(Noah's P.O.V)
I woke up from my peaceful short dream, startled to find myself laying on someone's lap. However I instantly calmed down when I saw a sleeping Eric who was listening to my Ipod.
Then I remembered what happened before I fell asleep, I asked Eric to lay on his lap for comfort and I was listening to my own heart beat. Also, I listened to the silence that seemed nice and not awkward in the slightest.
Trying to sit up, I noticed how one of his arms was wrapped around me, holding me protectively. Gently moving his arm, I sat up, looking at Eric for a bit. How long was I asleep? I hope it wasn't for long...Eric must've been so uncomfortable.
Grabbing both his shoulders, I gently moved him to make him fall on his side. He landed softly on the bed and I moved him more so he was now laying on his back, his head resting on one of my pillows.
After looking at him for a bit, I laid down next to him. There were so many things I had to tell him. When I called him yesterday, I could only manage to tell him my break up with Dustin. But...a few days after that...so much has happened. I really wanted to tell Eric. I felt like I could tell him everything and I knew it was best to be honest with him...but...this would really effect our relationship. I knew that Eric wouldn't be angry at me for long over this, but what would happen to us after that? We would probably remain friends but...nothing will be like the way it used to. We wouldn't be comfortable around each other and Eric will stop liking me in a romantic way.
I moved closer to Eric and laid down on his chest.
Suddenly he moved which made me sit up.
"Noah?''
He yawned, taking out the ear buds and sat up as well.
I then turned away from him so I could think.
Okay....I needed to tell him. He had to know. I may reduce the chances of us dating but it's better if I tell him myself than him finding out on his own.
''Noah?'' he called me again and I couldn't bear to face him.
''I'm fine." I said, wanting to convince myself more than to convince him. I should tell him now, shouldn't I?
Feeling my heart pound of fear, I swallowed as I wiped my sweaty hands on my boxers.
All of a sudden, Eric hugged me from behind, his forehead leaning on the back of my head. I instantly calmed down, sinking into his warmth and security but now, it was just harder for me to tell him.
''Um..."
If I couldn't tell him, I should at least tell him that there was something else going on. Hopefully, that'll force me to tell him soon.
''There's something else bothering me...um...actually I've done something I shouldn't have.
I expected him to let go but instead, he held me tighter.
''What?'' he asked softly.
'Just say it' I thought to myself.
But I just couldn't.
I let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of not telling him growing heavier and heavier.
''Whatever you have to tell me, it won't change anything." he said after a while.
"Yes it will." I insisted.
''Why?''
'You don't know me as well as you think you do." I wanted to say but I just shrugged instead.
Eric sighed, knowing I already knew but just won't tell him.
Then he changed the subject.
"Do you want me to take you out for dinner?"
"Random." I told him
He smiled at my reaction.
''It's nearly 8 o'clock and you've haven't eaten yet. By the way, where are your parents?'' he got up and looked out my window since my window had the best view of the driveway.
''They are sleeping over at a friend's house." I said, making him face towards me.
''They just left you here alone?''
"I didn't feel like going." which was half-true.
He had an unreadable expression so I couldn't tell if he believed me or not. Then his expression turned soft.
''So, dinner?''
''No thanks.'' I declined politely as I could. ''There's left overs in the fridge, I'll just eat that. Sorry.''
''It's fine. I just wanted to make sure you're alright. You look kind of..." he trailed off, and walked closer to me, examining me closely, making my heart pound.
''Kind of what?'' I asked nervously.
''Kind of pale.'' Eric finished, lightly touching my cheek. "Are you sure you're okay?''
He then cupped both of my cheeks.
''I thought you just looked exhausted but now that I take closer look at you, you look awful!''
''I'm fine." I told him, feeling myself sweat a little. Eric didn't believe me though. It was confirmed by the look on his face.
''No, I'm not.'' I added truthfully.
Eric let go.
"Thanks for being honest with me. So the thing that is bothering you is making you like this?''
''Y-yes." I said, putting my head down.
It was quiet between us for a while until I remembered that Eric hasn't eaten yet either.
''Um...you can go now.'' I said. I then regretted it because of how rude that sounded.
''Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.." I told him quietly.
Eric gasped dramatically making me smile a little.
''Are you trying to get rid of me? You don't like being around me anymore?''
''No, I don't. Go away, stop bothering me." I joked.
''Fine, I'm leaving.'' he walked to the door, then turned around, his facial expression serious.
''Honestly, though, are you going to be okay by yourself?"
''Mhm."
''Call me if you need anything.'' he said gently, giving me one last smile as he walked out of the room.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Eric's P.O.V)
I opened the front door of Sadie's house and walked in, perfectly knowing that Sadie would probably question why I've been gone for so long.
As I kicked off my shoes, Sadie came downstairs.
''If you haven't eaten already, dinner is in the fridge.'' she told me as she walked in the kitchen.
I followed her and saw she got Chinese food.
''My mom didn't feel like cooking.'' she explained as she poured a glass of juice for herself I shrugged and told her it was fine as I warmed up the food.
''Eric..." her voice was firm which meant she had something serious to tell me.
''Mm?''
''Marissa called me earlier. She knows you're gay, did you tell her?''
Not even fazed in the slightest, I took out my food from the microwave and dug in as I sat at the table beside Sadie.
''No,'' I answered. ''My classmates asked me because one of them saw Noah and holding hands. I confirmed it and one of them must've told this Marissa person. Probably the whole school knows by now."
Sadie, being herself, only heard the first part of the first sentence.
''You and Noah were holding hands?!'' she squealed and I shrugged.
''We were joking around while we were in the parking lot and he suddenly grabbed my hand.''
Sadie let out an strange noise as I continued eating. She then stopped and her smile disappeared.
''Wait, so all your classmates know?''
''Yes, so?''
''What do you mean so?'' she exclaimed, hitting me upside the head.
I gave her a ''what did you do that for?' look and she started scolding me.
'Why did you tell everyone you're gay? You're going to get harassed!''
''Graduation is nearly a month away." I reminded her ''I'm pretty sure I can handle people's stupidity until then."
''People are bullying you?'' she asked, her face mixed with shock and concern.
''They keep throwing terms in my face.'' I told her calmly. ''Sometimes, It's funny because they would use incorrect terms for me like drag queen, androgynous, and hermaphrodite''
Sadie smiled a little.
''But mostly, it's just faggot.'' I shrugged.
Sadie sighed out exasperation and shook her head.
''What about cyber bullying?' What if someone follows you home and beats you up?''
I put down my fork and patter her leg to comfort her. I didn't blame her for worrying. There were so many hate crimes against gays.
''I guarantee cyber bullying will never happen to me.'' I tried to calm her down. '' No one except you and Noah has my number, I don't have an email so I don't have that face site, Tum...Tumblr...Tumbling site or that site where you stalk people."
She gave me sad smile.
"But, what if you get beat up?''
''I won't-" I tried to insist but she cut me off.
''But what if you did?''
"Honestly," I started off. "the worst thing that people could do to me, aside from insulting my parents, is hurt Noah."
She didn't say anything and since I practically knew what she was thinking, I couldn't help but smile.
"You really love Noah, don't you?" she asked me, her eyes shining.
Okay, I expected her to say something like "you and Noah sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." But still...
My smile widened as that fluttery feeling appeared in my chest.
"You do?!" she jumped out her chair and thoughts of Noah began to flood my mind. To answer her question, I could only nod...while still smiling like an idiot.
I really did. I loved Noah.
Sadie then spoke again and I was struggling to hear what she was saying.
"Okay, that explains why you've changed so much. Even the people at school has noticed."
"Uh-huh." I responded stupidly.
"Eric." she called me and I turned towards her.
"Yeah," I tried to fight my smile but it was completely useless.
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Something about me changing." I answered.
"Well you have. A lot. You're not a grumpy, isolated, asshole anymore!" she exclaimed. After a long pause, I stopped smiling and turned towards her.
"You want to elaborate?" I finally asked.
She gave me an "are you kidding me?" look then she started explaining.
"Okay, you don't say things like "I'm perfect" or "I'm a genius anymore. You don't dish out snarky comments, you smile a lot, which is a good thing of course. You don't mumble and-"
"Blame those things on Noah." I told her, interrupting her.
"See!" She exclaimed. "Usually, you'd say things like-" she stopped as she cleared her throat and deepened her voice to mimic me. "People change, Sage. It's not a big deal, stop over-analyzing me."
I felt my cheeks warm up, knowing how true that was.
"You can thank Noah for that." I repeated quietly, making her smile.
"Okay. Wait...doesn't it hurt that you're in love with someone who's already taken?'' she asked, making me go stiff. I didn't want to tell her but I knew she'll pester me about it.
'Well um-' I began but trailed off.
''What?! Dustin dumped Noah? Is that why you went to Noah's house? So you could comfort him?'' She exclaimed, surprising me that she was point on.
I opened my mouth to protest but I couldn't lie to Sadie so I closed my mouth.
I didn't say it, she figured it out on her own. I defended mentally to no one in particular.
'''Aw, poor Noah.'' Sadie pouted. ''Wait, why were you there for so long? Did it really take you that long for you to comfort him? Dustin must be one hell of a bitch."
I almost laughed at the last sentence but I kept a straight face.
"No, we just fell asleep since neither of us had a proper good night sleep last night." I told her and she giggled, making me realize how dirty the statement must've sounded to her.
''No,'' I tried to explain ''I meant I didn't sleep because I was worried about him. Noah couldn't sleep because-''
I trailed off since I remembered that Noah had told me that there was something else bothering him. Something he had done and he couldn't tell me right now.
''Because he's still heartbroken." I finished.
I knew that Sadie picked up on my pause and how she might've figured out that there was something else bothering Noah.
"Let me finish eating." I told her and she smiled at me and left the room.
----------
When Monday arrived, I was half expecting Noah to magically look better but when I picked him up this morning, he looked a bit worse than a couple of days ago.
We said 'hi' to each other and that was it. What happened with him that was so awful that he couldn't tell me? I know it wasn't anything majorly extreme like killing anyone or committing rape. So what was so bad to make him think that I wouldn't like him anymore if he told me?
In homeroom, I was thinking about Noah. I was worried sick about him. What should I do? I couldn't pressure him into telling me because that'll make things worse. I wanted to ask him many questions but that'll probably annoy him.
I let out an inaudible sigh and rolled my eyes when I felt the same damned pen poking at the back of my neck for about the 5th time. Some moron sitting behind me was talking to me. I didn't really know what the hell he was talking about and I couldn't care less. I thought not turning around and not make an effort to pay attention would give him a message but it didn't.
I turned around to face the guy and spoke.
"Look, I appreciate your affections for me but I'm just not interested."
A look of disgust appeared on the guy's face as he turned bright red.
"Ugh! What the fuck man, that's disgusting." he hissed.
''Well if you stopped bothering me then, I wouldn't have made that assumption."
"I'm just telling jokes, don't get your panties in a twist.'
Oh, so he was telling me gay jokes? How amusing.
''Stop poking me with your damn pen and I would have an easier time ignoring you.''
''I can poke you with my fucking pen whenever I want to!"
he had the misfortune of shouting that out loud when it was silent in the class...
The class giggled and the teacher scolded him.
Anyways, what should I do about Noah? Did he hurt someone? If he did, I'm sure he didn't intend to do it. What about drugs...? No, he wouldn't do drugs, he's stronger than that. And I bet he thinks smoking and drugs are gross.
I then partly heard the guy behind me talking again. I quickly paid attention to hear if he was talking to me.
''....faggot. I'll beat the shit out of you.''
I turned around and spoke.
''Are you talking to me? If you are, I don't care. I'm sorry.''
I faced the front again. I knew the guy was spouting more insults and threats but now, the most important thing was Noah.
----
When the lunch bell rang, I walked to Noah's class. I was going to ask him out. Not on a date but maybe take him out somewhere like the movies to get his mind off of what was bothering him. Or maybe-
Abruptly, someone walked into me.
''Hey, watch where you're going.'' I told the person but my heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was Noah.
''Sorry, Eric.'' he apologized, looking up at me.
"Don't be,'' I told him quickly, ''so are you going to eat lunch with me or do you need more time alone?''
''I'll eat with you. I don't think I can handle being alone anymore.'' He mumbled, making me almost miss what he said.
''Okay,'' I said quietly. God, there were so many things I wanted to ask him, and tell him. I wanted to hug him, kiss him, cuddle with him and protect him from everything. But I couldn't.
We walked to the cafeteria and when I opened the door, Noah spoke up.
''Um, do you mind if we sit in the hallway? I don't...'' he trailed off and I let the door go.
''Sure." I gave him a little smile and began walking but he stopped me again.
''Not by the vending machines."
He led me to the old gym and we sat in the corner of behind the pile of gym mats.
I began eating until I felt Noah snuggling up against me.
''Did something happen this weekend?'' I asked, too scared to know the answer,
''Mhm.''
I put my food to the side and held him. I wish I could read his mind.
I asked if I could guess what was wrong and he said yes and promised me to confirm it if I said the right answer.
I asked if he did drugs, if he harmed someone, bullied anyone, blackmailed someone, or if he had a one night stand. The last one wasn't a serious question, I just threw it in there to make him laugh and he did a little.
However he didn't confirm to anything I said. I gave up. I couldn't think of anything else at the moment.
I let go of Noah and he rested his head on my shoulder and cradled my arm. I was so damned frustrated. Not only did I not know what was wrong but I had no idea what to do to cheer him up.
''Is there something I can do?'' I asked him and like I predicted, he said ''no''
''Can I take you out somewhere?'' I tried again and he didn't say anything so I continued to talk. ''Maybe I can take you to a movie, the arcade?''
He lifted his head up.
''Sure,'' he smiled at me and I never felt so relieved in my life.
''But you pick the place.'' he added. ''I want you to be entertained too.''
Seriously? I'm trying to cheer him and he still thinks of me.
Without thinking, I planted a soft kiss on his cheek. I instantly pulled away when I realized what I've done. Now really wasn't the best time to do that.
"I'm sorry, that was too much.'' I apologized.
Surprisingly, he gave me a warm smile, his cheeks slightly pink.
''No it's fine. You didn't take advantage of me, don't worry. I needed that."
"Good." I smiled out of relief.
I continued to eat my lunch, Noah doing the same.
With the corner of my eye, I snuck glances of him.
I really was in love with him. Why did he had to suffer so much though?
-------------------------
Whoever read the old version I wrote before can pretty much guess what Noah is hiding. If you know, please don't spoil it in the comments! Thank you!