▶️ Total Eclipse of the Heart -Bonnie Tyler
I help Billy clean up his face. He sits on the counter as I wipe the blood off of him and squeezes my body in between his thighs when the pain starts to hurt.
"Ow, ow Billy." I say and jump back as he squeezes me too hard.
"Sorry."
He always lets up when I tell him to.
I pull some frozen peas I bought for this exact purpose out of the fridge and lay them on Billy's face. "Hold these there."
"Yes ma'am."
I also give him a glass of water. "Drink."
He drinks all the water and I lead him to the couch and lay down next to him, in his lap. He holds the peas with one hand, as strokes my hair in the other.
"I told you not to." I say.
Fucking asshole could've gotten himself killed or something. I can't believe he got drunk and into a fight, I was so worried. I was so worried I'd have to blink or something and I didn't know if I could...
"I'm sorry. I didn't know that was going to happen like that." I'm surprised to hear him apologize instead of arguing like he usually does.
I sigh. As much as I want to let him have it, I restrain myself.
"It's okay." I sit up.
"Do I look bad?"
"Yeah."
"I'll get better, I always do."
"You better have not split your side open or I'm dumping you to the curb." I push Billy's shirt away from his previous wounds and look at them. They seem okay, although Billy has some new bruises where Justin tackled him.
I sigh in relief "you're good."
Billy gets up from the couch with a grunt and he holds his arms out for me, balancing the peas on his face.
"What are you doing!" I ask.
"Hop up." He says with a cheeky smile.
"Billy..."
"Just do it Ser."
I obey him and hop up into his arms, he carries me to the foot of the stairs as I rest my head in his shoulder and hold the peas in place for him. This used to be one of my favorite things about Billy, how he could pick me up and hold me. But now I'm not really thinking of that because I don't think I trust drunk Billy to get me up. Billy starts climbing the stairs. He's super wobbly.
"Billy I don't think this is such a good ideaaa-!"
Billy wobbles too hard on the sixth step and slips, and we start to fall. My instincts kick in and I blink us both to the top of the stairs. He ends up on top of me.
"You better get your act together Billy." I say from under him, still holding the peas to his face.
Billy looks at me seriously. "I have to tell you something Ser..."
"What do you want to tell me?" I wiggle out from under him and help him up.
"You look so beautiful." He says seriously.
"Thanks." I roll my eyes.
"I love you." He says suddenly.
I love you.
Those three words are the source of so much meaning and confusion for me.
"Billy you're drunk." I try to push him away.
"I'm dead serious Ser. When I moved to Indiana I thought I'd never see you again." Billy looks at me with an actual serious expression. "I spent so long wanting you, and only you. And I have never found anyone that knows me, knows my body like you do. I'm sure you feel the same."
I do.
He sits back on his knees and I sit up.
"I want you."
Those words send chills through my body.
I want you too.
"I can't." I tell him instead. He's drunk, he doesn't mean it, he's only wants to have sex with you. You can't get attached to him.
"Bullshit." Billy growls, frustrated. "That's bullshit and you know it. What are you afraid of Seraphina?"
What am I afraid of?
"You moved away and you didn't tell me anything." I tell him. "I waited for you to come back, to call, anything but I got nothing."
Billy is quiet.
"I don't want to be just another girl. I don't want to be just some girl you see and nothing more than that. I don't want to be merely a handful of notches in your belt." I say, tearing up. "I don't want to lose you again. I don't want to get close to you only to have you ripped away from me with everything in my life."
Why do I always cry so easily?
Billy wipes the tears away from my face. "Fuck all that. I'm alive Ser, you were the one who came to find me. I don't think you sought me unless you wanted me too."
I look into Billy's piercing blue eyes.
I want you so bad, you don't even know.
I close my eyes for a second.
I can track him, I can be the fly on his window, if I wanted he could never escape me again.
He's tied up in my world now, he's one of the only ones alive who knows who I am.
He knows the truth.
I open my eyes. I touch the necklace Billy gave me. He waits expectantly. "You can't live your life afraid Ser. If you don't want me, tell me and I'll leave right now. Hell, might as well blink me back to Hawkins because..."
No. I want you. Even if you don't really love me I want you. And I hate that I do.
"I want you." I interrupt him.
"That's what I like to hear." Billy grins mischievously. He stands up and helps me up, then he presses me up against the wall with a jolt. He kisses me until I can barely breathe, and he starts to touch me.
But for some reason and all I can think about is those dang peas.
They're not going to be good anymore if I don't get them back in the fridge. Also, we need a condom.
"Close your eyes babe." I say seductively.
"What?" Billy asks in his sultry voice.
"Close your eyes baby and don't open them until I say so." I purr. The eye that got hit is already practically swollen shut so that won't be hard.
"Okay." Billy smiles.
I undo Billy's belt and stick my hand into his pants, groping him.
"Don't open your eyes." I say as he lets out a little contented moan. Then I blink around the house. First I blink to the peas and grab them with the other hand, then I blink to the freezer and put them away.
"What was that?" He asks, hearing the noise.
"Keep 'em closed!"
Then I blink up to the bedroom to grab a condom, and finally I blink back to our spot in the hallway where we were making out.
"Okay you can open." I say kissing him on the lips.
Billy blinks his eyes open slowly. "Whoa, I feel dizzy."
Oops.
"Well you're drunk, that's to be expected." I kiss around his chest and suck on one area until I know I will leave a bruise.
I push Billy into the bedroom and he takes my clothes off quickly, I take his off carefully.
"Do not rip anything." I warn him.
"Yes ma'am." He replies and slows down a little bit after that.
He kisses me all over and sucks on my neck, I do likewise. Even though he's drunk and tired, he still manages to pick me up and throw me onto the bed. I laugh and pull the condom out, and start to put it on him. Billy is huge, and I forgot just how big he was. Billy is probably the biggest guy I've been with.
"We don't need that!" He tries to push the condom away. "Aren't you on birth control?"
"Yes we do mister," I fire back "it prevents STDs."
"What's an STD?"
"Like AIDS and stuff."
"I heard that only gays get that."
"Girls can get it too so you better suck it up." He lets me put the condom on him.
"Come on B." I say. "Fuck my brains out."
"With pleasure angel." Billy growls and he goes down on me with passion that says so much more than his drunk 'I love you' ever could.
**
After we have sex we jump into the shower together. As I'm washing up, Billy just keeps trying to kiss me and rubs on me.
"Billy. Stop that." I say.
"No." He purrs.
I roll my eyes. "Fine." I say.
We have sex again in the shower. Thank goodness for birth control.
Then we shower for real, and the water seems to wash away my fears and my problems.
By the time we come out, we're exhausted and just want to go to sleep. Billy has sobered up quite a bit, he does handle his alcohol fairly well, way better than I could. He holds me and I snuggle up to his warm body.
Billy mumbles something imperceptibly.
"What?" I ask him.
"I love you." Billy whispers into my ear.
My heart jolts. That's the second time now.
"Really? You mean it?" I ask him.
"Yeah, of course, after all you're not just another girl." Billy purrs.
"Well in that case, I love you too." I tell him.
Sooner than later, we fall asleep together. For the first time in a long time, I feel okay. In fact, I feel more than okay. I feel, perfect.
***
Author's Note: That wasn't so bad...was it? I'm not sure, if you're reading this now you're one of the first people to ever read this. I thought it was pretty funny, the peas thing at least :p
As usual, comments and critiques appreciated.