ahhh i love this so much! this is by zu on discord! you can find zu's IG @myyszka.png where there's more incredible art!!
Tomura is agitated.
He falls to the ground the moment he steps through Kurogiri's mist, face-planting into the old hardwood flooring of the bar. The villain lets out a hiss and squirms the rest of the way out of the portal, seething. The events of today are plaguing his mind and crowding his thoughts, and he stays in his crumpled up position to try and curb his frustration.
"I was shot," Tomura reports, knowing full well that the small television sitting on the counter is listening. "Both arms and both legs. We got crushed." He moves his head to try and sit up, but some of the blood pooling from his shoulder gets on Father's hand and makes him frantically yank the appendage off his face to wipe it clean. "My Nomu was taken down in a flash. Even those kids were strong."
The disgust edges back into his voice near the end, and Tomura shifts so he's looking at the dusty ceiling. His injuries will be healed soon enough, so he'll be fine. He's more focused on the anger that's now burning at his skin, on the fingers scratching at his neck with a newfound vigor.
"The Symbol of Peace is in perfect health! You were wrong, master."
The monitor crackles. "No, I wasn't." A slight pause; Tomura writhes on the floor for a moment to contain his irritation. "We merely got ahead of ourselves. Yes, we underestimated him. It is a good thing the villains came cheap."
That's an understatement. Those petty criminals had no business associating with the League of Villains. In fact, if Tomura had his way, they wouldn't have even hired such low-level thugs. The so-called villains just made the League look bad with how easily they were taken down by one pro hero. They were simple NPC's, not important for anything except keeping the background active and interesting, and Tomura hates that the League had to stoop so low just to fail in the end.
"And what of our creation? Did you retrieve him?"
Tomura just growls and turns back on his side, glaring at Kurogiri as the villain manifests into his usual attire and answers for him.
"He was sent flying. And unless we ascertain his precise coordinates, no amount of warping will let us find him." The bartender starts to wipe the insides of the hanging wine glasses on the back wall one at a time. "I couldn't spare the time back there."
The static starts up again. "After all the trouble we went through to make him as strong as All Might, hm? Well, that's too bad. A real shame."
"Right. Strong." Tomura fidgets from his place on the floor, his next words tumbling from his mouth before he can think better of them. Not that he would've kept quiet even if he had, of course. "There was one. One kid who seemed just as fast as All Might."
"Oh?"
Fake. Even through speakers, Tomura can hear the amused tilt to All for One's tone. The boy hisses again, practically whining. "Sensei, you knew he would be there, didn't you?" It's more of an accusation than a question. "He deserves to pay for what he's done, so why didn't you tell me? We wouldn't have failed!"
"Now, Tomura, your brother is very independent." The centuries-old villain sounds like he's smiling, all sharp teeth and bloodstained lips. "Having you bring him back today or even kill him would have been counterproductive. Besides, I think little Izuku needs more time to be left alone before his punishment."
Ah. Tomura is starting to understand now. The only reason Midoriya Izuku isn't in their clutches right now is because All for One wills it so. It's been a few years since the brat's escape, which would have been more than enough time for the villain to get him back. Sure, Izuku's very slick when he wants to be, and he's also very hard to find, but in the end there's nothing anyone can do against All for One's wit and power. It's simply the way things are.
Sensei wants to wait. He wants to give Izuku the illusion of freedom, and then he wants to rip the rug right out from under him and take the boy back by force. It's cruel, it's sinister, and it's the perfect way to make sure Izuku knows where he belongs. His antics have gone on for far too long, not that Tomura is complaining. He doesn't miss his brother's company one bit.
The brat was favored by All for One anyway. He was trained personally and given all of these special powers—and then he just left. He was fed on a gold fucking spoon, and then he threw that all away. Midoriya Izuku is spoiled rotten, and Tomura hates him. He wants to kill him.
Sensei probably doesn't have the same sentiment, but he doesn't care. All for One will most likely try to make use of the boy despite his unwillingness, as if Izuku is even worth anything anymore after his betrayal. He's not. He's just an obstacle in Tomura's way.
He doesn't want him to return. He might take back his place as All for One's prized possession, and that wouldn't be good at all. For anyone involved.
The pain in his limbs have dulled away to a numb sort of throbbing, pulling Tomura back from his thinking. "Without that pest, we might have killed All Might... but that brat damaged the Nomu before he got there."
"No use crying over spilled milk, Tomura. He will get his dues. First he dares to associate with his fated rival, knowing the consequences of such foolishness, and then he attempts to become a hero at a school for fakes. Selfish, wouldn't you say?" His voice is a low rumble from the television. "This endeavor was not a complete loss, however. Find stronger troops; take all the time you need."
Tomura plans to. He won't make this mistake again. He won't fail his sensei a second time.
"We can't move freely just yet. That's why we need a symbol like you, Tomura! Next time, the world will know of the terror you represent."
It sounds like a promise. Like a mere statement of fact. And that's how Tomura knows it's true; All for One will make sure it is.
It always feels good to be praised by his master. He never used to get this when Izuku was still around, so that's another reason he's glad the boy's going to be six feet under soon. Tomura will become the next anti-symbol of peace in his place. He will make everyone fear his name and tremble at his very presence, and that's a promise, too. He's going to make those heroes regret ever being born.
And he's going to start with his little brother.
When Izuku wakes up, he's not alone. That's the first thing he notices. His brain is fuzzy, and he can barely think past the pounding in his temples, but he manages to sit himself up with difficulty.
Hm. His leg has been healed.
A quick glance around tells Izuku that this is the nurse's room, but it feels a little more crowded than it was just this morning. Another bed has been brought in for All Might, and the—
Wait. All Might?
Izuku's eyes blow wide as the memories of the most recent events come back to him, and he nearly falls off his bed in his attempts to get up and move. His arm is yanked back, and that's when he realizes there's an IV taped to the inside of his elbow. Which can only mean—
"My boy, are you alright?"
His head snaps around to face his mentor, who's sitting up as well. The hero looks rough, to put it nicely. He looks like he just rolled out of some bushes and fell into a meat grinder with the bandages all around his chest and stomach. He must've pushed himself past his limit yet again, damaging himself even further. It's a wonder he's even alive right now, in all honesty.
"Midoriya?"
That's Recovery Girl's voice. The healer is sitting on the rolling stool by her computer, staring at him with a frown.
"My blood!" Is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. Izuku freezes, realizing just how stupid that sounds. He really is a dumbass, huh? "My blood," he repeats, more composed this time. "Did you take it?"
Recovery Girl takes off her glasses and peers at him curiously. "You're asking if I did a blood test, dear?"
Izuku can't speak for fear of saying something he might regret, so he just nods.
"I didn't, sonny. What's going in your arm right now is a simple pain killer, so I didn't need to test anything before putting it in. Though from the look on your face I don't think it's quite working to the extent it should." She tilts her head. "I'm guessing you have a high metabolism due to your enhancements?"
All Might is staring at him as well, silently listening to their conversation with a concerned downturn of his lips.
"Uh, yeah," Izuku grits out, voice rough. His body feels a little prickly, almost as if it's trying to get numb but can't quite get there. "It's fine, though."
"Hm, if you say so. Next time, however, I will make some changes to make sure you have what you need. Something that'll actually work." She turns back to her computer, and Izuku feels slightly better at the knowledge that his blood hasn't been taken. Not this time, at least.
He needs to be more careful in the future. This conversation could've been singing a very different tune right now.
"The situation being what it was," Recovery Girl continues tiredly. "I can't scold you two this time."
All Might sighs. "I think I've probably shortened my time limit again. I'll be lucky if I still get an hour a day."
Guilt hits Izuku like a speeding truck, making the boy wince. Not even an hour? There's not much the number one hero can do in that time frame. He still has an appearance to keep up, and if he only shows up for a short while the people are bound to get concerned. And coupled with being a teacher at UA, where his classes are expected to be more than an hour long sometimes, the man's future doesn't look too good now.
I caused that, Izuku thinks sourly. If only I'd told them my suspicions, if only I'd been better. I should've been able to take down that Nomu completely so he wouldn't have had to push himself.
His fault. The weight of the words are like bricks tied to his feet.
"All Might..." Izuku whispers, trailing off.
"Ah, whaddya gonna do!" The blond shrugs, panting just a little bit as he shifts to sit criss-cross applesauce. "Bad things happen! This was bound to happen sooner or later."
But did it have to be this soon?
A fizz of energy hits the back of Izuku's mind, and the boy lifts his head to glance at the door just as a few knocks ring out. The door opens a moment later, and Detective Tsukauchi walks through.
"Pardon me," the man says, lifting off his hat in such a funny fashion that Izuku has to snap his jaw shut so he won't tease him about it. He's done that multiple times before, most of those as Rabbit. "Long time no see, All Might."
Izuku then realizes two things at once: the first being that Tsukauchi knows about One for All, something that Izuku had only assumed before now. He's pretty sure All Might must have told Izuku that at one point, but if so, the boy forgot all about it. The second being that All Might has probably talked to Tsukauchi about Izuku, seeing as the detective doesn't blink an eye at Izuku being in the same room as a deflated All Might.
"Tsukauchi," the hero starts, choking up blood. "Didn't know you were here!"
"I'm just here to ask some questions regarding the attack. Is this a good time?"
All Might seems to straighten up, a lot more serious. "Wait, hold on. First, are the students all right? And Aizawa and Thirteen?"
At the mention of his classmates and teachers, Izuku swallows back the blood threatening to rise up his throat and forces himself to listen.
Tsukauchi lets out a small breath. "Besides Midoriya over there, the students've got nothing more than a few bumps and bruises. And Aizawa and Thirteen are out of danger for now."
For now. They shouldn't have even been hurt to begin with. None of this should've happened. There must've been talk of the invasion on the streets since Shigaraki was hiring, Izuku thinks. If I had concentrated more on my patrols, maybe I would've heard something. We would've been prepared. Why didn't I hear something about this?
"If you three heroes hadn't put your lives on the line," Tsukauchi says. "The students wouldn't have made it out unscathed."
Izuku thinks of Thirteen's cracked helmet, of the parts of the rescue hero that seemed to have been destroyed by their own quirk. That must've been Kurogiri's doing.
He thinks of All Might's reduced time limit, of the bandages covering his middle. His mentor's secret was almost found out today. He guesses that one of the other pros got him out of there before he could be seen by one of the students.
And then Izuku thinks of Aizawa. His sensei, broken and bloody, being pounded further into the ground with each sickening blow of the Nomu's fist. He thinks of Aizawa gathering up the last bit of his strength to protect Tsuyu and Mineta where Izuku couldn't. Where Izuku failed to.
So close to dying. So close to leaving behind the world forever, of leaving behind his partner—someone Izuku is seventy percent sure he knows the identity of. He was so close to leaving behind Izuku, and maybe that's a selfish thing to think, but it's only one of the many, many thoughts bumbling around inside Izuku's head.
He tunes back in to hear All Might talking about how the students put their lives on the line, too. About how they were thrown into a real battle at such a young age, and how they now know how cruel and scary the world can be—but Izuku can't get himself to focus on the conversation anymore.
His mentor is right. The battle is serving as a kind of eye-opener for Izuku. He's fought villains before, of course, there's just something about this particular fight that makes it so different. It's the circumstances that are causing a hole to be carved inside his chest, hollowing out his insides. His patrols are different from this precisely because the rest of the students were there this time. He rarely has to protect such a large group of people, and rarely does he ever have to fight a creature as strong as the Nomu.
Today has been one of the scariest and hardest battles of his life, and Izuku has a feeling that it's pretty high up there on All Might's own list of terrible battles.
Even if it's only because of how terrifying it was.
"Aizawa," Izuku begins, glancing up from where he was fiddling with the corners of his thin blanket. "Are his eyes okay?"
Tsukauchi turns to him for what feels like the first time since he entered the room, and Izuku's gut clenches at the look in his eye. There's something there he doesn't like. "He's going to be in casts for a bit of time, son, but his vision is going to be alright. No blindness or loss of sight."
"What about his Erasure?"
It's Recovery Girl who answers, having been silently typing away at her computer until now. "His own time limit has decreased, but only by a few seconds. His quirk hasn't been damaged otherwise."
But his body has. Izuku can still remember the dust floating up into the air as the hero's elbow disintegrated under Shigaraki's touch, can still remember the chills that went down his own spine upon hearing the snap of Aizawa's bone when the Nomu pinned him to the concrete. He can still hear the man's cut-off scream echoing in his ears.
He wants to throw up. In fact, the only reason he hasn't coughed up any more blood is because of the painkillers his body is burning through. It's not much, but it's helping.
He needs to find his—
"And by the way, Midoriya," Tsukauchi reaches into his tan overcoat and pulls out something small. He crosses the distance between them and presses the object into his palm. "Your friend found this in the rubble. Wouldn't let me leave until I promised to give it to you."
Izuku's eyes widen when he sees the ring sitting in his hand now. It's definitely his—the running rabbit on the side is proof of that. And even before Izuku frantically slides it on without hesitation, the boy can feel the comfort it provides from where it's resting in his palm. It's like all of his senses have been dulled the moment he slips it back into its normal spot, and he revels in the feeling. Oh, thank god.
"That boy really is scary," Tsukauchi mutters, All Might nodding sagely in agreement.
The detective must be referring to Kacchan, though how the blond even managed to find it so quickly is beyond Izuku. He must've noticed how Izuku didn't have it on while carrying him. So much for having to search for it. I'm gonna hug him so fucking hard when I see him.
Again. He really hopes that these small actions are Kacchan's way of apologizing. Izuku doesn't like staying mad at the boy for long. He can't handle being alone, not anymore.
"But back to the matter at hand," Tsukauchi continues with a sigh. He thanks Recovery Girl for pulling out a chair for him and sits down. "Sorry to do this so soon, but I'd like to get both of your accounts on what happened. I already interviewed the other students, this is just for the record." He turns a pointed eyebrow towards Izuku. "Especially since you were the closest to the leaders of this attack, right?"
Izuku just nods, and he's thankful when the detective starts with All Might first. He listens only to the first part of his explanation. Apparently the hero was on the way to the USJ after having bad feelings about not being there, only to run into Iida.
That's luck, if Izuku's ever seen it.
When his own turn comes around, Izuku swallows down his nerves and acts.
He can't lie, not to Tsukauchi, so instead he answers vaguely and makes sure to drop certain details that throw the man off track. He tells them the truth about fighting the Nomu and how he tried to go for the weak spots, only for his moments of distraction to allow Shigaraki time to go for his two classmates. He tells them that he talked to Crusty Lips about his motives and why he brought the Nomu—which isn't a lie, technically. He did do that, among other things. Izuku just makes sure to leave out the incriminating parts.
And by the time he's done, Tsukauchi has a few pages of information down and All Might is staring at Izuku with something sad in his blue eyes.
Recovery Girl finishes up his healing in that timeframe, making another bout of exhaustion threaten to overtake the boy. Tsukauchi is the first one to leave the nurse's room, and Izuku avoids any further conversation with the hero sitting beside him.
The guilt is eating him up again. He can barely stand being in the same space as All Might right now.
He can only hope that everything turns out alright.
When Izuku gets home after a long, painstaking walk, he gets to work.
First he opens up the security footage from the USJ. He takes time to review the recovered video and takes notes of the criminals and students he sees.
He was right. Multiple groups of students were sent to different zones that rendered their quirks close to useless, putting them at a disadvantage. He watches his classmates fight and eventually win their own battles, writing the information down all the while in a new journal of his. This one is going to be dedicated solely to the attack, and he's planning on giving it to Eraserhead.
He has an excuse as to why he knows so much about the villains: he fought them alongside his teacher. No one should think much of the amount of information he's going to give.
Izuku moves on to the most pressing matter, however: his fight with the Nomu. Most of the sound files during Izuku's conversation with Shigaraki are easy enough to get rid of, so that's one thing he doesn't have to worry about, but you can still clearly see him use Pull and even Deflect at one point of the video. The angles are a bit suspicious, but it's still there, and those powers are obviously not a part of One for All.
If someone is familiar with Izuku and his two enhancement quirks, it'll be easy to figure out that there's more to what's going on.
He needs to get rid of this section. Corrupt the data in case Principal Nezu tries to review it himself.
It takes longer than expected, and Izuku can only hope that the mammal didn't already do this and copy the files onto a hard drive or something—then Izuku would be screwed.
He skips over Aizawa's fight with the Nomu, not wanting to be reminded of the gory scene still playing on repeat in his mind, and instead watches what happens after All Might arrives.
He watches as he takes Mineta and Tsuyu up to the top of the stairs, followed by an unmoving Aizawa, and he tips his head when All Might drops screen-Izuku off to the side before dealing with the threat.
Izuku raises his brows in mild surprise when Kacchan and Kirishima appear from seemingly nowhere and help out. Todoroki enters from a neighboring zone and freezes the Nomu, allowing All Might to break free.
They were all fighting together. They were helping. Izuku wasn't alone.
But that's—that's not quite right.
He only has himself. He can only afford to act alone; it's a system he's been clinging onto since the day he left his father's clutches. But now he has more friends, he has more people who care about him. More people who actually want to be around him. The thought is slightly horrifying, as Izuku knows firsthand what happens when he gets close to others.
He's going to have to keep his distance from here on out, no matter how hard or mean it is. It's his own fault for letting himself get close to them anyways, and look where that's gotten them? In the midst of a villain attack on their third day of school.
My fault. Should've known. Should've listened more intently to other vigilantes and heroes, and then I might've heard about the League's plans and would have been able to prevent it.
Whether or not the attack happened because of Izuku directly is unclear, but that doesn't matter.
The system has changed a little bit recently, just enough to allow more people through. Just enough for Izuku to feel that lingering panic after every sentence he utters to his new friends. Because friend isn't a word he's supposed to know. Kacchan is a friend, sure, but somehow he's more than that. Izuku has never really called him that because he's always just been there; a steady calm in the storm that is Izuku's life.
And maybe Kacchan did used to bully him, and maybe he did abandon Izuku once before, right after Inko did, but that doesn't matter either. What matters is that he's here now, and he cares. In his own way.
After Izuku escaped the grasp of his father, he swore that he'd make a better life for himself. He wouldn't be anyone's puppet. He would find a new normal, and he'd be alright.
And he has been finding it, It's just been taking some time, that's all.
Some days, everything flows. He gets up and finds his rhythm and lives his new normal. His bones protest the motion of forward but he keeps going and going and going, because he has to.
But sometimes, Izuku wakes up and he can't move. He wakes up and he doesn't want to do anything or be anything, and darkness threatens to stain every inch of a world he once knew to be bright.
There are days when Izuku feels like the world is too big, but his insides are squeezed tight until they feel like they'll pop. The days he'll curl up into a ball on the bathroom floor and press his hands over his ears to try and make his brain just stop.
These are the days Izuku can only see blood on a man's face or watch the knife in his hand dig into an innocent person's back until they fall slack on the floor. The days he'll hear himself scream and gurgle from the spit built in his mouth, white-hot electricity running through his veins and burning beneath his skin. The days where he'll see gnawing teeth barking at him, the harsh words cutting through the invisible fog in his mind like a blade.
"Don't stop. Not until you've taken the last remnants of their being and made it your own. Not until they stop begging for you to leave them and instead start begging for you to finish the job."
Izuku snatches some clothes off the floor and throws himself into the shower, washing and rinsing himself with vigor. The icy cold water seems to calm the burning sensation under his skin, but not for long.
He doesn't know why he's thinking all of this. It must be because of his surprise family reunion today. Must be because of the knowledge that All for One knows. He knows about Izuku's attendance at UA, probably knows about his closeness with All Might, and probably knows about a whole bunch of other shit that Izuku can't even begin to think of right now.
And it's sending the boy into a spiral of self-doubt and hatred.
His head still hurts from the sharp waves of pain that pulse through it, and it's made even worse when he tries to pull on his clothes. He has to stop after putting his pants on and sit with his head in his hands, trying not to throw up from the pain.
It truly feels like someone has hammered a nail into his skull, piercing it in half while his ears ache in a different way. They seem too sensitive and keen, something he isn't used to.
He can hear every little drip of water in his abandoned apartment, every little creak of the pipes and soft pawsteps from Missy, and all he wants to do is rip his own ears out.
Izuku pants out a steamy breath, peeling himself off of the closed toilet. He finally throws on his shirt and adjusts it so it lies flat.
He has to get back to his desk. He has to finish watching the camera footage so he has an idea of where to patrol tomorrow night.
Oh, right. He hasn't even turned in that essay for Present Mic. Fuck.
The voice hero assigned it yesterday, and it's not even that difficult. It's just a simple one page assignment where they're supposed to introduce themselves and write down their favorite hobbies—not even in English, for god's sake. He would've finished it that same class period had he actually put in the effort, but now he's stuck scrambling.
Izuku doubts the man would make it due the day back now that everything's gone to shit, but still. He needs to get it done sometime soon.
Cold breath slithers up the column of his neck and he gags. It crawls up further, covering his chin, his cheeks, everything—
Izuku collapses on his way out the bathroom door, legs giving out on him as his head feels like it's being pierced again by a spike. The chill continues to crawl up his face and leave nothing but pain behind.
He shakily raises his hands up to grasp at his head, settling them in his mess of dark hair. He grips at the green curls, feeling the pinpricks of pain as he pulls on the strands.
He has to get up, get up, get up, get up—
Izuku manages to pull one of his legs underneath him and then the other, now kneeling on the damp floor, hands still buried in his wet hair.
Another sharp pain pierces through his skull.
Izuku can smell iron in his nose, the heavy, metallic scent overwhelming him, a warning sign that his nose is about to start bleeding.
Drip. Drip.
"No, no, no, no—" Izuku chokes out, wiping his nose with the back of his hand and seeing the crimson liquid that now coats the skin. He covers his nose and runs to the kitchen, grabbing a towel to replace his hand.
He can feel the blood coat the back of his throat and mouth with that acrid metallic taste. He spits, filling the sink with dark bile.
Izuku shakily removes the stained cloth from his nose and folds it over itself, now covering his mouth.
He slumps against the counter for who knows how long, blood steadily streaming out of his nose and dribbling from his mouth until eventually it ceases to a few drops.
He is so incredibly tired.
He took his pill today. He has his ring on. So why the fuck is this happening? He shouldn't be feeling like this, shouldn't be struggling this much. His emotions are a mess, his mind a hurricane, and now his body is trembling and breaking apart.
Is this his punishment for not taking the quirk? The regeneration that Extract so badly wanted?
He should've. He really should have. Izuku knows how much it would've helped. It probably would've stopped all of this from happening, actually, but now he's stuck with it. He didn't take it, and he still can't figure out why he hesitated. It's not human. It's a creature, right? It could barely think for itself, so if anything Izuku would've been doing it a favor by taking its power. It would've been defeated so much more easily. Wouldn't have had to go through that pain and trouble.
But if it feels pain then that means it still has human qualities. It'd let out the most ear-piercing shriek when Izuku sliced open its brain, so it definitely feels pain. Meaning it still would've been wrong for him to steal the quirk since Extract hurts to use. For both sides. It's essentially tearing a piece of somebody's soul away, ripping it from their being and forcing it to be Izuku's own. It's unpleasant, to say the least, and it would've been terrible.
Immoral. Even for a creature.
He can blame All Might's interruption all he wants, as he'd convinced himself to steal it anyway at that specific moment before the hero's entrance, but the truth remains that there were so many other opportunities for him to take it. And he didn't. He just let it slip through his fingers.
So now Extract is punishing him.
Izuku is finally back in his chair after somewhat successfully avoiding bleeding out. So far, he's sacrificed two towelettes, having to chuck them out of his window and onto a nearby roof to avoid any patrolling heroes finding them on the ground.
His pain isn't gone completely. It's just turned into an aching thump at the back of his skull—nothing a few pain-relievers can't handle. He grabs at the bottle of pills that the doctor at the Club gave him and swallows down two more tablets. He should only have to take one a day, according to the doctor himself, but it doesn't seem that that's working so great now. Has he built up an immunity to it this quickly? There's no way.
Izuku falls onto the couch after having AINA submit his bullshit essay, not even caring that he's still in his clothes. He can still smell the faint iron scent in his nose and rubs at it, flaking away some of the blood still caked on the inside.
Maybe he doesn't have a good hold on Extract or One for All.
Maybe he is still going to struggle with the pain, with the aching, the sickness, the itch—
Izuku scratches absently at his wrist, noting the new scars that cover the sides of his hand. He didn't break any bones beside his leg this time, but Recovery Girl had made sure to tell him after Tsukauchi left that even with the Nomu having a shock absorption quirk, he shouldn't have used One for All continuously the way he did, especially not at full power. If he keeps this up, he's going to have nerve damage.
Which sounds metal, but also really, really troublesome.
Sick, cloying panic starts to creep up the back of his throat the longer he thinks about his mistakes today.
He wasn't fast enough, nor was he smart enough. His slip-ups were accidents that he could have easily prevented, but also could have been severely hurt by. No, that doesn't matter. His friends could have been severely hurt by them.
Aizawa was. So was Thirteen. All Might just barely managed to keep his secret safe. They all almost died.
Izuku's counter to the Nomu's attack could have killed him, and Izuku still remembers the haunted look in the creature's eyes when it realized something was different after its brain had been sliced open. That its regeneration wasn't the same anymore, that it couldn't do the things it was most definitely trained to do. It almost looked, dare Izuku say, scared. Izuku thinks about when he fought beside Aizawa before the whole Nomu thing went down, and he remembers the obvious worry the man had shown when Izuku was in the middle of dodging a nasty blow to the throat.
People shouldn't have to be afraid of a hero. Nor should they have to worry about them.
Heroes should be reassuring and comforting simply by existing, like how All Might was when he smashed into the USJ to save them. His mere presence was like a gift from the heavens; a promise of survival. Heroes should be comforting like how Present Mic was when he woke Izuku up from that nightmare at the laundromat that day. They should be like how Eraserhead continues to be with every single meeting he's had with Rabbit: an anchor. A lifeline. For Izuku has been navigating uncharted waters for the majority of his life, and having something there to tether him to the ground, to bring him back to reality—it's something he's never dared to hope for, even in his most childish dreams.
Izuku doesn't have that same effect around people. And sure, he's not a hero yet, never will be, but he should at least be able to make people stop worrying. It seems that all he manages to do is screw up, though.
Take today for example. He used his quirks. He does that sometimes as Rabbit, but only when he's sure nobody can see or remember it correctly. This time is different, however. Mineta and Tsuyu must have seen it. Aizawa was there, too. Whether or not he was conscious enough to really see it is debatable, but the chance is still there, and it's still too strong.
And his knife. He took out a dangerous, undocumented support weapon and used it during the battle. Again, Izuku isn't sure Aizawa actually processed that little detail, as they had more pressing matters to deal with at the time, but still.
He's made so many mistakes in just the past few hours that he wants to scream. He wants to hit something. Maybe himself. He wants to go after Shigaraki and his father and fucking show them why targeting his school, his mentor, is a bad idea. Is, not was, because Izuku knows that this won't be the only time this happens.
Maybe it's Izuku's fault and maybe it isn't, but all the boy knows is that he's angry in a way he hasn't been in for a long, long time, and he's starting to think that maybe UA isn't the best place for him after all. His previous reasons for not applying were valid. He sees that now. He worried that attending this school would put everyone in danger, and he was right.
Kacchan will hate me if I drop out. Maybe if I can find a subtle way to get expelled or something I'll have a better excuse.
It shouldn't be too hard with Aizawa as his teacher. The man would probably expel him for breathing too heavily. Izuku knows the best ways to piss him off, too, so he should be golden.
But the more Izuku starts to think, the more his mind wanders to the unimportant things. He thinks of the criminals Shigaraki most definitely hired as a distraction, the ones that are now sitting in jail.
They were willing to hurt Izuku. They were willing to kill him and all of the other students—mere children. And for what? A few hundred bucks each? Or was it more than that? They probably just wanted a chance to brag about the fact that they got to work with the new League of Villains.
Those aren't just criminals in Izuku's mind anymore. They're monsters. He knows, logically, that they must have their own reasons for being so cold and bloodthirsty, but he can't find it in himself to care. Who knows how many of his classmates they would've killed had they been given the chance?
He thinks once again about their faces, about how some of them even seemed familiar to him. As if he's seen them before in passing or on patrol.
Or maybe even at the Club.
The anger bubbles up inside him again, and Izuku turns on his side to glare at the wall. The couch is as uncomfortable as always, but the slight pain helps with giving him something to focus on. Missy jumps up and curls into his chest, and Izuku forces the tension out of his body so he doesn't scare her. It's a good thing he's already fed her, as he doesn't think he has the energy to do much of anything right now other than glower.
The Club only has a few rules, and Izuku knows them by heart. He knows that harming anyone underage is not allowed under any circumstance. For a member of the Club to participate in something like the attack that occurred today? It would be a violation of the agreement everyone was forced to sign upon becoming a member. And Izuku is sure he recognized some of those faces at the USJ, and he's also sure that there are a couple others who must have known about the attack before it happened, and thus failed to say anything about it. Which is also a violation.
Professionals have standards, even if they're criminals. Not saying something is the same as committing the crime yourself, at least in this situation. At least when it involves children.
Oh, he's going to have a fun time with those select few. All he has to do is go through the police's files on the villains they arrested today and connect the dots. What he's going to do to them is simple, pleasing, and nothing if not justified.
Another wave of pain wracks through him, and Izuku starts to cough up another mixture of saliva and crimson, scaring Missy to the point where she nearly scratches him in her alarm.
Fuck. He's glad that school is canceled tomorrow. He doesn't think this is going to get better by morning.
Yeah, I should've taken its quirk.
The Nomu isn't alive, but at the same time it is. It was by pure chance that he didn't end up taking it—an accident, in all honesty, but a dire mistake all the same.
And now he's paying for it.