Their flight had no layovers, so within three hours of takeoff, Sakari and Mekhi were landing in Houston, their fathers waiting on them.
"Khi," she said, catching his attention as they exited their gate, on their way out to look for Dre and Shemar. "You gonna tell—"
"No," he immediately shook his head. "I can't do that," he said.
"Khi, you know uncle Dre and my daddy wouldn't judge you. Your mama either, I just want you to be comfortable, you can't be holding this in all weekend," he said.
"Kari I can't. What am I supposed to say? Dad, Unc, I almost got—" he paused, still not being able to say it. "I can't do it, not right now Sakari and please don't say anything to anybody," he stopped walking to look at her.
"I-I—okay," she sighed.
"Swear,"
"I swear, Khi," she said. After a moment, he nodded, and they continued their walk. She knew he could put somewhat of a façade, she was just wondering how long it'd be before his façade broke and he was a mess.
Then there was her. She was disappointed in herself for believing after all these years he would do something that bad and hurt her so deep. She didn't know what else to believe though, so a part of her couldn't stay too mad at her. For now, she'd place her focus on making sure he didn't crack.
She already knew she could put up a mean front. He on the other hand was a little shaky.
"Daddy!" she grinned, already starting. "Hi old man!" she threw her arms around her dad, squeezing him tightly.
"Hey baby girl," he chuckled, hugging her back. She glanced over and saw Khi and her uncle Dre sharing a hug. "How are you, Tootie?"
"I'm doing okay, dad, just tired from all this schoolwork and ready to see my granddad," she cheesed, making him laugh. "Ahem, hello Uncle," she poked his side, making him flinch, because she knew he was ticklish.
"Hello Tootie," he chuckled before wrapping her up in a hug, "You doing good? This knucklehead taking good care of you?" he jerked his thumb over to Khi, who was smiling slightly talking to her father.
"Now Uncle Dre, you know I take care of him," she giggled. "Let's not act brand new,"
Although she was kidding with him, there was some truth to his statement and hers. When they were away from their family, states away at school, they took care of each other. Although to outsiders, including their own friends, it probably looked like she took care of him.
But, ever since middle school Khi took great care of her. He would move a mountain if it meant Sakari would be more comfortable. He did everything he could to make the harsh world around her a softer place, if only by his presence in her life, and he made a big difference. She didn't even notice sometimes the things that he did.
As he was right now, Khi probably needed the most care though, and she'd give it to him because she knew if anything were to ever happen to her, he'd stop the world for her. Just at the thought, a heat crawled up her neck and she glanced over at him again, making her dad laugh, and she smiled herself.
Christmas was getting awfully close.
"Sissa!" Sakari heard as soon as she stepped inside her house, seeing Shiloh and Siarah running full speed at her, from the kitchen.
"My babies! Hi!" she squealed, picking Siarah up while Shiloh hugged around her waist. "I missed you so much," she cooed.
"I miss you too! You know I was on green all week? And my teacher said I can read very good," she nodded, while Shiloh pulled her into the kitchen so they could finish their breakfast. It was only 11 after all. On breaks, their grandma always allowed them to sleep in till 10.
"Good job, munchkin! I'm so proud of you," she gave her a kiss. Her siblings brought out her nicest side when she saw them. "What about you, Shy? How you been?" she turned to Shiloh, as she'd usually be trying to talk over Siarah now.
She didn't say anything, she just looked up, lip quivering.
"Shiloh what's the matter, baby?! What happened?" she asked frantically, setting the younger one down to kneel next to her sister's seat.
"I-I missed you," she pouted and Kari's heart clenched. Usually, Shy was the more tough sister, the tomboy if you will. But every now and then, Shiloh had a moment.
"Aw my goodness," she whined. "Don't make me cry, girl," she hugged her close. "I miss you too allll the time! Why don't you call me, pooh?"
"Because! Mama said your at school and I don't wanna make you fail," she explained, and Sakari did her absolute best not to laugh.
"Shy, you're not gonna make me fail, I still have weekends off like you. And if you wanna talk to me, I will stop doing whatever, okay? Call me more, Nadia, I'm not playing," she said, referring to her by her middle name.
"Okay," she grinned, giving her a kiss and going back to stuffing her face with a strawberry.
"Where's—mommy!" she yelled, running to her mom who was coming downstairs. "Hi ma!"
"Aw my Tootie! Hi baby," Tamika did a little dance over to Sakari and they shared a tight hug. "How are you? How's school?" she wondered, yawning. Since it was the literal day before Thanksgiving, Tamika and Shemar finally had a day off.
"School is good," she smiled, although she wished she could break down crying and tell her mom everything that was going on. But she refrained, for Khi.
After talking for a bit, she snuck up to her parents room, where she knew Tyree was sleeping. Semaja was at rehearsal for her autumn concert, which was tonight, so she wouldn't be seeing her till later.
She saw him knocked out in the middle of their bed, and she was tempted to let him sleep, but she also wanted a kiss, so she did not do that. She lifted him up gently and kissed his face till his eyes cracked open.
"Hi, Tyree," she cooed, and his hand moved slowly up to her touch her face, as if he was trying to see if she was really there. "Can I get a kiss, please?" she chuckled as he kept feeling her face. He just puckered his lips up and she laughed, meeting him halfway, since he refused to lift his head all the way.
After that, she was off to see her aunt Tamara, since she said hi to her uncle Dre already. M
"Excuse me! Auntie!" she called, and heard feet quickly coming to the door, and then she was engulfed in a hug. "Hey fave," she laughed.
"Hey Tootie Toot! You look so cute! Who you getting all dolled up for?" she wondered slickly, and Kari waved her off. Of course Tamara didn't know Kari was crushing on Khi, her mother knew, and her father claimed he always knew, but she made them swear not tell. Like she almost made them blood swear—but her mom talked her out of it.
"Nobody, Auntie, I look cute for me,"
"I know that's right, baby. Khi upstairs sleep, he said he was exhausted, I'm about to go last minute food shopping with your mama before them heathens get up in the store," she rolled her eyes. "Tell Khi not to sleep all day, his Nana is coming soon,"
"Yes ma'am," she nodded, heading right up to his room. She always loved Khi's room, it was so nice and spacious. They knocked down the wall between his and one of the guest rooms to give him more space and extra closet space, it was a dream.
When she opened the door, he was laying flat on his back in the room, it was pitch black because his blackout curtains were drawn tight, so the only light was spilling through the crack in the door. That was all she needed to see him with his arm resting over his eyes.
"Mekhi? Its me," she announced, poking her head in further.
"I know," he nodded.
"Can I come in?" she asked, in case he wanted to be alone. She wouldn't even blame him if he did.
"You don't have to ask me, Tootie" he said, and she crept in, shutting the door behind her, since she assumed he wanted the darkness.
She stood by his bed, her eyes adjusting to the dark. She'd usually just plop down on the right side of his bed, because despite the fact that it was a king, he stayed in the left side of it.
"You don't have to ask me to sit either," he spoke, and she nodded as if he could see her and sat cross legged atop the sheets, nervous to speak for obvious reasons.
"U-um, I just wanted to check on you. Are you-well are you feeling okay?" she asked, although she knew what he'd probably say. She just wanted him to open up to her.
He drew in a shaky breath, and she suddenly understood why the lights were off and the curtains were drawn so tightly. "I don't know,"
"That's okay! That's fine," she replied quickly. "If you wanna be alone right now that's okay too," she said, quieter now, willing to oblige if he did want to be alone but not wanting to leave him. "Just tell me and I —"
"No," he quickly said. "Y-you don't have to leave," he said, and she didn't notice, because she clearly could not see, but he moved a little closer to her.
"Okay," she nodded, moving his arm from his face and again offering comfort through her hand in his. "I'll stay,"
The next afternoon, gospel music played loudly throughout the Washington home while Tamika, Tamara and the kids grandmothers busied themselves in the kitchen. Sakari was so happy she helped this morning and now was tasked with making sure the little ones didn't hurt themselves.
Being in the kitchen any other day was fine, but on thanksgiving it felt like she was being watched by Gordon Ramsey.
"Siarah! Get up off that grass because if one of them barrettes come out that's yo' behind!" she fussed as she, Semaja and Mekhi sat on the back porch. "I'm not having no damn kids this is too much for me," she huffed.
"So since mama and daddy decided to have all these crotch goblins I can't get no nephew?" Semaja asked incredulously.
"Maj—you are one of the crotch goblins, you do realize that?" Mekhi stifled a laugh. He was doing a little too well at masking his feelings today, and while she knew he didn't wanna tell anyone right now, Kari also knew this would eventually take a toll on his mental state.
None of their cousins were at the house, just their grandparents, and it was shaping up to be a pretty peaceful Thanksgiving, at least compared to the usual chaos it brung.
"Huh?" he looked up from his phone after hearing his name called repeatedly—to see Siarah, standing at his feet, staring at him with a little smile. She was the sweetest of all the Carter kids, she loved kisses and cuddles, she ran around just like her older sister but she quickly tired of it and would much rather be under someone getting some love.
Only Khi knew Sakari could be like that sometimes. He'd seen it on her family members. As much as she tried to act, he knew.
"Wassup, mama?" he asked her, sitting straight up.
"Can I sit with you?" she asked him, and he nodded, lifting her up into his lap while he went on scrolling, and she just laid her head on his chest. "You okay, Poppie?" she asked him, not lifting her head—as if she could just sense something was off about him.
"W-what you mean, baby?" he asked, and one of her smaller hands hung on to his shirt.
She shrugged a bit, and was silent for a second before she started to try and explain. "You feel different," she said simply. And for a child, Siarah was extremely perceptive, he thought. "Are you sad?"
"I'm um," he inhaled sharply. "I'm just tired,"
"Mommy said big girl school makes Tootie tired all the time. It's like that?" she wondered and he nodded. "Well I hope you can take a nap before we eat," she smiled, making his heart ache.
"Thank you, baby girl," he said sincerely. "Me too,"
Later on, now everyone dressed was dressed up, to sit at the table, which Mekhi thought was dumb. He did it anyway though, because his mom and his grandmother made him—and they called him handsome, which he loved.
"Okay! Time to get sappy, mommy's favorite part!" his aunt Tamika clapped while everyone ate, and he saw Kari groaned, genuinely making him want to laugh. "I'm so thankful for my family this year, but especially for my husband, Shemar," she squeezed his face, and he shook his head, kissing her temple, as she went on a tangent about why her husband was amazing.
She usually didn't his about her kids, so he was not used to seeing his uncle get all nervous like she was telling her she liked him. It was funny to him how much Kari was like her father—but followed her mom around like a lost puppy when they were kids.
They went around the table as usual, and he laughed when Shiloh said she was thankful for the macaroni and cheese, prompting Siarah to say she was thankful for the greens and ham, which she was currently trying to stuff her face with.
"Tootie, how bout you?" his mom asked.
"Oh! Um," she hummed, unprepared. "I'm thankful for my little siblings, I missed them a lot while I was at school, so I'm extra thankful," she smiled, and Semaja cooed sarcastically. "Except Maja, I didn't miss her," she chuckled, making everyone laugh.
"You next, Pop," Tamika prompted him.
"Uh," he breathed in, hesitating. He was never good at hiding his emotions, it was taking so much from him to keep himself contained and acting happily all day, he even heard his aunt ask Sakari if he was okay earlier.
"Tootie, is Mekhi okay? He seems kinda down," Tamika asked, as Khi walked back downstairs. He stopped his descent, and paused to hear what Kari would say. He trusted her, and he knew she wouldn't tell since he as asked her not to—but he was still curious.
"He's alright, just kinda tired overall, you know? Football, plus classes, plus studying and our recent midterms just been taking a lot out of him lately. Just a little overwhelmed," she explained smoothly—as if she'd been practicing the lie for for days.
"Aw my poor baby. Make sure you tell him Tete said take a day off. He needs it,"
"Yeah," she said, he could hear the twinge of sadness in her voice. "He does. I'll tell him, mama"
Since then, he'd been working overtime to keep the smile on his face, because if she noticed, and Siarah did too—his own parents surely had. So, he was doing the best he could, but he was exhausted of it.
"I'm thankful for Sakari, she really helping me get through sophomore year, got me all tired and stuff," he chuckled lightly and his family smiled, thanking everyone and continuing dinner. Everyone, except Sakari herself, because she knew what he really meant, and it broke her heart.
"Hey mama," Khi called, knocking on her door as she got ready for bed.
"Hey, baby. What's up?" she asked, combining through a section of her thick natural hair before beginning a braid. It was the day after Thanksgiving, and he just got done eating some leftovers, that he was already sick of.
"Um...well I just had a favor to ask you," he asked, sitting on her bed. His dad and grandfather were currently out in the backyard laughing and joking, so he felt like now was the best time to get to her.
"Of course my love, what can I do for you?" she smiled warmly, making him smile in turn. His mom always made him feel so warm. "You okay?"
He wasn't.
As the days stretched on, he found himself more and more confused by his own mind, it was like swimming in the cold ocean—it never ended and you couldn't see the bottom even if you tried—and you couldn't just get yourself out. He needed help, but he felt so embarrassed—humiliated even. It was like he had shackles on his ankles, as tried as he hard to get up, they dragged him down deeper. They made him feel helpless.
"Yeah. School is just...a lot right now. I'm really overwhelmed by so much," he said, grossly understating his feelings. "Could you just, if you don't mind, just pray with me please?" he asked, and she smiled widely nodding.
Tamara was raised in a house where prayer was important. She taught Mekhi the same, but he was so used to her doing it over him, he felt like when she prayed the weight was lifted faster. It may have just been a feeling, but it was one he needed right about now. He remembered when he was young, and his mother's oldest brother passed away, this was the only way she could comfort herself. He needed that.
Khi knew it wouldn't completely solve his problems—it never solved all his problems but a prayer helped him feel.
Tamara took his hands, and bowed her head, and he did the same.
"Heavenly father, I ask that you soothe my son. I ask that you help him mourn his serenity, mourn his security and mourn his confidence, father. I ask that you send healing upon him like cold waters, soothe his spirit with your love. I ask that you help him feel secure, guide him through this storm as you have done many others," she spoke. Khi's head nodded along with her words and she squeezed his hands a little tighter, causing his breath to catch in his throat.
"Let his anger not turn into self-hate, but to motivate his actions and his purpose. With your grace, I ask that you not let him move beyond victim, but to recognize his power as a survivor. As humble as I may, I ask that you grant Mekhi peace and serenity of mind and body, for I know what may seem broken, will be made whole again. In your name, we pray— amen" she concluded, sending another squeeze to his hands and he exhaled softly. It was as if she knew exactly what to say without him even telling her what was really wrong.
"Amen," he spoke quietly. Afterwards, he quickly took a few deep breaths to keep from getting emotional and he wrapped his mom in a hug. "Thank you mama,"
"Anytime my love. Please take a break if you need it, me and daddy would understand. Don't overwork yourself or let anything get you too overwhelmed. Texas is only a flight away if you wanna come home okay?"
"Yeah," he nodded, as she rubbed his back.
Their moment was cut short when he heard his dad coming back upstairs, Shemar probably just leaving. "Boy why you always in my room! This my wife," he fussed.
"And she's my mama," Khi teased back. "Get used to it, y'all not finna get rid of me," he chuckled.
"Ima call Tootie to come get yo' lil ass," Dre huffed.
"Tootie sleep!" he exclaimed—and she most likely was. When she was on break she did not play about getting sleep. "You can't get rid of your only son, what kind of mess is that?"
"Y'all both can get out, I'm doing my hair peacefully," Tamara cut in, and they both immediately shut up. "Thank you my loves," she grinned innocently and they just sat down with slight shakes to their head.
The day before they were scheduled to return to school, Khi and Kari snuck—well not really snuck off. Their parents knew where they were, just not exactly what they were doing.
Kari didn't smoke often. Usually only when she was home and had nothing better to do, and Khi was too nervous he'd fail a drug test so he'd only ever do it on long breaks. Right now, he just watched her as they say in the playground of a park they frequented as kids.
They weren't saying much, Sakari just wanted to get Khi out of his dark room for the day. At least once.
"Mekhi," she said, huffing out a cloud of white smoke, Khi watching as it filled the air. "Have you ever thought about talking to the school counselor ab—"
"No," he shook his head. "I don't want to,"
"Why not, Khi? Keeping this all in is gonna really hurt you," she explained to him. "There has to be someone other than me and Trae. We can't help you, all we can do is listen,"
"Isn't that all they'd do too?" he huffed.
"No, they're professionals. They can help you work through it, Khi. You can't do this all by yourself!" she said, finding herself get emotional, making his eyes widen. "I'm sorry. I just...I don't like seeing you like this it makes me nervous. I know it'll take time but-but maybe starting with that would be like putting your best foot forward,"
He still didn't really look convinced, and she could understand why. It already was hard for him to even accept that he'd been assaulted— she still didn't think he had because he still couldn't say it. The thought of having to have to explain it to a whole new person was probably not the best idea to him.
"You can't carry around all this weight alone. This type of stuff has really bad long lasting effects on people, especially young people Khi. I just want you to be alright in the long run. And right now,"
"I'm o— "
"You're not okay," she immediately shook her head. "Y-you know Siarah came in my room last night after we got home, and she asked me if you were gonna be okay? She said you told her you were tired an-and she didn't believe you. You are not okay, and that's okay. If you don't wanna go, that's fine but you're not okay Pop," she sniffed and wiped her face with her empty hand like she was about to cry.
He hated it when she cried.
"I-I'll go," he said.
"Mekhi. Do not go because I'm crying. You know how many times I cried since then? My tears not gon change a damn thing about how you feel. I want you to go because you think it can help you. Because I know you're confused Bubba. They can help you,"
"But...what if I can't like...what if I can't go into detail and explain," he huffed again.
"That's okay! Y'all can talk about other things till your comfortable, or you could just describe how you been feeling lately, they're never gonna force you to talk about something that would make you really uncomfortable or trigger you," she said.
He just looked around, trying to figure out what to say. He knew she was right, he wasn't okay and he probably really could help himself, but he was hesitant.
"I can go with you for the first time," she suggested, knowing he might like that.
He was also hesitant to accept that offer. People already thought he was too reliant on her—it was starting to get to his head a little. He knew he relied on her for a lot, because she was the only bit of home he had at school. At home, he had his mom and dad, and he had the comfortability of being in his space.
But at school he didn't have that. He had Trae and Sakari. Up until recently he didn't share much with Trae, so really had her. He wanted to change that, he didn't want Sakari to think she was being used by him or that he didn't appreciate her for who she was.
He also didn't want her to become annoyed with him, to think that he couldn't do anything alone or that he wasn't self sufficient because he was. He just preferred a presence and Sakari was usually said presence. He didn't want her to feel obligated to do anything for him.
"You don't have to if you don't want to, it might be uncomfortable for you," he shrugged.
"Why would it be? I know how you'd feel in there alone, why would I make you go alone?" she furrowed her eyebrows.
"I-I just don't want you to feel like you have to. Because you don't," he said. "Yknow this is my problem and if you think it's better that I handle it alone I can," he said firmly.
"Well I don't think that," she said, exhaling more smoke. "And I know I don't have to go. You're my best friends, Mekhi. I wanna help you, and I know you like the back of my hand—you don't wanna be alone in this so I'm not gonna leave you, simple as that," she said.
He wasn't looking in her face, but he already knew she had that unwavering expression on—the one that told him she didn't care what he said. She was gonna do what she thought was the right thing to do.
"I-I'd appreciate it," he said, nodding.
"So...so you're gonna go?" she said, hope laced in her tone.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'll go,"
hey friendsssssss ya girl is back with another update :)
let's get into it!
first, khi does not want his father or anyone for that matter to know what happened. do y'all understand? do you agree?
cute big sister moments with kari and the bebes 🥺
how did we like thanksgiving? and what khi was thankful for?
yall know kids are EXTREMELY perceptive sometimes? what did yall think of khi's moment with baby sister?
and how about khi's moment with his mom?
lastly, how did we feel about the conversation in the park with the two? you think he's gonna do well in counseling?
and how about how he feels about his dependence on sakari and his family? lmk!
i hope you all enjoyed :))
till next time ❤️