He's going to Japan and I can't stop him.
My smile is no longer beaming and the sky is no longer perfect.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
Blossom, you're overreacting.
Right?
I put on a fake smile and hop in the car trying to leave my thoughts behind. I don't even remember what the time is. Then something comes to me.
I've been blanking it out all day to be happy with him. I mean, it's so obvious. He put his luggage in the car, his home is cleaner than possible and I've been acting like none of it happened. I've been acting as if there's no such thing as leaving.
I tried to forget because I already ruined the day. But I've ignored it for my sake.
"You've stopped humming," He says, beside me. I look at him and his eyes for a brief second before staring back out the tinted windows. "What's on your mind, love?"
"Maybe I just need a drink," I half-whisper. He hesitates to nod before passing be a drink from the back of the car. "Thanks," I flicker a smile before sipping out of the bottle.
Blossom. We get it. You're day sucks. But it's your fault.
Fake it until you make it, I guess.
"Ohh," I fake being interested. "There's some ice cream over there," I point. I can tell Harry knows somethings wrong, but I disregard it. "Be back, what would you like? Looks like there's chocolate, which is your favourite. One of my favourites too." I take out my purse and open the door as the car is stopped at a red light. "I'll be a sec!"
"Bloss we're in the middle of th-"
"Everyone has a crazy side!" I mock as I shut the door. I start dodging the cars as they move forward, successfully.
"Hey, darlin' what d'you like?" She's not British. Refreshing.
"Can I have two chocolate ice-creams please?"
She disappears from my sight, to get the ice cream, her hair flowing in the breeze. "There ya go, sunshine, that's £2.50," I search in my purse and all I can find is £2. I'm broke. 50p short.
"I'm short," I murmur.
"Watcha missin' honeybun?"
"50p" I replied.
"Everyone can have a better day," She smiles. SHe doesn't take the money and hands me the ice creams.
"No, I can't do that-"
"Hun," She cuts me off. "You're young. Go out. Run away. Do stuff. Me here is growing grey hair. Now, do you know what I regret most?" SHe asks. I wait for the answer. "Never having the courage to run."
"But-"
"Have a good day now," She smiles, radiating the space between us.
I hesitate to leave after not paying but decide to go. Can't stand here all day.
"Thanks, have a nice day," I smile back.
Now to find Harry.
I know he wouldn't just leave. I'm not him, but I would. Either way, he's most likely not too far. I search the area, getting no luck.
Maybe he has left.
I look down at my feet.
I've been abandoned.
I don't know what it feels like to abandon. I do now. It's terrible. Did I do something? Probably this morning, I scared him, didn't I?
"Oh my god, I'm a huge fan"
"Can I have your number," someone screams.
He didn't abandon me.
My heart rises again, a ray of sun overtakes my body as I look up from my feet and see Harry getting across to me with two fans roaming around him.
And, he looked good doing it.
His stray curl overtakes his cheap sunglasses, his smirk covering his face. He brushes his hands through his curls, with the stubborn one falling again.
He looks up to me and smiles and I smile back, the ice cream melting slightly. He talks to his young fans, I don't know what he says but they scream in return.
He waves them goodbye, them happier than ever and turns back to me. He walks up to me as if he owns the pavement we're standing on and looks directly at me. "Hello, love," He smirks, taking the ice cream out of my hand. He then entwines our hands as we walk over to the car.
"Nice to see you not being run over,"
"Really?" I question.
"yeah," He smiles at me making my heart beat faster.
We enter the warm car and look at each other in unison. "Off to the airport, I guess," He says, seeming upset for leaving. My heart sinks a little knowing I won't see him in person for a long time.
My smile fades, still trying to hold it up and I lick the melting ice cream. The warmness of the car evaporates and I feel like I've been slapped back into the cruel reality.
I've really grown to Harry, I guess. I mean, he's been my someone, he's made me a happier person, he's been a friend, helped me. In the span of 3 months. And I'll never be able to thank him enough. And now it sort of feels like it's been thrown away. Blossom, it's a tour, not a permanent holiday, chill.
Either way, I'm going to miss him loads.
As he drives to the airport, my eyes tear up as my heart sinks to the bottom of the ocean.
He's leaving today, and that's life.
Ems: Did you invite James over
No, why would I invite James over if I'm not home
That's what I thought
He says it's for a work meeting
Ems, I have no idea what you're on about.
Call me.
Emma picks up the phone, lightning speed. I hope she doesn't notice that I'm upset. "Emma. Can you put him on the phone real quick?" I ask.
She hands James the phone. I turn to see Harry slightly confused about what's going on. Same. "Hello, babe! It's nice to see you!" Ew. I almost puke in my mouth before I have the chance to speak. "You not home?"
"Please don't call me babe James," I turn to Harry who seems to be slightly mad. Sorry. "I'm not you're babe anymore. Why are you here, James?"
"You don't want to catch up? Alone?"
"No, I don't. Leave."
"Why would I do that? Where did you end up after you left?" Anger immediately crashes into me like thunder with a hint of pain and guilt. How dare he. How. Fucking. Dare. He.
"James, don't mention my past." I try to contain myself. "Don't you dare mention my past." I stutter, guilt washing over me.
"Why not, regret leaving?"
What the actual fuck? Why is he mentioning my past? How does he know? I've never told him about it. Ever. I'm confused, sickened, mad, distraught and most of all, guilty.
Tears drown my face as I see him doing his fake frown "What? Am I wrong? Maybe ask your brother. Oh wait, he's not here anymore is he?"
"Don't you fucki-"
"Hello, It's Harry," Harry takes my phone from my hands. I watch in confusion as he continues. "I don't know much about you, and I don't want to know anything about you but from what I can see you're a complete ass." Still, with guilt, I trust him. "Have a nice day."
And he hangs up the phone.
"You alright, Bloss?"
I open my mouth to speak, but no words leave my mouth. So I just shake my head. He reaches over and I flinch. He backs out, assuming that I'm scared. I understand, though. "How does he know?" I finally begin to speak.
He doesn't answer. I mean, how could he, he doesn't know what happened. "Harry," I get up wiping my tears "I'm sorry, let's just... forget it. I don't want to remember it. Please?"
He looks into my watering eyes and nods. I think he can tell I'm guilty. "Love?" I look at him and his sad eyes. "Is that to do with this morning?" He keeps it brief. All I do is nod. "Please don't apologise."
Not needing to answer, he's heads back into the busy road, on his way to the airport.
***
Our hands entwined, we enter the airport. This is it. I'm going to be alone for months. Of course, Emma is here and I absolutely love her but, I won't be able to tell her anything.
I take a look around, people scattered everywhere over the marble floor. This place looks very modern. It looks the same as it did when I got here a few years back. But, I won't mention it as my heart can't take any more pain right now. The place is lit up and loud, as expected. I see the wall covered in windows as the planes fly up into the sky.
"How long?" I ask, not wanting to speak much.
"Half an hour."
I nod and stand in front of him. "I'm going to miss you," I smile because that's the only thing that's keeping me from breaking down in front of him. I see the sadness in his eyes as I continue. "I didn't know what 3 months can do to someone."
"I won't forget,"
"What?"
"Anything. Blossom I-" He wipes his nose. Harry, please don't cry. "I won't forget anything. The way you hum, dance. Promise."
"Harry," I blush, fiddling with his t-shirt fabrics. "I'm trapped," I say, not caring what will spill out. He slightly pouts. I reach up to his face and rub my thumb on his cheek. "This is the freest I've been. I thought I was free. I thought that everything was perfect once I left New York. I thought that that was free." I look down at my feet, failing to contain my tears. "But, I was wrong."
He holds my waist as I get closer. "Thank you for being my somebody, Harry," I whisper into his ear. "Promise."
I hold him in a hug. I don't want it to end. But like all happy stories, they all must come to an end. "Don't forget about me," He jokes.
"Never," I smile into his shoulder.
After some time, we back out of our hug and stare at each other's eyes. I don't want to stop. Harry, please don't do this. Blossom, don't be so clingy.
"I'll call you every day, Bloss." I smile "If I can."
I laugh at him before letting go. Don't fade, Harry.
"Flight to Japan, Toyko sets off in 20 minutes."
He looks at me and reaches his hands behind his neck. He takes off his cross necklace. What? My cheeks burn red as he puts it on me, dangling with my father's necklace. "It was Robin's," He says with slight pain in his voice.
"Harry you don't have t-"
"No." I obey and stop. He really doesn't have to, though. "It looks better on you," my heart beats in my chest, feeling full and slightly happier. I've grown quite fond of Harry Styles. "He would want you to wear it, I think." He says.
His first tear leaves his eyes. "Don't cry," I say, in my shaky voice, wiping his tear.
We spend more minutes staring at each other. I take in his scent, smelling great as always. I look at his bare neck then I travel my eyes down at his stomach. I see through his t-shirt his tattoos. There all his then there's mine.
Let's scream in a bottle,
Sail away.
"Flight to Japan, Toyko sets off in 15 minutes"
"I should probably get going," He says.
My heat sinks. On the outside, I could look slightly sad but on the inside, I will never be able to explain how upset I am. "Blossom Harriet," I smile at him. "I'll see your face again."
I give him one last warm embrace, that I wish could last for an eternity before he disappears in a crowd of people.
I feel like I've lost someone forever. I feel like someone dropped a brick on me. I feel like how I felt when I left. I feel terrible. I can't move from my spot. I just want to wait to come back.
But he can't.
My heart aching, tears falling, I turn around and start going home.