I swiftly sat up in the bed, waking up in a panic. The sheets were drenched in sweat and my heart was pounding in my chest.
I tried to take deep breaths as I pulled my knees closely to myself.
Another fucking nightmare...
I felt the tears come creeping back, but I didn't want them to. I forced myself out of the bed and turned on the lamp, realizing for the first time that Kakashi wasn't here.
He was supposed to wake me up and we were supposed to head out tonight to start tracking Sasuke and Orochimaru...
I sighed as I put on my shoes and went down for to the receptionist for a new set of sheets.
I didn't know if we were still leaving tonight or not, but if we were staying another night, I didn't want Kakashi to know I had a nightmare. And the sweat-soaked sheets would definitely give it away.
I walked back to the room and began to change the linens, taking my time in doing so. My entire body ached for some reason and my head was pounding.
Every time I had a nightmare it was like being back in Itachi's Tsukuyomi, and it had the same after-effects too. That genjutsu was so powerful it was actually terrifying...
"You're up," Kakashi called as he walked into the room.
"Mm."
"Did something happen?" he asked as he watched me switch out the last of the pillowcases.
I just shook my head as I finished.
"I brought dinner," he held up a couple bags.
I smiled softly, "Thanks. Um, I'm going to shower real quick, but I really appreciate it."
I locked the bathroom door and let myself cry freely underneath the warmth of the water. I had pretty much slept the entire day yet still felt utterly drained, mentally and physically.
I quickly changed and walked out into the hotel room. I would've stayed in the shower for much longer if Kakashi hadn't brought food back for me, but he did, and I didn't want to be rude.
He had pulled out the small desk and placed the chairs on either side of it. He was in the midst of placing the food onto the table where I assumed he wanted us to eat.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
"Yea, thanks."
He smiled a bit, "Has anyone ever told you you're a terrible liar?"
I couldn't help but let out a soft laugh, "Yea, I'm actually well aware."
"As long as you know," he smiled as he sat down.
I took the seat across from him and began to eat the food he got us.
"Thanks again for getting this," I said as I took another bite.
"It's no problem. I figured you'd be hungry."
I was in the midst of chewing when he took off his mask and started to eat his own food. The absolute
shock of seeing his face sent me into another coughing fit as I choked on my food.
He smiled as he passed me a glass of water for the second time today.
"Holy shit," I muttered as I kept coughing through small laughs, trying to take a drink. "Please stop surprising me while I'm eating. I clearly can't handle it."
He laughed with me, "For a shinobi, you're very easily caught off guard."
"In my defense, I'm always mid-bite!"
I rested my head in my hands and stared at his face, enjoying the view that the mask always blocked. His jaw was strong, but his features were so soft.
The scar over his left eye stretched down a lot further than I thought it would, and there was a small beauty mark on his chin, right below his lips.
And his lips... they were so perfect. No wonder he was such an amazing kisser.
"So you wear a mask because your attractiveness would just be too distracting or what?" I smiled at him.
He smirked as he took another bite, clearly enjoying my awe-filled reaction.
"Mm, no, I bet it's cover all the nosebleeds you get reading Icha Icha in public," I teased.
He looked at me with wide-eyes, a bright blush coming to his cheeks.
I laughed at the cuteness, "Oh my god! I've never seen you blush without your mask!! You're so cute!"
"I am not cute," he narrowed his eyes at me before smirking again. "I'm handsome."
"Very," I bit my lip softly. "So, you decided to show me your face after all? I'm not going to lie, I thought you were upset with me earlier."
"Oh no, I definitely was."
"Wait really!? Why!?"
"Because, well, you're so.... aloof."
"Aloof? Who even uses the word aloof, Kakashi," I laughed at him.
"See, that's what I mean. I describe you as distanced and detached, and you ignore it completely. I just never know what you're feeling."
I sighed as I thought about his words... He wasn't wrong. I know how cold and apathetic I can seem. Aloof was the perfect word honestly. Impressive.
"I know, I'm sorry I'm not very good a communicating my emotions."
"No, you're very good at it. I just have to pull it out of you. If I don't ask very specific questions, you don't ever reveal anything. It's just the bare minimum."
I nodded and took a deep breath, a little disappointed that he saw me in such a negative light.
"So what does this have to do with your mask?" I asked him, trying to make it all make sense.
He shrugged, "I wanted you to see more of me and who I am. Now, maybe you'll trust me with a little more of yourself too."
I smiled softly as I looked into his beautiful, dark eyes, "That's very thoughtful of you."
"Do you think it'll actually work?" he smirked at me.
"Kakashi..." I trailed off thinking very carefully about my next words. He was looking at me with such concerned eyes, but he had no reason to worry.
He was everything to me. I just didn't know how to tell him that. He's all I'd been able to think about for almost 2 years now...
And the more time I spent with him, the more I knew exactly how I felt. I thought that all this time I was showing it, or at the very least hinting at it.
But I guess I'd have to say it for him to really understand. And words honestly weren't my strong suit. I was better at showing my emotions than anything else.
"Do you really not know how much you mean to me?" I asked in a soft voice.
"I'm not sure I understand."
"Kakashi, I'd be completely lost without you. I don't know why I assumed you knew, but you're everything to me."
"Y/n..." he trailed off as he looked at me intensely. I didn't want him to have any doubts, so I kept talking.
"You asked me yesterday if I had been in love, and the real answer is I stopped believing in love the day Itachi left, but you...you made me feel like falling in love is possible."
"Everyday, you're the one who keeps me going. You're the one I want, Kakashi."
As soon as I finished saying his name, he quickly leaned across the small desk between us and grabbed my face, bringing me into a desperate, desirous kiss.
I smiled as he pulled apart briefly, "I'll take that as you feel the same?"
"Beautiful and smart. How lucky am I?" he teased as he walked around the table and pulled me to my feet, wrapping his arms around waist.
I laced my arms around his neck as he leaned in to kiss me again. It was a lot gentler this time as if he was trying to savor every second of it.
His tongue carefully entered my mouth, exploring it without hesitation. We moved in perfect sync, and I felt like his lips were made for mine.
I moaned softly as he bit my lip before pulling away. "If you keep kissing me like that, there's no way we're leaving on this mission tonight," I huffed out happily.
He laughed as he picked me up and laid me on the bed, "Yea, we're not going anywhere."