▶️ A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall by Bob Dylan
A month later
The morning London sky is alive, the birds heralding the rising sun. A symphony of nature's condolences arise from the animals of the plentiful, surrounding trees. Dewdrops like diamonds sit upon the blades of grass. A gentle breeze tenderly tugs on everything in sight.
Billy stands, dressed in a black suit with a white shirt, his hands in his pockets, occasionally reaching up to brush a curl or two out of his face. A bouquet of mixed flowers is nestled carefully in the crook of one of his elbows. He looks solemn, although no tears escape his eyes. He just stares at the grave in front of him. He shuffles his feet nervously, as if unsure of what to say or do.
Another person stands beside the solemn Billy. It's Gus, Seraphina's trusty contact and hacker. A single tear falls from his face, as he too faces the grave. He's wearing a white suit, with a black shirt. The suit is very him, he doesn't seem to care the the bottoms of the pants have started to become wet with dew. He just stares ahead, twisting a ring on his finger every so often.
A hooded figure, cloaked in black, approaches. Rhinestones of different sizes dot the cloak sporadically. The rising sun reflects off the fake gemstones, creating the illusion of the night sky, on the back of the mysterious individual.
They slowly, remove their hood with delicate fingers. An 007 tattoo, adorned with flowers, is visible on their wrist.
The hood is removed completely, and Seraphina's platinum blonde hair is exposed to the world, her blue eyes teary, and a sad smile upon her angelic face.
*
I move up to stand in between Gus and Billy. They both look at me, and then share a glance themselves, but remain silent. The rock before me is black like the night. A tear escapes my eyes as I read the white inscription:
Beloved Father and Mentor
Now sleeping among the stars
Tom
???-March 10, 1980
I smile and sob, a rush of emotions and memories overtake me.
"Do you like it?" The lilting voice of Gus pulls me back to the present for a second.
"It's beautiful." I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him, sobbing. He holds me, gently. I'm careful, the bullet wound I took at the Hargrove house still aches, although it's mostly healed.
He just holds me.
"How?" I pull away from him and wipe my nose on my sleeve. "How did you do this?"
Gustav's face turns solemn. "I was the one who buried him."
I let out another little sob, and look at the grave.
I hear a shuffling sound on my other side. I step back from Gus and turn to the other boy I brought with me today. Billy.
His eyes are wide with concern, flowers are cradled gingerly in his hands. He holds them out for me and I take them with a half-smile.
Lilies white and roses red, I take the flowers and place them in on the grave. I kneel down on the grass and touch the tombstone with a hand. I place my head up against it and I cry some more.
Tom, there's so many things I wish I could tell you. I don't know where you are, if you're in Heaven...or somewhere else... or you're looking out for me as an angel...wouldn't that be funny? Wherever you are, whatever journey you're on, I miss you a lot.
You were my first true friend, and the only real chance I've had at a father figure.
The books and the movies and the TV always make fatherless kids seem so messed up. I don't think I'm messed up, not really. Then again, what do I have to compare it to? Billy? Tom, I think you'd like him.
Tom, on that day, I wish I could've gotten back sooner. I wish I could've saved you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you.
But you always wanted to protect me.
And maybe in your last moments, you felt sorry you wouldn't be around to do it anymore. Tom, I survived though. I lived. Because of what you taught me. And I'm done running away, that's why I'm here today. I'm done running. I'm done being afraid.
And that all started with what you taught me.
I don't care that Billy and Gus are next to me, and how they both get awkward when people cry. I just let it all out. I start bawling over my father's grave because I should've come here many, many years ago. I feel a gentle hand running my back, a rough hand.
Billy.
We stay for a while, as I let all the tears I haven't let myself cry over the past five years fall to the ground.
Finally, I stop crying, I sniffle and get up. I look to Billy and Gus, their expressions somber.
I slowly and carefully shuffle over to Billy, and bury my face in his chest. He wraps his arms around me and I reach up to the back of his head to play with his soft curls.
"I've got you." He says protectively.
"I know." I reply.
"Seraphina, there's something else to see." Gustav's gentle fingers brush my back, and I turn my head towards him.
"Come." He whispers, moving towards the back of the grave.
Billy and I follow him gingerly, and what I see starts me crying again.
A single quote is on the back of the grave.
It reads:
"People have only as much liberty as they have the intelligence to want and the courage to take."
I can't help but laugh out loud, despite my tears. Billy and Gus both give me a concerned look.
"It's so...it's so Tom." I smile.
It's an Emma Goldman quote, what he would tell anyone who doubted the ways of the anarchist group we used to run in.
It's what he told me before our first big heist.
Together, we had limitless intelligence and boundless courage. And we took what we needed, took the liberty by the hand and ran with it. Together, we escaped the system, and if only for a few years, we set ourselves free.
***
We're back to my Hawkins home, freshly blinked.
"Are you sure you're okay to do this?" Billy asks me, leaning on the kitchen counter as I root through the fridge. "You've blinked to London already today and you're still healing and..."
I look out at him from the fridge, apple in hand.
"Are you sure you're okay to do this?" I ask him.
He stops talking.
"Billy, I'll be fine. All these places I've been blinking to, I've been there before. Sure, I'm a little drained but it's not solely because of the blinking." I take a bite of my apple.
He lights a cigarette and takes a drag. "I know." He blows smoke into the air. "I'm just saying we can do this anytime, next week or next month or...next year?"
"Billy." I say.
"Yes." He bats his eyes.
"You said that we would stop running."
"This isn't running, this is postponing."
"Billy. You don't have to like her, you don't have to live with her, you don't have to love her again." I say softly, holding the apple away from my mouth.
"Just give her a chance. Be better than her. Face the truth."
*
Our second major blink of the day takes us towards a place, far from Indiana that I've been to but Billy hasn't. I have to pause for a minute and catch my breath, push away nausea.
"Are we there? Ser did you blink yet?" Billy asks as I start to feel better.
"Yeah. Open." I say, noticing my boyfriend's eyes are still squeezed tight.
Billy opens his eyes.
"This is...nice." Billy says dryly as he looks around at the suburban area.
"Come on B." I take his hand and we stroll. The morning is still upon us, although there's less birds here than the London cemetery, they're still present.
We approach the house that we were never supposed to know about. That Billy was never supposed to be able to find.
Yet, we're here. Despite all the odds. Because of me.
We're right up to the door now, Billy and I share a glance. He looks nervous, antsy, it's not a face I usually see him wearing.
Billy 'shakes it out', shaking his head and arms, popping his neck and knuckles. He dances lightly from foot to foot and puts on a mask of confidence.
"Billy. There's still time to turn back if you really don't want to do this, don't feel like I'm pressuring you or-." I start.
"It's fine. No more running, remember? This was my choice. You're just helping me not pussy out." Billy walls right up to the doorbell and rings it, defiantly almost. He stalks back to me and wraps an arm around me, pulling me in close and puffing out his chest. His sudden movement nearly makes me fall over.
"Billy!" I squeak and he turns his serious stare from the door, to me, and softens up.
"Sorry babe." He says.
"It's okay." I whisper and snake my hand up his shirt to touch the scars on his side. He flinches a little bit, but doesn't say anything. The scar tissue is still thin in some places, I'm constantly on his ass about not doing anything to rip it back open. He constantly rolls his eyes at that and reassures me that my fears won't come true.
Billy will never be the same. He'll never look the same shirtless. But at least he's alive. And that's all that matters to me.
"Do you think I should..." Billy walls over to the doorbell to ring again, but the door opens slowly. We both freeze, like deer amidst headlights.
Mrs. Collins stands in the doorway, holding a cookbook. Well, not for long. She promptly drops it.
Billy and his mom stare at one another for a long time. Both are tearing up. I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything.
"Billy?" Mrs. Collins asks, taking a step forward, stepping over the dropped cookbook.
"Mom?" Billy looks his mom over and squeezes his eyes shut as tears start to fall.
Immediately, something changes in Mrs. Collins' expression. A flicker of fire alights in her blue eyes, and tentatively she walks up to him and embraces him. Billy starts to all out sob and I hear Mrs. Collins crying as well. Her sobs are muffled by her sons' body, but I can still hear them.
I wipe tears from my own eyes. It's just too much to handle.
Curse this dreaded empathy.
"I'm so, so, sorry Billy." She keeps saying. "I'm so, so, so sorry."
They separate, after what seems like an eternity.
"Won't you two come in?" She asks, sniffling, looking into her son's baby blues.
*
We sit on the couch. Billy's mom just wants to touch him, hold her close to him. Eventually, he loses tolerance and shies away from this.
He's not used to touch as a good thing from those other than me and his past lovers.
She quickly, and tearfully tells her story, the same one she told me. When she shows him the gunshot wound, he reaches out and touches it, face twisted up in anguish.
Billy shares his story, well parts of it. How Neil abused him, why he left California, how my presence made things worse, how I saved Max by jumping in front of her, how Neil's locked up now and Susan already signed the divorce papers.
That's one thing both of us have in common, we've both been shot by Neil.
Mrs. Collins cries throughout the whole thing, and then cries some more. So does Billy. He drops his manly façade in the presence of his mom.
"Do you hate me?" She finally asks.
Billy looks uncomfortable. He shrugs and looks off into the distance.
"I guess I deserve it, huh?" Billy's mom seems to shrink a little.
He studies her. "I did for a while, for leaving me with that monster, but then I just realized it wasn't worth the energy."
Mrs. Collins hiccups.
"To be honest, I would've run away too." Billy shrugs.
"Do you think, you could ever forgive me?" Billy's mom asks, almost in a whisper.
He looks at her carefully. "I already have."
She sobs again, and he legs her wrap him up in a hug "My beautiful son. I will make it up to you. I will make it up to you, I promise."
*
"Let's get out of here." Billy says suddenly. We're still sitting in the living room together, waiting for Mrs. Collins to come back from picking up the kids from school. Billy was silent, thinking, until this moment. We've been here for three hours already, in total. Just talking to Mrs. Collins and her and Billy catching up.
"Billy." I say, heart lurching.
"I've had enough of this for today. We've done all the important stuff. We exchanged numbers, I know where she lives...I don't want to sit here in this house with her...and I have no desire to meet her other family." Billy's expression looks pained.
"Do you...regret it?" I ask slowly. My heart sinks.
"Regret what?"
"Coming here today?"
"No, Ser. I don't. It's just..." Billy trails off, at a loss for words.
"Complicated." I offer.
He nods.
"Where do you want to go?" I ask.
We exchange a glance.
"Read my mind." He says.
"You know my powers don't work like that." I respond.
"I know." We kiss, eyes closed.
When we open them, we're in California.
*
▶️ Higher and Higher by Jackie Wilson
Waves, tipped with white, crash against the beach. Crash against each other.
But we stay steady. His hands on my hips, we slice through the water on the surfboard. Salty tears on our cheeks are replaced by the salty drops of ocean water.
I've blinked quite a bit today, but I'm not tired. His presence next to me gives me all the energy I need as we glide through, under, and above, waves. Besides, it means I'll sleep good tonight.
I slow time a little as we under a particularly big one, watching as the blue encapsulates us.
Who knows if we'll outlast the test of time?
But, it does no good to dwell on thoughts like that. For now, we take in the sighs and smells of the ocean.
Today, we surf.
Tomorrow, we'll have a new adventure.
Billy and I share a glance, he looks up in awe at the blue of the wave. Maybe my past self would have held us in this moment forever, for it's far better than many of the moment's I've faced in my life.
But I let it go, and it crashes down like the wave, because I know that many more moments like this await us in the future. Our future.
I look forwards, out towards the horizon, content.
THE END.