But I can't go.
So, I run into the arms of the person who means the most to me in the world.
Harry Edward Styles.
"I can't," I say, slightly panicky. The shock and adrenaline are the only things making me not cry "I can't go, I can't Harry."
He embraces my cheeks, rubbing them both with his thumb. I look at his face, which is full of sock and amazement. "Blossom, you can't. You're job-"
"I'll quit."
"You can't just quit," He says, with excitement and confusion in his voice. "Plus, you have your book,"
"I'll take it with us." I hold up my phone.
A colossal smile enters his face, his dimples prominent as ever.
"Flight to Japan, Toyko sets off in 5 minutes."
We look up at the speakers talking to us. This is it.
He looks at me with disbelief as he takes my hand and runs off into the busy crowd, taking me with him.
I have nothing with me other than my phone and as of now, I don't care. I'm with Harry. This is what I want to do. I get it, when I get home I'm going to get shouted at, told off and it's overall going to be terrible but right now I'm with Harry and that's all that matters.
I think it's time to let go.
We swerve through the people, our hands entwined me trailing behind slightly.
"Flight to Japan, Tokyo sets off in 2 minutes."
I pick up my speed and the adrenaline gives me all the energy I need. I'm truly as free as possible right now. I'm in cloud nine and I love it.
"You're such an idiot sometimes," He shouts from in front.
"Aren't we all?" I grin.
I've chucked my self behind and it is already the best decision of my life.
"I guess we are," I can sense him smiling from in front.
"Flight to Japan, Tokyo sets off in 30 seconds."
"We're almost there!" Harry shouts to me. He turns to see me warn out as ever. He shakes his head and stops. What is he doing?
He charges at me and picks me up, sending butterflies to roam my stomach freely. I giggle into his chest as we make it to our destination. It says it's leaving in 15 seconds.
He shows the tickets and we dash off into First Class, just about making it.
His face red from all that running, mine red too, we sit down in our seats. I'm going to Japan!
He swings me over so I straddling his lap, our heavy breath synchronising. He cups my red face as I place my hands on his shoulder.
The butterflies flap in my stomach and my heart is racing. Everything slows down as he swipes my parted lips with his finger. Our noses touch, him giving me his bodily warmth. "You're such an idiot," He whispers into me.
"Then you're an idiot too," I whisper back.
His hands slide down my neck, down to my sides. I stare at his eyes, which are very close to mine. In awe, he presses my hips down, closer to him. My cheeks already coloured from the running somehow they become even redder.
Then we kiss.
Slow and steady, we kiss to the rhythm of our beating hearts. And my heart is free. His delicate lips touch mine as he holds me in his arms. I feel his tongue go along my bottom lip as I let him inside. Not knowing what's happening, I continue to kiss Harry.
Time stops as his lips crash against mine once more, the flutter in my stomach making me feel like I'm floating. Our hearts pound as my guard gets weaker and weaker. All I can only focus on is how soft Harry's lips feel against mine, how complete it's making me feel.
Every breath we take only makes me want his touch more and more.
What's wrong with me?
Heat rises from my stomach to my chest and my heart definitely skips a beat as his tongue meets mine. I tug on his t-shirt, my cheeks become achy from how pigmented they have become.
Out of breath, we both release the kiss. We look at each other as I smell his cologne from his skin, the heat making me melt. I'm left bewildered.
My hand explores his as I trace over his cross on his by his thumb. He's so close. Still panting for air, I look at his coloured nails. "Yellow and Orange?" I ask, looking back into his green, crystallised eyes.
"I was bored so I painted my nails like yours, yellow. I thought I couldn't copy you so I decided to add orange," All I could do was smile profusely as I briefly place my lips on his once more.
I don't know why we kissed, but I loved it. I may regret it later but, I don't care. The way it makes my heart melt.
It all feels like a dream yet is very much real.
***
Japan feels like a different planet from the UK. Everywhere you turn, people are yapping, blabbing and lights are everywhere you go. It's brand new to me and yet its the most prettiest thing I've seen.
"とてもかわいい(so cute!)!" I hear a girl say in front of me. She has a school uniform on, with a bright grin on her face. I heard her say かわいい(kawaii) which means cute from what I know. I wave at the girl as she squeals.
Harry continues to show me around this foreign place, to the destination he wants me to go to.
It's pretty heated here. Just how everyone's so close together as if the roads and pavements aren't big enough. It's pretty funny how busy it is. It's so much unlike Britain. Amazing.
I mean, the roads seem different, the lights, the people, the faces, the feel and the overall vibe is so much different to anywhere I've been before. More illuminated. I adore it.
"Here we are," He smiles at me, slightly out of breath. I return the smile as we walk into the restaurant. "I remember eating here a few years back. It was pretty good." He says, hands still in mine.
If I'm being honest, I can't believe we kissed. We were both very much sober so I don't know what came over us. But it felt so right. It felt as if I've been needing it or as if it was the right thing to do at the moment. Either way, I don't regret it as I still get butterflies thinking about it. I wish I could replay the moment.
Bloss, get over it, it'll never happen again.
Harry and I take our seats with slippers on. I do know in Japanese culture that they don't tend to wear outdoor shoes indoors.
I look at the menu.
Orgasm Rolls.
I peer up and Harry, who has a big smirk on his face.
I fight myself to not smile "Interesting." I say before peering down at the menu again.
"Very," He replies.
I put the menu down and lean of the table "So... any reason you bought me here?" I mean, I know why: the orgasm rolls.
Just to be sure.
He raised his eyebrows and also leans on the table, in the same position as me. "What makes you there's a reason?" He says, slightly high pitched.
"I don't know," I sarcastically shrug "Just curious..."
"No reason," He smiles.
"Hmm..." I watch his eyes in awe as he goes back to studying the menu.
Very interesting indeed.
***
We shut the door behind up hands entwined. "Oooo..." I say in pure thrill "Fancy," I smile. I see him look at me, smiling.
The place is amazing. Like, wow. The ceiling to floor windows shows the view of the city, the lights of cars igniting our room along with the lights of the building surrounding ours. The sky is pink and it almost feels like a dream.
But it's not, it's reality.
I walk into the first room I see, which is this amazing, white bedroom with a perfectly made bed and another huge window displaying the world below. I hear Harry walk in as I turn around and collapse on the bed.
It feels like heaven. It feels like everything I've ever dreamed of. It feels absolutely amazing.
My body becomes engulfed in the heavenly material as Harry lays beside me. I turn to him and he does the same. We look at each other in awe. The beautiful view reflects on him, making one side of his face glow.
"Thank you," I whisper.
"What for, love?"
"I don't know," I reply. I stare at his illuminated eye in awe as I continue. "I just feel as if I need to say it," I smile.
I look at his lips that once touched mine.
"Harry," I whisper, slightly nervous. He hums as he closes his eyes.
"Thank you for making my stares align."
He opens his eyes back up. I already predicted that.
He smiles and kisses my forehead.
We stare at each other for a few more moments.
Without knowing, my stomach is turning and my hands are clammy and sweaty.
"I remember each night my dad and I used to stargaze." Harry studies my eyes like I studied the stars. "He said that one day my stars with align. He said he felt great. And... I feel like I'm feeling what he said he felt."
I am nervous about saying all of this. I've never said this to anyone. I've not said a word to Emma, James anyone. But this feels right.
"What was the feeling?"
I hesitate to answer "Happiness, joy and..." I trail off. Love. My father said Love. But, I don't believe in that because each time I have, it has torn me apart. It's still a vivid memory. Once my brother passed, the stargazing happened less often.
I still remember the shape of Dad's hand or the feel of family. The sound of the baby crying, which I wish I could here one last time. That was love.
But it didn't last.
It all burns out, even if I scream and shout.
Love never lasts forever.
"Blossom?" He whispers, taking my hair out of my face, "Can I ask why you left?"
I swallow the lump in my throat. I have to meet him halfway. He's told me about Robin, I'll tell him about this. "I had to," I say nervously. Bloss, you can do this. "Once my brother... passed away, my mum fell down and broke down and I no longer felt safe."
I fake a smile to make the situation somewhat light-hearted. "I'm sorry, Blossom," He replies. He doesn't need to apologise, so I shake my head. "How did he pass?" He asks with calmness in his voice.
A bigger lump appears in my throat. "I killed him, Harry."
He stops brushing my hair, stops moving. I've ruined it.
Well done, Blossom.
"I didn't know any better!" I say. "T-the rules. My mum used to always say to help her, so I did. That's how I killed him," Even more shock appears in his eyes. "W-wait not like that! I mea-"
He kisses me so I stop speaking.
Butterflies brush the pit in my stomach away making me calmer. His lips separate from mine.
My stars really have aligned.
Do you forgive me, baby brother? I've done this for you, Little T.
I stare at his bare neck. I am still wearing his necklace.
"I should give your neckla-"
He shakes his head, refusing to have it back.
"It looks better on you." He whispers.
So, I slip off my father's necklace. I then hook it on him, the cold metal colliding with his inked skin.
He looks at me with his soft eyes, making me calm as ever. "You sure?"
I hesitate to answer. It belongs with him. I nod. "Yes, now when I'm not with you, I'll be missing half of me. Half of everything." He pecks my forehead again. "Harry, now you know me. No one knows about all of this."
"Thank you," He whispers before tapping my lips with his.
Beside me, my phone lights up. I have a message.
From an unknown number?
"Japan is different from what I expected."
"Those Orgasm Rolls were tasty"
"Five-star restaurant, good choice."
"What the he-" I whisper.
"What happened?" Harry asks, slightly scared.
"Someone's been watching us the whole day!"