"That's so dumb!" Marinette and Damian are working on their ExploraVision project, sitting in the living room trying to come up with a design for their device. Jason and Dick are watching TV nearby, both were bored and decided to enjoy the Damian and Marinette show.
"What? No it's not! It's just dust, why couldn't we have a pouch on the back?"
"Do you even know how much of that gunk builds up over time? It'd be too big and heavy to put in the chimney!"
"Do you?" He challenges.
"I do, and based on the average surface area of a chimney, you can get cubic feet of creosote after just an inch of build-up."
"She's great, the idiot is finally getting knocked down a peg."
"Apologise." Dick demands, throwing the remote at Jason. The man catches it, hurriedly stands and dramatically kneels with his head bowed.
"My humblest apologies, prince consort!" Dick blushes, flipping his brother off while Damian smirks. Marinette's just confused.
"What did Jason call him?" She asks, she's never heard that term in English before.
"Just a joke from when he and Kor'i got married." The girl nods, glancing at a still blushing Dick who's glaring at Jason.
"What about a separate pouch?"
"What?" She asks.
"Like a vacuum, the fan and the part that holds the dust can be separate. Connected by a hose."
"Okay, we'd have to make sure that the goop doesn't block the fan that pulls all the stuff in."
"Why do you call it that?"
"Call what?"
"The debris, why do you call it 'goop' or 'gunk'?"
"I dunno. Why not?"
"Because that's not a word!"
"Says the guy who insists 'Bumgorf' is a word! I swear you come up with words just to bother me! Super-calci-fresh-alicious-expedian-a-little-miosis, or whatever!"
"It is too a word!"
"Jeez, sărută deja." Dick snorts at Jason's comment that roughly translates to 'Jut kiss already' but instead of embarrassing Damian he stops dead in his tracks. He slowly turns to his brothers with a murderous look in his eye.
Jason always forgets about the time Damian learned Romanian for Dick's birthday.
"Run?"
"Yeah." The two boys are up and out of the room with Damian hot on their heels, laughing as they yell and tease in languages Marinette doesn't know or recognize. Marinette is left in a living room, absolutely lost.
Damian returns ten minutes later, calmly smoothing his hair back with a hand.
"When's the funeral?"
"Tuesday."
"So soon?"
"Yes, assuming the mortician can reconstruct the bodies fast enough." Marinette laughs.
"So what'd they say?"
"Doesn't matter, we need to finish this before lunch is ready." Damian hands Marinette his phone, reading out numbers for her to multiply so they can get an idea for how big the vacuum pouch needs to be.
"What on earth does N-F-F-Y mean?"
"What are you doing?"
"Why do you have me as some weird abbreviation?"
"I thought you liked abbreviations."
"But what does it mean?" The corner of his mouth ticks upward as he does the math himself.
"Not telling."
"Why not?"
"Because... I want to hear you beg." He grins maliciously, thinking she'd never stoop so low.
"Pleaseeeeeeee? Why are you so meaannnnnnnn? Just tell me!" Of course, at the sight of the girl's pouted lips he caves in a heartbeat.
"Fine. But I get to see what you have me as- And don't give me that look I know you have one." Marinette rolls her eyes as she fishes her own phone out of her bag, she shows him the message board on snapchat.
"Autocorrect?"
"With an asterisk." She adds, Damian doesn't look impressed.
"I'll have to see what I can do about that."
"HEY! No, now you have to tell me what it means."
"You won't get mad?"
"Depends."
"Then I'm not going to tell you." She groans, banging her head on the coffee table they're sitting at before relenting.
"Fine."
"Not fully fluent yet. It was between that and Linguistically Challenged." Marinette rolls her eyes, of course it was something dumb like that.
"Rude, but fine. Okay, why don't we make the goop-holder thingy long with the fan at the top so none of the yucky stuff gets into it."
"That might work but we should have a filter somewhere, it is toxic... "
Ladybird coughs, thick gas dissipating around her. The bats stare at her as she swats the last of the heavy cloud away. Their breathing masks are on, a spare in Batman's hand extended toward her.
"Ew. What was that?" She coughs again, Scarecrow cries out in anger lunging towards her with more grenades of the nasty gas.
"And what makes you so special?" He taunts, trying to knock the girl down as she tries to stall. Batman probably has a plan. She just stays quiet, focused on the task at hand.
"Don't you feel scared, little girl? Panicked?" He lands a hit on her arm, she feels the nerves in her hand spaz out for a moment. She can still feel her arm but it's a little weak. That's not enough to stop her.
"Tell me, what do you fear most?" She dodges a poorly thought out punch, and spins out of the way. Her stance widens as she lowers her center. Ladybird pulls her arm back.
"Endurance training." She mumbles, putting all her weight into a solid punch. She knocks him to the ground, sparring a quick glance around the room she can see almost everyone dealing with goons before spotting Batman- about to land right on top of her.
The Parisian stumbles back and watches Batman fight Scarecrow for a moment before rejoining the fight. In the rush of adrenaline she hardly registers a pained cry but her head swivels at the echo of a gunshot. Robin's grasping his leg, a man with a gun in his hand staring in satisfaction.
Orphan is behind the criminal, knocking him out before getting back to fighting the other goons with Red Robin and Batman is still fighting Scarecrow. Robin is trying to put pressure on the wound but he needs to get out of here. Ladybird rushes over, tearing his cape with a haphazard apology, tying it just under his knee to try and slow the bleeding.
"Where's your bike?"
"You can't even-"
"Yes I can, just tell me where." He groans, standing. He puts most of his weight on Ladybird as she pulls out her yo-yo.
"Block north."
Swinging out of the warehouse Scarecrow is using as his base of operations, Ladybug makes a hard right and does her best to land without jostling Robin's leg; she doesn't succeed. He all but hisses.
"Sorry!" The two hobble their way towards the motorcycle at the end of the alley, Ladybird helps the injured boy onto the bike before sitting in front of him.
"Turn the engine on. You don't need a key." The girl obeys before balancing the bike and putting the kickstand back.
"Now slowly accelerate, you turn the handle towards you-"
"I know how, Bats showed me a few nights ago." The boy stays quiet as she revs the engine, and they set off towards the cave.
Ladybird makes a turn a little too fast, the bike's back wheel skids for a moment but she rights them quickly.
"Watch it!"
"Hey! I'm the one saving your sorry butt, at least act grateful."
"Crashing wouldn't help me, now would it?" He bites back, she rolls her eyes slowing down to make another sharp right into an alleyway. The dumpster at the end opens as they near, making room for them to enter the bat-tunnels.
The drive through the echoing tunnel is silent with the exception of the engine, Robin announces that they've almost arrived on the comms, Ladybird hears someone called Agent A get told to go 'upstairs'.
"Who is that?"
"Who?"
"Agent A? Are they a teammate?"
"Coordinator... They keep an eye on everything when we go on patrol. You won't be meeting them anytime soon." The Parisian nods once as they pull into the cave, the two walk or limp their way to the med bay.
"Pass me the antiseptic." The girl grabs the bottle and a cloth, pouring the solution onto the fabric and tries to get Robin to lay down.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? You aren't going to do this on your own!"
"Of course I am."
"No, now lay down before you pass out or something." The boy grumbles but lets himself be pushed against the metal of the examination table. She wipes the blood off his pant sleeve to see how bad the wound is.
"Looks like a graze- Nevermind." Her brows furrow, lifting a torn flap of his pants to see an entry whole and no exit wound. She stands, washing her hands before putting latex gloves on and grabbing some supplies.
"I'm gonna disinfect after I take the bullet out. Are you allergic to lidocaine?"
"I don't need anesthetic, just do it."
"That's not what I asked. I can go look it up on the bat-computer if you're gonna be difficult." He sighs like a bratty child, crossing his arms.
"No, I'm not. Hurry up." The girl grabs a suturing kit and a larger version of tweezers. She puts a surgical mask on and hands one to Robin.
"Don't be so dramatic-"
"They exist for a reason. Just put it on." He does, and Ladybird pulls the rolling chair to the side of the examination table and takes a seat. Cutting away the pant leg, she looks at the entry wound and disinfects the skin around it before carefully measuring how much anesthetic to put.
Injecting the medicine, she waits a minute before cleaning off some of the new blood with gauze and seeing if she can find the bullet.
"It does not look like it hit the bone."
"Lucky me." He remarks. "Though I suppose I should be grateful you aren't squeamish at the sight of blood."
"I've seen plenty of it." She quietly remarks, picking up the tweezers and tries to get the bullet.
"Oh?" He looks at her, she blushes. Great, now he's going to try and get her Tragic Backstory™. Time to throw him off the scent before he starts poking around for something that isn't there.
"Believe it or not I am a girl."
"Oh." She laughs, and he thought she was squeamish. Robin just lays back again, more than a little embarrassed. Refocusing, Ladybird catches a glimpse of metal. She sees the bullet.
Steadying her hand, the heroine makes an attempt to grab the bullet. It slips between the two points, pushing it into the wound.
"Ow."
"Sorry." Her face scrunches in concentration, eyes glued to the task at hand as she reattempts to grab the bullet. This time she gets it.
"I got it? I got it!" She beams under the surgical mask, holding up the small piece of metal.
"Congratulations, care to suture the wound before I bleed out?"
"Oh don't be so dramatic, it's small." The noirette makes quick work of cleaning the wound, knowing the disinfectant stings before covering the wound in bandages.
"What are you doing?"
"Dressing the wound. I don't think I'm qualified to stitch up something so deep. Just wait until Batman comes back." She removes her latex gloves, cleaning up the blood stained gauze and grabbing a water bottle for Robin.
He takes the bottle and has a sip. They wait for Batman, Red Robin, and Orphan to get back. Everyone else is at home resting for either patrol or training the next day.
It doesn't take long for them to return, the Batmobile pulls into the cavernous base. Batman tells Red Robin to look over the wound before motioning for Ladybird to follow him, he tells her to sit on one of the other examination tables.
"Why? I wasn't injured."
"You inhaled fear toxin, you're getting a full tox screen."
"I'm not giving you my blood! Allergies alone was pushing it!"
"Yes, because not being able to eat cherries tells us so much." Robin spits out as Red Robin pokes around in his wound.
"Fine, we can do the breathalyzer." Batman grabs a small handheld device with a small screen.
"Blow." She looks at the man like he's insane before obeying. The little device makes a noise before Batman puts it down. He walks to one of the drawers against the wall and pulls out a full face breathing mask.
"I'm fine, I don't feel anything."
"Because of your suit, what happens when you go home and the magic isn't there to protect you anymore? You still have some of the gas in your lungs, some of it comes out every time you exhale." He hands her the mask, attached to a tube that goes to an oxygen tank.
"You'll wear this until you don't anymore." She sighs, putting the mask on with a pout.
Red Robin knows it's going to come off as invasive... and incredibly annoying, but why not take advantage of Ladybird being stuck in the cave.
"How's the family?" He asks, sliding towards where she's laying down on the rolling chair.
"Dunno, I'm stuck here. What time is it?" She can see what he's doing, she isn't an idiot.
"Almost two. How's school?"
"It's school, boring."
"Yeah, don't you just hate it when teachers drone on and on for an hour. Who's your... least favorite teacher?"
"Don't have one."
"C'mon, you have to! Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Come on! What's the harm? Just tell me!"
"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!"
"Easy! Batman." She groans, taking a deep breath with her eyes closed and lays down.
"No, now you have to tell me yours."
"Batman." She replies, turning to lay on her side, facing away from the boy.
"Okay, favorite teacher? Mine is Bill Nye."
"Okay." She doesn't answer the question, he rolls around to the other side of the table. The man is just as skilled at being annoying now as he was when he was a kid, how else could he have convinced Batman to take him in as a protégé?
"Now you answer the question."
"Don't have one." She takes a deep breath, impatient for when she can go home.
"Favorite color?"
"Nope."
"Name?"
"You wish."
"Favorite artist?"
"Not gonna get anything else."
"Song?" She doesn't answer.
"C'mon, I'm trying to have a conversation!"
"You are trying to stick your nose in something that is none of your business! If you don't trust me with your identity, how am I supposed to trust you with mine? Besides, Batman has made it perfectly clear, no identities to anyone. Ever. I am simply following instructions."
"Please?"
"No."
"You gotta give me something!"
"No. But..."
"But?"
"You still owe me a bike." Red Robin deflates at that, just a little bit more and he'll have her.
...
"How about this, you get the bike if you give us your ID."
"No, you made a bet and lost. Pay up."
"It's not up to me."
"Then you shouldn't have bet on it."
"It was the only thing you wanted!"
"Then you shouldn't have made the bet."
"Rematch then! You'll get your own, custom bike, with anything you want on it but if we win we get to ask your little good thing five questions. And they have to answer."
"You can ask her all the questions you want but I can't make her answer." Red Robin thinks about it, if it's anything like the other one they could be bribed.
"Alright, can I pick what and who you play?"
"Sure." The boy smiles, turning to the open door of the med bay.
"HEY BATS WANNA PLAY HIDE AND SEEK?!"