A/N - I know it has been a while and I am truly sorry for that, we can thank me for having terrible sinuses for the delay after two weeks of headaches and no energy. Lockdown 3 is hitting harder than I thought it would but my energy is back and I have a longer chapter for you today. There is a lot of dialogue but I am really happy with how this came out and hope you all enjoy it too. An entire chapter dedicated to Raven and Luna felt needed after the last few chapters. Enjoy and I will be back with an update when I can.
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Arriving in TonDC didn't take long, the group moving a lot quicker without the delay of Raven's leg or the Skaikru adults. It was something Raven noticed but refrained from commenting on, bringing attention to her didn't seem like a good idea. After her argument with Clarke, she was a little surprised she had been left standing, regardless of what she could do for the clans or Skaikru.
The remnants of the town weren't visible, the citizens had moved into a clearing a few hundred feet into the trees. It was still between Polis and Arkadia but it was now away from the main roads, something that was going to be a challenge when it came to getting the Rover to the town. Assuming they would let it near the town.
Everything was almost back to the way it had been, the town looking like it had simply picked up and walked several hundred feet to the right, but there were still some areas that were in development. The main areas she spotted as they entered the village was their water system as she had suspected, along with the number of tents still up around the outskirts. Despite the loss of life after the missile, the number of people that wished to stay after the Mountain not only replenished their numbers but added to them if her calculations were correct.
"Heda, it is good to see you. Your tent is ready, and another is ready for your companions." Indra bowed, hand on her sword as she looked over everyone.
Lexa stopped to look around the town she hadn't seen much of since a month after its destruction. "Thank you, Indra. Would you please show Raven and Luna to their tent." She doesn't explain her words, the implication startlingly clear that she was implying Clarke would be with her. She would, but it wasn't something Raven thought she'd admit in any form to Indra. The woman was scary.
"Of course. Please follow me." She looked to Luna and only glanced to Raven as she expected them to follow her. Making their way to the other side of the village, Indra led them past the fire pits and food but didn't let them stop. Raven wasn't hungry, but the option would have been nice.
As they drew closer, Raven was all too aware of the silence that hung between Luna and herself but clamped her mouth shut. They were approaching one of the tents surrounding Lexa's, no doubt thanks to Luna's status as the Floukru leader but Raven had hoped to be on the other side of camp from the others, just for once. It wasn't even anything she was likely to hear coming from the tent later and instead the fear they would overhear whatever conversation was no doubt going to happen between her and Luna at some point. The chances of it escalating to an argument was somewhat likely.
Indra left them a few feet from the tent's entrance, one that while almost identical to the others around it, was heavy and looming in the truth she would be completely alone with Luna since their argument. Luna had no such hesitation as she nodded her thanks to Indra and headed inside. The tent flaps fell back into place for a moment before shifting again, held open from the inside for her. It was a small action, but one that snapped Raven from her thoughts to follow the older woman.
Each step on the hard earth was heavy, her mind wanted nothing more than to avoid whatever conversation they would absolutely have, Luna didn't look like the type of person to run from a fight.
Inside was warm, the tent spacious with the table in the middle already laid with food for the two of them. She shifted her feet as she waited for Luna to determine what was going to happen – for once she didn't know what to say to make this better.
Well, she did, but the last time she tried that, it didn't go well.
Luna plucked a glass from the table and filled it with wine from the jug at the centre of the food, the drink filling her cup the only sound. Filling it to the brim, the wine almost overflowed before Luna took a long swig of from the jug.
Raven watched on from just inside the entrance. "Want more than your cup can hold?"
Lowering the jug, Luna picked up the full glass. "This is yours. The jug is mine."
"Seriously?" Raising an eyebrow, she took the offered cup and gulped a third of it in one go.
"I don't want us drunk for this, but I doubt either of us wants to talk without some, what is it you say, liquid courage?" Wild curls bounced as Luna tilted her head.
Nodding, she fiddled with the cup in her hands, liquid spilling dangerously close to the rim. "It is, and you're right." She bit the inside of her cheek. "I'm sorry for what I said on the Dropship. I still don't know what I ended up saying, but what I meant to say was, 'I'm sorry I fucked up with you so badly.'"
Luna huffed a laugh. "Yes, that is not at all what you said."
Raven dropped her gaze. "Do I want to know what I said?"
Pursing her lips, Luna's internal debate was practically visible, and Raven began to think knowing would only make her want to leave more. Silence spanned the two of them as Luna stared at her. It only broke when she sighed. "You said you were sorry I was a such a bad fuck."
Raven flinched. "Yeah... that really isn't what I meant to say." She couldn't look at Luna, knew she would want to say something, maybe something about her lack of understanding of her language, but she had to get her thoughts off her chest. "You were right earlier. I am immature and childish. Two qualities that have kept me from going insane since long before I landed on Earth, but I shouldn't have been like that with you. Not after you came with me to another Earth and helped me with my leg."
She chugged another gulp of her wine, her body already slightly buzzed as the wine settled in her stomach. It was calming and as the cup left her lips, the words came a little easier. "Almost everything in my life – even before we fell to Earth – was bad. My Mother was a drunk and traded most of my rations for alcohol. The only reason I survived was because the boy next door shared his with me, his family took me in and were my family, he was my family. I loved Finn, loved him enough to risk coming here in a hundred-year-old pod I threw together using scrap metal and scavenged parts.
"When I got here, I found out that in the ten days it took for me to follow him, he had slept with and fallen in love with Clarke. Ten days and it was like we'd been nothing. He let me dote on him from the second I got here when I'm sure everyone knew he'd been with Clarke, was in love with her. It took me a while to that figure out." Raven took a deep breath. "Then I got shot trying to stop Murphy from hanging Bellamy, who I slept with to get back at Clarke and Finn who I thought were off having sex, but they had been kidnapped by Anya."
Luna was silent in front of her as she continued. "Anyway, we went to war and everyone got taken. I thought Finn was gone and sometimes I wish he had died in that fire, died with his hands clean of innocent blood. He held my hand during the first back surgery and then in under a week was tied to a pole. I watched from the fence as Clarke killed him with the metal shard, I had slipped her meant for Lexa."
Raven could feel Luna tense, but she didn't interrupt. "I was tied to a pole and cut because Lexa's guard framed me for poisoning her drink. After the Mountain, I spent time talking to Anya as one of the few that would entertain the idea of talking to Grounders. She wasn't as bad as I thought, I even came to like her."
"She had her moments." The interruption was soft, but it was welcome.
"She did. Then she died." Chugging the last of her wine, Raven held the empty cup in her hand like it would magically refill if she stared at it long enough. "What I'm getting at, on this incredibly long explanation and apology, is that everyone I care for, or I thought was meant to care for me, has died." Silence hung between them as Raven tried to figure out exactly how to say what her now mildly buzzed brain wanted to admit. "I... I'm scared. I didn't intend to feel anything for you when I helped you to Lexa's Tower, but it happened and under the flirting and the sass I am still nineteen and terrified that I could lose a lot more than I already have."
She stopped, the complete silence in the room unnerving, prevented her from continuing to explain and apologise. If not for the warm air around her, she would have thought Luna had managed to leave without her noticing, unable to meet her gaze or look at her for longer than a second. As it was, Luna was stood frozen in the same place she had been when she started, jug in hand.
Able to look at her – actually, unable to look away – Raven tried to understand what was going on through the Luna's head. A hard feat considering the woman in front of her had years of dealing with Titus.
"I killed my twin brother in the Conclave." The admission was a whisper, but Raven heard every word and stilled. She had known there was a story behind Luna's run from the Conclave, but never had she asked, or the woman offered it freely. "I ran a sword through him and watched the light drain from his eyes before Titus held my arm up and declared me the victor of that battle. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, I ran before they burned the bodies of the fallen."
If Raven had thought the air in the tent had been warm before, it turned stifling as her chest ached for the pain in Luna's voice. She remained silent, eyes intent on the brown that now stared at the jug in her hands. "Titus sent Anya after me before Lexa won, he knew she wouldn't demand me killed so ordered it himself. I had run straight for Floukru, knew they wouldn't judge me for what I had done, what I had run from. At the time they were a small clan that was left out of many discussions in Polis, more so than now, so Anya did not venture that far until a month into her search."
"Titus had intercepted all messengers to her instructing her to stop on Lexa's order, he was and still is intent on seeing me dead. By the time she was standing on Floukru's main rig, I had become their leader after a harsh storm had claimed the man that had granted me sanctuary. It almost took me when I tried to save him, but the sea was too black, it was the first time I thought the sea looked like a natblida had opened their veins to fill the oceans. I only managed to pull a child from the waves before she was swallowed whole."
"The people decided I would lead them and a few days later Anya arrived to find me helping to rebuild the home of a couple whose entire lives had been washed away. I have not seen a storm so destructive since and do not wish to, but I like to think it was seeing me help give that couple something to replace the home they had lost that stopped her from taking me – or attempting at least."
"She declared she was there to help on Heda's order's after riders had given word on the harsh storm and stayed over a month. We rebuilt in two weeks, but she stayed, enjoyed the quiet life of Floukru and even dismissed my concern over her duty to report my whereabouts to Heda. Anya was the first person I told of my brother's death at my hands, it was then she told me of her true orders."
"I almost threw her from the rig in the middle of the night, believing her to have used my trust to gather information and earn my trust to capture me. Instead, she handed me a dagger and told me to slit her throat if I wished."
Raven gasped, even though she knew it didn't happen, Luna was such a storyteller, she was engrossed in her words. "So, I threw it in the ocean." Luna smiled when Raven laughed, the two of them able to see the glare Anya no doubt gave Luna that night.
"And you're still alive?" She hadn't meant to speak, but she couldn't help it.
Luna's smile was nostalgic, soft. "I am as surprised as you." She met Raven's gaze, the tell-tale shine of tears in her eyes. "It was her favourite, and she was not pleased. She watched the ocean in disbelief before laughing. She left the next day for months. When she returned, it was to form the Kongeda and we sent an Ambassador in my place, claiming I was unable to travel and she had offered up a contract bound by Floukru's badge with our agreement to join along with the terms I had told my Ambassador."
"The last time Anya visited was when she escorted my Ambassador home to relay the trust of Heda in the agreement. She stayed for months and I gifted her a hand-crafted knife I had made from the finest metal we had to offer. I had hoped she would stay forever, but the war with Azgeda required her at Heda's side. At times I wish the message had arrived two days earlier, before we had married. Others, I am grateful for all the time I spent with her."
Tears fell and tracked down Luna's cheeks as Raven waged a war to bring her into a hug or not. "I saw her once after that, the only time I had visited Polis during a summons and it was like no time had passed when we were alone, but to the other leaders you would have thought we had never met. I forgave her for leaving as she did, in the middle of the night each time without fail, almost like she would not have left had I been awake to ask her to stay."
Luna blinked and focused back on Raven in front of her, tears shining in her eyes too. "We have both been hurt and I refuse to be hurt like that a second time. Your nature is refreshing against the harsh reality of this world and I never want that to change, I just want to know that you won't leave in the middle of the night because you are scared to stay."
Raven smiled. "Leaving in the middle of the night would be impossible, and not because my brace will no longer give me away. I'm not saying I'm still not scared, what I'm saying is that I want to know where this will go and trust me, if I ever left, I would absolutely want break-up sex first and I can't get that if I leave when you're asleep."
Her smiled turned into a grin when Luna laughed. She brought the jug to her lips and gulped another large mouthful as Raven stepped closer. "We can take things slow, see how we do here when we aren't drunk on another Earth in a hotel room. Get to know each other a little more whilst you're here and see where we stand when you have to return home?"
Luna set the jug on the table, the wine almost scalding in the heavy air of the tent. "I would like that, but I do not understand how slow you are referring to?"
Raven's brow rose. "Well, I thought we could spend time together when we aren't busy and I don't know about you but considering how little time we probably have before you have to leave, we could use all the time we can get to be together." She looked around them at the tent. "I wouldn't mind sharing... if you don't?"
A grin broke out on Luna's face. "I do not." She gestured to the table of food next to her. "Should we start now, talk over our meal before retiring for the night?"
Raven stepped forward quickly and wrapped the woman up in a hug, arms equally as quick to encase her. "I would love to."