(art by @ DL_MASK_ on twitter)
(the song should play through the entire chapter)
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***
The next time Aether opened his eyes, he was alone in his room at Wangshu Inn.
On the table next to him was a plate of food, a soup of some kind, bloodied rags, and medicine. His vision was still blurry, and the whole room spun as he tried to sit up and look around. His movements caused him to start coughing, spitting blood out onto his arm. Aether's whole body ached.
"You're finally awake. Good." Xiao appeared on the balcony, not bothering to use the door. He grabbed the used rags and dabbed Aether's arm. "Do you remember what happened?"
Aether's head rocked back and forth on the pillow. "No, not really. Did something happen? Wait, are you okay?" Xiao furrowed his brows. He couldn't believe that even though the traveler couldn't sit properly in bed, his first concern was with other people.
"I'm fine, though I struggle to understand the way your mind works." This caused Aether to chuckle lightly, letting out a sigh.
"You know I can take care of myself right? I'll be okay. I know you must be busy as an adeptus."
"The era of adepti has passed. I find myself having a lot more free time these days. It does not inconvenience me to help you. Plus..." Xiao hesitated, focusing on the floor before finishing his sentence, "...this is my fault."
Aether had a look of confusion twisted on his face. "Your fault?"
"I should have known better than to spar with you."
In an instant, a memory came to Aether's mind. Him, Ganyu, and Zhongli, picking glaze lilies, conversing about adeptus Xiao, and the fate of his previous partners. He remembered what had happened just a few days ago, Xiao besting him during training, lying on the ground with the adeptus over his body, the emotions he felt...
"Why are you turning red? Are you feverish?" Xiao asked, his head cocked to one side. Aether's hands flew to his face, startling his caretaker.
"No! No! I'm okay!" He buried his face in his scarf for a while, hoping Xiao would not pry any further. He did not.
"Aether..." His name sounded like heaven in his voice. It came out soft and breathy, and was not much more than a whisper. He looked up at Xiao with a "hmm?" "Once again, I have brought harm to you. I-I lost control."
"No, it's okay. We were training, of course someone was going to get hurt."
"Hurt? Yes. But beaten within an inch of life? No."
"Xiao, really-"
"No." And that was when Aether felt a droplet on his arm, and a hand holding his. He looked into Xiao's eyes, their normal color diluted to a soft peach. Tears were welling up, and a few escaped onto his cheeks. "You don't understand. I thought I killed you. I carried you back to the inn, but you felt lifeless. I-I thought I lost you." The tears flowed freely down his face at that point. This was not the first time Xiao had nearly killed someone, and there were many mortals who fell at the hands of the yaksha, but he did not want to hurt Aether. Anyone, anything, but Aether.
The injured traveler mustered all of his strength and threw himself into the adeptus's arms. Xiao's eyes grew wide, shocked by his response, but serotonin immediately flooded his brain. He got a similar feeling when he embraced Aether the first time, the day they fought Osial, and whenever they touched, even if it was just briefly. His arms wrapped around Aether's waist, tightly, returning the favor. His bones cried, his muscled begged him to lay back down, but Aether did not let go of Xiao. They could feel each other's heartbeat, their breaths, each perfectly in sync. Everything about the hug they shared was perfect.
"Xiao...please tell me you feel it too."
Aether finally released him, but held his face, using his thumb to wipe his tears away. "I-I don't know what it is exactly, but please tell me it's not just me."
Xiao stared at him, no trace of any emotion in his eyes. He wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him about what happened to his heart whenever he saw Aether. He wanted to tell him about the peace of mind this traveler brought to him. He wanted to tell him that there was no one else, in his thousands of years of living, that made him feel the way he did, and that though he was still trying to navigate what exactly feelings meant, he wanted to navigate it with him. He wanted to hold him forever. He wanted to kiss him.
He wanted to love him. But he could not. Xiao suddenly became very aware of how close they had gotten, as though Aether slipped under his radar and stole his heart. It terrified him. He felt like he was losing control, but this time in a different sort of way.
"I...You...you can not feel that way about me. I am not someone meant to associate with, in any capacity. I am a demon, a weapon, and nothing more." Xiao grabbed Aether's hands, which were still pressed against his cheeks, and rested them on the bed, forcing him to lay back down. He wiped the last of his tears himself. "You said you could take care of yourself. I will be leaving, then." Xiao held his head high as he got out of the chair next to the bed, walking towards the balcony. The peachy sunset highlighted his silhouette as he leapt from the wood railing, disappearing into thin air. He did not look back to see Aether, who's jaw had dropped. There were no words for how he felt. He just felt...empty.
Xiao was restless throughout the night. He wandered aimlessly for a long time after leaving the inn. The inn was his true home, a home that now housed a lot of tension and heartbreak. He found himself in Jueyun Karst visiting Rex Lapis's statue that was balanced in between the mountain peaks.
When the adeptus finally opened his eyes, the sun had just begun to illuminate the sky with peachy tones. He slowly stood up, stretching his hands high above his head, but he felt a presence behind him. Two hands grabbed his own, and his head whipped around to see a hooded man. His arms were black and yellow, laced with the element of geo.
"Rex Lapis?"
The statue that Xiao had fallen asleep next to was replaced by the real geo archon.
"Alatus, the last surviving yaksha. What are you running from?"
"I do not understand, lord."
Rex Lapis repeated himself. "What are you running from? I have freed you from the shackles that bound you, but what of the shackles of your mind?"
Xiao remembered hearing that same sentiment from Barbatos.
"But...I don't know what that means."
"No, Alatus. You will understand in time. Listen to what your heart tells you, it will be your salvation."
The archon led Xiao to the edge of the cliff, and held his arms. "Rex Lapis, sir, I do not understand what you ask of me." There was a pleading look in his eyes, mixed with confusion as he hung in the balance over the edge. The only thing keeping him from falling was the archon.
"Let go of the past, but know I am still here with you."
Rex Lapis released his adeptus, and Xiao fell, plummeting to the ground beneath the peaks of Jueyun Karst. He tried to use his anemo powers, but nothing happened. Although he panicked at first, his body settled down, and relaxed as he felt the wind rush against him. He contemplated death. After many millennia of wars, and destruction, and death at his hands, maybe it was finally his turn. He wondered if this was how Aether felt when he fell from the Jade Chamber. Had he accepted that he was going to die? Did he come to terms with the idea of never finding out his sister's fate?
"Aether." The softest of sounds escaped the yaksha's lips.
And it all made sense. And finally, everything was understood. And in his final moments of life, he was freed from the shackles of his mind. And as Xiao's skull finally impacted the ground...
...he opened his eyes.
(art by @ nano_nanora on twitter)