22 August, 9:49 P.M.
"Eomma!" Soomin runs to the woman perched on an armchair, a laptop sitting on her thighs. "Can you tie her hair?" She holds out a doll with unruly blonde hair and a plastic comb.
"One minute, Soomin. I'm busy," the mother replies reaching for the papers placed on the table in front of her.
Soomin tugs at Naeun's shirt, shaking her head. "Do it now."
"Ugh," the woman groans. "Why are you so stubborn?" She takes the doll and starts braiding its hair without combing it first.
Being under the shadow of her older brother, Shin Naeun has always been a woman after power and a hunger to be recognized. Settling down with a man was never her plan but after her grandfather offered her the position she desired at the company, she agreed to his condition without hesitation. Naeun pursued Kim Haneul till the man looked at her as if she hung stars in the sky.
"Here." The mother places the doll in Soomin's hands. "Now, stop disturbing me. You can go eat something."
Naeun would admit the beginning of her and Haneul's relationship had been a breeze, the man knowing well how to treat his other half. She was happy but at times she didn't feel complete, he couldn't fill the void of success that kept calling out to her. Haneul was a man right out of the dreams of a woman. But both of them wanted different things and they collided. Haneul wanted to raise a family but she didn't want to be tied. Conflicts between them worsened with the arrival of their children. And divorce was the best course of action for both of them.
"Can I eat some candwy?" Soomin points at the bowl of treats placed on the table.
"Sure."
The little girl hops happily, picking out candies with both her hands. "Eomma! This is Uncle Jiswoo's." She raises the energy bar in her left. "He gave this to me before."
"Han Jisoo?" Naeun tilts her head, squinting.
Soomin nods her head. "I played with him evewy day at home."
The mother raises a brow, why is Jisoo living at their place? At first, it was Park Dae Ho wherever Haneul was, before he dropped from the face of the earth and her then-husband was crushed. When the doctor cares for someone, he does it with all his heart. It would be a lie to say the incident didn't dent their already disturbed marriage. In the months Haneul had been swamped with finding out what happened to Dae Ho and his sister, Naeun felt neglected as if she wasn't his priority. How could he do that to her when the two missing people weren't even his family like she was. And now Han Jisoo, what did he want?
Two loud knocks grab Naeun's attention from her thoughts. "Mr. Kim is here for Soomin." The head maid informs with a slight bow.
"Alright, send him in."
Naeun combs her ombré hair with her fingers, pulling down her shirt with her palms, smoothening the creases. She needed to show Haneul she could carry herself well even without his support.
"Appa!" Soomin runs to Haneul and clings onto his leg as she usually does upon his arrival.
"Hey, angel. Did you enjoy your day?" The father chuckles and pats her head. "Did she eat?" He turns to his ex-wife.
Naeun raises a brow, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm her mother, Haneul. I know how to take care of her. You're the one who leaves her with a maid the whole day." She's bitter because the man is so nonchalant about talking as if there wasn't any relationship between them previously. He doesn't feel anything when he looks at her nor does he ever talk about wanting her. Shin Naeun is a reputed name in the business world and how could Kim Haneul, a mere doctor, not be affected by her leaving him? He even took custody of their child.
"Minnie, go collect your things while I have a word with your eomma."
Haneul closes the door after Soomin leaves. He presses his lips into a thin line and heaves a sigh. "Naeun, you need to be careful in front of our daughter and move on from whatever happened in the past. Not for ourselves but for Minnie. I don't want to argue every time she visits you."
Naeun rolls her eyes at the statement. "Look at you being all righteous. You're the one letting strangers freeload in the house."
"What?"
"I'm talking about Han Jisoo. Isn't he freeloading at our place again?"
"First of all, it's my house. Just mine." Haneul shakes his head. "And whatever I do with it or whoever I freeload is none of your business. You've always had a problem with my friend circle. I—"
"They are not the right pe—"
"No, not a word. When we were married, you had a say but now you've lost the right to dictate my life. I'll not bend as you wish, Shin Naeun. Don't think I didn't retaliate during our marriage because I was weak, but because I loved you. Sincerely and with the whole of my heart." The ex-husband licks his lips and stares straight ahead. "Just the thought of you leaving could kill me, that I wouldn't be able to survive the heartache. But guess what, I learned that no one dies due to a lack of love from another person because love is a perspective we all mold. If one is gone, you'll find another one. There is love in the form of parents, siblings, children, friends, and one's own self. Yes, it may not be the intimate kind, but it's still love in its purest forms. And I," Haneul puts a hand on his heart. "I will not stop living because I lost someone I loved dearly, that chapter of my life is closed. I may or may not find love again but I'm happy where I am standing."
"Do you not hate me for what I did? How is all this easy for you?"
Haneul laughs, running his fingers through his hair. "I never said it was easy. There are days I just want to hide from the world and blanket myself in my bed or wish I should've hurt you the way you did to me, maybe then I would feel less pathetic about myself. And I hated you for breaking everything between us, as a family, as lovers. But holding on to these feelings only chains and restrains me from moving on in life. Because honestly, I have moved on. You were my everything but now you're nothing but my child's mother."
"Then why do you come to pick her up every time, you could send a driver and be over with it." Naeun digs her painted nails into her forearms anxiously.
"I have had parental love in all walks of my life and I would like for Soomin to have the same even if we are divorced. Because no matter what, no power in the world can change the fact that you are her mother. And so, I come here to show her she can have both her parents even if they don't love each other anymore. A healthy life and relationships are what I want her to grow up with."
The door opens, revealing Soomin with her backpack in one of her hands and shoes already on her feet. "Appa, I'm ready." She says waving a hand at both her parents.
Haneul clears his throat, still addressing Naeun. "You can advise me with raising Soomin, nothing else. I'll ignore whatever you say without a second thought." The doctor says with finality. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go."
Naeun watches as her ex-husband turns and walks away from her not looking back. For the first time after their divorce, she is overwhelmed. Her throat feels clogged and her eyes sting. This isn't what she is supposed to be feeling, it should be the other way around. She walked out, not him. She hates Kim Haneul and hates that she still feels things for the man even though she was the one who tore their relationship apart.
A lone tear escapes her eye, it's too late for regrets now.
"Stop crying, Naeun," a stern voice speaks from the very place Haneul exited from. Shin Beom stands tall with the aid of a cane, one of his arms tucked behind him to provide support.
"I'm not," the granddaughter denies, wiping her cheek with her index and straightening as the older man approaches her.
"Maybe if you had married Park Dae Ho as I instructed you before, things would have been easier for you."
There it is, her grandfather's strange fixation with Haneul's friend. Naeun curls her fingers into fists and grits her teeth. "I don't know why you're bringing him up but if we were to compare them, Haneul outdoes him in every way." Naeun doesn't know where her defensiveness springs from. She's been always at the beck and call of her grandfather but she's glad she married Haneul, not the other guy. Park Dae Ho looked at her with judging eyes, an unspoken animosity. If she's being honest, the man disappearing from her and Haneul's life was a blessing. She didn't feel under a microscope anymore.
"Haneul is easy to be around and he comes from a well-off family. And as for Park Dae Ho, whatever he had, Haneul was the one who created a path for him. That man was nothing if my husband wasn't behind him."
"You're a foolish girl. I think far ahead and you'll one day know how you let a gold egg-laying goose slip from your hands." Shin Beom smacks Naeun's back with his stick and the woman jerks, fingers grazing her jeans to not fall. She grips the material, controlling the urge to strike back.
She curses the older man in her head, wishing he had died in the hospital he worked at, in the fire that killed many others. But no, Shin Beom had been lucky enough to survive the accident and fall into a coma for some years. The way Naeun treated Haneul after they had gotten married was a result of the upbringing her grandfather had triggered. Growing up in an emotionally constipated and controlling home made her manipulative and headstrong.
But what's done is done, there's no going back to being the normal family that she would have had with Haneul. Perhaps, they were doomed the day their children were born. The determination in Haneul's eyes was crystal clear, now she was just a figment of his past. Nothing more.
❛ ━━━━━━✦❪✥❫✦━━━━━━ ❜
Haneul buttons his silk night suit and grabs a hairbrush placed on the stand on his dressing table. He combs his hair backward, stopping to touch the scar that's usually covered by his blue strands. The mark is a reminder of his ex-wife. Unpleasant memories of their time together overshadow the happy moments they had at the beginning of their marriage.
"Kim Haneul!" Shin Naeun roars as soon as the doctor enters their house. "Why didn't you come to my alumni reunion?"
"I told you I had an emergency at the hospital." Haneul turns to walk toward their room but Naeun stops him.
"How is that more important than your own wife? You could've passed on the work to your juniors."
"I'm tired, Naeun. Please, let me rest." Haneul sighs with tired eyes, a hand pressing the sore muscles of his neck.
"Don't you dare flip me off like that. You're always either working or lazing around doing nothing."
"That's not true, you know that. I try my best to spend time with you and Soomin." Haneul wonders where he went wrong with his wife. They first met at the hospital Haneul works at when Naeun had brought her grandfather for a check-up. After a few accidental meets at company dinners, the two got acquainted. Soon they were in love, enjoying each other's presence, bantering and sharing parts of their lives.
But the peaceful life was no more when Naeun got pregnant. Haneul had deemed her hurtful words and actions as a result of her pregnancy mood swings. Carrying a child was no easy task, the doctor had known it already. Dae Ho had disappeared around the same time, he already had too much on his plate. He let Naeun treat him however even if it was hard on him too. A part of him didn't fight back because he was guilty. Guilty for not taking care of Naeun the way he should be and guilty for hurting Dae Ho the last time they were together. It was his fault his relationships were falling apart. Maybe if he let Naeun do what she wanted he'd find a sense of peace unlike in the case of his friend, he couldn't even ask for forgiveness from Dae Ho. After his children's birth, Haneul had hoped things would calm down and go back to normal but he was wrong. Naeun's verbal abuse got worse and she didn't stop at just that.
"Let's talk tomorrow, I'll take you out to dinner as an apology." Haneul gives a forced smile.
Naeun scoffs. "You think dinner is going to solve this? I was embarrassed in front of all my friends because my stupid husband couldn't attend the reunion. How is eating food compensation for that!"
"What else do you want me to do then, huh?" Haneul grits his teeth, his face hardening. "Stop being ungrateful for a moment at least. I'm trying to do things the right way too. I'm human too and I feel things just like you do but I don't go around insulting you for that!" He thickly swallows, shoulders sagging. "Maybe...maybe we should take a break and try to sort ourselves out."
"What?" Naeun tilts her head to the side. "You want a divorce?"
"I never said that. I meant we co—"
"Kim Haneul, how dare you!" The wife yells, "Who do you think you are to divorce me!"
"Naeun, calm dow—"
"Shut up!"
And before Haneul can focus, a glass showpiece aims for him and smashes against his forehead. His already burned-out body gives up, and he falls to the floor unconscious when it bleeds through the fresh cut.
Domestic violence. An issue not many are willing to talk about. The victims tolerate the abuse in fear of facing worse and being exposed. Especially men disregard the problem, not wanting to endure backlash by society for not being 'manly enough' to control their partner. Coming from an influential family, it had been even harder for Haneul to be one such victim. Naeun usually verbally abused him but she threw things around the house when her anger spiked. Haneul dealt with it until she accidentally hurt Soomin. And that was it for him, he couldn't bear the sight of Naeun in his house anymore.
Haneul sits on the bed and takes the frame placed on the side table. "Hey, Soobinnie, it's appa," he says, fingers running over the glass under which a picture is safely tucked. It's a photo of Haneul holding two babies in each of his arms, one wrapped in a blue blanket and the other in pink. "How are you? Not a day goes by that appa doesn't miss you. I hope you have made many friends there." The father smiles, stroking the boy's cheek in the photo. "I...I love you so much, never forget that." With one last kiss on the glass, he puts it back on the nightstand.
Haneul drops his head on the pillow, a hand going under it, smiling at the cooling sensation. He's not completely healed but he'll get there someday, taking baby steps works just fine. With Soomin by his side and the support of his loved ones, he'll deal with things his way. He's had a complete closure with Naeun today, he feels lighter and content with how today turned out.
The blue-head reaches for his mobile phone on the nightstand and replies to some text messages. Not long after, sleep cradles him, rocking him into a delightful dreamland.