Happy Holi everyone 💛
Published on 29.03.2021
● V I H A A N ●
"You're fired."
"I'm sorry Sir. Please-"
"I said you're fired. Don't you hear me?" I growled at him.
"Sir, I promise I won't repeat it." He begged.
"I don't pay you for such unprofessional behavior and causing losses to my company. Now, get out!" I seethed.
"Sir, I'm so-"
"I said get out Rahul!" I yelled.
"Sir, it's not Rahul. It's-" he started.
"I don't care what you're name is. Your name could be Rahul or your name could be Akbar. I really don't care. Get out before I take a strict action against you. You'll get your termination letter tomorrow."
Why the fuck is everyone hell bent on getting on my nerves?
Rahul or whatever his name was finally left. "What are y'all waiting for? The entertainment is over. Get back to your work." All the other employees who were gathered around the conference room and witnessed the drama dispersed.
"Meera, get me a black coffee in my office." I ordered her and left the conference room.
Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! How can someone be so careless about their own career? How can you party till late night when you've an important presentation to give the other day, reach late to your office, be unprepared for the task assigned leading us to lose the deal and then expect me to forgive you over a mere sorry and meaningless promises? It's good that the deal wasn't that important but it was the first deal that I'd lost in six months. That's unacceptable.
People are annoying. They don't how to behave with different people. A person like me needs to be respected, whose orders needs to be followed. But all I've been witnessing since past few days is people going against me or not taking me seriously or simply avoiding me. This is maddening. The feeling that you aren't in control of your surroundings, of the people around you isn't something that I very much appreciate.
One person that has been the major reason for the chaos in my mind, my life these days - Aarohi. The girl was dangerous. Dangerous for my sanity, dangerous for my heart, dangerous for my entire existence. She was the adventure I craved and the risk I was willing to take inspite of knowing that it's deadly. I hate dealing with people who don't listen to me, act as if they're superior to me and more than that I hated tolerating such people. And here I was doing exactly the same. Fucking awesome!
The woman had the audacity to ignore me. She couldn't even afford to smile at me because apparently that would've cost her a million bucks. She even replied back impertinently to me. Acted as if we all are peasants doing a measly job and it would be a blow to her dignity if she involved herself with us.
"May I come in Sir?" Meera asked, knocking the door.
"You may."
"Your coffee." Meera kept the mug on the table and was about to leave. What's wrong with her?
"I didn't give you the permission to leave Meera." I said making her halt in her steps.
"I'm sorry Sir." She said in a low voice keeping her eyes on the floor.
"What's wrong with you?" I enquired.
"It's n-nothing."
"I'm sitting right in front of you and not on the floor below you. Look at me when I'm talking to you." I've been observing since last three days that something was off with her. She wasn't behaving like her normal self.
She looked up and I noticed that her eyes were welled up with unshed tears. Why is she crying? I didn't even shout on her. Great! Another person to get on my fucking nerves!
"What's your problem?" I tried my best to keep my voice under control when on inside I was fuming.
"Everything is fine-"
"Cut the crap Meera!" I slammed my palms on the table making her cringe."Just tell me what's the issue!" I demanded.
"You're, you're getting m-married." Her voice broke while speaking.
"So?" I narrowed my eyes in confusion.
"I l-love y-you." She whispered, her voice trembling and the tears flowed down her cheeks.
I blinked. I blinked again. And then I was filled with an unmeasurable amount of rage. "Have you lost your mind? Do you even know what you're even talking?" I screamed.
"I couldn't. I...I didn't know. I really." She couldn't complete her sentence as she started wailing uncontrollably.
"Stop it okay. Just stop it. Stop crying." I propped my elbows and rested my forehead against my palms in befuddlement. This was too much to take.
I knew she liked me, was attracted to me but then there were many women who were attracted to me so it wasn't something that I needed to take seriously. But love? This was a whole new level of foolishness and delusion! I was her boss and if not that I never had any such feelings towards her even remotely. Then what was she high on?
"Sir." I looked up to meet her eyes. She took a sharp intake of breath before continuing. "I'm sorry."
"Go on, I'm listening."
"It's my fault. I kept on hoping that maybe one day maybe....m-maybe," She trailed off but I understood the unspoken words.
"I get it. Continue." I said calmly.
"I promise you won't face any problem due to me. Just forget that I ever s-said anything l-like that." Her voice trembled slightly but she was quick to regain her composure. "You're my boss and I'm your secretary and I respect that. I will never cross my boundaries. Please forgive me. Don't f-fire me." She said softly, her voice carrying the sincerity behind her words.
I thought deeply. "Meera, I won't fire you because you've been dedicated and responsible towards your job since start. Get over me. It's not worth to hope for the impossible. Focus on your work and I expect that nothing of this sort will happen hereafter. You may leave."
"Thank you Sir."
Life is simple. It's filled with moments of happiness and sadness, it makes us face trials and tribulations, it rewards us for the good we do and punishes us for the mistakes we commit; maybe not instantly but it surely does someday. I believe that. But we, human beings are complicated. We try to avoid the inevitable, chase the impossible and forget to appreciate what we are truly blessed with.
It was baffling to think about what happened just now. Were her feelings really that deep or did she just mistaken infatuation with love? It was my engagement in the evening and here I am trying to process the unexpected and shocking revelation. There was a havoc inside me and with time, instead of ceasing it kept on increasing. Equation with my parents, Aarohi, the loss and now this. Life was more than peaceful before the marriage thing propped up and now peace was nowhere to be seen or found. It was like my monotonous, least interesting yet comfortable routine was hit by a truck and now I've no power over anything.
I fished out my phone trying to look for some distraction and groaned when I saw the time. It was already 1 pm and I had to leave the office to reach the venue. Ideally, I should've just gotten up from my chair and left but instead I opened my WhatsApp and my eyes spotted her profile picture. She didn't have her own photo as her profile picture but a quote which said 'the only person capable to fulfil all your expectations is yourself'. I chuckled internally. Ofcouse! This has to be her profile picture after all it describes her perfectly.
I scrolled through our chats, it wasn't much though and it was pretty formal. The memories hit me. Aarohi bickering with Kevin, smiling and laughing her heart out after learning about an embarrassing story about me, eating those ice-creams and savouring every bit of it, the way her hair splayed across her face and me tucking them behind her ear. She was enthralling, provoking but enthralling. It was hilarious to think that she was the same person who had annoyed me the most but now just thinking about her had brought an ineffable calmness and warmth inside me. I quickly typed in a message asking about her well being and left for Taj Hotel where our engagement was supposed to be held.
My mother looked quite fond of Aarohi. It was satisfying to see how easily she had accepted her and was getting along with her and that gave me a vivid hope that maybe my relationship with her could be better now. Maybe today I could try once again.
I immediately went to my parents room after reaching the venue. There were three people, my dad, my mom and me but the tension in the room was palpable. Talking with them when we were surrounded by outsiders or other people was easier than having a private conversation with them. It was awkward but more than that it was a subtle reminder of how things could've been today if she was present here. It would've been so much better. We would have been so much happier.
"You had a meeting today right? How did it all go?" My dad asked cutting through the thick tension, his voice void of any emotions.
"We lost the deal." I said in a low voice instantly grimacing and focusing my gaze on the wall to my side. Disappointing, that was all I was doing everytime.
My mother chuckled humorlessly which made me look at her bemusedly. "You've a habit of ruining things on important occasions, don't you?"
"Sandhya." Dad called her name sounding aghast.
"Mom, it wasn't anything much important and moreover it wasn't my fault m-"
"Excuses like always." She said in a monotone and rolled her eyes.
"Mom." I looked at her in disbelief.
"Stop trying Vihaan. Nothing you do will ever change what happened neither the distance between us will ever be erased." Her voice determined and firm.
"Mom, please." I pleaded, my own voice vulnerable and subdued.
"She left on her birthday. It could've been avoided only if you cared to tell us but you didn't Vihaan. You didn't." Her eyes turned glossy and she flopped down on the bed. Dad sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders comforting her. I wanted to go near her, hug her, cry to her, comfort her but I knew she wouldn't appreciate it. I choked back a sob and heaved a deep breath.
"You know right." I said softly. "It wasn't under my control. Nothing was. I miss her as much as y'all do. It wasn't my fault Mom, it wasn't. Please don't do this to me. Please." My voice came out as a whisper and I tugged on my lip trying to control the tears that threatened to spill out.
"I can't forget it Vihaan. It all could've been avoided. And that regret doesn't let me move on."
"Mom, you love me right!? Then please forgive me. I'm sorry. It hurts...a lot."
I kneeled down before her looking into her eyes which stared back into mine helplessly.
"You did so much for me, for my wedding. You even like the girl so much. You..you care for me right!? I know you do. Then please don't punish me like this. This indifference from you and Dad pains me. Let's start..afresh." I said hopefully.
She stood up abruptly that made me startle. "I do care for you. I really do! But that doesn't mean that I'll forget whatever happened and move on when everytime I see you, I just remember how things could've been different." She screamed in agony.
"This is unfair Mom. We all know that it wasn't my fault. It was her decision, her choice. I had nothing to do with it." I yelled back in frustration.
"Vihaan! She's your mother. Don't raise your voice. Be in your limits." Dad warned me.
"It's been freaking four years Dad! I don't deserve this. You know it very well but you never try much to make Mom understand this or make our relationship better. I didn't have any idea about her leaving all of us. You both know it." I cried out.
"Even Tina left because of you. Didn't she? Oh wait! You would again say that it was her choice and you'd no control over it." She mocked me.
My mouth fell agape at that. How could she say this? How could she compare two completely different and unrelated scenarios? Moreover how could she be so insensitive! This was heart wrenching. Even Dad looked at her in obfuscation.
"Sandhya. That was low." But Mom didn't pay any heed. Dad kept quiet. He didn't say anything either to me or her.
"You know what, you both sometimes make me feel as if I'm not your blood, as if I'm someone who is just a liability, as if I'm someone who has been adopted!" I vented out angrily and left the room, slamming the door behind me without waiting for their reactions.
I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. There was a tornado of emotions whirling inside me. It was torturous to keep trying hopelessly. The affliction wasn't something I deserved. Their indifference and aloof behavior tormented me. My parents were the most important, most beautiful people in my life and such detachment from their side always broke me. I didn't even know tears were flowing until I felt my vision turning blurry.
How bad was the day going to get? First the deal, then Meera, then my parents and now the mention of Tina. The girl was insufferable. I hated her. And my own mother hit me by bringing up the topic of my ex girlfriend when she knew how much I was affected when she left me. But then again I didn't have anyone to console me except Kevin. I needed my parents but they were too immersed in their own grief of their daughter leaving them that they didn't notice how difficult it would've been for me. Two precious people in my life whom I loved unconditionally, my sister and my girlfriend both left me in a span of two days. I was alone, all alone.
My phone beeped. It was a message from Kiara asking about Aarohi since she wasn't picking up Kiara's calls. I frowned. I wasn't in a state of talking to anybody right now. I opened our chat and typed in asking if everything is alright. She hadn't checked my previous message as well. Both the messages were delivered though. I put my phone aside. My thoughts again drifting towards the memories that angered me and brought me suffering. I checked my phone again after a few minutes. Message seen.
What the -
This was sheer incredulous. Here people are worried about her and she couldn't make a little effort to assure them.
She carries too much of attitude! Firstly, she ignores my existence and now my messages. What did she think of herself? When people make an effort towards you, value it and reciprocate it. But here all I get for my efforts is ignorance and insensitivity. All the pain and hurt I felt earlier was now replaced by bitterness and resentment. She could go on a date with a guy, hug him, be friendly with him but couldn't afford to reply back. Woah! I can't believe that I'm actually being interested in a woman who doesn't give two hoots about me. This isn't me. Dr Aarohi Sharma, you aren't any Queen and you definitely don't deserve this much importance.
You wanted me to not bother you!? So I won't. I don't care about you.
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