Chapter 85 is dedicated to itsalai
Thank you for your support ❤
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Song: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur
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"Penny for your thoughts?"
Noah turned to me slowly. His brows were still creased like they'd been for the past ten minutes. I felt like if I left him up to it, his stare would burn a hole through the desk soon.
"Just thinking about the future."
"What about it?" I asked. "Are you still trying to decide your major?"
"Well, yeah, but thanks to you I'm more certain of what I want to do now."
I grinned and patted his shoulder. "Glad I could help."
He smiled at that and reached for my hand. He was holding my hand a lot more these days, but I figured there was no harm in letting him.
I didn't want to hurt his feelings even more or push him further away. Besides, I didn't have a boyfriend and he was my best friend.
"Mr. Warren," our lecturer smiled as she swept into the room. She was buried up to her neck in a stack of papers that she haphazardly put down as she came over to us. "I've received the email," she smiled. "Congratulations!"
Noah cocked his head. His eyes clouded over with confusion before realization dawned in them.
"Oh... um, thanks."
She nodded and walked off to arrange the papers.
"What was that about?"
"Oh." The tip of his ears turned pink and he busied himself with his camera, suddenly interested in adjusting the lens. "Just some stuff."
"Uh huh," I laughed.
"Anyways," he continued hurriedly, "I was hoping that we could-"
"There's our scholar!"
We looked up as the lab technician came over to us and clapped eagerly. "I heard the good news, Noah. Congratulations!"
She turned to me with a wry smile. "I always see him with a camera, but I thought it was just a hobby. I didn't know he wanted to be a photo-"
"Okayyy," Noah laughed nervously, cutting her off.
"Aw, look at you being modest," she gushed. "Getting accepted on a scholarship is something to be proud of!"
"A scholarship?"
Noah avoided my eyes with a sigh as the lab tech left to go do something else.
"You got a scholarship?" I pressed.
"Kind of."
"Noe, congrats! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I'm not going to accept it."
"What do you mean?" I frowned. He didn't look excited about it in the least.
"Which school?"
"GreenMont University."
"G-GreenMont?" I stuttered, grabbing his arm. "Get out of here! That's one of the best schools in the world! Why on Earth would you even think about rejecting that offer? You want to do photography, don't you?"
He scratched his head and then finally turned to face me with a frown. "Do you really think me going to GreenMont is a good idea?"
I stared at him. What kind of question was that?
"Yes!" I yelled. "Why the heck aren't you excited? If it's because of your parents, I'm sure they'll understand."
"It's not because of them," he growled. "It's my choice to do this."
"But why?" I murmured. "This is a really big opportunity."
"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "It's also practically on the other side of the globe."
I waited for him to explain whatever he meant by that. He toyed around with his camera again, adjusting each piece carefully as he foraged for the words that would make me understand. After a moment of silence, I eased the camera from his hand.
"Noe... don't you get how amazing this is?"
"It's you who doesn't understand," he sighed. "GreenMont is in Lucia."
"So?"
"There's no Elizabeth in Lucia."
My breath hitched in my throat. There was no way he was planning on turning down this offer because of me. This was his dream at stake. How could he even think I would be okay with him throwing away such a golden opportunity?
"Please tell me that I'm not the one stopping you from going to GreenMont."
"I want to be with you."
This could not be happening.
"You can't be serious."
"Elizabeth, I'm dead serious. If you ask me to stay, then I will."
So this was happening. I stared at him, trying to figure out why he was being so obstinate. I'd already turned him down once and I didn't want to do it again. I didn't want to say those words to him again. It would just steamroll my heart. I thought he'd at least moved on a little. I slowly withdrew my hand from his.
"Listen, Noe. Asking you to stay would be the most selfish thing I could do. Do you really think I would stand between you and the thing that makes you the happiest?"
"You're wrong there," he sighed. "You make me the happiest. Being around you again, I feel so motivated. It's like I'm seeing everything in bright new colours. It's kaleidoscopic. You brighten my world, literally. If I don't have you as my muse, I don't think I'll be able to see the world the same way."
"You'll find another muse," I insisted. "There must be something else in Lucia that can inspire you. And that muse might be even better than me. You won't know until you search."
He drew back as if I'd slapped him in the face. His expression was pained. "You're really asking me to go?"
"I'm asking you to not stay. I don't want to be the reason you get stuck here and spend the rest of your life wishing you'd taken the chance when you could have. I couldn't live with myself for doing that to you, Noe."
My voice was soft, pleading. I didn't want this to be harder than it had to be for either of us. I didn't want him to go, but I couldn't tell him to stay either.
"It's my choice, Elizabeth," he sighed. "I know I won't regret choosing you."
"Well, I don't want you to have to choose." I crossed my arms. "I don't want you to choose me."
His brows lowered as he let what I just said register. I used his silence as a way to continue trying to persuade him.
"Think about it, Noe. GreenMont is the perfect school for you."
"I don't care," he protested softly. "I've spent my whole life watching you through a lens." He gripped the camera and let out a bitter laugh. "I was too much of a coward to tell you how I've felt all these years. Now I don't want to hide the way I feel about you anymore. I don't want to hide behind a camera.
"I want to step out and be by your side. I thought moving would have changed the way I felt, but no matter how many girls I tried to move on with, it was always your face in my mind. I don't want to lose you a second time. If changing majors is what it'll take to be with you, then I'll do it."
"You don't mean that."
I closed my eyes and leaned away from him. I knew he did. He meant every word and that was what scared me the most. How did I not realize he'd felt so strongly about this.
I thought we'd been able to move past it. Why now? Why was I the one who'd end up driving him out of my life this time? It wasn't fair!
"It's not fair for you to do this to me," I mumbled.
We sat in a pregnant silence. A shrill bell rang out somewhere in the building, letting us know that the hour was up. But neither of us moved. I hardly dared to breathe because I didn't want to shatter the silence. It was as if time was frozen and we were frozen with it.
"Why him?" Noah asked hoarsely after a few minutes ticked by. "I don't get why you're choosing him."
I pursed my lips. I was all too aware of the hurt in his voice. This hurt more than the first time.
I thought about it. I still didn't have an answer. Was Ashton really the reason why I was unable to accept Noah's feelings? I didn't even like him. At least, I think I didn't.
Why would I like Ashton DeLorentes, the crown prince of Crysauralia?
It would be so much easier to choose Noah. It would make life a lot less complicated by being with Noah. He made me happy and when he was around it felt like I owned the sun all for myself.
Maybe it was the soulmate bond that was influencing my choices. The dumb thing! I really wished I could just get rid of it and then see how I really felt.
With Noah, our chemistry felt right. It was a slow and even reaction. With him I was sure of what I would get. Ashton DeLorentes was full of mysteries and surprises. With him life felt like a rollercoaster. Our reaction was hot and explosive.
But maybe it was what I wanted. Maybe dynamic reactions weren't so bad. The only way to know was to experiment and hope that it wouldn't leave us both burnt and broken.
Maybe there was a part of me that did want to choose Ashton. I wasn't entirely sure if I should. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. If it was the Elizabeth thing to do.
Should I?
Could I?
"Does he care for you like I do? Can he make you happy the way I want to?" Noah took my hand again. He placed it over his heart. "Does his heart beat only for you, the way mine does?"
He sighed. "If I never moved away, do you think things would be different between us now?"
I nodded slowly. "Maybe."
"That's all I need," he sighed again. "I'm not giving up, Elizabeth. I don't want to make you sad either," he murmured, tenderly stroking my hair.
"I'll go to GreenMont, but I'll still be fighting for you even if I'm a million miles away."
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Hey lovelies! Thanks for reading!
Noah's dream of becoming a photographer is coming true, but that means might be leaving soon... Do you want to see him go?
Should he change majors and stay in Crysauralia, or should he go to GreenMont University?
Is Elizabeth making the right choice by not giving him a chance?
Leave a comment and a vote❤
See you in the next chapter!