I somehow forgot to mention last chapter that we'd hit 2k reads. Thank you guys so much. We also got to the highest we've ever been, we got to number 6 on #Konosuba. With that aside, enjoy.
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In a dimly lit bar, sat no more than fifty people. They crowded around a small stage, waiting for the main act to go on. Suddenly, the worn curtain raised, and (Y/N) was revealed. The crowd starting cheering as soon as he showed his face.
(Y/N): "Good fucking evening! I hope y'all are ready for the best night you've had in a long time, cause I got a rager prepped for you tonight!"
The crowd erupted again. It sounded like way more than fifty people.
(Y/N): "Alright, I need y'all to level with me now. Back where I'm from, there are some terrible, awful, disgusting people that have less than unsavory views on people who don't deserve none of it. I don't consider myself political, but I've got standards. I don't tolerate intolerance. If you see any racism, sexism, or any other kind of isms, I want y'all to clear out and point at the motherfucker. I'm not gonna have em thrown out. I'm gonna come down there, AND KICK THE SHIT OUT OF EM MYSELF! ALRIGHT?!"
This time, the crowd sounded like at least a hundred. Either more people made their way in, or the crowd was that excited.
(Y/N): "Alright you crazy fuckers, this one's called MAGGIE'S FARM!"
The crowd went into a frenzy nearly instantaneously. People were getting the hang of circle pits by now, and they'd be damned if this wasn't a time for one. This was the kind of song to make you want to rage. And that's what they did. After the song ended, (Y/N) caught his breath as he scanned the crowd. The bar was packed now, and it was only giving him more trouble trying to find someone in particular. Soon enough, he spotted Kazuma leaned against the back wall, watching the show.
(Y/N): 'He hasn't ditched me yet, good enough. I can get drunk.' "Somebody hand me some whiskey!"
Kazuma: "Dammit, there he goes again."
(Y/N) received a bottle of whiskey, and promptly drank it all.
(Y/N): "Alright fuckers, I hope you're still up for this."
The crowd voiced their opinions on the matter. It was a unanimous yes.
(Y/N): "Alright then! Let's keep this train of rage barreling on! This one's called Holier Than Thou!"
The crowd was instantly back into a pit. As (Y/N) performed the song, he watched them. He was impressed, they had latched onto the concept fairly quickly. It seemed that everyone there was in the pit.
(Timeskip)
Many songs, and many drinks later, (Y/N) was very intoxicated, and was trying to wrap up the show.
(Y/N): "I'm about to pass the fuck out, so I'll play you one more. Who here was at the first show, after the cabbage harvest?"
A few people in the crowd cheered, announcing their presence.
(Y/N): "That first show, we had a goddamn good time! I closed that show with a song that's heavy as shit. It's two words, let me hear you scream it!"
Random Adventurers: "CREEPING DEATH!"
(Y/N): "Now those of you who haven't heard this...You're in for a fucking ride! CRRRRREEEEEEPIIIINGGG! DEAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHAAAA!"
For the umpteenth time tonight, the pit started back up. Still leaned against the back wall, Kazuma watched them, still sipping on his second beer. He had wanted a little more, but decided against it. He was the designated escort, after all.
Kazuma: 'Although I'm still a suspect, I've found myself a nightly routine. In the mornings, (Y/N) and Megumin go on explosion dates-'
Mornings...
(Y/N) & Megumin: "Bakuretsu, bakuretsu, la la la~"
Back to the present...
Kazuma: '(Y/N) has been taking more and more gigs lately, trying to pay off our debt. He was going out alone at first, but Megumin won't let him anymore. One night, he didn't come home, and Megumin nearly had a heart attack. We all put on our shoes, and went out to find him. He was sleeping in the street, hugging a duck when we found him, hammered out of his mind. We don't even know where he got the duck. But now, I've been stuck with the job of babysitting my best friend. On clear, moonlit nights.'
(Y/N): "THANK YOU! GOODNIGHT!"
Kazuma: 'On dark, cloudy nights.'
(Y/N): "-YOU! GOODNIGHT!"
Kazuma: 'In dingy old venues.'
(Y/N): "-GOODNIGHT!"
Kazuma: 'In well kept new venues.'
(Y/N): "-NIGHT!"
(Y/N) stumbled towards Kazuma, giggling like an idiot.
Kazuma: "Oi, what's so funny?"
(Y/N): "Wh-what's the difference, between...a garbanzo bean, and a chickpea?"
Kazuma: "What the hell are you on about?"
(Y/N): "Just answer."
Kazuma: "*sigh* I don't know, (Y/N). What's the difference?
(Y/N): "I- ha! I wouldn't pay 100 dollars to have a garbanzo bean on my face!"
Kazuma tried to stifle his laughter, but failed.
Kazuma: "*snort* Haha! You're too much, man. Let's get home before Megumin comes looking for us."
They started to walk home. They walked all the way back to the mansion without any mishaps, but Megumin was waiting by the gate.
Megumin: "Do you have any idea how late it is?"
Kazuma: "You told me to watch over him, not give him a curfew."
She simply sighed.
Megumin: "How drunk is he now?"
Kazuma: "I'd say he's pretty drunk, but seems to be able to keep it in his stomach."
Just then, (Y/N) keeled over and puked into the grass. They watched him in disgust.
Megumin: "Well then, let's get you inside."
(Y/N): "I'm...I'm fine."
Megumin: "I'm sure you are." 'Looks like I'll be sleeping with you again tonight. Not that I mind.'
Kazuma held his face in his hands as he watched Megumin walk (Y/N) inside.
Kazuma: 'What am I doing with my life?'
(Timeskip)
(Y/N) woke after only a couple hours of sleep. It was still dark, so he could tell that much. He slowly sat up.
(Y/N): "Water...Kitchen first."
As he stood up out of bed, the weight of his bladder seemed to grow.
(Y/N): "Kitchen second then."
(Small Timeskip)
After taking care of his other needs, (Y/N) slowly walked towards the kitchen. Once there, he grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He sipped on it as he walked back to his room, sitting it on his night stand once he got back. He was about to crawl back into bed, when he noticed Megumin sleeping soundly in his bed.
(Y/N): "She must've stayed with me the way she did before. Well, I'm alright now."
He tapped her, and she stirred.
Megumin: "Mmmmm...Is it morning already?"
(Y/N): "Not yet. I'm fine now, so you can go back to your room."
Megumin: "...Oh."
Megumin audibly sighed.
(Y/N): "What's wrong?"
Megumin: ".....Do you want me to leave?"
(Y/N): "I mean...Not really. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to stay."
Megumin: "I stayed in the first place because I care about you. Why would I want to leave someone I care about?"
(Y/N) felt his heart squeeze.
(Y/N): "You're really making me wanna cuddle you right now."
Megumin lifted the sheets, and held out her arms.
Megumin: "The feeling is mutual. Come on and hug me."
(Y/N) crawled back into bed, and rolled on his side to face Megumin. Both of their faces were burning up, but they both seemed peaceful.
Megumin: "I love you."
(Y/N): "I know."
Megumin: "Just be quiet and cuddle me."
(Y/N): "Yes ma'am."
Megumin was shorter than (Y/N), so he was able to kiss the top of her head. She used his arm as a pillow, and snuggled into him. They fell asleep in each others embrace, and didn't wake until well past daylight.
(Timeskip)
The party was sitting in the guild together. Megumin and Aqua's stomachs started to growl.
Kazuma: "We're going to a dungeon tomorrow."
(Y/N): "Ooh! I've been itching to test out a new technique!"
Megumin: "No."
Kazuma: "Yes."
Megumin: "No! I can't use explosion, so I'm practically useless in a dungeon! I just become an ordinary civilian!"
Kazuma: "Remember before you joined, and you said that you'd carry our bags or whatever else?"
Megumin looked down.
Aqua: "Can't we just wait for Darkness?"
Kazuma slammed his palms on the table.
Kazuma: "Listen! We have as much debt as a small country right now!"
Aqua: "Even though I've been working so hard on my part time jobs?"
Kazuma: "Those little side jobs are barely a drop in the bucket!"
Kazuma pulled out a piece of paper and slammed it onto the table.
Aqua: "Keele's Dungeon? Wasn't this place cleared out already?"
Luna: "Well you see, another pathway has been uncovered. There was going to a large scale quest to escort the survey team..."
Kazuma: "But I asked her to let us have the first chance."
Luna: "That being said, no other adventurers know about it."
Megumin: "So there could still be treasure laying around."
Aqua: "Treasure?!"
While everyone gave Aqua a thumbs up, Dust slid his way into the conversation.
Dust: "What's this I hear about treasure?"
Kazuma wrapped his arm around Dust's shoulder, and walked him away from the table.
Kazuma: "It's a very serious matter. I don't want you to get dragged in."
Kazuma discreetly slipped Dust a coupon to a specific cafe.
Dust: "Hey, this expires tonight!"
Kazuma: "Use it well."
Dust grew a huge smile, and walked away laughing. Kazuma and (Y/N) stood at attention and saluted him.
(Y/N): "Sweet dreams, you down bad bastard!"
The girls looked at him in confusion.
Kazuma: 'This is our big chance. We can't afford to have anyone mess it up.'
Luna: "It still has the potential to be very dangerous, so be careful down there."
(Timeskip)
Aqua: "If it's for beginners, then why is it so far from town?"
Megumin was assembling a tent, Kazuma was laying down tools on a sheet, and Aqua was just there. (Y/N) had gone off into the woods with his sword and his guitar to practice a technique. He said that he wanted to surprise them, so he was practicing away from the group.
Megumin: "If we're this far from town, I can use explosion freely!"
Kazuma: "You better not. We're gonna be underground, remember?"
Megumin pointed her staff into the air.
Kazuma: "Seriously, don't."
Megumin put her staff away.
Megumin: "Long ago, this dungeon was created by the Kingdom's strongest wizard. Why do you suppose he decided to set up camp here?"
Kazuma: "I've got no clue. But it must be pretty hard to rest in peace when people are constantly rummaging through your house."
Suddenly, (Y/N) emerged from the woods with his sword and guitar. But he was missing something. His eyebrows.
(Y/N): "So I've got good news and bad news."
Kazuma and Aqua fell to the ground, dying of laughter, but Megumin ran to him.
Megumin: "What did you do?!"
(Y/N): "I burned off my eyebrows."
Megumin: "I'm aware! But how?!"
(Y/N): "With a special tool that will help us later."
Aqua was still laughing, but Kazuma had mostly recovered.
Kazuma: "Is- Is that what took you so long?"
(Y/N): "I'm also had to put out a couple small forest fires."
Kazuma: "By any chance we're you the cause of said fires?"
(Y/N): "Possibly."
And just like that, Kazuma was back to laughing. Aqua's laughter only intensified.
(Timeskip)
Kazuma and (Y/N) were descending the stairs into the dungeon. (Y/N) was holding onto Kazuma's shoulder.
Kazuma: 'With the thief skills I've learned, Lurk and Enemy Detection, nothing can sneak up on us while we're exploring the dungeon. And with the Farsight skill, I can see clearly in the dark! These are the advantages of the Adventurer class, being able to learn all skills.'
(Y/N): 'I've got Lurk and Enemy Detection, so I won't get blindsided. But I really need to learn Farsight, cause I can't see for shit!'
Aqua: "Can you two really see down here?"
Aqua was right behind them.
(Y/N): "Not worth a lick. Which is where my surprise comes in."
(Y/N) unsheathed his sword, and struck the ground hard. He managed to lodge it into the floor.
Aqua: "I mean, there was some sparks, but I don't see how this helps."
(Y/N): "Just wait. Actually, you might wanna stand back for a second. Unless you're not too fond of your eyebrows."
Aqua and Kazuma took a few steps away from the sword. (Y/N) took his guitar off of his back, and began to play a song.
(Y/N)'s intense focus brought lightning from the headstock straight to the sword. The bolts lit up the room as they connected to the sword. They coiled around the sword, and spun around around up and down the length of the blade. Once the blade was covered in lightning, (Y/N) strapped his guitar in place on his back, and grabbed the sword out of the ground.
Kazuma: "Holy shit!"
(Y/N): "You haven't even seen the coolest parts."
(Y/N) pointed the sword off into the dungeon. After a second, a bolt of lightning shot off of the tip of the blade, flying down the corridor at insane speeds.
(Y/N): "And watch this."
(Y/N) pulled an apple out of one of his jacket pockets, and tossed it straight up in the air. As it came back down, he sliced it with the sword. Two halves of an apple tumbled to the ground, both engulfed in flames.
(Y/N): "It's a fucking lightsaber!"
Kazuma: "How did you even come up with this!?"
(Y/N): "I got the idea from the team attack me and Megumin did. Just used the same principles."
Aqua: "How did you shoot it off the blade though? Don't you need your guitar for that?"
(Y/N): "My lightning is basically just my condensed mana. If I focus hard enough, I can do pretty much anything I want with it."
Kazuma: "The dungeon should be a breeze then."
(Y/N): "Hell yeah! Let's do this!"
(Y/N) raised his new lightning sword above his head, and sprinted off into the dungeon.
Kazuma: "Where the hell are you going?!"
(Y/N): "LEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEENKINNNNNNSSSS!"
As he descended further into the dungeon, his voice and the light from his sword grew quieter and dimmer.
(Timeskip)
Kazuma and Aqua were hiding. Kazuma was catching his breath, and Aqua was crying.
Kazuma: "What the hell was that?!"
Aqua: *sniffle* "A low level demon called a Gremlin. Sometimes you get weak demons in dungeons like this."
Kazuma: "So you can actually see pretty well in this darkness?"
Aqua: "As well as I can in daylight."
Kazuma: "When you said that you heard me rustling around in the stables..."
Aqua: "I never saw what you were doing. Whenever you'd start up, I'd turn my back to you and go back to sleep."
Kazuma: "......Thank you for that, lady Aqua."
Somewhere deep in the dungeon...
A flaming Gremlin fell to the floor, cleaved in two different pieces. (Y/N) flicked a lightning bolt down the corridor to see what he was dealing with. As the lightning shot through the dungeon, hundreds of Gremlins were illuminated.
(Y/N): "Yeah, I'm gonna need some music."
(Y/N) reached behind himself, and flicked the looper feature on. Music played out of the guitar.
(Y/N)'s smile only grew as the Gremlins rushed him head on. They dispersed as they got closer, and formed into a sort of reverse bottleneck of mosnters. They slowed as they came to (Y/N), and jumped at him one or two at a time. (Y/N) soon found a pattern, taking swings at them whenever they'd jump. Flaming Gremlins rested across the floor as (Y/N) gained ground on them. One jumped over his head, and all he had to do was raise his sword over his head to impale it instantly. He finished off what he thought was the last of them, and wiped his brow.
(Y/N): "These things are determined, I'll give them that."
A Gremlin that had somehow escaped (Y/N)'s rampage finally worked up enough courage to lunge at him. It came hurtling through the air towards (Y/N)'s back. But (Y/N) had Enemy Detection, so he pointed his sword behind him, and shot lightning off the blade. The Gremlin turned into a fireball quickly, and was shot down through the corridor.
(Y/N): "I am so badass right now!"
With Aqua and Kazuma...
Aqua: "Look, Kazuma! A treasure chest! We finally found something!"
Aqua started to run towards the conveniently placed treasure chest, but Kazuma stopped her.
Kazuma: "Wait! Obvious chests like that tend to be...Yep, my Enemy Detection is ringing like a bell."
Kazuma picked up a stone and threw at towards the chest. A set of sharp teeth protruded from the wall and floor around the chest, and bit down on what it thought was prey. Once it was done chewing, it spit out the chest, setting the bait for it's next victim.
Kazuma: "D-disgusting!"
Aqua: "I do remember hearing people at the guild talking about dungeon mimics. Apparently, some even disguise themselves as humans to prey on other monsters."
Kazuma: "Other monsters?! Talk about nasty!" 'It truly is survival of the fittest in this cruel world.'
Aqua: "...Is that?"
Kazuma: "Is what?"
Aqua pointed, and Kazuma followed her finger to a glowing speck in the darkness.
Kazuma: "Enemy Detection isn't picking anything up, let's go check it out."
They approached the small orange glow, and on getting closer, they realized it was the top half of a Gremlin, burning slowly.
Kazuma: "Either (Y/N) was here, or we're in deep shit. I'm hoping for the former."
Back with (Y/N)...
(Y/N): "You must be the boss, right?"
(Y/N) put his guitar on the ground, preparing for a fight. Standing in front of (Y/N) was a creature that looked like a Gremlin, except much larger. This one stood at least as tall as (Y/N). It stepped closer towards the light, illuminating it's face and body. This Megagremlin had more muscle, probably from carrying all its weight around.
(Y/N): "You're one ugly motherfucker."
This must've angered the creature, because it opened its mouth and screeched at (Y/N). The screech was so loud that (Y/N) instinctively covered his ears.
(Y/N): "Loud too. That's alright, I'm used to some noise!"
The monster hurled it's claws at (Y/N), who swiftly dodged to the right. What he wasn't expecting though, was the monster whipping around and slashing the back of his leg as he dodged.
(Y/N): "Holy hell, that burns!"
They entered into a stalemate, until (Y/N) worked up enough courage to take a strike at the monster. The monster slipped out of the way just in time. He swung again, and just missed. He repeated this process two or three more times, then the monster lunged at him again. It caught (Y/N), and buried it's fangs into his left shoulder. (Y/N) let out a yelp of pain, and fell to the ground. The Gremlin was on top of him in milliseconds.
(Y/N): 'This might actually be it for me. I'm gonna miss everyone.'
The Gremlin looked (Y/N) in the eye, and screeched again. Unfortunately for it, this gave (Y/N) enough time to reach up, and slug it in the face with his good arm.
(Y/N): "You talk too much!"
(Y/N) desperately grasped his sword, and plunged it into the monster's throat from the side, instantly running it through, while setting it's head on fire as well. It wailed and stood up, grabbing it's neck in a futile attempt to save itself. (Y/N) stood up, gripped the hilt of his sword, and kicked the monster in the back of it's leg. It was brought to it's knees, and watched though clouded vision as (Y/N) stood in front of it.
(Y/N): "You have sealed your own fate, you unholy wretch. The god of thunder may be your executioner, but not your judge. May the goddess Eris have mercy on your putrid soul."
(Y/N) swiftly swung his sword, beheading the monster. The headless corpse fell to the ground. After putting his guitar on his back again and watching the embers of it's remains burn away, (Y/N) reached down, and took one of it's teeth as a medal of honor.
(Y/N): "This'll make a pretty cool necklace. Eh, Megumin will think it's cool, I'll grab her one too."
He reached back down, and ripped another tooth from it's skull. As he was about to continue on, the adrenaline wore off, and (Y/N) finally felt the searing pain in his shoulder and leg. He now realized just how much he was bleeding. He grabbed the legs of his pants, and ripped them off at the knee. He tied them around his wounds, using them as a tourniquet. After patching himself up as best he could, he continued past the Gremlin's corpse.
???: "Is there a priest with you?"
(Y/N) quickly raised his sword towards the voice. The light from his sword illuminated a skull. But this skull had eyes.
???: "I'm sorry if I startled you. I mean you no harm."
(Y/N): "...Do you by any chance.....Scream bloody gore?"
???: "Not that I'm aware of. I am the evil wizard Keele. Long ago, I kidnapped a noble's daughter and built this dungeon."
(Y/N): "I've got a feeling there's more to that story than you're telling me."
Keele: "I suppose there is."
*Flashback*
King: "Arch Wizard Keele. For your service to the kingdom, you will be granted one request."
Keele: "My wish...is for my beloved to no longer suffer. I want to see her happy."
King: "You wretch!"
*End Flashback*
Keele: "She was married off for political reasons, you see. But the king showed her no love, and she was treated with scorn in the palace. If he had no use for her, why not let me take her away? So that's what I told him, and then I ran away with her!"
(Y/N): "So you aren't really an evil wizard. I'd say you're a pretty damn good one."
Keele: "I was! When I proposed to her, she accepted without a second thought! When we eloped, I found myself facing the entire kingdom!"
(Y/N): "Man, you're nuts. I like you Keele, I can already tell you're a good man."
Keele: "Ah, those were glorious days. By the way, that's her over there. Doesn't she have the most beautiful clavicle?"
(Y/N): "Y-yeah, she, uh, she sure does. You know I've been wondering, why did you ask if I was a priest?"
Keele: "When we were being chased by the whole kingdom, we encountered grave danger. Once there was a time when I almost lost my life. In order to keep her safe, I abandoned humanity and became a lich. Since undead aren't able to do something as surreal as commit suicide, I simply waited here, slowly decaying. But just earlier, a tremendous holy power woke me from deep slumber!"
(Y/N): "And you want to be purified, don't you? Follow your beloved into the afterlife?"
Keele: "Exactly."
(Y/N): "Well I'm no priest, but I can keep you company until one arrives."
Keele: "That would be wonderful."
(Y/N): "You know Keele, this reminds me of a song. Would you like me to play it for you?"
Keele: "Please do. It's been so long since I've heard music."
(Y/N) shot a lightning bolt towards a torch, lighting the room. Then he pointed his sword to the floor, shooting all the lightning down into the earth below. He sheathed his sword, and took his guitar off his back. Sitting in a chair across from Keele, (Y/N) began to play.
With Aqua and Kazuma...
Aqua and Kazuma were making good progress. Against their better judgment, they were following the trail of mutilated flaming Gremlins. Soon enough, they found the headless giant Gremlin. Blood covered the floor, and the Gremlin's charred skull lay feet away from the body, missing two teeth.
Kazuma: "Please be (Y/N). Please, please be (Y/N)."
Aqua: "Hey Kazuma, do you hear that?"
Kazuma put his hand to his ear, and heard the music coming from just a little deeper in the dungeon. His fear dissipated, and they walked further.
With (Y/N) and Keele...
Keele: "That was quite beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me."
(Y/N): "You're a good man, Keele. I'll play you as many songs as you need to hear."
Keele: "Wait. That holy power. It's coming closer!"
Suddenly, Aqua and Kazuma entered the room.
Keele: "Is there a priest among you?"
Kazuma and Aqua had the same reaction as (Y/N). They jumped back a couple steps, and prepared to defend themselves.
(Y/N): "So our blue deadbeat is what you felt?"
Then they realized that (Y/N) was in the chair sat next the skeleton.
Kazuma: "How long have you been here?"
(Y/N): "Long enough to know that Keele here doesn't mean any harm."
Aqua: "Keele? Who built this dungeon?"
Keele: "Precisely."
Keele told Kazuma and Aqua his story.
Keele: "That is my wife over there."
Aqua: "She seems to have passed on in peace."
Keele: "That is exactly why I have a favor to ask of you."
Kazuma: "A favor?"
Keele: "Yes. Could you purify me? This young lady is a priestess, is she not? She has the power to grant my request.
(Timeskip)
Aqua was drawing a transmutation- I mean, a purification circle.
Aqua: "Alright, everything should be ready."
Keele: "I am truly grateful. I've been sitting down here for a long time, awaiting a day such as this. And then today, a magnificent holy power snapped me out of deep sleep!c
Keele laughed, and Aqua smiled at him.
(Y/N): 'This is beautiful, yet, it's bittersweet. I haven't known him a day, but it feels like saying goodbye to an old frien. I hope to every god in the heavens that he reunites with his beloved.'
(Y/N) picked his guitar up and played one last song for Keele as he was passing on.
Aqua placed her hand over Keele, and her palm began to glow.
Aqua: "Arch Wizard Keele, who willingly forsook god's law and became a lich. In the name of the goddess Aqua, your sins are forgiven."
Kazuma: 'Who in the world is this?'
Aqua: "When you reach the afterlife, you will encounter a goddess with unnaturally sized breasts, the goddess Eris. If a difference in age, or even the trapping of man or woman does not bother you, and you may take on any form you receive, then ask her for her help. I'm sure she will help you meet your beloved again."
(Y/N) finished his song, and looked to Keele with a sad smile.
(Y/N): "Goodbye Keele. I wish you happy travels."
Aqua: "Sacred Turn Undead."
The light from Aqua's palm turned into a brilliant blue, and Keele began to fade.
Keele: 'My dear wife...I'm coming home to you soon.'
Keele was purified. As soon as he was gone, the dam burst. (Y/N) was quietly sobbing.
Kazuma: "You ok, man?"
(Y/N) wiped as many tears from his eyes as he could, and sniffled.
(Y/N): "Y-yeah. It's just...really touching."
Kazuma: "I know."
The three walked out of the room, and started to head back. On the way, they passed the headless giant Gremlin.
Aqua: "(Y/N)? Did you kill this?"
(Y/N): "Sure did."
Aqua: "(Y/N), this was a Cannibal Gremlin!"
(Y/N): "And what is that?"
Aqua: "A cannibalistic Gremlin."
Kazuma: "Who would've thought?"
Aqua: "Cannibal Gremlins are fairly high level devils! They grow larger and stronger based on how many monsters they've consumed. Based on the size, I'd say this one was always hungry."
(Y/N): "Makes sense that none of his little brothers are around."
Kazuma: "I've been thinking. That guy said that he was awoken by by a tremendous holy power. Were you the reason why we ran into so many undead?"
Aqua: "I-I don't think that's the case..."
Kazuma and (Y/N) quickly started to make distance between them and Aqua. She quickly followed after.
Aqua: "Hey, wait!"
(Y/N): "Didn't Verdia's knights come after you exclusively?"
Aqua: "Wait, don't leave me behind!"
Kazuma and (Y/N) started to walk faster.
Aqua: "You're not gonna ditch me down here!"
Aqua ran up and held on to them both.
Aqua: "You need me to fight off undead!"
(Y/N): "I've got two legs and a will to live. That's enough for me."
Aqua: "Don't leave me down here!"
Kazuma: "Then did you attract the undead or not?!"
Aqua: "Please! There are other monsters than undead down here!"
(Y/N): "How would that make me want to stay?"
Aqua: "Don't leave me behind!"
Suddenly, a loud roar aounded from behind them. They looked to see a wall of monsters rushing towards them.
Kazuma: "...Lurk."
Kazuma disappeared, and Aqua looked to (Y/N).
(Y/N): "I'd love to help, but I don't wanna. Lurk."
(Y/N) disappeared too, and Aqua became frantic.
Aqua: "Hahaha! You guys and your jokes! Now come back out and help me. Kazuma? (Y/N)? Please!"
(Timeskip)
Kazuma, Aqua, Megumin & (Y/N): "Cheers!"
Everyone was at the guild, and they were all drinking.
Megumin: "Today proves that even unlikely chances are worth taking!"
Aqua: "I did the most, so we can split the reward 9:1."
Kazuma: "You idiot! All the reward goes to our debt!"
Aqua: "But we can at least order refills right? Excuse me! Keep the drinks coming!"
(Y/N): "You know, I didn't think there'd be any reward for the Cannibal Gremlin."
Megumin: "They're quite dangerous, so they're high risk high reward. But please, don't fight another one."
(Y/N): "Aqua healed me already, so you can stop your worrying. I'll give it to him though, he took a nice chunk out of my shoulder."
Megumin: "And all I did was sit at the entrance."
(Y/N) pressed a bottle of whiskey to his lips as he watched Megumin grab a mug of beer.
Megumin: "I feel like I don't deserve it, but oh well!"
Kazuma snatched the mug from her.
Kazuma: "You're too young for that!"
Megumin: "But (Y/N) is barely older than me!"
Kazuma: "(Y/N) can kick my ass. And is well prepared to."
(Y/N): "Damn straight."
Megumin did a cute pout, but felt (Y/N) tap her leg. She looked down to see him slipping her the bottle of whiskey. He leaned over to her and whispered.
(Y/N): "I think it's fine, but don't drink too much. You're quite a handful sober, and drunk is no different."
Megumin: "I don't appreciate being called a handful."
(Y/N): "In my opinion, a handful is the perfect size for me."
(Y/N) winked as he ended his sentence, and Megumin's face nearly burst into flames. She gingerly took a sip, then passed the bottle back to (Y/N). Kazuma slid over to Luna and handed her a drink.
Kazuma: "Our success today was because of you. This drink's on me, please enjoy it."
Luna: "Uh, ok."
Dust saw the scene and misinterpreted it.
Dust: "Dude, you're paying?"
Taylor: "Woah, really?"
Kazuma: "Wait-"
Dust: "Kazuma's paying for drinks!"
Kazuma: "Screw it, DRINK UP EVERYONE!"
(Y/N) played a song from his looper to set the mood.
Random Adventurer: "Hey Kazuma, do that thing with your hand!"
Kazuma: "If you insist!"
Kazuma started his creepy hand movements. The guild was chanting.
Adventurers: "Steal! Steal! Steal!"
Kazuma: "Steal!"
Chris ran into the guild.
Chris: "So I hear Kazuma's paying for drinks-"
Kazuma stole her panties as soon as she walked in the door.
Chris: "Nooo! Give me back my panties!"
Kazuma swung them around, and the guys in the guild mimicked his movements. They all cheered.
Aqua: "Nature's Beauty! Nature's Beauty!"
Kazuma still had Chris's panties, and was riding on someone's shoulders.
(Y/N): "Steal!"
(Y/N) stole Megumin's panties.
Megumin: "(Y/N)! Give them back!"
(Y/N): "I will later. Just be glad I stole yours."
(Y/N) chugged his whiskey, and got on the shoulders of another adventurer.
(Y/N): "Oi Kazuma!"
Kazuma looked to see a very red Megumin and (Y/N) riding the shoulders of an adventurer, lacy black panties on his head.
(Y/N): "Get over here! Let's chicken fight!"
Kazuma put Chris's panties on his head.
Kazuma: "Let's fucking do this!"
Aqua was making fountains, Kazuma, (Y/N), and two other adventurers were chicken fighting while others cheered them on, Yunyun and Megumin were having a drinking contest, and everyone was having fun.
Kazuma: 'I'm still a suspect, and this doesn't do anything to help my debt, but....It's really fun! I finally feel like an adventurer!'
(Timeskip)
Kazuma was holding Aqua's hair back as she puked rainbows outside of the guild.
Kazuma: 'I can't keep doing this!'
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So that's another chapter down. A few things have happened to me since the last chapter, such as the vinyl collection growing. I bought 2112 by Rush, brought it home, and the record was warped. I took it back, and they wouldn't give me my money back, they could only give store credit. So I ended up getting Metallica's Black Album on marbled grey vinyl. Then today, I went to Barnes and Noble to see what they had. They had Lateralus on two full color picture discs, but it was too expensive, so I ended up getting Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Fun fact about the song in the beginning: It's off of the very first cd I ever purchased on my own, Superunknown. I got it for five bucks at walmart, for the 20th anniversary in 2014. And about the story, I hope the whole Cannibal Gremlin thing wasn't too cringe, I kinda pulled that one out of my ass. Eh, this is way too long now, so I'll leave you with some daily wisdom. Good friends will go out and do things with you. True friends will sit in a discord call with you for five hours watching Russian car crashes. I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you in the next chapter.