I gaped at the page in front of me, jaw slack, eyes unmoving from the cursive letters scribbled across the yellowed paper. A million thoughts ran through my head at once as I reread the words over and over, losing all sense of time and place. Nothing seemed to matter, not Peter, not the room I was in, not the way time passed with each wasted second. None of it was of any importance as I stared at what seemed like a perfect copy of the document only I was supposed to be in possession of.
How Chanyeol got it was a mystery to me, seeing as I was a hundred percent sure I've never given it into his hands, cherishing the last words of my parents dearly, and unwilling to share them with anyone else. Despite our turbulent relationship, I loved my parents dearly, and for my own pride and hurt, I never got to tell them that. Not once in all those years, I've spent away from them.
Their death broke me because I realized that all those times I spent resenting them for their wrongdoings (even if I understood the root of their distance to me), I could've spent in their presence. I could've visited them during the holidays, I could've called them instead of just picking up the phone when they'd call. I could've asked how they were doing, instead of wishing for the phone call to be over already.
Lisa talked to me about it once, and I couldn't stop her words from flashing in my mind for the hundredth time since their accident. Not since the murder of the last two people I had.
"I know they hurt you a lot and even if they had their reasons, what they did wasn't right. It wasn't fair to you, leaving you behind when you were also grieving," Lisa consulted me as I rested my head on her shoulder, both of us curled up on her bed in the middle of the night after I ended the call with my parents, "You have every right to be angry with them, I would be too, but this resentment you're harboring is only causing you pain, Rosie,"
Despite her words, I remained silent, not sure what I should say because even though she tried to help, I didn't think she truly understood, "I know you felt all alone all those years back, you told me just how much you struggled. You were just a kid then and as your parents, they should have been there for you. They shouldn't have shut you out just because it was hard for them. You needed them, yet they weren't there. They were selfish and only thought of their own pain, and I know that although you understand their reasons, it still haunts you. Don't act like it doesn't," she said knowingly, as I opened my mouth for the first time to speak.
"The way you cut off the call and the constant roll of your eyes was a clear sign. Not to mention you always turn down their invitations to spend the holiday at home. You might think you're over it, but you're not and to me, it's clear as day even if you refuse to acknowledge it,"
"You don't know what it's like," I shook my head, not irritated by the blonde's words, simply not interested in hearing more. Because as much as I was at peace with my past, I couldn't speak of it unless it was on my terms, and truly, I didn't want to talk about the two people who failed me the most.
"I don't," she conceded, "but I know what it's like not to have parents. I know that death isn't the ultimate end, that you only ever truly lose people when they choose to leave you behind. Ally is still here, maybe not physically, but she'll always be here," her hand reached down from my shoulder, tracing a circle above where my heart beat, "But it's different when they leave you willingly like you don't matter to them,"
Lisa stayed silent for a moment as if contemplating her words, but it was once she spoke again with her voice wavering slightly I realized it wasn't contemplation. It was a deep wound she was willing to explore once more for my own benefit, and I was touched by the gesture, just as much as I was hurt by the knowledge of what Lisa had to endure in her life. The knowledge that someone as kind and selfless as her has been left behind and made to feel like she wasn't enough, and I couldn't do anything about it other than remind her every day, she was everything to me.
"I might not know what it's like to have someone important be taken away, but I know what it's like to lose something. My parents they..." she stopped for a moment to compose herself, and I cuddled into her side further, hoping my presence would provide her with comfort, as I draped a hand over her stomach, "Before, I said that it didn't bother me as much because I didn't know what it was like to have a family, to begin with. But that isn't entirely true. I mean, I have eyes, you know," she sniffled and my heart ached for the girl who, despite all the hardships in her life, remained kind and innocent. Cheerful and full of life, even if it wasn't always genuine. Not until I showed up at least, she would say.
"All those movies, all the other parents I would see picking their kids up from school, all those parents in the books I've read; I knew what a family looked like. Despite never experiencing it myself, I knew it wasn't supposed to be like this. And after a while I realized they discarded me, that I wasn't good enough. That once it was clear I had no intention of being their perfect heir, I had no place in their hearts. I never knew what it was like to receive a loving hug from your mom or have your father give you a piggyback. The maids they hired brought me up and the only attention I ever got from them was when they'd give me gifts I never even asked for, to, I don't know, make up for their lack of presence, I suppose. As if that could fill the void they left behind,"
"Lisa, I'm-" I tried to console her as I made a move to sit up properly and look at her, but she cut me off and pulled me into her again.
"No, let me finish," she pleaded, and I nodded against her chest, tightening my hold on her, wishing that she could feel my love. That she knew she would never have to be alone again, "Once they realized I wasn't what they needed, they didn't want me anymore," Lisa concluded, wiping at her eyes swiftly as if trying to hide it from me.
"What I'm trying to say is, don't let anger hinder you. Don't let that hidden resentment, you might think you don't carry in your heart, hold you back. There's nothing to save for me, they don't want me and made it abundantly clear. But your parents, they realize their mistakes and they want to fix them, Rosie. I'm not saying you should forgive them because what they did is unforgivable, I'm just saying perhaps you should give it a try before it's too late," she paused and this time I didn't try to say anything in retaliation, instead gave her time to collect her thoughts.
"Night changes, Rosie. What is there one day, might not be the next. We don't know what the future holds. Do you really want to spend your life away from them? They're your family, they love you, and they want you back. You should talk to them before it's too late or you'll grow to regret it. I never got the chance to have proper parents, but you do. You can change how things are, don't let that go to waste,"
"What are you saying?" I asked quietly.
"I'm saying that you should give them a chance. Hear them out. Go spend the holidays with them next time. They want you, Rosie. Even if they made their mistakes in their past, they see them clearly and they want to make up for the time they have lost. They can't make it right, no one can, but they can try to be there now if you let them."
"Okay," I nodded against her chest, the sound of my voice muffled as I pressed a kiss into her chest.
"Yeah?" she asked gently and cupped my jaw to get me to look at her.
"Yeah," I smiled and leaned up, nudging her nose with mine, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to come home for Christmas," Lisa returned my smile and leaned down to kiss me but I put a finger against her lips before she could, "Under one condition,"
"What is it?" she asked curiously, her head tilting to the side adorably, as it always did, making my heart flutter at the sight.
"You'll come with me,"
She was right; I regretted it. All the times I would cut off the call before they'd even get the chance to finish their goodbyes. All the times I would decline their offers and invitations. I regretted never hearing them out and never making peace with them. Because even though Lisa helped open my eyes, it was too late then.
I didn't know back then that that conversation was the last one I would have with my parents. That I wouldn't come back home over winter break, bringing my girlfriend with me. I never got to make peace with my past because I realized my grudge too late. They died just a month later, and I did not once tell them I loved them. Never showed them I cared. And I had to live with that for the rest of my days.
Their will was the only personal thing they left behind. Within were the words they failed to tell me because I was too stubborn to let them. It held all the words I wished I could've heard with my own ears. I wanted to hear them say they were proud of me. I wanted to hear them acknowledge their mistakes and wanted to see them making the effort to make up for them. Then, more than ever, I wanted to move on. Wanted to get past the hurt and let the wounds become scars.
I wouldn't forget and forgive, but I would try not to live in the past. Lisa was right. What they did was inexcusable. I needed them and they weren't there and whatever their reason was; it wasn't good enough. The damage was done, but unlike Lisa's parents, mine saw it. I still had a chance at having a relationship with them, at least remotely close to how it used to be. But Lisa never would. And I knew she was right, that I would regret not taking the chance when I could have.
So I planned it all out then. Lisa and I would leave Los Angeles to come to Seoul. I would show her all my favorite places, introduce her as my girlfriend to my parents. She would be there with me, making it easier for me to take it all in. As always, she'd be the support system I needed and despite the reluctance, I kind of looked forward to it.
But then it never happened. They died suddenly, and all my plans shattered. Lisa was right again; the night changes. Who's here one day, might not be the other. And unfortunately, that's exactly what happened.
I woke up to a phone call one night, and that was it. That was the end of all my dreams of the future. One call, few words, and it all changed so drastically. They've given me all that I was supposed to see when we arrived, all the documents to sign. I did so absentmindedly, my heart still with my lover and my mind with those I've lost.
And I couldn't bring myself to read their will when they've given it to me, their voices gentle but falling upon deaf ears. I didn't read it for the next month, only stayed inside the empty, quiet house, grieving and wishing things were different. That I would've called, that I would've acted sooner. That I haven't had to leave, and that neither have they. Wishing that once I would have had opened my eyes, I would have woken up in Lisa's arms where everything was okay again.
But I haven't. No matter how much I prayed and hoped, none of it came true, and I got stuck in a life I didn't want. I read the will repeatedly, soaking it in my tears and almost ripping it to shreds on many occasions. Until I stopped. I couldn't bear the pain anymore, the guilt eating me up from the inside.
And so I complied with their wishes. I owed it to them after shunning them from my life and pretending they didn't exist. It was the least I could do for them. I distanced myself from the life I left behind, acted like it didn't matter, like the thought of leaving her forever didn't break me to pieces.
I would find peace at the bottom of liquor bottles when no one was looking, falling asleep in the arms of faux bliss just to do it all over again. It was just after I tied the knot with the man I didn't love, did I allow myself to face the reality, not seeking escape in the ultimate poison of lies and disorientation. I wouldn't let him see me that way. My parents would want me to honor my husband, to be a good wife to represent him.
So I swallowed my bitterness and my pride, buried the memories, and moved forward with my life, unknowingly moving down to my grave. I haven't read the will after that. Not once have I cast a look at it after the marriage, not until now at least. Nevertheless, I was positive about where I left it, just how I was positive I was the only one who had it.
I felt uneasy, anxious even, as my hands trembled with the page firmly grasped in my fingers. It was only when I heard the door shut close upstairs that I was brought out of my trance. I wasn't sure how I managed to put everything back to place in time, but I did, and I jumped on the couch just as Peter descended down the stairs and came to view.
He looked at me skeptically as I panted and smiled, my lips twitching, "What?"
"Nothing," he said firmly, shaking his head as he moved to the kitchen and retrieved a water bottle.
"You done with your call, hotshot?"
"Clearly," he stated, annoyed.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom," I informed him, though I wasn't required to, and I mentally slapped myself because what was in elementary school to be letting people know? Might as well have asked for his permission.
Peter quirked his brow. But I didn't say anything, instead opted on reprimanding myself as I walked up the stairs and headed to the bathroom that I knew we had our medicine cabinet at. I didn't need it for me, but for Peter. Because with the newly acquired knowledge, I couldn't sit idly. Not to mention it was only a question of time until Chanyeol noticed his phone was gone. I needed to move fast.
As I reached the bathroom, I locked it behind me and pulled the phone out, holding the button on its side for a few seconds before the screen lit up. I waited a couple of beats but when it turned on; I was met with a passcode. It wasn't the usual four-number passcode either, but a custom alphanumeric code that I was positive I wouldn't get past. It was just how I expected, and that's why I headed into this particular bathroom in the first place.
Because as soon as I gained my wits back, I knew I needed to get out of here. That I needed to get access to the phone that would surely be locked. And though it was really silly, kind of funny, and childish, I could only think of one way of separating Peter from his phone. Really, he should thank me for what I was about to do next, seeing as I was helping him with his cell phone addiction.
I rummaged through the cabinet until I spotted the drops, "Bingo," I grinned as I turned the box over to look at the date. The drops thankfully weren't expired, and I sighed in relief upon that, knowing I wouldn't be able to retrieve the phone otherwise.
Taking the glass bottle out of the container and stuffing it into my pocket, I placed the box back into the cabinet. After securing what I came for, I made my way back downstairs, where I found Peter leaning against the counter, as per usual, phone in hand.
"I think I saw something weird when I was upstairs," I confessed quietly, as if not wanting the imaginary threat on the second floor to hear.
"What?"
"I don't know, it was like a shadow. I thought it was nothing but I could've sworn I heard something."
"It was probably just a bird," he shrugged and turn his attention back to the device.
"Can you just please go check? Isn't this your job, anyway?"
"My job is to look out for you, not bird watching,"
"Could you please just go," I groaned in annoyance, "I feel uneasy,"
"You are aware there's no one here, right? This apartment has various security defenses in place, not to mention I scan the place just to be sure every few minutes. Trust me, it was nothing,"
"Arent you supposed to aid me?"
"What?"
"I mean, how would my husband feel if I told him I felt unsafe, and you did nothing to help?"
He looked me dead in the eye and I held the eye contact, silently challenging him to stay put if he dared. After a few moments, he looked upstairs and then back at me, frustration clearly visible across his face, "Fine. Stay here,"
As soon as he moved out of sight, I leaped after the half-full water bottle, unscrewing the cap on both the plastic and the glass bottle with the drops. Knowing I probably only had about 30 more seconds, I didn't waste any time and held the small ampoule upside down, letting a few drops fall into the water and watching them dissolve in the liquid.
Once I heard his steps coming closer to the staircase, I quickly screwed the cap back on and hid the drops in my pocket, stepping away from the water bottle just in time, "So?" I questioned when he came back.
"There was nothing there, just like I told you," he informed and took a large gulp of his water.
"Thank you for checking," I said sweetly.
"Whatever,"
Not more than ten minutes later, I watched Peter's eyes go wide as he ran upstairs, almost tripping over his own feet, the sound of a door slamming shut soon following. Smiling smugly, I retrieved the unlocked phone from the kitchen counter (Peter not locking in it in his rush, just how I assumed) and opened the contacts app, tapping on the keypad option.
Putting the numbers in from memory, I dialed Lisa's number, waiting for her to pick up, this time not worried about the time full well knowing Peter would occupy the bathroom for a while. After four rings, she picked up the phone and her melodious voice flowed out of the speaker, "Yes? Who is this?"
"Hey," I smiled gently upon hearing her voice and I could only imagine her eyes going wide with realization.
"Rosie?"
"That's me," I chuckled.
"What number are you—" the line went silent for a moment and I assumed she checked the number to make sure it wasn't mine, "What number is this?"
"Chanyeol found out I was in contact with you and took my phone. I had to improvise," I shrugged despite her not being able to see.
"Fuck, are you okay? Has he hurt you? God, I'm so sorry I never should have—"
"Slow down," I laughed, "No one has hurt me, don't worry,"
"Really?" she sounded surprised, making me laugh a little harder.
"Why do you sound surprised?"
"Is that a serious question?" her voice sounded confused, slightly confusing me as well, "Rosie, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Anyway, I don't have time for chitchat, I need to see you,"
"What?"
"I need to see you," I repeated.
"No, I heard that just... What?"
"There is something I need to talk to you about and you're good with computers, right? So you're the only one who can help me,"
"Rosie, I'm a photographer. What makes you think I'm good with computers,"
"You use Photoshop," I stated matter-of-factly, "kind of makes you an expert,"
"You flatter me," Lisa chuckled on the other line, the sound making my smile broaden, "but no, it doesn't,"
"So you don't know how to crack phone passwords?"
"I'm not a hacker,"
"So that's a no?" I asked, disappointed.
"So that's a no."
"Fuck," I cursed, running a hand through my hair.
"Why? What do you need?"
"I'm not sure if I should tell you over the phone,"
"What's going on? You're scaring me,"
"Do you know anyone who could get into a locked phone?" I asked instead.
The line stayed silent for a while and just as I was about to check if she ended the call, I heard the other woman heave a sigh, "I do," she admitted, "but you're not going to like it,"
"Great!" I beamed, "Are you at the office right now?"
"No, I'm at home. I didn't have to come in today,"
"Okay, I'm coming. Call your contact, tell them it's urgent okay?"
"Rosie, just tell me what's going on. I'm more than just a little concerned. What are you up to?"
"Look," I sighed, "I promise I'll tell you everything, just not like this. I'll see you in a few minutes, okay? I'll be there as fast as I can,"
"Okay..."
"Oh, and Lisa?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't call this number again," with that, I ended the call, deleting it from recent calls, and placed it back on the counter.
It was then I realized I could've changed before executing my plan, so I wouldn't be running around in sweatpants, but to hell with it. Who cared? Besides, Lisa took it upon herself on numerous occasions to tell me just how great my ass looked in them, so maybe she'd like the reminder.
Walking to the door, I grabbed a coat and my keys before slipping out of the apartment. After a few steps, I reached Michaels's office and knocked on the door, not having to wait long before the tall man opened it and stared at me in shock, "Chaeyoung what are you— Where is Peter?"
"Probably shitting out his intestines," I snorted, but Michael didn't look amused in the slightest, "We have to go," I informed him.
"What? Where? What is going on? You're going to get in—"
"You're getting fired in just a few days anyway, right? So it doesn't matter. Just take your car keys and let's go before he notices I'm gone."
"Chaeyoung—"
"Now."
Despite his clear reluctance, he nodded his head in submission as he walked back inside and emerged just a few seconds later, keys firmly grasped in his fist.
"So, are you going to tell me where we're going?" he asked as the car door slammed behind him.
Grinning, I turned to face the confused (and visibly concerned) man behind the steering wheel, "Lisa's place."
"You're insane,"
"Marriage does that to a person," I joked and this time he laughed, well more like snorted, as he turned the key in the ignition.
"You're unbelievable,"
...
"Hey," Lisa greeted warily upon opening the door but despite her obvious concerns she pulled me into her, wrapping her arms around me tightly without a single care about who saw.
"Hi," I smiled into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent and nuzzling into the soft skin, having missed her immensely during the time we've spent apart, "I missed you," I vocalized my thoughts and her hold around me tightened almost reflexively.
"I missed you too," she expressed, making my smile widen.
"What happened?" she questioned as she pulled on my shoulders to look me in the eye, "Are you okay? I thought you said it wasn't safe for you to come here right now? Did he do something to you? Are you hurt? Is—"
"Lisa," I cut her off, calling her name sternly but keeping the smile on my face present, "I'm okay, nothing happened," I assured and though I expected her to relax visibly, she didn't. If anything, she seemed to tense up even more and not even my touch seemed to relax the short-haired woman.
"Let's talk inside," she spoke finally, moving aside and letting both me and Michael - who was standing a few feet away - inside her apartment.
As soon as my feet crossed the threshold, I felt something rub against my calves, the gentle sound of purring accompanying the movement, and my eyes fell down to the grey cat instantly, "Hey, Leo," I crouched down, scratching behind his left ear just how he liked it, the cat nuzzling the inside of my hand at the contact and meowing softly in content.
"It's strange how quickly he warmed up to you considering how scared and shy he usually is," Lisa commented as she passed me in the hallway, and as if to prove my point the cat jumped away and ran to the other side of the room as it noticed Michael standing behind me, not moving further into the apartment.
Smiling to myself, I stood back up again and moved down the hallway, "Make yourself comfortable Michael," Lisa smiled politely and gestured to the couch, "If you'd like anything to drink there's soda, and beer in the fridge,"
"Thanks." the taller man nodded his head at the raven before moving to the living room, and as soon as I made a move to join him, Lisa's voice stopped me.
"Can we talk?"
I nodded wordlessly and walked over to the bedroom, hopefully out of Michaels's earshot, not wanting him to hear what we'd talk about despite not knowing what it was yet. When I reached her and she fiddled with her hands nervously in front of her, I reached for her, setting my hands above hers in an attempt to calm her. The touch made her head snap up and look at me. But she didn't say anything, opting for staring instead.
After a minute passed and both of us stayed silent, I raised my brows questioningly, prompting for the younger to speak, causing her to sigh and look to the side. Seemingly frustrated, she raked her fingers through her hair, and I could practically see the wheels in her head turning as she thought about how to breach the subject.
Finally, after a few more seconds, she looked back at me and spoke, "You can't be here," she informed, making me frown, "I wanted to see you and I'm happy I did, but Rosie, you know more than anyone how dangerous this is. Unless we figure out what to do, you can't run away like this,"
Lisa seemed genuinely sorrowful as she cupped my cheek and I nuzzle against her palm habitually, "I don't want you getting hurt,"
Shaking my head, I opened my eyes, meeting her worried ones, and smiled reassuringly, "I won't get hurt,"
"You just ran away," she stated the obvious, "Without his permission; without your assigned bodyguard. Rosie, this will have severe consequences, you know that. Why would you risk coming to see me when you know what he's capable of? I can't protect you from him. Not like this. You're just going to get hurt again." she pulled her hands away from me, gripping at the roots of her hair tightly, frustration getting to her once again and I was slightly confused about what caused the reaction. Didn't she want to see me?
"I'm going to be just fine Lisa," I said firmly, not wanting to talk about this anymore, "Why would I be hurt? I'm a human being. He can't keep me caged. So I went out. What is he going to do about it? Nothing. So he's going to yell at me, so what?"
Lisa shook her head more vigorously this time, her face etched in anger that I knew wasn't directed at me but hurt nonetheless because I couldn't help but feel like she hated the fact I interrupted her afternoon, "We both know that's not the only thing he'll do," she seethed.
"What?"
"Why are you acting so obliviously, Rosie?" she accused, and I folded my arms in front of my chest, beginning to feel a little annoyed, "You already told me about it, you really don't have to lie for my sake. I just don't understand why you would come here when you know what he's going to do. It's not fucking worth it and I can't do anything to help you!"
"Wow, okay. I'm sorry I came to see you then. Sorry to have ruined your day. I'll just get what I need and go," rolling my eyes, I moved to step away, but Lisa's hand on my wrist stopped me.
"We both know that's not what this is about,"
"What is it about then?" I challenged, "You clearly didn't want to see me, that's what this is about."
"You know that's not true." she shook her head sadly.
"What is it then?"
"Isn't it obvious? I don't want him hurting you!"
My brows furrowed in confusion upon the admission, annoyance and hurt wavering, "What? Lisa, he's not hurting me," I chuckled.
"Why are you lying to me?"
"I'm not?"
"No? Then what are these marks, huh?" she motioned to the purple mark on my neck before she nodded towards my other wrist, colored green by the bruise.
"I fell out of bed the other night," I shrugged.
"Bullshit. He hurt you again and you're pretending like it didn't happen!"
"What are you talking about, Lisa? Again? He's never hurt me like that. I know you he's an asshole, but that's a bit of a stretch,"
"Never?" she scoffed, "Because it's so normal to get a bruise in the shape of a hand on your neck while falling,"
"That's..." I hated to admit that she had a point, but it was stupid, just a coincidence. I mean, I would have known if he hurt me, I wasn't stupid, "That's..." she kept looking at me expectantly, "That's just a coincidence."
"Even you don't believe that. Why should I? Especially after I've seen you before. I don't know why you're acting like he isn't doing this to you but—" she trailed off, her eyes widening in realization. No, not realization, epiphany even as her hand fell to her side limply, leaving my wrist. At that, I couldn't help myself but step closer and place a hand on her forearm and asking her whether she was okay.
"You don't remember, do you?" she ignored my questions and my brows furrowed.
"Remember what?"
"Shit," she breathed and sat at the edge of the bed, her eyes fixed at the wall in front of her, "Shit," she echoed.
"Lisa, what is it? You're scaring me,"
"I don't know if I should tell you," she spoke quietly.
"Tell me what?"
"The truth,"
"What truth? Lisa, what are you talking about?"
"Do you know what I did?" she asked, once again ignoring my question, "What my brother did?"
"Yeah, I do and I'd really rather not talk about this right now," I sighed as I remembered the fateful night that changed Lisa's and mine relationship for the worse again. It was strange, though, how I recalled nothing but the conversation we shared on her doorstep. I didn't remember any of the other details from that night, but I shrugged it off.
"Do you remember what happened when I first came to see you?"
"Yeah, I told you why I left and we came here," I answered, but it sounded more like a question as I became even more confused by these questions. She was there. Why was she asking me about it?
"What else?"
"You threw me out?"
"No," Lisa shook her head, "Before that. At the penthouse,"
"I told you—" I started but stopped as I tried to recall the night and realized I was missing a part, "I was-..." I tried again but the words I felt at the tip of my tongue wouldn't leave my mouth. I couldn't remember, and my brows furrowed in confusion and concentration as I racked my brain for answers.
Noticing my silence, Lisa spoke again, "I asked you why you left after we had sex. You told me you couldn't tell me. Do you remember that?"
I nodded my head meekly and Lisa continued, "You moved to walk away, but I grabbed your arm and you winced. I didn't grab you that hard. I knew I couldn't have possibly hurt you. So I peeled off your shirt..."
"And you saw the bruise," I finished for her, my eyes welling up with tears, "The bruise..." I repeated and my knees buckled, Lisa catching me just before I got the chance to hit the ground and placed me on the bed next to her, "There was," I gulped, "a bruise... on my arm... and... all over,"
I felt my tears fall, the warm droplets grazing my skin and wetting my lips as I stared off to space, memories filling my head as I began uncovering the truth hidden away from me. Every slap, every punch, every kick, and every touch. I remembered them so vividly and shuddered as I could've sworn I felt them on my skin again. My lips trembled as I found it hard to breathe, my shoulders shaking as the image of his angry face flashed before my eyes.
Annabeth. He was the cause. I fell to the ground as he pushed me, pulled my hair, kicked me, raped me. I remembered it all, "No..." I shook my head, the memories overwhelming me, "no..." a sob wrecked itself through my body, "he-..."
"Shh," I heard Lisa's gentle voice from beside me as she wrapped her arm around me, pulling me into her side. But not even she could calm me now, as those painful memories flashed before my eyes. Me falling to the ground in pain. Make-up artists fawning over my busted lip. Green and purple marks donning my body as if I was a canvas. His hands on me, as he forced himself on me. He inside me, as he grunted in pleasure while I pleaded for him to stop.
"Lisa..." I choked out and turned my head to the side, burying it in the familiar warmth of her neck, "He... his— I... Anna... beth,"
"Shh," she cradled me in her arms, and I felt a warm droplet land on the top of my head, letting me know she was crying as well, "I'm right here. I'm right here, Rosie,"
"He's going to—" I sobbed out, my heart-wrenching in my chest painfully, "I can't... go back... he will..." this time she didn't say anything, knowing I was right. There was nothing she could do. Eventually, I would have to come back and face the same treatment as before, and the thought made me want to slit my wrists. I couldn't take it again, I just couldn't. Not anymore.
"Stay here," Lisa pleaded suddenly, causing me to pull away from her and look into her red, puffy eyes. And without thinking, I reached forward, my fingers brushing against her delicate skin and catching the falling tears with my thumbs as my eyes searched hers, "Stay with me,"
"You know I can't," I shook my head, tears rolling down my own cheeks as I leaned my forehead against hers, breathing in her scent.
This time, Lisa shook her head against mine, "He can't touch you here, he won't be able to hurt you. I'll protect you if he tries. He—"
"He'll hurt you, Lisa," I disagreed, "I can't risk that,"
"He won't. I can take care of myself. He can't do anything to me. And if he does, that will only give me that more of a reason to sue him or something. Just please," she pleaded desperately, "Stay here. You don't have to go back, you don't have to live like that,"
"I can't, Lisa," I cried quietly, "I can't,"
"Yes you can," the raven contradicted, her hands cupping my cheeks, causing me to open my eyes and meet hers, "He can't drag you out of here. We can figure this out together, you just can't go back again," she must've noticed my reluctance, and she pressed, "Rosie, he will kill you. This will kill you eventually."
"It doesn't matter,"
"How can you say that?" her voice broke, "Rosie, how can you say that?"
"Because it's true,"
"No," she shook her head, and I felt her lips tremble against mine, "It matters. It means everything to me. You can't just," she sobbed and my heart wrenched at the sound, the pain far greater than when recalling my memories as I watched her cry, knowing I was the cause of it. But I was right, I meant what I said, and I wouldn't deny it. So all I could do was wipe her tears away as she wept.
"I need you," she choked out.
"No, you don't," I smiled sadly, caressing her cheek.
"I do," she disagreed, "Rosie I—" before she could finish her sentence, the bell rang and she hung her head down, with a disappointed sigh.
"I'll get it," Michael, apparently undisturbed, called from the living room and I let go of Lisa's face as I stood up and wiped at my face.
"Come on," I stretched out my hand for the raven to take, "Let's go," but Lisa just shook her head stubbornly, making me sigh. Crouching in front of her, I placed an index finger under her chin, raising her head so she would look at me. My heart ached as I took her in. I've never seen her in such pain before, so helpless and miserable. This Lisa in front of me was anything but the Lisa I once knew, the happy, dorky girl who was basically a walking ray of sunshine. And it was all my fault.
From the start, I've ruined her. Broke her trust and her heart. And now I was hurting her all over again. She was broken-hearted, and it was all my fault. I hated myself for making her this way. Before I could say anything though, Lisa pulled my hand away from her chin, bring it up to her lips instead, kissing it softly, making my insides melt despite her despairing appearance, "I'm not letting you leave today,"
I opened my mouth to argue but before I could say anything, another voice filled the apartment and though I didn't recognize it at first, my eyes widened as I connected the voice to the face.
"Hello, Chaeyoung,"
-
A/N: Just out of curiosity, where are you guys from?