Jessicas POV
"You saw the messages didn't you." Lauren says her voice defeated. I could tell in her voice that she knew there wasn't a lie out there that I would believe.
"How could you talk about me so badly, and to my best friend at that. You are only friend with me because you pity me. Those messages go back for years Lauren, fucking years. You never grew the balls to tell me that shit to my face. Instead you got close to me and held my hand when I was breaking down about my parents marriage nearly crumbling. You found me when the stupid football team shared a nude photo of me. All of that was a lie?" I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes and my voice was shaking so hard I knew Lauren could hear it.
"No Jess it wasn't all a lie, I just-" I cut her off before she could finish. "You just shared my nudes to the football team and blamed Sam for it, which he denied and we broke up because of you, you talked to Bryan, Jackand literally everyone in group chats about how repulsive you think I am. Yes you're right, you do actually care, it's obvious and I'm silly doubting you." I saw seethingly, the sarcasm dripping from my tongue.
When I went snooping through Bryan's computer I discovered plenty of messages through iMessage I initially didn't even think to look but happened to see a text from Lauren saying some really nasty stuff. From there I couldn't stop myself, I had to keep digging. I compartmentalized it in the moment to focus on what was truly important but hearing Jessica's voice made it all come flooding back. She hated me, she said so herself over and over in the messages. I was called a slut, stupid, dirty whore, dumb bitch, and that's not even scratching the surface. Her distaste for me was so strange, I was constantly being mentioned when nobody else was talking about almost as if her hatred for my mere existence was her obsession.
I don't want to hear your voice, I don't want to speak to you. I have done some fucked up shit to you, don't get me wrong. But this, never this, but consider us even, I found out your little secret and a lot more than that. Please please dont ever try and contact me again, oh and enjoy your little trip. I say and mash the end button as hard as I could.
I immediately block her number, and block her on every social media known to man, I even block her on LinkedIn, as well as her email addresses. Exasperated, I drop my phone and I can't control the rush of sobs that follow. I can feel myself blubbering, Bryan mostly defended me but overtime I could see he got tired and ignored her constant talking about me. Worst of all isn't if he defended me or not but the fact he knew and never told me. We were ignoring each other mostly but when we weren't I was nice to him. God do I just have zero self respect I think to myself as I cry harder.
Between my hard sobbing I hear a light knock on the door. "Go THE FUCK away!" I scream not caring who it is but being 99% sure its Bryan. I just cry harder, this time into my pillow so Bryan doesn't hear. I hear the door slightly open, I don't look up.
"Do you not understand English you dumb fuck, go away. I want nothing to do with you Bryan, take a fucking hint for the love of god!!" I scream whipping my face up at he last part only to see Rosalina looking VERY concerned. My hand instantly flies to cover my mouth upon the realization that it isn't Bryan. "I'm so sorry!" I blurt out as I feel my cheeks flush. She looks at me and smiles.
"Well you were right about one thing, my English does suck." She giggles, "But no not Bryan." Her easy going attitude makes me calm myself a little. "I'm not going to ask if you're okay, clearly you aren't okay. I'm a stranger so you likely dont want to talk to me. Best I can offer, maybe a hug and the fact that Bryan just went to grab food and he claimed he knew your order and that it is your favorite place." She finishes her sentence walking over to me and putting her arms out.
I am not a hugger but I take it, I try and stop myself but the tears just flow even more into her shoulder as she sits down across from me on my bed. "I just want to be loved." I mumble quietly I am feel the oversharing about to begin. "My parents are so wrapped in their own drama I feel like I'm paid off to not get in the way, Bryan can't even be with me, My friend Lauren has secretly hated me for years and I don't know how to be anymore. Everything feels so wrong." I take in a big breath having said all of that without breathing.
Rosalina cups my face, and I can feel her staring at me. My eyes are cast downward, I feel so much shame and vulnerability. I look up and lock with her large brown eyes. I can see hurt, like she understands exactly what I am feeling. I don't think and I lean forward and kiss her. She moved away form me. Oh god, I say to myself, what the fuck is wrong with me. I don't make eye contact and rush out of the room.
"You dumb fucking bitch" I whisper to myself as I rush into the bathroom and shut the door. Maybe Lauren is right I am a self centered bitch who thinks "everyone wants" I cry more thinking of the things she said about me. I wish those pills I ingested killed me. I have so much hate for myself in the moment unbearable. I strip down and get into the shower, making the water steaming hot. I press my forehead on the wall and cover my face with my hands.
Who raised me and why am I even like this. I think to myself, a true fucking mess. I'm trying to control the sobbing but I can't. I start to question everything and everyone around me. I can't even determine if there is a single real person in my life. Don't get me wrongI love my parents, but my mom had a nanny raise me. Like she couldn't even stand me either.
"I'm sorry, " I hear Rosalinas voice as I feel her step in behind me and wrap me into a hug form behind. "I have some really bad history, I dont do to well with surprise touch. I wanted that just as much as you did." She whispers in my ear. Her voice breathy, holy shit, I instantly stopped crying. I could feel her huge boobs pressing into my back and her hands caressing mine. \
"I also didn't want to make it seems I was trying to take advantage of you in a vulnerable moment." She says continuing to caress me.
"But I k-"
"I know" she says cutting me off. "But I didn't know if you felt like that was what I wanted and felt obligated. No offense you let a lot of people use you, and I refused to be like that." She says turning me around and pinning me to the wall.
I didn't think I was a lesbian or even bi, I experimented around all in drunk fun, I can't tell if I want Rosalina, or if I just want to feel loved. Regardless, I didn't want this moment to end. She kisses me on the lips interrupting my train of thought. I push myself into her chest deepening the sensation. She trails her kisses down my neck and continues until she's on her knees. I an hear the low moans I am trying to stop myself from letting out. By now she's nearing my crotch and I start to shake.
She looks up at me, as if asking for permission, "please" I say in a breathy moan. I barely finish the word as I feel her tongue dance around my labia. "Holy shit" I moan. This woman has some major skill. She submerges her tongue inside my body and I shriek loudly as she exploits every inner working and crevice she can find. My skin is so hot and not from the water, I feel so much fire as she plunges and deep as possible.
Rosalina I'm gonna-" she takes this moment to be as intense as possible, I burst as I feel warm liquid running down my legs. I scream so loud I scare myself, I hadn't felt that much pleasure since I was with Bryan on the stairs. I'm completely out of breath, she stands up and pushed my fallen wet blonde locks back. "I told you I think you're hot." She says in the most breathy tone yet. I yank her into kissing her as I circle my finger around her areola.
she reaches for the nozzle and turns off the faucet, "But what about you?" I ask feeling bad as she did all the work. "I touched myself and hearing you cum so hard made me cum." This woman was unreal. She grabs the only towel in the bathroom and dries herself off and wraps me up int it. Gingerly she kisses my forehead. "I'm sorry you have shitty people in your life, I can't take that away, but I can distraction from it," she says smirking. I feel myself blushing hard.
We both dry off and get dressed. We aren't too far off in size so I lend her some shorts and a crop top. I braid my wet hair back in two French braids and she put her hair in a messy bun. We sit on the couch about 30 minutes later laughing at Family Guy. We both agreed, we weren't going to share our little shower rendezvous with Bryan as it simply wasn't his business.
"God the traffic was horrible." Bryan says as he walks into the house. I can smell barbecue and I know that means he went to my favorite place. He hands me a bag, I glare and take it from him. Just because he chose to go out of his way and order my favorite does not mean I have to be nice to him.
"You are welcome Jessica Peters." He says matter of factory. "Yea whatever, thanks" I say as I get up to move away from him.
"Why's your hair wet." He ask Rosalina, "and yours" he says looking at me as I now sit in a singe person recliner in the corner. "Is the beach not right outside dumbass?!" I snap before Rosalina even as a chance to respond.
"Jesus, what's got your panties in a bunch." He says putting his hands up. I feel a sting just thinking about the conversation with bitch face Jessica earlier. Dont get me wrong Rosalina was an amazing distraction but my feelings were still completely crushed.
"Why don't we just eat," Rosalina say taking a bag from the table and grabbing a plate.
We eat in silence with Family Guy playing in the background. Rosalina and Bryan share some small talk but I don't listen as I replay our hot shower in my head while trying to ignore the mess of my life.
We finish eating and I clean up the remains, putting any leftovers in the refrigerator. Rosalina comes into the kitchen as I load silverware into the dishwasher.
"I'm heading out." But today was.. nice" she says checking around to ensure Bryan is out of earshot. She slinks her hands around my waist and kisses my lips quickly. I wanted more but I hear foot steps. She quickly grabs a rag to look as if she is assisting me. Bryan places his fork in the dishwasher.
"Oh dont worry about cleaning Rosa you're a guest." He says smiling taking the rag form her hands. "Just get home safely and get some rest! We have a long day tomorrow." He says. She smiles and quickly glances at me and we connect eyes for a moment, saying so much hike saying nothing at all. We simultaneously smirk and she says her goodbyes.
"So are we going to address the elephant in the room." Bryan says returning to the kitchen after locking the door after Jessica.
"The fact I do more dishes than you, which is totally unfair." I say which should be funny and playful but is said in a flat dismissive tone.
"You've been giving me the cold shoulder-" I interrupt him
"That's fucking hilarious Bryan, considering that you've been lying to me and ignoring me as well. This is fucking gold keep it coming, please continue to be the clueless victim. Humor me." I say the last part tightly.
"Before you take this golden opportunity to lie instead of telling me the truth let me tell you what I know. You're cheating on my ex best friend with me, you've always liked me and never did anything about it cause you're weak. You're dating her because your asshole stepdad is fucking broke because he can't run your dads company for shit. You're dating poor pathetic Lauren to get a bail out form her stupid dad, who has secretly been obsessing over me for years and hating me. Which you never bothered yourself with sharing with me. Oh am I missing something" I am suddenly gaining confidence and feeling less like I want to cry. the rage is fueling me.
"Oh yea you have evidence of your step dad literally telling you he killed your dad and will kill me, te slut, which you are way too comfortable with allowing people to call me. Especially people who are supposed to be our best friend. Icing on the cake your too weak to even stand up or do anything about it. I say slamming the dishwasher. Before I can swivel around and leave. Grabbing my wrist pretty hard.
"Don't fucking call me weak and don't talk about my father, you dont know half of what you're talking about." He screams this and I feel pretty threatened and intimidated but I dont show it.
"I don't give a flying fat fuck about what you have to say." I retort flinging his hand off my wrist. "I DO NOT trust you and I probably never will. For all I know, it was you who could've poisoned me last week." His eyebrows shoot up.
"Baby, I would never." He says looking at me with pleading almost begging eyes. For a moment I almost soften, I almost crack as I feel sorry for him, I quickly push those thoughts aside, I lean in very close to him and graze my lips against his ear as if I am giving in and open my mouth and say...
"Go. Fuck. Yourself." I saunter out of the kitchen grabbing my purse, car keys and phone. As tears well up in my eyes.
Fuck my life.
Quarantine has gotten the best of me like is has many of us. I was browsing thinking of some of my favorite past times and remembered how much I loved to write. Over the last few years I became so busy and I didn't make time for what I love. I got a big girl job, a house, a car, a new job, and so much more. I forgot that I loved to write. In an attempt to be more happy these days I am picking this back up. It warmed my heart to see after 7 years people were still reading this story. I owe it to the readers to finish the story and myself to indulge in my love for writing. I am going to be doing my best for weekly updates.
Xo