Liliana's pov
"Hey." I smiled walking into the CT scan room where Jackson stood looking at Dianne's scans.
"Hey." He sighed. I could tell by the way that his brows furrowed that he was focused and stressed. While going in to operate on Dianne, he found that her cancer has spread which meant they have to try to come up with a whole new treatment plan to save her life.
"I missed you last night." I said walking over to him and handing him a cup of coffee.
"Thanks." He said as he took a sip. "I'm sorry. I didn't even leave the conference room last night. I was so busy trying to figure out what to do next with Dianne. We run into a problem every way we turn." He shook his head.
"If anyone can handle this case, it's you." I assured him. "How is she?"
"Her scans showed that now she has a met in her liver. Maggie's freaking out." He huffed.
"Understandable. This has to be scary for her." I nodded.
I understand how painful it is to see your mother sick and not be able to do anything. Even though Maggie isn't my favorite person, I sympathized with her.
"I know. I just wish that I could fix this." He sighed.
"You're doing everything that you can." I assured him. I stayed in the room for a little while before I had to leave for a consult. After my consult, I had a craniotomy surgery scheduled. Once that was complete I went to the lounge to grab some water.
"Tired?" Alex chuckled noticing me let out a yawn as he entered the lounge.
"Yes," I chuckled. "My child decided that she wanted to wake up at 4 am this morning." Since Jackson has been so busy with Dianne's case, I've primarily been taking care of things at the house. I would be lying if I said it hasn't been a little exhausting. Making sure that the house is clean, that Isabella is taken care of, and being the head of neuro is a lot, but I understand that Jackson is under a lot of stress right now and I'm trying to support him as much as possible. Maggie is his friend and it can't be easy being the person responsible for helping save her mother's life.
"Gotta love parenthood." He joked.
"Dianne fired me." Meredith huffed as she stormed into the room.
"What?" Alex said.
"She fired me from her case?" She said as she took a seat.
"Why?" I frowned taking a sip of my water.
"Because of Maggie. She keeps pushing her to have surgery after surgery. Dianne is sick, her body can't handle that. As her doctor, I told her that she needed to wait before we do the next surgery. Now I'm fired." She sighed in frustration.
"She's just trying to make Maggie happy. She knows how hard this is for her and she doesn't want to let her down." I shrugged. When my mom was sick, from the beginning she was told it was terminal but she underwent every type of treatment she could to give me some type of hope during that time. As a mom, you're always taking care of your kids even when you're the one who needs to be taken care of.
"But Maggie knows better. She's a doctor." Meredith says.
"Right now she's a child who scared out of her mind." I shrugged. She's gonna grasp for any treatment plan or surgery out there if it gives her the slightest bit of hope and there's nothing you can do to change her mind. All you can do is be there for her."
"When did you become a shrink." Alex joked.
"I'm a mom now. I fix problems." I smirked.
I left to complete my last surgery of the day and once I finished I changed out my scrubs. Jackson was still in surgery with Dianne, so I got Isabella from daycare and went home.
"Bella, mommy needs to work." I sighed as she kept crying, holding onto my shirt as she used my body to help herself stand up in bed. I was swamped with paperwork for the neuro department, but it was obvious she wasn't going to let me finish it.
"Okay." I sighed laying my files on my bedside table before placing Isabella in my lap. "We are not doing this all night." I said before I began lightly tossing her in the air and catching her making her chuckle.
"You're so spoiled." I chuckled as I continued. I kept playing with her until eventually she got tired and finally fell asleep. I laid her in bed beside me careful not to wake her. Jackson and I had gotten her so good at sleeping in her nursery but since Jackson's been either up researching or at the hospital and I've been mainly taking care of Isabella by myself at night it was just easier to let her sleep in our bed.
- -
A few weeks later
These last few weeks Dianne went through a lot after qualifying for a clinical trial. The thing about clinical trials is that you often feel worse before you feel better and she was definitely going through the worst of it lately. She's such a sweet lady and I hated that she had to go through this, that Maggie had to watch her go through this. Cancer is ruthless and it isn't fair.
"No ma'am. You already ate ." I told Isabella as she sat in her high chair whining while reaching towards my plate. It was breakfast time and though I had already fed her, she was still trying to eat off my plate. Even if she was full if she saw me or Jackson eating something she always wanted some. She continued whining so I gave in and picked her up before sitting back down with her in my lap and feeding her some of my breakfast.
"I knew you were going to give in." Jackson chuckled.
"Leave me alone Avery. Don't act like she doesn't have you wrapped her finger too."
"You're right. Look at her. How can we help it?"
"You're right about that. She's so perfect." I smiled. "I was thinking that we could go to the park later today just to let her play and get out of the house."
"Yeah, whatever my girls want to do." He smiled before his phone began ringing.
"Baby, no phones at the table. Remember." I reminded him.
"I'm sorry. It's Maggie, it might be something with Dianne." He said as he stood up and walked away from the table. I continued trying to eat while also feeding my child who continuously tried to snatch food from my plate.
"Is everything okay?" I asked as Jackson entered the kitchen again.
"Yeah." He nodded taking a seat. "Apparently Dianne's feeling better today. She's cooking this evening and she invited us over."
"That's sweet, but I was kind of hoping today would just be our family day. Me, you, and Isabella. We barely get those with our schedule." I said.
"I know, but she's sick." Jackson said.
"Fine, I'll have to check with your mom to see if she can watch Isabella this evening." I sighed.
"Thank you." He said kissing me.
- -
"Wait hold on. You were 2." Arizona laughed as we sat at the dinner table eating while Dianne told childhood stories about Maggie.
"2 years old." Dianne smiled proudly. "And when I say she was reading, it was reading. Maggie was not sounding out words or anything."
"Okay, Mom." Maggie smiled obviously a little embarrassed.
"And you didn't teach her?" Amelia asked.
"Oh, nobody could teach her. My baby was a genius.
That brain of hers..."
"Okay. That's... Thanks, Mom." Maggie smirked shyly.
"I have you to thank for that, I guess." Dianne said looking over at Richard.
"Well, I don't know about that." He said modestly.
"Oh, and your mother." She said looking over at Meredith. "I'd like to pay my respects to Ellis. I'm here, I'm staying in her house, and it's the right thing to do." Dianne nodded.
"That's very nice, but you don't need to do that." Meredith smiled politely as she took a bite of her food.
"Oh, but I want to. Where is she buried?" Dianne asked as Meredith and Richard glanced at each other like they were hiding something.
"Um... A place where she loved..."
"We dumped her ashes down a scrub sink in OR 2." Meredith said.
"...by the water." Richard mumbled. Everyone around the table awkwardly glanced at each other. I knew that her mother's ashes were gone, but I always assumed that she dumped them in the ocean or something, not in a scrub sink. Alex cleared his throat interrupting the awkward silence.
"Oh, my God!" Dianne gasped.
"Well, it was her favorite OR, and it seemed like the right thing at the time." Meredith explained. "We're terrible people." She sighed before Dianne began laughing uncontrollably as did the rest of us.
"I love it! I love it!" She laughed before she began uncontrollably coughing. Maggie stood up out of her seat to go help her.
"That's okay. That's okay." Dianne tried to wave her off as she coughed into a napkin.
"It's okay. It's okay." Maggie said helping Dianne stand up. "It's okay, Mom." She said as they walked out of the kitchen. We were obviously now concerned for Dianne and that concern grew when she began coughing up blood. We immediately called an ambulance. It arrived quickly and Maggie rode with Dianne to the hospital while everyone gathered their things to follow behind them.
"I need to go to the hospital. I need to find out what's going on."
"Of course. I'll pick Isabella up. You go." I said.
"Okay. He nodded before rushing off. I left to pick Isabella up from Catherine's place. Once I made it home, I got both of us ready for bed.
"Hello." I answered my phone quietly as I gently got out of bed careful not to wake Isabella.
"Hey." Jackson sighed.
"How's Dianne?" I asked as I walked to the kitchen taking a seat at the counter.
"Not good. She has an esophageal tear. Richard's supposed to operate on her soon." He said.
"Oh my God." I gasped.
"I know. This clinical trial is too much for her. It's hurting her more than the cancer."
"I know, but what other options are there?" I asked.
"None." He sighed in frustration. "I'm going to stay at the hospital tonight."
"Baby, there's nothing you can do. This is a general surgery. Come home, get some rest. We'll check on Diane when we go into work in the morning."
"No, I need to be here." He said.
"Jackson." I sighed.
"Lily, I need to stay."
"Okay, I'll see you in the morning." I said before hanging up.
- -
The Next Morning
"Hey." I said walking into the on-call room where Jackson was at laying down.
"Hey." He said as he sat up in bed groggily rubbing his eyes.
"How did the surgery go?" I asked sitting down beside him.
"Not how we hoped. Her bleeding was more extensive than we thought. Richard had to open her up more than he hoped and she had sepsis."
"Poor Dianne." I sighed.
"I know. I'm trying to hide it in front of Maggie, but I don't know how much more of this Dianne can take. I wish we would've caught this earlier, maybe we could've avoided most of this." He said.
"You can't blame yourself. You guys are doing everything that you can. This isn't your fault." I assured him.
"I know," He sighed as my pager went off.
"I have to go. I'll check back in later." I said before kissing him."
"Okay." He nodded. My assistance was needed in the E.R. After examining my patient I took him to the O.R. for surgery. I was able to complete it successfully before taking my patient to recovery. The day continued and though we were all working, it was obvious everyone was still concerned for Dianne who's health was fastly deteriorating. Once my workday was over, I already knew that Jackson was going to spend the night at the hospital, so after I changed out of my scrubs I went to pick up Isabella before leaving to go home.
Once I made it home I ate dinner and fed Isabella. She was tired tonight, so she went to sleep quickly tonight. I let her sleep in our room while I worked on paperwork. After a little while I heard the front door opening signaling that Jackson was home. I got out of bed and went to the living room where Jackson was sitting.
"Hey, how's Dianne?" I asked walking over to him.
"She died." He sighed running his hand down his face.
"Oh my God." I sighed. Even though we all knew Dianne's condition was worsening it still felt shocking that she was dead. She was at Meredith's house laughing and cooking for everyone yesterday and now she's just gone.
"I'm so sorry baby. I know you tried to help her in every way that you could." I sighed.
"And it still wasn't enough." He shook his head. I gently took his face into my hand, looking into his eyes.
"Baby, this was not your fault. You did everything that you could." I assured him.
"I doubt Maggie feels that way." He sighed.
"She just lost her mother, she doesn't know what she feels right now." I said.
"I know, but still." He said guilt written all over his face. "I just need to be alone for a little bit." Jackson was always the type to want to be by himself whenever he's had a rough day and I knew that pushing him to talk wouldn't help. He's worked closely with Diane these last few months and I had to give him time to process her death in his own way.
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