Soldier On || Part 2 ||-•-Yamato-🍃-Kakashi-• ||

Chapter 13: After the Wedding: Fucking Words

"I'm sure you know..."

Before the 5th left him alone, she briefly stroked his arm for comfort, but it did nothing for him. He continued to stare at the path ahead as the cherry blossom petals floated across his eyesight with the light breeze, looking pale-white now that sunlight faded. All he had to do was to take that first step, one step. No peaceful scenery could ease the internal fight between what he wanted and the fear that paralysed him.

If he took too long though, Tenzō would leave the village and the past four days, all they went through, would've been for nothing. Tenzō could travel fast, even disappear if he so wished, and after what Kakashi did — what he didn't do — the other had no reason to assume that moments ago hadn't been their last farewell.

Kakashi ran his fingers through his hair, and in his wedding suit, dashed down the path, charged through the streets, jumped from one roof to another, following the shortest possible route towards the village gates.

"Tenzō!" He called out and jumped from the security booth canopy to land by the entrance. "Tenzō..." he said one more time, straightening himself up.

He halted, turning his head slightly to the side, but his eyes didn't shift. "Senpai."

Those words he wanted to say, the ones Tsunade said he knew, where were they? If there was any time for them to come out, it was now. He had years of things to tell Tenzō, and considering the other was so done with it all that he couldn't even face him, meant he'd better say something, anything. They had to be somewhere, in his mind, in his heart. Why was it so hard? He stepped past the gate and stopped before crossing into the other's personal space.

"This..." Kakashi said and opened his hand, holding out the keys to Tenzō's apartment.

Tenzō peeked over his shoulder and turned — only enough for Kakashi to see his side — and looked at the hand alone.

"I don't think I can go in there," Kakashi said.

"You don't have to."

"Why did you give them to me then?"

"I never liked that place, I prefer being outside," Tenzō kept his eyes on the keys. "Besides, it was never really a home, not until now... and I can't keep it with me. It's too much."

Kakashi's heart pounded heavily in his chest, from the running, from standing there, wanting Tenzō to look at him, to acknowledge how difficult it was for him to be there, to come after him while looking for a way to turn everything he felt into sentences he never meant to speak. Why won't you understand me? He begged in his mind but Tenzō still didn't seem interested. Kakashi's brows drew closer. "And you think it's not for me?"

Tenzō turned his gaze to the road ahead again. Did he want to leave? Give me another chance. That wasn't what he wanted to say. He didn't care about the keys, he only wanted Tenzō to stay. He needed a moment, he wasn't ready yet.

"It's late, I have to—"

"Don't go."

"Why?"

"Because I'm an idiot."

"You're not selling it."

"I need you here."

He could hardly see Tenzō's eyes. It was dark and he faced away from him on purpose. He pinched his brows, his eyes closed briefly. "But you can't, isn't that right, senpai? You can't because the mission—"

"Stop saying that."

"Saying what?"

"The mission," Kakashi said, louder than he intended, "always this damn mission!"