I pulled a bin of wooden blocks out of the bookshelf and set it in front of me. I was organizing the blocks by shape and size when a boy came over and sat down on the other side of the bin from me.
He reached across the bin and took a handful of blocks I had already organized. Then he put one in his mouth.
I didn't know the boy. I hardly knew anyone in the class. And since they were all too little to tell me their names, I didn't know what to even say to him.
I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, needing to be alone before I said or did something I would get in trouble for.
I went to the coloring supplies and picked up a book. I grabbed a few crayons from the mix before walking to the table and taking a seat.
The same boy that interrupted me just minutes before walked up to where I was. He was taller than me by several inches. He sat down beside me and took the crayon right from my hand. He started scribbling all over my picture, laughing as he did so.
I rolled my eyes and got up from the table. The boy didn't seem to notice me leave. I really hoped he wouldn't follow me because I really wasn't up for dealing with him a third time.
I knew Ms. Diane would help keep the boy away so I went to her side. She was getting lunch ready, starting to carry plates and bowls to the table.
"Hi, sweetie. What are you up to?" She looked down at me as she filled a large bowl with applesauce.
"I'm bored. Can I help with lunch?"
She smiled. "I'd love that. Can you put your bunny in your cubbie first?"
I walked over to my cubbie and set my bunny inside. I tucked him away behind my coat, making it impossible for anyone to see it. I didn't want someone messing with it like Alex did to my first one so many months before. It felt like a longer time than it actually was.
Ms. Diane bent down with the bowl of applesauce in her hand. "Can you put this on the table? Use both hands, Lyla."
I wanted to roll my eyes at her making me use two hands but when I took it from her, I realized why. I was far weaker than I had been and found that carrying just the simple bowl a few feet was more taxing than expected.
The boy that had ruined any chance of alone time came up to me yet again. Only this time, he stopped and watched as I carried the bowl. I was almost to the table when he stuck his hand inside. I tried jerking the bowl away but only caused it to spill all down my dress and onto my socks. The bowl fell to the floor and made a loud noise that caused everyone to turn and look in our direction.
Ms. Quinn, the other teacher in the classroom, walked over to the boy and knelt down beside him. She said something to him softly before guiding him to another part of the room.
Ms. Diane knelt down at my side and grabbed the bowl. "Lyla, go wait for me in the bathroom and I'll help get you cleaned up."
I walked to the bathroom with my head down, my throat starting to get tight. I didn't want to cry over something so stupid.
I kicked the small step stool over to the sink and stepped onto it. I pulled the pacifier from my dress and untied the knot so the clip was separated from the pacifier itself. I turned the water on and rinsed the applesauce off of it.
I glanced up at the mirror and paused, my fingers still holding the pacifier under the running tap. My hair was tucked behind my ears and behind my shoulders, thankfully not getting covered in any food. The dark circles I used to have under my eyes were gone. I still looked like myself but a less... mature version.
The door squeaked as Ms. Diane walked into the room and closed it behind her. She was holding a change of clothes that Alex had, thankfully, packed in my diaper bag.
I was glad she didn't yell at me for using the sink. We were allowed to but only with supervision. But I was never one to follow the rules.
She helped me down and knelt on the changing mat. I did the same and let her get me out of my dirty clothes and into clean ones.
I felt more like myself than I had in a while when I pulled my arms through the sleeve of the sweatshirt. I wasn't sure if Alex had done it on purpose but the outfit was exactly something I'd wear if I was my real, teenage self.
Ms. Diane patted my leg before she stood. "Let's go get something to eat."
I stuck the pacifier into the pocket of the sweatshirt and followed her out of the bathroom. Even after getting applesauce dumped on me, I was still hungry for whatever we were having. Since I could go to the bathroom whenever I wanted and my stomach was so much smaller, I found myself hungry more often than I had ever been. I became full faster, too.
We were walking to the table when I saw it. When I saw him.
My eyes focused in on him, like he was the only thing in the room. Everything else went red.
I ran over to the boy and grabbed my bunny, trying to free it from the boy's grasp. He giggled and tugged harder, pulling me forward a step.
"Give it back!"
I tugged as hard as I could and got my bunny free. Except the force I used was too strong and it sent me falling to the floor. My head hit the tile and my vision clouded up.
Slowly, as if time had stopped, I could feel the pain making its way through me. It took a total of five seconds before the realization of it all came to the forefront. Tears welled in my eyes and a sob escaped my chest. Then another. Then more came until I couldn't breathe because of it.
I couldn't hear what was happening around me. I couldn't see through my tears. I couldn't focus on anything but the pain in the back of my head.
Someone picked me up and cradled me to their chest. They started moving slowly, rubbing my back to try and soothe me.
I hid my face in her neck, wanting to get away from the light. Ms. Diane. She was warm and her skin was soft. I didn't know if she had any kids of her own but I felt like she'd be a good mother.
This time, she didn't ask if I wanted a bottle. She was already going to the kitchen to make one for me.
I was already starting to calm down when she handed it to me. She carried me over to the rocking chair and covered me up with the blanket.
"Do you want me to take over so you can eat?" Ms. Quinn asked as she passed out sippy cups.
Ms. Diane shook her head. "No, no, it's okay. I can stay with her until Alex gets here."
I was almost asleep when Alex walked through the door. The nipple of the bottle was sitting in my mouth like a pacifier.
Alex brushed the hair from my face before he took me from Ms. Diane. He held me the same way that she had been. "Do you have your bunny?"
I looked back to Ms. Diane and she held him out for me. "Take good care of him, okay?"
I laid my head back on Alex's shoulder as he carried me over to my cubbie. He put my shoes in the diaper bag, setting them on top of the bag of my dirty clothes.
"Where's your pacifier?" He asked me softly.
I paused as I tried to think of where I'd put it. Then I felt it poking my stomach and reached into my pocket to pull it out. He clipped it onto my sweatshirt and let it dangle between our chests.
Ms. Diane followed us out into the hallway. She shut the door behind her before she spoke. "She hit her head pretty hard. I don't think she has a concussion but you might want to double-check."
"What happened?"
She sighed. "One of the boys kept trying to play with her. She was okay until he tried to take her stuffed bunny."
Alex nodded slowly. Then he looked down at me. "Did you hit him?"
I glared at him. "I didn't hit anyone. He shoved me and I fell."
"Alex," Ms. Diane said softly. "she's not in any trouble."
He looked at me for a few seconds before he sighed. "I'm not used to someone else picking the fight with Lyla. We'll see you tomorrow."