Parental love, that's what every child longs for, right?
The loving words of your mother, your father standing behind you like a knight on a horse, and the cozy moments with the family by a crackling fireplace.
That unconditional love, love that you don't have to give anything for. Love that is so unconditional and profound that you feel like everything will be okay one day.
As a child, we think our parents are the heroes of the world, but the older we get, the more flaws we see: your father who is less of a hero than you thought, your mother who isn't always kind, and the relationship between your parents that isn't all roses and sunshine.
The day you realize your parents aren't heroes is the day you realize life isn't a fairy tale.
I believed my father was a heroic and just king, a man for the people and the magicians.
The day I realized that wasn't true was the day I learned that my father was not faithful to my mother.
Mistresses aren't taboo when it comes to kings, but seeing your father kissing another woman was not easy for an eleven-year-old to swallow. Elina Tommas, the wife of former army general Ibus Tommas, had been keeping my father's bed warm for three years.
The person who told me was my own mother.
The innocent eleven-year-old in me couldn't keep it to myself. My mother was neither surprised nor touched by the news.
I didn't understand, I didn't understand how my hero could do that.
We had a long conversation about marriage. Although my mother didn't get the dream marriage that was promised to her, she only told me the beautiful sides. My father's behavior was justified, and although I never fully accepted it, I put it aside at the time.
I believed in my heroic father again. I wish I had kept that childlike perspective and cherished it above all.
Now I know better, my father is not a hero.
I look at myself in the mirror and am shocked by what I see. I only see a fraction of who I was months ago. My eyes are sunken, my skin is pale, and my once lively gaze is now cold and lifeless.
Life has no bright spots, no roses and sunshine.
I hoped to forget about my life for a while with Elien in the garden and reading a book. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be.
I haven't left the bedroom since. I couldn't muster the courage and desire to face the darkness that can take over my life. A boring book about the history of magicians helped pass the time.
Before I can touch the doorknob, there is a soft knock on the wood.
'Your Highness,' Melissa's soft voice sounds before I slowly open the door.
She bows slightly, making me smile. Sometimes I hate that title to the bone, sometimes it reminds me of who I was.
'Am I interrupting?' she asks. I shake my head before taking a step aside to let her in. Her thin, short legs rush into the room before she stands a meter away from me. Suspiciously, I slowly close the door as I look at my nervous servant.
Her hand goes into the pocket of her dress and pulls out something, an envelope.
'A lady asked me to give this to you without talking to anyone about it.' She holds the paper in my direction, and I take it, surprised.
Only then do I see the black seal with the dragon stamp. Immediately, my heart seems to stop.
I stand stunned with the envelope in my hand, staring at Melissa.
Quickly, the woman bows again and leaves for her work.
I watch her in surprise, glance at the paper, and back at her. I recognize that seal and can't believe I have it in my hands. How this envelope got into this building without anyone seeing it is completely unclear to me.
I immediately want to open the envelope, but before I even have a chance, the door flies open again.
As quickly as my arm can move, I tuck the envelope into my cleavage, the first place I can think of.
A startled cleaner stares at me with wide eyes. The stack of bedding almost falls out of her hands as she makes a quick bow.
'Excuse me, Your Highness,' mutters the young blonde woman. She tries to turn around and leave the room before I stop her.
'No problem, I was about to leave,' I say, and her posture visibly relaxes.
To avoid further alarming the woman, I walk past her down the corridors. My black heels click on the grey stones, my dress glides over the floor. The two turns to the right and the last to the left lead me to the dining room.