I stood trying to get the stupid burner to light so I could make myself a coffee, but it wasn't having it.
"Ohh come on you hunk of crap!" I yelled giving it a wack but that made the metal rings ping off and the nob fall to the floor I sighed taking a breath for a moment "You fucking cunt" I sighed I gave up and went to my shower feeling the ice cold water I waited a good while for it to heat up but it just stayed as Ice so I climbed in a cols shower will wake me up, I tried not to shiver in the cold water getting clean before climbing out the apartment felt warm compared to the shower. I went back to my bedroom getting dressed for the day just my black T shirt and my jeans will do I wasn't planning on going anywhere or having anyone visit today. I sat at the table setting up my board trying to ignore the phone as it sat there on the table, I didn't want to look at it, I didn't want to call her, but at the same time I did, I wanted her to call me up and for her to apologize but I know she won't. I have a habit of girls treating me like shit and living with it don't I?
I don't know what I excepted with a girl like Beth Harmon.
I did miss her, but she didn't miss me, she didn't care about me, I wanted to call her up tell her I was sorry for what I said but.. I wouldn't have meant it.
I couldn't help but he reminded... Of Y/n.
my god did I love her, and she loved me more then anything, But I pushed her away focused on my work, on my games and I pushed her so far she completely walked out of my life, Now thanks to Beth. I know how it feels to be pushed away.
If I ever saw her again I would take her in my arms, kiss her a thousand times and tell her how much I'm sorry and how much I love her, but I haven't seen her now in years But even just thinking about her makes me smile not a day goes by I don't think about her.
I focused on my game trying not to think about women. What do I need a woman for anyway, I'm fine on my own.
I sat working for a good few hours when I jumped hearing the door knock. I was confused I wasn't expecting anyone, and I know I paid my rent. I got up unsure who it could be I went over as it knocked again so I slowly opened it,
"Y-Y/n?" I stuttered in shock seeing her stood at the bottom of the stairs, her little black shoes against the stone, her black stoking's perfectly up her legs her sweet black dress around her tightly as usual, a bag over her shoulder, her sweet hair and face just as I remembered her, she was undeniably a little bigger then she was last I saw her but I didn't care I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was but she seemed so emotionless so indifferent to see me,
"Hello Benny" she says
"What are you doing here?"
"I uhh I thought I would come visit. May we come in?"
"We?"
she then moved her hand and pushed forward a little body that had been hiding behind her dress, a little boy no older then six, he was small, lanky, with a mop of blonde hair. I nodded and let them both into the apartment, she looked around with a faint smile, I wanted to smile seeing her here again after so long apart.
"Y/n, It- it's been years"
"Six and a half years, almost the the day" she says
"What are you doing here y/n?"
"Alex!" she called as the little boy was at my chess board going to touch it "You ask Mr Watts first if it's okay to touch his chess board"
"I'm sorry Mama, Can I play?" the little boy asked
"Uhh sure go ahead" I told him he smiled starting to play a game with himself, "Y/n, What are you doing here?" I asked again
"Didn't think you'd be pleased to see me" she says more to herself
"Y/n. Of course I'm pleased to see you" I told her holding her arm
"Though you might have forgotten about me"
"Not for a moment. I swear"
"I figured I would, I heard about Ohio"
"You only ever cared when I lost"
"Doesn't mean I didn't care the rest of the time, I just liked it when you lost"
"Ohio was months ago"
"I had thinking to do"
"About what?"
"About... If I wanted to see you"
"I wanted to see you, I've wanted to see you... for six years"
"I know, I wanted to see you too"
"Why didn't you come earlier?"
"I had other things to do" she says "So did you"
"What do you mean?"
"You got over me."
"You know about that?"
"Of course I do, you really think I wouldn't? She was my best friend once Benny"
"I know she was,"
"Was it to get back at me?"
"No. I was stupid, I was sad and she offered. that's all"
"Clio did always like you"
"I know she did. that's a long time ago now"
"Ummm, Bigger fish"
"what?"
"I know about Beth Harmon too Benny."
"How-"
"the boys told me"
"You still talk to them?"
"why wouldn't I where still my friends? Just because we're not together anymore"
"They told me they hadn't seen you"
"I told them too"
"Why?"
"I didn't want you knowing where I was"
"where have you been? all this time?"
"Three blocks away" she giggled
"You what! I though you moved back to Cali?"
"Just as I wanted you to think"
"I stayed there ... I thought in a couple days or weeks, Id want to come home, or you'd want me home, ands then I just stayed... out of habit I guess"
"I wanted you home, the moment you left"
"I didn't think you cared, I wasn't a chess board. I didn't matter"
"Of course you mattered. You mattered more then anything, Y/n... could you ever forgive me? I was awful to you, I don't deserve to be forgiven, But I know what I did was wrong, and I should never have done it to anyone, Least of all to you"
"what happened in six years?"
"I grew up a bit" I shrug "I know... How it feels to not be wanted. To feel like your being pushed away from someone you care about. when all you wanna do is help and be close to them."
"Guess we both grew up a bit" she smiled "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just... gone. I excepted to much of you, If I could go back I would have done it differently"
"Yeah, so would I"
"But you can't change the past, I'm sorry benny"
"I'm sorry too y/n. I've missed you" I smiled giving her a tight hug, she happily hugged back, I couldn't help looking at the little boy still playing chess almost ignoring us "Y/n?"
"Yes Benny?"
"Who's.... Alex?"
"You'll figure it out" she smiles kissing my cheek before she went to make coffee, I went to the table sitting across from him and he smiled at me, I reset the board and plaided with him, he was good, too good for a kid, I wanted to go easy on him but I think he was going easy on me
"Alex isn't it?"
"Yes Mr Watts"
"Is ummm Is she your mummy?"
"Yes, she's the best mummy ever"
"Do you... live with your daddy?"
"Mummy says daddy is busy. He doesn't live with us" he explained "Check" He says as he had beat me I was in shock as he just sat there smiling at me
"That's my boy" Y/n smiled bringing me a coffee and she gave him a cup of apple juice
"Y/n?"
"I shouldn't have to spell it out for you benny your meant to be a genius" she laughed
"You- You where pregnant when you left!"
"I was."
"Y/n. Why didn't you come home? why didn't you tell me! You said you where on birth control"
"Yeah and you said you always pulled out so both us where liars" she smirked "Alex, Say Hi to daddy"
"D-Daddy!" He smiled excitedly jumping off his chair and hugging my leg "I missed you daddy"
"Yeah, I missed you too kiddo" I smiled giving him a tight hug
"Daddy? are you going to come home and live with us now?"
"Well... if you want me too? and if... mummy wants me to"
"Mummy would very much like daddy too stay with us" she smiled
"Then, how about you and mummy go and pack up your stuff and you can come live here with daddy from now on?"
"Okay!" he smiled jumping off and heading out I assume to y/n's car
"No Benny, Pack your stuff your coming to stay with us"
"Why?"
"Yopu have a one room basement apartment, we live in a three bed house."
"Ahh... yeah that's fair, so you really want me to come live with you?"
"Of course I do, I'm sorry for everything benny, you don't have to come if you don't want to"
"Y/n are you kidding of course I want to! I've missed you, I've thought about you every day of my life, I've never wanted anything else then to be with you my little sugar cookie"
"Aww you still call me that?"
"It still suits you" I shrug "I'll get packed up and come stay with you"
"How long for?"
"As long as you'll have me"
"Okay, come on get packing" she laughs "I will go get Alex an ice cream" she smiled going to the door "Then we can go met Amiee and Arthur"
"Wait- Wh- Who's Amiee? Who's Arthur?"
"Alex's brother and sister' they waited at home with the boys playing monopoly"
"YOU HAD TRIPLETS!"
"Alex, Amiee, and Arthur. Arthur and Amiee at home with the boys, and you met Alex" she laughs
"Uhhh okay, Why did you just bring Alex?"
"It's a small car benny, that and I had to make sure that you would catch on so I only brought Alex, as he you know looks the most like you and acts the most like you" she laughs "That and... an ex girlfriend turning up with triplets seemed like a sure fire way to make you shit yourself"
"Good point. I will uhh get packing then, I'll see you in a bit my sweet little sugar cookie" I smiled giving her a sweet kiss but neither of us wanted to stop neither of us wanted to let each other go, "I've missed you y/n"
"I've missed you too" she smiled "See you soon" she smiled giving me another kiss before he headed up to her car.