POV CAITLIN:
After Ronnie's death for the second time, I didn't think my life would change again, however two months ago something happened that turned my life upside down and not for the better. Due to some suppressed memories I had of Zoom, I woke up a part of me that was dormant by then. And what part was that? It was part of my metahuman powers.
When I found out that I had metahuman powers, the only thing I could think of was that I had to suppress them anywhere, because no one could know that they existed, not even my friends at STAR Labs. However the first time I used them was to save Barry, from the mirror where Mirror Master, had imprisoned him and that same night, after I got home and after my shower, I went to comb my hair and as soon as I looked at In the mirror, I noticed that part of my hair was completely white.
Desperate to understand what was happening to me, I went to visit my mother, however that only make things worse for me. That same day, I met my mother's assistant, Nigel and it was he who came to bring us the results of all the tests I had just done. The worst was not even the test results, but what I heard next. My mother and Nigel, her assistant, they were talking about how my powers could benefit their pursuits rather than offer sympathies.
- I came here because I thought you could help me with what is happening to me, however I see that you just want to use me. But you also never cared about me, in fact you stopped doing it when my father died.
- You know I tried to save him ... Besides, it was you who ran away, not me.
- I had to do it. You didn't even want to look at my face ... Do you think that's fair?
- Honey, I know I distanced myself, but the truth is that I've got consumed in my work out of grief.
- I was also suffering and because of you, I had to do it alone. I needed you and you just walked away.
"You don't know what it's like to suffer like that!" Exclaimed my mother, raising her voice slightly.
- I don't know what it is to suffer? To let you know, I also lost someone I loved with my whole being, in fact I lost that person twice. That person was called Ronnie! We met at work, at STAR Labs and after a while we started dating. Some time later, he decided to propose to me and as I was completely in love with him, I accepted it as obvious, however on the day that we inaugurated the invention of the particle accelerator, things did not go as planned and there ended up being a explosion and he, to save everyone in this city, closed himself in the area that was damaged and the explosion killed him. I was talking to him on the phone when it happened ... I love you ... Those were his last words to me, before the explosion happened. You can't imagine what I suffered with his death ... However, some time later, my friends and I discovered that he had survived the explosion, after all, but he had metahuman powers. It was as if fate had given us a second chance and I took advantage of it ... But the day after we were married, he sacrificed himself again for us. So never again say that I do not know what it is to suffer in this way, because I more than anyone know very well what it is.
- Caitlin ... I didn't know that you and this Ronnie were dating, or that you were married.
- Why should you know? You were never present in my life! - I exclaimed, taking my bag to leave this place.
- Are you leaving us? - asked Nigel.
- Yeah. Things between me and my mom are ... complicated.
- But we can help you.
- I don't need your help with the science, I can do that on my own. I came here to get something from my mother, but now I realize that I'm never ...- I said, but then Nigel locked the doors.- What are you doing?
- Sorry, Frosty. You are not going anywhere.
- Let me out of here. Open these doors!
- No ... I am sick of working day after day, night after night, only to have my work benefit you're mother. With the information that I can get from you, I can finally get out of this place. So you are going to stay here until I get everything that I need.
- You are not going to test me.
- Yes, I am.
Each time he approached me, I became more and more unnerved, until I felt that anger completely took over me. And as soon as he put his hands on my left arm, I used my free hand and started to freeze Nigel's arm.
- Nigel, you are not going to test me. Not now, not ever.
- Let go of me.
- Caitlin! Don't do this.- said my mother.- This isn't you.
- You don't know anything about me, mother.
- I know I wasn't much of a mother and I have a lot to make up for, but I know that I didn'd raise a killer.
It was at that moment that my anger started to subside and I managed to get back to Caitlin Snow. After this situation, my mother told me to go home and rest and that she would take care of everything, so I took my bag that was on the floor, next to the door and left.
But what is happening to me ?! I'm a monster! Today I almost killed a person and as much as I tried I could not control the anger I was feeling. It was from this moment that I promised myself that I would find a way to suppress my powers, so that I could never hurt a person again.