THIRD PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW
Kim Nari does not want to go to school.
But much to her dismay---- her father had drop her off since Yuri have already left.
The blond girl lazily walks towards the campus with her eyes on the ground and no smile appearing to her lips. Her heart is heavy and all she wanted to do is just cry.
Yuri's right. It is my fault
Nari thought
The girl inhaled proceeding to walk when Han Seo Jun caught up with the girl with a smile on his face that was soon washed off once he saw Nari. He was about to thank her for what she did to his sister but it's clear that now's not a good time.
Today is one of those days where Nari would feel the loneliest. Where no ounce of happiness nor energy is inside her. She just honestly want to jump off the cliff just to stop the suffering she's feeling.
" Nari " Seo Jun spoke but he only got ignored as the girl continued to walk pass him
He sighed before walking towards the girl, in front of her causing for Nari to stop walking. Nari slowly moved her gaze up meeting Seo Jun's brown eyes.
And there he saw the sadness dancing behind her eyes. Something that most people don't even notice even when she's all smiley and cheerful. He have saw it before but today--- it's sadder to the point that it's painted all over her face.
Nari then forced a smile at him " what? do you need anything? "
Something's obviously wrong, your fake smile is not fooling me
he thought
" uh... " he trails as he finds the right word to say " I-- I-- "
" you what? " she softly ask as the fake smile she showed him earlier is no longer there
" Do--- do you need a ha--- "
" LOOK! IT'S HAN SEO JUN WITH KIM NARI " Cho Rong suddenly yelled with a squeal as the rest of Seo Jun's friends went towards the two cheering at them in a teasing manner
" YA " Seo Jun hiss glaring at his friends but mostly to Cho Rong
" Is it okay if we talk later? I'll see you around " Nari stated before walking away from him and his friends
" aish " seo jun hissed in annoyance as his eyes follows Kim Nari, elbowing Cho Rong causing him to yelp in pain " WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INTERUPT? "
NARI'S POINT OF VIEW
Would it be considered selfish if I say I remember some parts from the past? Will they get angry since I've always said that I don't remember a single thing from before?
Yes. I lied.
But that's only because I only remembered all the ugly details of my past.
More specifically how my parents would always compare me to my twin.
Out of all things I would and could remember--- It just had to be that.
It was the reason why I'm always out and about, rarely home and flirting with different guys. It was my way to distract myself from hurting, from carrying the pressure and the pain that it's been done to me.
They say--- It's fun to have a twin sister.
You two could dress the same, switch places for the day or just because it is--- cool.
It is fun to have a twin. I am happy to have a twin. But it's hard when your parents would constantly compare you to her, would have their attention more on her and less on me.
It's too obvious. I don't feel like I'm needed at home so i rather be out with my friends and flirt with boys, enjoying the attention they'd give me.
Because I couldn't have attention at home so I was seeking it to others.
Pathetic. I really am pathetic.
I don't want to be insecure to my twin, for fuck sake she's my sister but how can I not when everything around me seemed to only revolve around her.
What about me?
So I was surprised when I woke up from coma, my parents are actually worried of me. Their attention is now set on me.
The attention I was craving before arrived at the wrong time.
Because turns out, Yuri also needed that attention. She was hurting too but my parents made it seem like her pain is not equal to mine.
It's hard to wake up just to hear that my twin's no longer in Seoul. And how Se Yeon died.
Believe me when I tried to reach out via call and video call, but for the very first time-- she had shut me out. I saw how angry she was with me, I just thought that maybe now everything's finally falling back in place.
I was wrong. clearly.
She's still angry. After all-- she is right. It is my fault for not leaving that damn plane.
It is my fault for not being there for her when she needed me the most.
I don't even remember why I was on that fucking plane in the first plane. Who was I with? Was I alone?
Even I pity myself. I really am pathetic and couldn't be more miserable.
I shouldn't have fought the temptation to not jump off the building that night.
All the attention and care that I had finally received from everyone only made me guilty and more depress. Not only I am pathetic but also a burden to everyone.
Yuri should've been making time to properly heal herself from what happened to Se Yeon, my father should've been at states for a 2 month project, and my mother should've been working worried free and not texting me all the time just to ask if I'm alright.
5th.
That's what my rank said. Obviously, Yuri's one step ahead of me. Oh how I'd love to hear my parents compare my grades to her once again.
I crumpled the paper without hesitation before throwing it on the ground which Ju Kyung had notice.
" Nari " Joo trails and picked up the crumpled paper " why did you crumple your grade sheet? "
I let out a force smile giving the paper a quick glance " I don't need it "
" Your parents will ask for thi-- "
" I'll take it " a low voice said behind me as I caught the familiar hands take the crumpled paper
I slowly turn behind me, my eyes meeting Han Seo Jun's cat eyed shape brown eyes. I gulp as i try to search for -- just even a slightest amount of pity behind them--- but none.
Why is he so different from the others?
Usually once people figure out who I am and what happened to me, they'd give me the pity glance and small frowns.
But him.. he's just.. really staring at me.
How can someone's stare makes me feel less miserable?
Is that even possible?
" Nari.. are you alright? you seemed to be zoning out since you arrived " Ju Kyung frown
I gently placed my chopstick down looking at her, feeling my friends gaze look at me
" I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? "
I tear my gaze away from Ju Kyung's stare and pushed myself to eat the food in front of me. I don't have an apatite but I can't just tell them that I don't have one, they'd worry and ask questions.
I've done enough to worry people around me. I'm too much of a burden, I really don't want to bother anymore.
" I'll just visit the restroom " i lie as i slowly stand up
" by the way... why isn't Yuri joining us to lunch? " Sua asked with a frown
I flinched at my sisters name and heavily breathed as I think of an excuse but before I could talk, my sister--- who just arrived, beat me to it.
" Because I don't want to eat with her "
I watch as the three's eyes widen in shock, sua choking not believing what just left Yuri's lips. Yuri placed her tray beside Soo Jin before sending me a look.
" You're leaving right? Good " Yuri stated as she sat " I don't want you near me "
I felt a pang on my chest giving my three friends a tight smile before turning around and walking away from them and out of the canteen. Trying my very best to not let a single fucking tear, fall.
But I got betrayed. I don't have that much energy to stop my tears from falling.
So I hid on the wall behind the school and just let them run down my cheeks as i clutch my chest with my closed fist.
It's like I no longer have control over my emotions as if it's been a while since i've let them all out. I must've been tired from holding it all in and acting like it's nothing.
I drop down resting my elbows on my knees as I wipe the tears away which is completely useless since my tears continuous to stream down my cheeks as I sob with my chest moving up and down as i --- at the same time-- catch my breath.
Once again, my twin sister is right.
That this is all my fault and I'm a burden to everyone around me that all I do is make them worry.