Journal Entry #62
December 10, 1941
With what happened three days ago, I've been tossing and turning in my sleep, which has led me to write this in the early morning.
Believe it or not, that day still haunts me.
Today is the funeral for the people, soldiers, nurses, etc., that have fallen because of the attack on Pearl.
My thoughts are all scattered as my heart is in the same shape.
When Danny and I kissed, I still felt the spark when our lips touched. Just the simple, light spark that people feel when they kiss the person they love.
Love.
It seems like a silly emotion. One minute your heart is filled with joy and happiness, then the next, your heart is frayed and crushed.
So why does it destroy so many people?
Why does it hurt so much?
What am I saying.
Love is a dangerous emotion. It can make you feel like you are living on top of the world, or leave you falling off of cloud 9.
But the best thing I need to do right now, is to stop thinking about it, or it's going to consume me completely until it drowns me.
I should head to bed and at least get a couple hours of sleep in.
Signed,
Emiellia Rogers
I shut my journal and place the pen next to it, and run my fingers through my light brown hair. I look up at the alarm clock to see it was a quarter past 2, as I quietly sigh, and got up from my seat and silently made my way to the kitchen, hoping not to wake anyone.
Luck wasn't on my side as I heard the light patter of feet hitting on the hardwood floor and I turn to see Evelyn standing there, as she rubs her eyes, getting used to the lighting in the room.
"Ev, what are you doing up at this hour?" I ask her quietly.
"I can't sleep, how about you? Why are you up at 2:26 in the morning?" She asked back.
I lightly chuckle and look at her, then turn around, grabbing two mugs from the top cupboard and place them onto the counter.
"I can't sleep either." I admit.
I hear her footsteps approaching me as I only focus on grabbing milk from the fridge. I place it on the counter and Evelyn lightly grab my wrist, and I stop and look at her.
"What?" I asked her, but she didn't say anything, as she pulled me into a hug. Hesitantly, I wrap my arms around her and lay my chin on top of her head.
"Honestly Emi, I'm scared. That's why I can't sleep." She told me as she lightly sobbed on my shoulder.
Bringing my hand up, I start rubbing small circles on her back, and whispering calming words in her ear.
"Plus, the funeral today has me tossing and turning thinking about it." Knowing what she was talking about, I squeeze her a little tighter.
"I know, but don't worry about it okay? She's in a better place and you couldn't help what happened to her. Plus, I'm pretty sure that worry and stress isn't good on the baby." I tell her and she lets out a small chuckle.
"Yeah, you're right."
We stayed there for a couple more minutes, until I heard her lightly yawn, and we broke apart as I lead her back into her bed and told her a goodnight, before retreating back to my own bed, forgetting about the mugs still sitting on the counter.
For a couple minutes, I stared at the ceiling endlessly, as my eyes started to get heavy with sleep as I turned to my side and fall asleep, having my dreams filled with paradise and happiness.
—
The next morning, Sandra, Barbra, Evelyn, Martha, and I made our way to the funeral site.
As the driver drove us, I look out the window, looking at all the damage that was done to this island. Broken roofs, shattered glass, and yards filled with debris from the huts that were shot up or blown to pieces.
Every once in a while, thoughts of Betty and I's late talks filled my brain as we would both head to the kitchen to grab some ice cream and dishes, and talk about anything that came to our heads, or that was occupying it. We would talk for what felt like an eternity.
Subconsciously, I started to smile as the memories made me happy. This is what my heart felt like, before everything happened that caused it to have a baseball sized hole.
I wish I had something to fill that void with.
Pulling me out of my thoughts, I felt a gloved hand lightly touch mine, as I turn to see Evelyn giving me a sad smile.
"What were you thinking about?" She asked me.
I squeeze her hand back, and avert my gaze to my lap.
"I was thinking about the late night talks Betty and I had." I told her truthfully, and she squeezed my hand back in response.
"I remember waking up hearing quiet chatter and giggles, only to see you and Betty sitting on the couch, eating ice cream and talking about random things." She told me as I let out a light chuckle.
"I remember I woke up to the sound of screaming, and I rushed out of my room, to see the three of you, laughing like little girls."
We both snap our gaze to our left to see Sandra looking at us, with a small smile.
"I remember that. I remember being mad at you guys for ruining my beauty sleep." Martha added in.
"I remember running out of my room, thinking someone broke into the house, and came out with a shotgun that was in the closet." Barbra said as we all started to laugh.
Once our laughter died down, our smiles fell as reality slapped us in the face, as our happy rush only lasted for a second.
"I miss her." I whisper.
"We all do, hun," Barbra said. She then grabbed my hand. I look at her, with a tear falling down my cheek, "But we will never forget her."
The car stopped as we all got out of the vehicle, and walked into the open building, already seeing families, soldiers, and the priest there.
We all made our way to Betty's casket, and surrounded it. We then watched as Red, a grown man, look at Betty's casket and fall to his knees slowly, and start crying onto it.
Tears were falling down all of our cheeks, as we had to watch his heart break into pieces to see his fiancé laying in a wooden box, sleeping forever.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, but knowing whose hand it was, I didn't bother looking behind me, as I watched Evelyn place her unoccupied hand onto the casket, as I did the same.
We stayed there for a little bit as I whispered to Evelyn where as I was going, and saying my goodbye to Betty. I watched my tear fall directly next to my hand, as I take it off and turn around to make my way to the other casket that I planned on seeing.
I walk up to it, seeing the name plate, and the pictures of him and smiled sadly.
"Hello, Lieutenant Peterson." I whisper.
I lightly place my left hand onto the flag covered casket, as tears start collecting in my eyes.
"You know, I never got to say thank you for saving my life, or say a proper goodbye to you." I told him. "I'm so sorry that this happened to you, because there isn't a day, where I wish this didn't happen in the first place."
I take in a deep breath to try to stop me from sobbing, as I swallowed the lump, that was forming in my throat.
"I hope you are resting in peace, and not filled with pain and guilt, like how I feel."
I couldn't take it anymore as my hand slid off the casket, letting it fall to my side. I put my right hand on my mouth to cover the sobs coming from it.
I felt two hands grab my shoulders and turn me around, pulling me into a hug and placing their chin on my head.
I knew from the minute I smelt the cologne, that I bought last Christmas, I knew it was my brother.
I sobbed harder into his sailor uniform chest, and held onto him harder, happy that he was alive.
"Thank God you are alive." I hiccup as he rubs circles on my back.
"Shh, it's okay, just breathe. He's in a better place now, Emiellia." He told me as I nod my head and close my eyes, to breathe in his scent and started to calm down.
We pull away from each other as he wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
"Are you okay now?" He asked me and I nod my head.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks Ethan."
He nods his head as he tells me that he has to go, as I shoo him away, making him chuckle. He grabs his crutches, and places them under his arms, walking away.
I look at him one more time, before going to the last casket that I wanted to visit, Loraine's.
I walk up to it, and sadly smile at the pictures that were laying on her casket. I then place my left hand onto it, taking a deep breath.
"Hey Loraine, I wish I was there to save you on time, so your life didn't have to end so early. Even though we didn't get to know each other really well, it felt like I've known you for a long time," I tell her as tears cloud my vision, but I push them away and lick my slightly chapped lips.
"I hope that you are in peace, and feeling safe and protected. I wish your life didn't end so early." I look at her casket one last time, before taking my hand off of it and walking to everyone else at the entrance.
Evelyn must've known I was coming, as she looks at me, and the moment our eyes meet, everything started to crash and fall down.
I walk up to her and pull her into a hug as I start to cry again.
All the guilt, pain, and sorrow I was feeling, was poured into the tears that fell on her shoulder.
She wrapped her arms around me and held me tight as she started whispering coos in my ear.
After a couple minutes, I pull away from her and pulled out my handkerchief from my dress pocket, and dabbed the tears away from under my lashes, and placed it back in my pocket.
I give Evelyn a reassuring smile as she rubs my arms.
Feeling eyes on me from the side, I turn my head to see Danny looking at me with sadness and sorrow etched onto his face.
I give him a small sad smile, then turning my gaze to Evelyn, preventing myself from wanting to run up to Danny, and have him hold me in his embrace.
Not even an hour passed, when both Evelyn and I noticed a male walk up to both Rafe and Danny, handing them a yellow half sheet of paper.
They both salute to the man, then look at the paper. When he leaves, Danny looks up, noticing two pairs of eyes looking their way.
When Danny looked at the both of us, there was a twisting feeling in my gut, that told me, that something that was written on the yellow piece of paper was dangerous, and I could possibly lose him.
~
End of Chapter 24!
Sorry for the wait! I hope it was worth it!
Thank you so much for reading this chapter and this book, and being patient with me
I hope you have a great day where ever you are!
-NewWriterOnTheBlock_
(Word Count: 2035)
I do not own the 2001 film 'Pearl Harbor' or its characters, except my own