"Kakashi-senpai?" Yamato halted and lowered his hand.
"The switch?"
"What?" His heart pounded heavily in his chest. What the hell was Kakashi doing there? Did he come in through the window again?
"The light switch, where is it?" Kakashi said, dragging his feet towards him — socks on only by the sounds of it. "Is it here?"
"Right here." Yamato moved forward. "It's ok, I'll get it."
Yamato patted the wall vaguely where the switch should be, but instead of touching it, his fingertips met Kakashi's hand as he was about to turn on the lights. Shit... blood rushed to his cheeks, as if the surprise of his senpai creeping into his apartment again wasn't enough. Considering everything that they had already done, hands touching shouldn't cause that much of a reaction, but it did, no matter how subtle it brushed over Kakashi's skin.
Neither of them moved, nor did the lights come on. They stood in the dark, long enough for Yamato to be sure the drumming of his heart was either being heard outside his chest or felt through the tips of his fingers.
"Your hand's cold," Kakashi said, turning up his palm and closing Yamato's fingers into his hand.
"I was outside just now."
The switch seemed completely forgotten. There was a long pause where their hands remained as they were, a moment that would've otherwise been undeniably awkward had those lights been on. Yamato didn't need this, he didn't deserve this headache, not tonight.
"So...," he said, his cold fingers robbing Kakashi's hand of its warmth. "What can I help you with, senpai?" He tried to be professional with the man that had, yet again, broken into his apartment in the middle of the night. "Surely you didn't come all the way here to check the temperature of my fingertips."
To think he had been mopping only minutes ago about not spending time with him before the wedding, reminiscing about the nights the had together and how sad everything in his life appeared to me. And now... he couldn't make up his mind if he wanted him gone or if he should kiss him. Amidst the chaos in his mind, he tried hard to sound cool about this whole hand-on-hand situation while his heart raced faster that his mind could foresee all that the possibilities if Kakashi-senpai decided to linger.
"I'd like your opinion on something."
"My opinion?" Yamato hoped that was just that, one question about one thing and then he would be on his way. He didn't even know why he wanted him gone so fast, maybe he didn't trust himself to remain honest about not letting this go further until that talk too place. Judging by Kakashi's tone, however, he was there to ask him to do some last minute task he couldn't be bothered doing by himself. Damn it. What about his need for sulking in peace? He didn't want to do that next to the one person responsible for making he feel sulky, or worse... if he ended up not sulking at all. Kakashi had that thing about him, this charm Yamato could never resist. The truth was that he would rather have this, this uncertain moment and whatever consequences came from it,... he would take it over being alone without him.
Kakashi's thumb rubbed his fingers gently. "Do you have the time?"
"I was about to go out."
"What for?"
To try and stop thinking about you in this place. "Fresh air."
"Where were you going?"
"I didn't have time to decide because you broke in."
"The window was open."
"Open windows aren't invitations to come in, senpai."
"Aren't they?"
"No, but I wouldn't expect you to understand, considering you come in even when they're shut."
Kakashi didn't reply, instead he pulled Yamato's hand towards him while taking a small step forward. Yamato's body stiffened. Logic told him to pulled the hand back, to tell Kakashi he was too busy that night, he had no time. Go out, freeze in the cold, be sad, just indulge in it for a little bit, get his mind right. It'd be better to be sad and alone than feel so confused, so tempted... he wanted to believe, anyway.
He opened his eyes. The corridor was dark, but he saw Kakashi's silhouette as light bounced into the living room from outside. He was close, and then closer as he stepped in yet again, bringing Yamato's hand to his lips. His warm breath ghosted over his fingers. Kakashi's mask was down — how unusual.
"Senpai?"
"Mm?"
If the lights were on and he could see him, maybe Yamato wouldn't be so bold, but in the dark, his face so close to touch, he stretched a cold finger and brushed it over Kakashi's cheek. His skin was warm, probably warmer than his own cheek he knew to be red. If he had been outside, why was he so warm in such a chilly night?
"Did you run here?"
Kakashi took yet another step forward. "To make sure I caught you awake."
"The lights were off."
So he didn't really care if he had to wake him up at all. Did he want to see him that badly? This had nothing to do with work, or at least work was now the excuse for them to see each other. They were so close, Yamato felt the heat coming off his senpai's body. The urge to kiss him flooded his mind. He wanted to do it, Kakashi wanted him to do it too, otherwise he wouldn't keep getting close. Why didn't he do it then? Yamato could blame him then... take the weight of responsibility ff his back for once. Was Kakashi still fixated on not taking the initiative? That didn't seem to bother him the night before, though.
Yamato narrowed the gap even further and slowly pulled back his hand. "I'm awake,' he said, the tip of his nose bumped lightly against Kakashi's. All he had to do was tilt his head, that's all, then their lips would meet. It felt like an eternity since they kissed, even though it had only been 48 hours or less. For a relationship like theirs, where time was so short and passed so fast, two days felt like forever.
As much as his body ached for this, his heart raced for this, Yamato leaned back and slipped both of his freezing hands behind Kakashi's very warm neck, drawing what was almost a yelp out of his senpai.
"Tenzō!" Kakashi moved back a couple of steps.
Yamato laughed, forcing himself to lift that tension between them, and reached for the switch to finally bring some light into the corridor. Kakashi had his shoulders raised so high, his neck had disappeared. He shook his head after he finally relaxed from the shock and stared back at Yamato, his lips curved in a little smile.
"Sorry, senpai," he said, still laughing. "It was either that or a cold shower. This seemed more practical."
"A cold shower would've been less of a shock."
"It's a long night, so I'll keep that in mind for next time," Yamato said with a chuckle as he took off his shoes. "What is that you wanted again?"
"We are short of look outs tomorrow during the wedding."
"I thought you wanted me to attend the wedding."
Kakashi turned his back at him, heading to the living room as he fiddled with something in his back pocket. "It's not what I meant, I just need to sit down and go over this with your fresh eyes," he said, turning on the living room lights.
"Something wrong with your eyes?"
"No."
So his assumption was correct, Kakashi was there to see him with work he was more than capable of doing himself. "I should have phrased that question better," Yamato said, not as upset by the visit as he wanted or tried to be.
Kakashi pushed the books, the ninja pouch and a couple of scrolls that laid on the table aside before he spread open a large map of Konoha. His eyes turned to the scrolls as Yamato approached. "These aren't reports, are they?" He held one up.
"Not yet," Yamato said, taking it off his senpai's hand and setting it down on the table again.
"I might start charging for scrolls to keep you from overusing them."
"That won't stop me, senpai, I get paid quite well. I'm more than happy to spend a few extra ryō for that."
"Always enthusiastic about writing mission reports."
"Out of necessity. Your reports were always lacking something."
"I never had any complaints from any Hokage, you on the other hand..."
"What do you mean, senpai? You're the only Hokage who ever complained about them."
"Also the only one who reads them all."
"You don't always read them," Tenzō said, matter-of-factly.
"I do."
"You read all my reports?"
"Every single one. Even the ones you ramble on."
Yamato brows gathered. "I just try to be thorough.'
"You ramble."
"Then why do you read them?"
"Because...," Kakashi looked down at the map, "you drop hints here and there of how you are doing in your writing. I know if you're ok or not."
Whenever he thought Kakashi couldn't care less, he always said something that surprised him. Always cared more than he let on, always thought deeper than most people did but put on an aloof front. When Yamato question him about his persistent use of 'Tenzō', he was more attached to the code name than Yamato was himself, just because he remembered how the name made Yamato smile as a child. Kakashi expressed himself in different way. That conversation he wanted so much, wasn't as important as he thought... it was just a necessity for him, someone who needed information upfront, who liked concrete answers rather than 'what ifs'. Kakashi didn't need that, maybe he didn't even know how to be someone who talked like that... and maybe that was ok too.
"Would you like me to add a summary to the report?"
"You already do."
"I could add a summary of the summary."
Kakashi looked at him. "More words, more work. I would appreciate less of both."
"Only more if you read the whole thing, but if you read just the summary—"
"If it comes from you, I'll read everything." Kakashi turned back to the map and pulled a chair to seat down. "So, just regular reports, just like you do now. I get through them eventually."
"I can always add more about how I'm doing."
"I wouldn't mind, but they are official documents. I'd rather you told me in person."
Yamato held back a smile. "Then I'll make the effort of reporting as such."
"Good. You know, I'm the Hokage so you have to do what I say."
"You've been telling me what to do since before you were Hokage."
"Hm, I suppose. Then one more thing...," Kakashi said before pointing at Konoha's main gate on the map. "If I keep two guard here, and another two outside, as usual, then we will end up with one here. None there." He pointed at another part off the map. "And one here, and here. I don't like leaving any of these areas with one only. They shouldn't be working alone in the first place."
That little exchange seemed to feed Yamato with whatever he was needing. He felt more energised than he did the whole day. The smile was subtle, but undeniable. He looked at the map, and without Kakashi needing to explain further, he understood how the night was going to be spent, shuffling Jōnin and ANBU around, trying to come up with a solution to the security issues Kakashi was having due to lack of manpower.
***
Another cup of tea, another cup of coffee, a snack here and there. Tenzō had filled the cupboards with something, at least, whether he had any real food in them, Kakashi still had to find out.
The already late evening turned into very late night as they went over things again and again, without finding a solution. Since they couldn't just make more people to guard the village tomorrow, somewhere would be undermanned, much to Kakashi's dislike. He ran his finger through his hair as Tenzō paced up and down, sipped from his coffee, pointing more issues he hadn't even considered. Why did Kakashi think asking him for help would be easy? The guy was a perfectionist after all, what did he expect?
Kakashi held the back of his hand in front of his mouth to hide a second consecutive yawn. They were coming faster now, it didn't help that they kept bouncing yawns from each other. Tenzō had his turn too, as he reached for Kakashi's empty tea cup.
"This will have to do, Kakashi-senpai," Tenzō said, gesturing the cup to him as if to ask if he wanted another. Kakashi simply shook his head.
"The Elders will give me shit for this."
Tenzō took his and Kakashi's cup to the kitchen. "I can back them up with clones—"
"You're off tomorrow." He followed Tenzō with his eyes, peeking over his hunched shoulder as he rested his elbows on the table.
"I know you want me to be off, and I do want to have a day off, but if having clones in those places brings you piece and keeps the Elders off your back...," he walked back to the table and looked at the map, "... then I don't mind." He placed a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.
The touch Kakashi looked forward to all day, even if the meaning behind that touch wasn't the same as those soothing intimate ones Tenzō had given him before. Kakashi still closed his eyes, tilted his head to the side in hope Tenzō noticed how much he longed for his hands.
"I think you need a day off more than I do." He squeezed him again.
That stiffness had been there for a long time, intensified by the wedding and the added pressure that came with overthinking everything since Tenzō confessed to him. Yet, being close, being touched, calmed him, as if Tenzō could power down his guard. Kakashi wanted more, he needed those touches to unravel him and the quiet moan he let out couldn't have been more inviting. If Tenzō didn't pick up on it meant he didn't want to, and not because Kakashi hadn't made it clear enough.
"Is this because you haven't slept well?" Tenzō said. He moved to the back of his chair and grabbed both shoulders tightly.
"What is?" Kakashi dropped his head forward, shamelessly pretending he hadn't been the one who silently begged for this.
"This tension." He pressed the thumbs harder, massaging the neglected knots.
"Part of the job," Kakashi said lightheartedly, but only after another moan.
"The most important man in the village doesn't have masseuse to help him deal with his stress?"
"One of the many things I'm being denied."
Tenzō chuckled as he moved his thumbs up Kakashi's neck. "I almost feel bad for you, senpai."
"Almost? You don't feel even a little bad for me?"
"Nah, not a bit," Tenzō said, burying his fingers firmly and slowly into the silver strands at the back of his head, his thumbs rolled in circles over the nape.
Another moan. He just couldn't help it. Kakashi leaned forward, folding an arm on the table and resting his forehead on them, while the other fell to his side. The position was uncomfortable, saved by the lenitive touch. Besides, Kakashi was physically tired, mentally exhausted. All his waking hours that day were spent thinking about Tenzō, and now he was there, making him feel good like he always did.
"Tenzō..."
"Senpai?"
Whenever that pause came, whenever the turn to talk was his again, Kakashi struggled. He wanted to tell him so many things, but what could he say first, what words should he use? Could he be direct? But if so, how? His stomach churned whenever his lips barely parted to voice a thought, a feeling. It was upsetting. Tenzō's personal space was Kakashi's only safe place. If there was anywhere he could let go of whatever fear he was holding, that was it. So what if he rejected Tenzō the day before? He was still there, he was still giving him a chance. Every single moment he didn't tell Kakashi to go fuck himself was him giving Kakashi another chance. He was so aware of that and he wanted to just let it all out,... let the thoughts pour from his mind, form words, even if they made no sense, they would still me more than silence. But when Tenzō said senpai, he always froze, said something else that didn't matter, and the chance was gone.
"Senpai...?" Tenzō said again.
Kakashi felt Tenzō's weight on him as he leaned over, still massaging the back of his neck, some of his fingers dug into his hair. Kakashi inhaled deeply, losing hope that any words would come, not from him anyway... and Tenzō, well... he already said everything he had to say the other night.
"You need to stop saying my name like that," Tenzō said, breathing close to Kakashi's ear. "I think you'll follow it with something important, but you don't. Then I leave, or you leave... can't let you get away with it."
The little hairs on Kakashi's neck stood on end, he even felt goosebumps on his arms. Tenzō was soft — most of the time — gentle, kind... everything Kakashi didn't think himself to be, but he had another side. The side who was assured, shameless and bold, enough to tug down his mask, pull down his trousers, bite him, touch him, watch him come. Kakashi liked that more the he cared to admit. When Tenzō got tired of his crap and did what he thought had to be done, took the lead. Kakashi couldn't deny the many times he had forced himself to do things he had to do out of duty — as an ANBU, as a teacher, as Hokage. But Tenzō, when he decided on something, he just did it,... and when he decided he wanted Kakashi, he had him. So if Tenzō told him he wouldn't be getting way with it, he wouldn't.
"I like saying your name," Kakashi said instead, not even close to anything he really meant to say, or that Tenzō wanted to hear. "Maybe you should say my name sometimes, too."
"Hm... is that a kink, senpai?" Tenzō's lips ghosted over the shell of his ear.
Kakashi held back a gasp. His lips still parted and he tried to inhale quietly so his voice came out weak. "No." Not yet, at least.
"If I say just... Kakashi?"
It wasn't exactly kinky, but sure was unusually arousing. He liked being called senpai, despite having asked Tenzō to drop it many times, which he never did... now hearing him call his name, almost whispering, without honourifics,... was undeniably seductive. But no matter how close Tenzō was, and how he seemed to be having fun teasing him, Kakashi was expecting the moment he pulled back and told him to go home. It wouldn't surprise him if all of this was to get back at him.
"Am I turning you on," Tenzō said and pressed his lips behind Kakashi's ear.
"You can't blame me, I've done nothing but sit here." Kakashi's voice was muffled, his mouth pressed into his arm as a shiver went down his spine.
"You say that, but you make my life so difficult, Kakashi."
It was the way Tenzō said it — dragging the letters of his name quietly under his breath — that worked undeniably well on him. It was just his name, and not even a good one at that. Tenzō's hands return to his shoulders and his lips traced the side of Kakashi's neck. Whatever he wanted to tell him had to wait a little longer, with the way Tenzō touched him, all he could focus on was the growing feeling in his crotch. Another chance to express himself in words, missed, but Kakashi was more than happy to leave that behind for now, to be taken instead, and to let that need they both clearly had for each other's body to transcend.
"I don't mean to." Kakashi turned his head to the side and closed his eyes. He knew Tenzō could see the warmth in his cheeks under the living room's bright lights, despite the mess he made of his hair that fell over his face.
"No?" Tenzō nibbled his earlobe. "I don't believe you. I think you do. I think you take pleasure in confusing me."
"You've said that before when you're drunk then asked me to forget it."
The other's lips parted again, but instead of biting him, he ran his tongue along his jawline.
Kakashi gasped quietly. "Tenzō..."
"Tell me what you want from me, because I wanted to be alone tonight. I needed time for myself, to think... but you... You always show up in this apartment, asking me things I can't refuse, needing what I can't deny, making sounds I can't resist... you let me touch you, but you never tell me what you really want."
What did he want? How deep was he meant to take what Tenzō just said? He wanted so many things but no pressure could force words out of him. If he hadn't been so hot, if Tenzō hadn't been trying to arouse him, he would have kept quiet, but his body was doing the thinking now, and he wanted more of that, more of what the other had in mind.
"Surprise me."
And Tenzō did. He kissed the side of Kakashi's lips before spinning the chair around, not giving Kakashi time to adjust himself. He lifted his head and grabbed the arms of the chair, opening his eyes, startled. Down between his legs, he saw his arousal, stiff as a board inside his trousers, one that couldn't go unnoticed. Tenzō had one of his own too, right at Kakashi's eye level, albeit, not as ready as his own.
"That shower would fit this moment quite well, don't you think?" Tenzō said and held out a hand.
Kakashi looked at it. He didn't want a cold shower though, but he agreed to let Tenzō choose and if that was his choice, then Kakashi will keep his word. After all, he didn't deserve anything else from Tenzō. Fuck... he didn't deserve anything from the star of this thing they had. But even if it wasn't the comfort of his bed, their time together was coming to an end and Kakashi just wanted to be with him, next to him, to be touched by him...
Maybe... maybe if he told him. "Tenzō, I—"
"Take the hand, Kakashi."
It sounded like an order, and he was used to those, but still, he hesitated. If he took that hand it was all over, wasn't it? The cold shower, the end of his visit, of that night, one Kakashi wished lingered until morning, until he woke up next to him. He needed more time, more opportunities to try and express all this... thing... this pain inside him.
"Please." Tenzō stretched his hand towards the arm of the chair Kakashi held onto tightly. "Meet me half way?"
The uncertainty of what would happen next. If Tenzō changed his mind like Kakashi did last night, when he had the intention of sleeping, and instead went down on him. Instead of a cold shower, Tenzō could very well lead him to the door, kick him out.
In the end, he placed his hand on top of Tenzō's. Both of them were rough, callous hands, but the way they touch couldn't have been softer. Tenzō's fingers closed around Kakashi's, with a gentle tug, he turned his back and led him to the bathroom. He opened the door to the shower, turn the tap on, but not the cold one as Kakashi expected.
The steam flooded the room and took over their surroundings while they stared at each other. The night hadn't ended and he was about to smile when Tenzō reached down and lifted the rim of Kakashi's shirt. Tenzō was stripping him again, but this time, Kakashi was ready to let every piece of clothing go, even the tight top with the mask. He put up his arms to allow Tenzō to remove it all and went straight for his shirt too, dropping them on the floor.
The water hit hard against the tiles, loud enough that Kakashi saw no reason to speak. Tenzō didn't either but his lips were parted, his chest moved quickly with every breath. Before Kakashi could reach out and strip Tenzō's off his trousers, the other ran his hands down Kakashi's chest, exploring like he did that time on the sofa. Slower, taking all in... the lines between Kakashi's lean muscles, the marks and scars that covered his skin, left by a life of injuries. No matter how many of those he had, they never bothered him, not even the one over his eye. There was one, though,... one he wished gone, the large x-shaped over his chest, the very scar Tenzō's fingertips decided to focus on.
That scar was a farewell gift from Obito, of all people. It carried hate from the person Kakashi failed. The two of them had talked about the war before, but not enough, not so much for Tenzō to understand what that scar meant. He had completely ignored it when they were intimate before, his hands passed over it as if it didn't exist, until now. Tenzō's eyebrows furrowed as he ran over it with the tips of his fingers. Kakashi knew, without the need for words, how the other felt and it pained him.
"Tenzō..." Kakashi said, the tightness in his chest in his voice. Seeing the person he cared the most hurt for him instead of because of him was harder to look at than he could have ever imagined.
But the other shook his head as if trying to shake off whatever he was thinking too. Maybe that wasn't the time. His hands abandoned the scar to tug Kakashi's trousers down with urgency, forcing Kakashi to step off them. "How many times are you going to say my name alone?" He said, even though he was the one who stopped him.
"As many as I need before I know what to say next."
"You don't need to, senpai."
"Senpai?... What about Kakashi."
"Kakashi-senpai...?" Tenzō said and smiled.
Why so cute? Kakashi's heart couldn't handle it. That smile disarmed him, evey time. At that moment, he couldn't find anything he wanted more than to wake up to it every morning,... or one, one morning if life only gave him that. He had to hold back calling out his name again, another attempt to tell him what he had to but couldn't. Next time. He cupped Tenzō's face and pressed their lips together.
It lingered, but only softly. When Kakashi was drunk in the tree house, he stole Tenzō's first kiss. Shocked him, even. Back then he did what his drunken mind told him to, acted on impulse. Tenzō didn't return it, he froze, told Kakashi never to surprise him like that again, so Kakashi never did. He let Tenzō decide when things had to happen and how. If he hadn't followed that rule, he would've kissed him the moment he saw him back in Konoha, and every single time they met each other after that. He still didn't know if it was okay to just go for it, but he did anyway, and as soon as he realised he was kissing him deeper, pulling him closer, he stopped.
They stared at each other for a while again. Kakashi's hands drifted away from his neck to the collarbone, slowly down his shoulders and arms, touching his scars, trying to explore like Tenzō enjoyed doing to him. He didn't do that enough, never had. He had never wanted to understand someone else intimately like this, the nuances of their bodies, the feeling of their skin against his palms. Other people's bodies were just vessels that could bring pain or pleasure and that was it. But not that one, he wanted to get to know everything about the body that carried the person Tenzō was.
"I'm having you...," Tenzō said.
Kakashi raised his head and looked at him, realising he had been staring at his body, and touching him a lot before that announcement. Just like that time, when Tenzō said he would kiss him, and he did, just better. Everything Kakashi did, Tenzō went and did a better version of it. Their first kiss was shallow, sudden, verging on soulless... the second one, the one Tenzō also announced, made Kakashi notice that he had needed him for a very long time.
He pressed against Kakashi's body, pushing him against the cold bathroom wall. A hand held him by the back of the neck, the other grasped tightly to his hips, and he kissed him. Kakashi's hand touched Tenzō's stomach before slid inside his trousers, enough for them to drop on the floor. Without unlocking their lips, Tenzō stepped out of the trousers and kicked them to the side. With their warm naked bodies pressed together, Tenzō took his mouth in an even deeper kiss.
Their lips only parted when Kakashi had to gasp for air. He stared half-lidded to see Tenzō whispered something he couldn't hear. Maybe it was the loud sound of water, or maybe Kakashi's mind was hazy, busy with thoughts of the other inside him. Tenzō guided him into shower by the back of the neck and leaned in again, kissed his chin, his throat, the side of his neck. Kakashi's heart drummed in his chest, his eyes closed as the warm water ran down the length of his hair, his face. He wrapped his arms around Tenzō's wet body, rolling his hips, wanting to feel every inch of him.
***
The warmth of the shower had nothing on how hot Yamato's body was. He had no idea what he was doing despite having daydreamed, practiced, fantasised about it, and because he had touched Kakashi before, felt his body in his hand, his mouth down on him, he thought being fully naked, in the shower, kissing his neck, feeling his hardon rubbing against his own, that his nerves would be in check. Yet, his heart raced so fast it was hard to breathe.
It was bittersweet, that moment. Yamato wanted badly to resist him that night, but at the same time, he was glad he couldn't. That talk he decided was important about their unconventional relationship would probably never happen, and he was ok with it. Yet, not quite the case. Hearing Kakashi say that he needed him, that he wanted to be with him, that they were together, each other's lovers, that they were serious, was still something Yamato desperately wanted to hear, no matter how many times he told himself he was ok with leaving things as they were. So having his senpai that way, going back on his self-made rule, compromising his ideal for pleasure? What kind of man did that make him?
Kakashi moaned again. Yamato had given him a bite, maybe a little harder than intended.
"Sorry...," he said and kissed over the mark he had just made, grinding a thigh between Kakashi's legs to purposely draw another moan out of him.
His kisses followed the water that streamed down Kakashi's chest. It was so much better to touch his senpai now that they weren't cramped on a sofa, that they had space. This time around, Kakashi was completely naked and Yamato didn't have to struggle with anything but the painful arousal between his legs, even if it was free to do what it pleased.
Yamato glanced up at Kakashi as his lips brushed over his nipple, allowing his tongue to play with it. Kakashi's eyes closed, his head turned to the side to avoid the water, but his silver hair was already completely wet. It looked longer, almost down to his chin, and the face under it all — his senpai's face, softened. Yamato would watch him like this for hours if he could. Stoic and reserved with most people, but not so much with Yamato. Kakashi was always nicer, touchy-feeler, more talkative with him. Others didn't get to see this side — soft, sweet even. Yamato secretly liked that he got more of Kakashi than them, all the sides of him people in his life probably didn't know existed.
He leaned in, closing his teeth around the nipple. It was gentle but enough for Kakashi to feel a pinch, enough for him to make those sounds Yamato enjoyed hearing. Kakashi buried his fingers into Yamato's hair, leaned back against the tiled wall as he continued to kiss his body. Down the middle of his chest, over the scar, past the navel. Yamato got lower and lower, until Kakashi tangled his finger around his strands.
"Are you sure?" He said, eyes barely open.
Maybe Kakashi underestimated how horny Yamato was after having ignored sex all his life, a physical connection he hardly thought necessary to have with another person. But after Kakashi started this thing they had, Yamato sometimes surprised himself at the lengths he was willing to go to get the other to melt under his touches. No part of that body he didn't crave, and after Kakashi went down on him, now that he knew how it felt, Yamato desperately wanted to have his senpai's knees buckling in pleasure because of him.
In spite of the discomfort of the tiled floor, Yamato got to his knees. He looked up at his senpai, the view even more intoxicating than before. Kakashi let go of his hair, traced Yamato's jawline, hooked a finger under his chin and lifted. He ran a thumb along the length of Yamato's lips, he parted them to lick it.
"You've never done this?" He said, sliding the thumb inside Yamato's mouth, forcing him to open it wider, gliding the pad over his teeth.
It was strange, and he had no idea why Kakashi was doing that, but he could feel blood shooting to his crotch, his length getting even harder the more his senpai played with his tongue. The corner of his lip's curved in a smile as he shook his head, taking hungrily the other finger Kakashi's forced in. No, he never had someone's dick in his mouth before, and that idea might had shocked him in the past, but now, kneeling in front of Kakashi's arousal, licking his fingers, he had no problem in taking all of him.
"Be careful with your teeth." Kakashi wrapped the other hand around his cock and held it to Yamato's lips, letting go of his chin.
Yamato continued to smile as he poked out his tongue to lick his shaft and he held Kakashi's wrists to stop him for touching himself. He had no business doing anything with his own dick, it was Yamato's turn.
"Worried?" he said, taking the head inside his mouth.
Kakashi's eyes narrowed further, he might as well had shut it, Yamato assumed the show he was putting was too much for his senpai to miss, even if he could barely see. He watched, he moaned — too quietly for Yamato to hear, but his parted lips gave him away.
"You're bitey."
Apparently he was, he did leave marks on his senpai before. They were still there too, lightly faded now, not really resembling bites at all, but they both knew what they were. It was Kakashi who had way sharper teeth though — if they were to compare — but maybe he had more experience in that area because he had no complains about the way his senpai did things to him.
As Yamato allowed Kakashi into his mouth, sucking him the deeper he took him, pressing for those quiet moans to grow louder, he realised he'd never considered how it would feel to be on that end. He thought a lot about how Kakashi would feel, how he would groan and lose himself because of how good he was, and Yamato would be able to watch him unveil. It was never about the one sucking,... oh, but he was so wrong. Even if the water washed their bodies, Yamato could taste him in his tongue, and the more he did, the more he wanted, the harder his own length got.
His hands traced the side of Kakashi's legs, one held at the base of his cock — to suck him better — the other slid to the back of his knee, trailed up the thigh to grasp his rear. Groping it felt bolder than have his dick in his mouth somehow. His fast beating heart even froze for a split second. There were so many things he wished to do to that ass, perverted thoughts he never had before flooded his mind. It was difficult to hold back when he had access to all those new parts of Kakashi's body he had never touched, but had wanted to for a while now, and even did in his mind, jerked off to those images he created. He tightened the grip on his cheek, pulling him closer, deeper down his throat. Kakashi moaned louder, leaning further against the wall as his knees almost gave out.
That's what Yamato craved, to have control of his senpai's body for a moment, so Kakashi could let go of all his overthinking, to forget the guilt he carried, so he understood that he had always had a place to lose himself, and that this place was Yamato. Somewhere he never needed to hide anything, especially not from himself.
"Tenzō..." Kakashi pleaded, as Yamato pulled back, only his lips ghosting over the head.
"Are you gonna come, Kakashi?" Yamato tease the slit with the tip of his tongue.
Kakashi thrusted towards his mouth without voicing an answer, but the meaning was implied. That tilted head, staring down at him as the water forced most of his silver hair to one side. Yamato could see past the strands to catch those dark narrow eyes, still trying so hard to remain open. His lips wet, slightly parted as droplets formed and streamed down his face, going around the scar, the spot on his chin. Yamato felt out of breath... Kakashi was so beautiful, so enticing, even if he was probably just trying not to lose total control of himself.
Those efforts were pointless though. The more Kakashi tried to hold onto something, the more Yamato would do what it took to have his senpai lose his grip. Eventually, he'd realise it himself and let go. Slowly, Yamato took him into his mouth again, slipping a couple of daring fingers between his cheeks, rubbing firmly at first, waiting for another one of those loud cries. But Kakashi simply closed his eyes, moved his hips and inhale deeply.
That wasn't enough then. Yamato slipped a finger inside him, then another. Kakashi tensed around them before he sank down, forced by his weakened knees. He placed a hand on Yamato's shoulder as he sucked him faster, taking his deeper than he thought he could. He wanted his senpai to come in his mouth but Yamato himself was aching hard, he would be the one to come first if that continued, and he had other plans. He licked the length one last time before standing up, pulling his fingers off him.
"Kakashi," Yamato said, going straight for his neck, licking him all the way to his ear, biting him as gentle as his urges allowed him, grinding his aching arousal against his senpai's. He wanted him, he wanted so badly to be inside him. "Turn around."
Kakashi opened his eyes and cupped his face, bringing for a desperate kiss. It was as if he wanted to taste himself in Yamato's mouth, another gesture Yamato didn't understand but aroused him even more. The water poured over them, but they didn't care. They explored each other's mouth, so thirsty for one another as if they had been apart for months. Kakashi buried his fingers into Yamato's hair, while he slid his hands to his senpai's ass again, groping tightly as they pressed there bodies together.
"Turn around," Yamato said again against his lips, ordered even, but Kakashi still didn't. "Why are you being reluctant?" Yamato nibbled his chin and gave Kakashi no chance to reply as he slipped a digit inside him before he could utter a word. His lips parted but all that came out was a suppressed moan. "Let me..."
Yamato wasn't exactly sure what he was about to do, an Kakashi knew and maybe worried. But Yamato reached for the small tube of lube next to his shampoo — he was sure of that. What could he say, though? He played with himself sometimes and there was no better and more discreet place to keep it than in the shower.
Kakashi looked at the lube in his hand. "How far ahead did you plan all this?"
"I didn't, not really, but if we were in bed I would have to come all the way here to pick this up so..." He pressed a second finger in. "One last time," before he lost his mind, "turn around, Kakashi."
His senpai kissed him again, panting as he finally did as he was told. Yamato watched the water hitting the back of Kakashi's neck and run down his spine to his rear. That pale skin, pink from the heat of the shower and their foreplay. He squirted some of the lube between Kakashi's cheeks and let it run, easing the way for his fingers to slide in and out.
The urging moans coming from Kakashi were driving him crazy, his hardon dripping over his ass as he rubbed the head so close to where his fingers were. He looked down at his dick. Maybe his senpai could take him... but no matter if his fingers stretched him, he was so much bigger than that and all he could do was to be gentle if they were going any further. There was nothing he wanted more, Kakashi would have to tell him a clear no to stop him now. He slathered his cock with lube, pulled his fingers out and spread his senpai, teasing the head against his hole before pushing inside him.
How to begin to express what that felt like? Yamato instantly regretted having ignored sex. Having dreams, being aroused, beating off, those were necessities, but not sex. Why?... Why didn't anyone tell him the truth? It surprised him how some people were so into this that they talked about it and did it all the time. He even thought Kakashi-senpai a pervert for reading Jiraya-sama's novels,... and the author himself was the worst, for sure. How could anyone in the right mind take time away from their duties to fuck? Well, now he understood. He would never know if the thoughts and feelings rushing through him were because of sex alone, or because the sex was with Kakashi. His body felt so good, wet, hot, so tight around him he had to grab him by the hips to go deeper.
Kakashi tried so hard not to groan as Yamato pressed in, muffling his noises in the arm he had over his face against the wall. But Yamato didn't care about holding anything back, he moaned and groan as the need for them came to his lips.
"Senpai," He said, panting loudly. He was all inside him, just waiting for his senpai to be stretched enough so he could thrust. "I wanna hear you." He wrapped his hands around his body, leaning over to kiss the back of his neck, biting and urging him to surrender.
It wasn't easy. Yamato knew that even if Kakashi submitted to him, this was him not letting go, keeping control of his feelings like he always did. A lot of the doubt and insecurities Yamato had about this thing they had, this physical and emotional tension, this love that they couldn't face, was mostly due to Kakashi clinging to the dark pit he lived in alone, where he might never reach. Yamato rolled his hips, holding tightly to his senpai until Kakashi stopped resisting and voiced just how lost he really was in the moment they were sharing. He arched his back, allowing Yamato to take him deeper as he reached between his legs to stroked himself. Yamato straightened up, dug into his hips and did just that, thrusted deep and fast.
The moment he thought he wouldn't last, Kakashi beat him to it once again, tensing tightly around his cock, pushing away from the wall so he could hold himself as he came. Yamato watched the way his senpai's knees trembled, his body weakened, his moans softened. It only took Kakashi a short while before picking himself up, as if he noticed the state he was in and needed to shield himself again.
The moans didn't stop straight away. Yamato kept going, just as fast, just as deep, fingers sunk into Kakashi's hips. A few more thrusts, just a little bit longer. It felt so good, why did it have to end? Maybe they could go again — so what if it was past midnight? It was their last night, Yamato wanted to spend it like that. But the better his senpai sounded, looked and felt in his hands, on his dick, the harder it became to hold back. He came,... inside him, no time to pull out, and neither did he want to. He slammed against him a few more times, breathing heavily. Kakashi too.
"You feel so good," Yamato said, having the feeling he'd said that way too many times without noticing when he was shoving into him. He pressed kisses on Kakashi's cheek. "Let's go again." Kakashi chuckled, his eyes closed. Yamato continued to kiss him, all the parts of his senpai's face his lips could reach. "I'm serious."
"I'm getting wrinkly, maybe not in the shower?"
"Mm..." Was it too much to want more? Kakashi was still panting, his body drained of energy, but he didn't say no, so there was hope. "Lets get out, then."
Kakashi turn around and Yamato almost pouted at not being inside him anymore. "You go first." Kakashi brushed Yamato's hair back with his fingers. Little things like that warmed his soul.
"You don't wanna come with me?"
"I have come running down my thighs because you're too eager. I need a moment."
Yamato nipped down his own bottom lip with a sheepish smile. "There is a towel over there." He pressed a soft lingering kiss on Kakashi's lips, went under the shower one last time, washed himself quickly and stepped out — trying his best to be less greedy and giving Kakashi a few minutes on his own.
It was so late. To think he had been yawning non-stop earlier, but now his blood pumped and his heart still raced. He had tapped into energy sources he never knew he had.
***
Kakashi closed his eyes as the warm water hit his face.
Fuck. He lost himself. He completely lost himself in Tenzō, his passion, his body. All those moans, begging to be taken, to be rescued. Did Tenzō see that? Did he wonder who that was? Because Kakashi didn't recognise himself for most of it, and when he did, when he realised that was the person he wanted Tenzō to see, he felt so self-conscious.
He rubbed his face, ran fingers through the long strands. No matter how long he stayed under the shower, the rush going through him didn't stop. With his knees still unsteady, he reached for the shampoo — he had washed his hair earlier that evening but he needed more time. Time for his heart to stop pounding so loudly, for his ass to stop throbbing.
Tenzō probably thought that Kakashi had an array of sexual experiences. Who could blame him after he went down on him so assertively the other night? He couldn't be more wrong, though. Kakashi had never given himself to another man before, he never surrendered like that. Even with women, it was either in Kakashi's terms or nothing. No sex would have ever felt like this, even if he had tried being someone's bottom. The act only played a small part, it was Tenzō the one responsible for everything. Kakashi was still recovering from how he made him feel, and maybe he needed more than a shower, more than a night to understand what they had shared, this connection Kakashi had with no other human being.
When he left that bathroom he would have to face him. What was Tenzō thinking? What did he think of him now? And why not knowing those things scared him? If nothing changed, then what did it mean?
Kakashi sighed loudly and finished rinsing the shampoo off his hair. He hoped that by turning the cold water it would be enough of a shock to bring him back from the haze, so that's what he did. A good ten seconds under freezing water. He took time to dry himself but paid little attention to his hair. Tenzō had no blowdryer, he found out that first night, so what different did it make anyway?
He wrapped the damp towel around his waist and looked at himself one last time in the mirror., turning the head to the side and inspecting his sore neck. "Hm, you really are bitey," he said to himself and left.
The clothes that they dropped and kicked out of the way had already been picked up, the living room lights were off, the windows closed. He must have stayed in the shower for quite a while.
"Tenzō?"
"In the kitchen!"
There he was, in sweatpants, his damp hair brushed back. He turned to Kakashi and smiled as if he had just woken up from a full night of sleep where nothing remotely eventful had happened. Kakashi, on the other hand, yawned and hoped how he felt inside made him look no different than he ever done. With Tenzō, he had always been handsy but he fought the urge to wrap his arms around him.
"What are you doing?" Kakashi said, holding the towel to keep his hand busy and rested his chin on Tenzō's shoulder. Was it too much to want comfort, even now?
Tenzō side glanced at him — the warm smile stamped in his face — and gently bump his head on Kakashi's. "Herbal tea. Want some?"
"Sure." Kakashi leaned back on his head as another yawn came.
"Tired, uhm?"
Kakashi slow blinked. "You forget I didn't really sleep yesterday."
"Right." Tenzō smiled widened. "And here I thought you could keep going all night."
"I'm sorry to disappoint."
If he wasn't so drained, if Tenzō's intensity didn't demand so much of a Kakashi he wasn't used to being, maybe having sex all night would've been nice, memories to fall back on when he needed him the most and he was elsewhere on his mission. The fault didn't fall on Tenzō though, but Kakashi. He struggled, tried to hold back, despite wanting to be close to him, part of him. It was exhausting. Needing and wanting but still not allowing himself to have it. Of course he had nothing left in him.
"You never disappoint me, senpai."
"I'm sure that isn't true."
Tenzō filled up the cups and turned around, holding one to Kakashi. "You frustrate me, infuriate me even at times, but you've never disappointed me."
"Isn't that the same." He took the cup and stepped away from the cosiness of Tenzō's personal space, otherwise he would have laid on him, silently asking for those arms to hold him.
"You never done anything I thought you would never do." Tenzō sipped his tea and tugged on Kakashi's towel, pulling him closer. "It's past 2am... but I'm so not sleepy."
Kakashi smiled and whispered. "Are you implying something?"
"Just..." Tenzō chuckled, tugging the towel again, "making conversation."
"Is that what this is?"
"You know, so we are not awkward after what happened."
"I see."
They were so close Kakashi had to turn his head to sip from his tea. The heat of Tenzō's body warmed his chest, and those fingers, tugged between the towel and Kakashi's skin, teased him. He really wanted him again, Kakashi could see in the way he stared, mellow yet intense, telling him everything he needed without saying a word.
After a another sip or too, with Tenzō watching him, Kakashi reached around him and put the cup on the counter. That moment their faces got so close, a small turn and his lips would have touch the other's. Or if he lingered, he would be resting against him. When Kakashi pulled his arm back, Tenzō touched the ends of his hair.
"I always liked seeing your hair down like this."
"Hm." He really hoped he wasn't blushing. "When was that?"
"When we were younger. Long missions, we had to bathe in unconventional places. Your hair got messier the longer we were away from an inn. The mask would be off for longer sometimes... I got to see your face, but so rarely, even though we spent so much time together."
"There were usually other people."
"And?"
"It would've been different if we were alone."
"You didn't care if I saw you?"
"Never."
It was Tenzō's face that got red then. He looked down the small gap between them. Did he understand what that meant? Did he pick up all those crumbles Kakashi dropped at his feet? Is that why he was blushing, why he had a nostalgic smile in his face.
"Senpai?" Tenzō put the tea cup behind him and brushed Kakashi's hair back with his fingers. "I know you're tired but... wanna go again?"
"You've just started, don't be hasty."
"Don't you think I need to catch up with all the years I didn't have this in my life."
He tugged again on the towel, almost pulling it off him. Kakashi grabbed tightly with both hands. "Mm, sure.... But not in one night."
Though, all they had was one night, that night, after that... who knew. Despite being difficult, Kakashi wanted to be taken to bed, to be made love to — that's what it would be with Tenzō, he couldn't classify what they had as sex alone because it wasn't. He had slept around enough to know the difference. His body and his mind were still so drained, how could he even try to do this again when it took so much of him. He pulled away from Tenzō, who pursed his lips.
"You can borrow the Icha Icha book and entertain yourself," Kakashi said, half joking, and walked off towards the bedroom. "Where did you put my clothes."
Tenzō took no time to follow behind him. "On the bed... but you don't need them."
"You have pants on."
"But I was making tea, couldn't have body parts waving about in the kitchen'
"So you'll be taking them off?"
"In bed,... I thought so, yeah."
"Hm."
Kakashi dropped the towel as he walked into the bedroom and looked back over his shoulder to see Tenzō picking it up from the floor while keeping huge eyes on him. "Better?"
Tenzō inhaled deeply. "Don't tease me, senpai. I'm a very sex-deprived very horny man. You can't just go flaunting that perfect ass and expect me to just sleep it off or read a book."
"I thought you like reading." Kakashi knew,... he knew very well how horny Tenzō was and how much of a tease he was being. Exhausted or not, he couldn't help it. "I'm going to sleep."
"Last time you were in this bedroom telling me you just wanted to sleep..."
The hell with it. Kakashi sat in the middle of the bed, rested on his elbows and parted his legs slightly. Tenzō brightened up like a teenager, dropped his sweatpants and crawled up to him.
Fuck sleep.