november 25, 2021
paige
"Harry. No. No way," I say, standing up and pacing in front of him.
"What do you mean? You can do it. I want you to do it. It would be a great way to kick start your career and you would get to travel and perform."
"Harry this is insane. I can't open for you. That's crazy."
"Why not," he says, standing from his spot, wiping away any few tears that had fallen from his eyes before standing in front of me.
"Well for starters I'm still in school."
"Schools give you credit for professional work in your major. I'm sure they would understand and still give you credits."
"I have no idea what I would sing and I don't have anyone to play with me."
"You could do covers and I know you write. I'm sure your songs are amazing and we could work together to get them perfected and possibly one day work towards an album," he says, excitement growing in his eyes. "I also have a band that I'm sure has connections to other musicians and you also go to school for music. I'm sure you have friends who would love to perform with you. Worst case, I know my band won't mind joining you."
"I have never performed in anything bigger than a coffee shop. I don't know the first thing about doing a world tour. Let alone a world tour with one of the biggest names in music," I say, running my fingers through my hair and pacing back and forth.
"Lies. You did a show with me and it went wonderfully. I would help you prep and get ready. We still have over a month before tour starts back up again. Hey," he says, stopping in front of my pacing steps and taking my hands in his. "Look at me," he says.
I lift my chin to meet my nervous and overwhelmed gaze with his excited one.
"Paige. You don't have to if you don't want to, but I would love nothing more than for you to come with me on tour and sing. You have talent. Real talent and I would love nothing more than to show that to the world. I know you want this for a career and this would be an amazing way to start that. I know Jeff would be thrilled and so would the band because they all love you. I'm sure Alessia would love nothing more than to design a wardrobe for you on tour. And the selfish part of me wants you to say yes because that means I would get to travel with my favorite person and show her the world because that's the closest I'll get to giving it to you."
I look up at him with his hand placed on my cheek, a smile on his pink lips.
I wanted to do this.
I did.
But it was all happening so fast. I wanted to go with him and travel. I wanted to perform. I felt alive, truly alive for the first time in my life when I sang with him and I wanted that again but this was insane. I mean, to drop everything in my life and leave. And also try and put together a band, record songs and make a setlist, and write.
"Harry, I want to but-"
"Then do it. Nothing should stop you from this. I will help you with everything. I promise."
Once again, he had stood in front of me and quelled every fear and answered every question.
"Harry, are you sure about this. This is a big deal and I don't want you to do this be-"
"Paige. I am 100% sure. Please. Open for me," he says, sincerity in his eyes.
I take a deep breath.
"Okay," I breathe out, still terrified beyond my wits.
His eyes light up and his smil grows. His arms wrap around my waist as he picks me up and spins me around in a circle.
"Paige this is going to be amazing," he says, putting me down and laughing before taking my face in both of his hands and smashing his lips against mine. Both of us kissing through our growing smiles. He pulls back and looks in my eyes, grinning ear to ear.
"I'm going to call Jeff and get a call set up for us in a bit and we can talk through some details," he says.
"Okay," I say.
He gives me one last kiss before I head back inside, my head spinning and trying to wrap itself around everything that had just happened.
My life had completely done a one eighty in the span of fifteen minutes. I was going to be packing my bags and leaving my home for months to go sing around the globe with Harry motherfuckin Styles.
I walked in and everyone had put their plates in the dishwasher to be washed and they were all now getting ready to pile their plates up with desert. My mom catches my eyes and she starts to walk over to me.
"Is Harry okay?" she asks.
I nod with a smile on my lips.
My mom gives me a look.
She has always been able to see right through me, no matter how hard I try and conceal my emotions. I let out a breath that I had been holding and looked down at the floor.
"What's wrong."
"No nothing is wrong. Well kinda."
I look around and pull my mom into the dinning room, out of ear shot from the others. I take a deep breath.
"Harry just got a call from his manager that his opening act, Jenny Lewis, was driving home from dinner and got in a car accident and she's in the hospital."
Mom covers her mouth with her hand in shock.
"Oh my god. Is she okay?" she asks.
I nod.
"Yeah. Well she will be but she can't go on tour leaving Harry with no opening which wasn't the end of the world but not ideal. Then he asked me to open," I say, looking in her eyes.
"Oh my god. Like on tour with him?"
"Yes. He wants me to go with him on the European leg of his tour and open for him."
Mom pulls out a dining room chair and sits down.
"Oh my god."
I pull out the chair next to her and sit down.
"What did you say? How is it going to work? What would you do?"
"Well he said I would go with him and I could do original work as well as some covers. I said okay. He is on the phone with his manager Jeff to set up a call to go over some details and I guess plan the next few weeks so I think we are going to head home soon."
"Wow."
My mom leans back in her chair, looking as shocked as I felt.
"I mean Paige, this is an amazing opportunity."
I nod my head again, folding my hands in my lap.
"I know. But I'm really scared. I mean I basically just agreed to uproot my entire life for the next what, three months. School should give me credits because it's technically professional experience in my major, but there is so much to plan and do. Mom I've never done anything like this before. I have to call people and try and put together a band, finish writing the few songs I do have and record them as well as get outfits and not to mention I'm gonna have to sing in front of thousands of people."
Tears were starting to form in my eyes and breathing was becoming more of a challenge.
"Hey," my mom leans forward and takes my hands in her own. "Look at me."
I lift my chin to meet her gaze.
"Paige. You are an incredibly strong and talented woman. I know you can do this. Think about how great this will be for you. You are getting a kick start on your career in the music industry and not only that but you get to see the world at twenty years old. And you get to see the world with a man that completely adores you. You get to spend your days singing and being with Harry, which are two activities that you love. No, you have never done anything like this before but you are going to be surrounded by people who are going to help you and guide you through the whole thing. You have Harry who has done this a million times and who you know is someone who will take good care of you every step of the way so take a deep breath."
I nod and inhale as much oxygen as my lungs will allow.
"You need to just take things step by step and think it through slowly. Let's start with the band. Do you have an idea of who you might ask?"
"Yeah. There is this kid in a few of my classes named Lance who is pretty talented. Was thinking of asking him to help and it would get him the professional credits too. I might reach out to Sarah from Harry's band to see if she would have anyone interested on such short notice. Lance might have some friends too."
"Okay good. That's a good start. Now, about the song writing. Do you have any that could be used or that are done."
I nod once again.
"Yes. I have like three that are done and might just need some final tweaks before they are ready to be recorded. I have some that I have started or have some ideas for."
"Okay that's good. And I know you have songs that you can cover cause you used to do those all the time. You will love the traveling part, so don't even bother spending your efforts worrying about that. And Harry I'm sure has a fantastic stylist."
"Yeah he does. Her name is Alessia. She did my MSG dress."
"See. You're okay. You don't need to worry," she says smiling at me.
I really don't know how she did it. She always managed to talk me off a cliff when I was teetering on the edge.
"Thank you," I say.
We both stand up and she pulls me into a tight hug.
"Hey."
My mom and I break apart and I look over to see Harry standing in the dining room entrance way.
"Hi," I say.
He walks into the room.
"I take it Paige told you what happened," he says.
"Yes! I am so excited for you both. This is huge!"
Harry lets out a small little chuckle and I walk over to him. His arm wraps around me and rests his hand on my waist.
"Yes it is. It will be great!" he says with a smile on his face.
My mom beams at the two of us.
"Well I am over the moon for you both. Let me know dates and I will try and come to one of the shows. It'll be a good excuse to get out of this country for a bit. Maybe force Marie to tag along with us," my mom says with a smirk.
"Yes absolutely! I will give you all the dates and I will fly you out!"
"Oh Harry you woul-"
"No. Nope. You can not stop me from flying you out," he says with a stern look of seriousness.
My mom smiles at him.
"Well that is very kind of you Harry."
"It's no problem. I just got off the phone with Jeff and if you are okay with it, we set up a call in about 20 minutes," he says shifting his gaze to me.
I nod.
"Okay."
I turn back to face my mom.
"We should probably get going and say our goodbyes," I say.
She nods.
"Yes of course. I'm going to stay here for a bit but I will see you two when I get home."
"Okay sounds good."
...
"Mumph."
I plop down on my bed next to Harry who lets out a breathy chuckle at my grunt at impact.
"How ya doin babe," he asks, lifting his arm again allowing me to cuddle myself into his side.
I had changed out of my clothes from dinner into a pair of sleep shorts and Harry's "Columbia" hoodie which was becoming my favorite. I had washed off my face to be free of any makeup and threw my hair into a knot on the top of my head. My black rimmed glasses sat on the bridge of my nose as I wrapped my arm around his torso and buried my face in his chest.
"Mm. Sleepy," I say, closing my eyes.
I feel him wrap his arms around my body, tucking me into him and holding me tightly. I feel him press a gentle kiss against my hair as we both lay in my bed for a few minutes in silence until the ring of Harry's phone rings. He shuffles around a bit to grab his phone. We both sit up a bit leaning back against the headboard, our legs still tangled and my arm wrapped around his bicep.
"Hey Jeff," Harry says to the phone, Jeff's face now displayed across the small screen.
"Hey you guys. I'm sorry that this is all happening so quickly and on Thanksgiving nonetheless," Jeff says looking at us.
"It's okay," I say to the phone.
"So I think it's honestly best to just dive right in. I also don't want to eat up too much time. So Paige I would probably put this stuff in your phone calendar so it's all in one spot."
I nod and reach over to get my phone.
"Okay, I'm ready," I say, pulling up the calendar.
"Okay so, the tour will start in Italy on January 12. You guys will fly out there two days before on the 10th to get ready and Paige, it will give you time to run through everything a few times to get more comfortable. You guys have two shows in Italy and then go to Spain for a show on the 15th."
Jeff goes on to cover all the dates and places that we would be going.
It sounded insane. I have never even been on a plane before and now I was going to get to see all of these places I had heard my mom talk about all my life.
My mom used to travel for her work before she had me and had to stop. She loved to travel and explore new places. I had always wished that she could have continued but when my dad left she had to stay back home with me.
Now I am going to Madrid, Vienna, Prague, Paris, and Moscow. I was going to turn 21 with Harry in Munich Germany and he was going to turn 28 in Stockholm. We would spend Valentine's day in Manchester. I couldn't believe it.
"Okay now that you have all the dates down, we can cover the prep. So we are going to need to do rehearsals with your band for songs. Harry mentioned you have some original songs to do?"
"Yeah. I only have like three that are finished but need some cleaning up but yeah. I have a few that are still being written and might be ready at some point."
"Okay so we will get you guys in the studio and work on those. We will also record them to have them in the vault and any vocals we might need to use while on tour. Band wise what are we thinking?"
"Well I know this guy from school who's pretty good so I can ask him if he would be interested and hopefully it will be okay on such short notice. He also might know a few others who would be interested."
"Okay good. I would try and call him tonight to see. We can also pull from Harry's if needed and ask them too. You guys will need to be back in the city tomorrow night."
My eyes go slightly wide.
"I know I know I'm so sorry but we need to get you guys in the studio and we also need to get you ready for publicity. I've set up a meeting with Alessia tomorrow to start the design process for the tour."
I take a deep breath and Harry presses a kiss to my temple in a calming gesture.
"Look. I know it seems like a lot but you will be okay. It's just happening quickly but I promise everything will be ready to go and perfect. We are going to go over how to handle press and interviews so you don't need to worry about that. And you have one of the biggest experts in the field right by your side. Harry has been doing this for years and has become a pro."
"Hey they don't call me the king of answering annoying questions by not answering for nothing," Harry says with a laugh.
I giggle softly, leaning my head on his shoulder.
"Exactly. Okay. Paige, do you have any questions?"
"I think I'm okay at the moment."
"Okay well have Harry give you my number and text me if you need anything. I'll meet you guys at the New York studio at 12 pm tomorrow to get things officially going."
"Okay. Thank you so much Jeff," I say with a smile on my face.
"No problem. See you guys tomorrow."
And with that the call ended and I heard Harry let out a breath.
"Wow."
"What?" I ask leaning up to look up at him.
He looks back at me with a gentle smile etched on his lips, his hand coming up to tuck a baby hair behind my ear.
"I can't believe this is happening."
I smile at him and lean up to press my lips against his.
"I can't wait," he says.
I smile and give him one more peck before pushing myself up.
"Wait a minute," he says, grabbing my arm to stop me from getting up fully and leaving. "Where do you think you're going young lady."
"I have to give Lance a call and start thinking about band stuff," I say, looking back at him.
He has on his puppy dog face which is very difficult to say no to. His eyes get slightly bigger and his bottom lip pushes out slightly in a small pout.
"I promise it won't be long at all. He probably won't even pick up."
"Alright fine," he says letting go of my arm and curling up around a pillow in my place and shut his eyes.
I stand up and place a kiss on his head, a smile curling on his lips.
I walk out of the room and go to sit on the top of the stairs to dial Lance's number. I put the phone up to my ear and listen to the ring.
"Hello."
"Oh. Hi. Sorry I honestly wasn't expecting you to pick up. It's Paige," I say, a little flustered.
"Oh hey Paige! How's your break been going?" he says from the other end of the line.
"Good! It's been really good! How has yours been going?"
"Eh. I mean the usually annoying little sisters and typical family drama but not awful so I can't complain," he says with a slight chuckle.
"Good. So listen. I'm calling to ask you something. Now it's a lot and it is really short notice so please don't feel trapped into saying yes. I will not be offended or anything if you say no. I get it."
"What's up?"
I take a deep breath.
"Okay. So as you know, I sang with Harry back in October."
"Yeah."
"Well we got a call from his manager saying that his opening act for his tour got in an accident and is in the hospital. She's going to be okay, but she won't be able to tour with him."
I take a deep breath.
"Harry has asked me to step in and open for him on the final European leg of his tour."
"What?! Paige that's incredible!"
"Yeah it is. I'm really excited."
"So, what do you need to ask me."
"Well, I need to look at putting together a band and I know you are extremely talented and I was wondering if you would be interested in coming with me and playing with me on tour. I know it's a lot and a big commitment. We leave at the beginning of january and get back in March and it's not a whole lot of prep time. You don't have to answer me right now but basically you would come and open with me and we would do a few original songs and covers. Please don't feel like-"
"I'm in."
"I-What?"
"I'm in. I am 100% in. I would love to join you."
"D-don't you want some time to think about it? Look into the details."
"Nope. Look, you're asking me to join you on a world tour which is amazing professional experience. I would be insane to pass this up. I would love to play with you and maybe even write some stuff together. You are insanely talented and I think it would be supper fun to work together."
"Wow," I say with a smile. "Okay. I don't know what your plans are or when you're planning on coming back to the city but I am gonna be in the studio tomorrow at noon to start getting stuff ready and put together. If you're back you can meet me there."
"Yeah I'm coming back tomorrow morning and I should be back by then."
"Well that's amazing. I don't know if you would know anyone else who would be interested in being in the band on such short notice but I mean I would sing and I'm assuming you would do lead guitar. We need piano, drums and bass. I trust your judgement so if you would have anyone in mind."
"Yeah actually. I have a friend named Katie who lives in the city. Absolute monster on piano and her roommate Celeste is a bass player. I can give them a ring and see if they would be interested."
"That would be amazing. Thank you so much."
"It's no problem at all."
"And please keep this on the down low. This all literally happened within the last 2 hours. We don't want anything getting leaked early or anything like that."
"My lips are sealed. Thank you Paige for asking me to join you for this. Just text me the address and I'll meet you there tomorrow."
"Great. I'll see you then."
We hang up the phone and I take a second to breathe. I can't believe that this was happening. I don't think I would actually believe this was all happening till I get on the plane. Everything was going so well and working out.
It was going perfectly. Too perfectly. It was a little scary.
It felt like something just had to go wrong.
Nothing in life ever works out this well.
But I'm not gonna think about that. I push myself up and walk down the hall realizing we needed to pack up our stuff if we were going to leave tomorrow morning.
"Harry I-"
I stop mid sentence when I walk into my room and see Harry curled up in my bed clutching my pillow to his chest. His head was buried into it and he was completely knocked out. I smile as I walk over and softly push a stray curl off of his forehead and give him a feathering kiss on his head. He shuffles and smiles in his sleep but never wakes. I smile to myself and walk over to the corner of the room where our suitcases lay wide open with clothes and items tossed over it and on the floor. I take a breath before lowering myself onto my knees and starting to pick up the items and neatly roll and fold them into the suitcase to pack it up.
About 30 minutes later I hear a gentle knock on my door and see my mom standing in the doorway.
"Hey," she whispers, walking over to where I am still crouching over the suitcase.
I was almost done putting everything away. I had grabbed a few stray items that had found their way to the bathroom across the hall or the chair on the other side of my room.
"Hi," I whisper back as she sits down next to me, taking one of Harry's t-shirts and folding it up.
"How's sleeping beauty over there," she asks, nodding her head towards Harry who was still peacefully asleep.
"He's good. He's tired. He always is. We had a good talk with his manager to kinda start working out the logistics of the tour. We are heading back to New York tomorrow morning," I say.
I wasn't expecting to leave so abruptly so I was sad to have to say goodbye to my mom.
"I assumed you would have to leave soon with all of this going on," she says, placing shirts in the suitcase.
"I have something I wanted to give you before you leave though," she says.
"Okay," I say, turning to face her completely.
She pulls a small box out of the pocket on her cardigan and opens it, turning it to me.
It was a Claddagh ring.
One I had only seen when my mom was with my dad.
"This is a family heirloom passed down to Lowe daughters for generations. A claddagh ring is an Irish tradition that represents love, loyalty, and trust. In this family the mother would pass it down when she thought the daughter was ready to truly understand the meaning. I held on to this a little longer though because I wanted to give it to you when I thought you had met someone who truly made you happy. Someone who truly loved you. I don't want you to be scared to love Paige. I know that everything with Dean really turned you off to it. You saw me and your father fall out of love. I know that you struggle with the idea of it, but don't be afraid to let yourself love. I want to give you this as a reminder to be open to the idea, especially with this one," she says nodding her head towards the curly headed boy asleep in my bed.
"You wear it with the heart facing out on your right ring finger when you are single, with the heart facing in on your right when you are in a relationship, on your left ring finger with the heart out if you are engaged, and with the heart facing in on your left when you are married. Right now it has your birthstone, Garment, in the middle and next to it there is space for one more stone. When you are married you can put your husbands or whoever you marry's stone next to yours to complete the heart," she says, her voice still low as to not wake Harry.
She slides the ring on my right ring finger with the heart turned in towards me.
"Remember to love bunny."
The tears that were brimming in my eyes now escape and run down my cheek as she pulls me into a tight hug.
"I love you mom," I say with a sniffle.
"I love you too."
...
Harry and I walked into the studio both in sweatpants and sweatshirts with our hoods pulled up.
It was quite cold outside on the Manhattan streets. We also were back in a busy city where people occupied every nook and cranny. The likelihood of us being seen had increased and if we were seen going into a studio together it would be a big deal. Right now we both had agreed we wanted to keep things quiet and I was already stressed to the max. I didn't want people surrounding me and asking questions I didn't know how to answer.
We had left my house at around nine in the morning and had come straight to the studio, not even stopping back at my dorm or Harry's apartment. I had made us some coffee and toast while humming along to some Tracy Chapman. She had become my latest obsession.
Harry had once again come up from behind me and startled me half to death.
He had also started calling me "hummingbird" because I apparently hum a lot while doing random tasks. I hadn't even realized it had become a habit and I was immediately worried about annoying people when I was cut off with a kiss from Harry who told me it was cute and not at all annoying.
I had said my final teary goodbye to my mom before we left in Harry's car and started our drive up to the busy city. I had shown him the ring my mom had given me the night before and explained what it was. I left out the deep part of the conversation I had had with my mom, not wanting to share that bit of information just yet.
He kissed the ring when I explained how it was worn and his eyes darted down and he smiled to see it was facing in signaling I was taken.
The drive overall wasn't awful. We hit a bit of morning rush hour traffic but not bad. We had made it to the studio right on time and were rushing in to get out of the chill in the air.
I walked inside with Harry right behind me with his hand on my lower back, guiding me to the booth. When I get there I am met with Lance sitting on the arm of the long black couch and two girls, one with dirty blonde hair and one with short bright red hair, standing next to him. Sitting in a chair by the mixing board was Jeff and sitting on the couch across from him next to Lance was Mitch and Sarah. There was a tall guy with platinum hair sitting on the other arm of the couch.
They were all laughing at something Mitch had said right before we had walked in. All eyes shot over to where Harry and I stood.
"Hey! You guys are here!" Jeff said, walking over and pulling us each into a tight hug.
"Hey! It's good to see you," Lance says, walking over to me and hugging me.
"Hey man it's really good to meet you," he says shaking hands with Harry.
"You too. Heard alot about you."
"Paige I want to introduce you to the people I was telling you about yesterday on the phone. This is Katie," he says gesturing to the girl with the dirty blonde hair.
"It's great to meet you! I saw your performance on Halloween. So good!" she says with a cherry tone.
She seemed kind and genuine.
"Oh thank you! It's really nice to meet you too. Piano right?"
"Yup. That's me," she says smiling.
"This is Celeste on bass," Lance says. The girl with flaming hair walks over to say hi.
"Hey. I'm Celeste. So excited to do this with you."
"It's nice to meet you too."
"And finally this is Finn. He's a drummer. He also goes to Pace and he's in one of my classes with me. Absolutely killer," Lance says.
"Hey. Nice to meet you."
"You too," I say. "It's nice to meet all of you guys and thank you for agreeing to this on such short notice. I'm really excited to work with all of you." Jeff stands up from his chair and looks at all of us.
"Okay so let's all head in the studio and talk out some ideas. It's time to get to work."
...
Hey guys!! Happy Valentine's day!! Love you all very much!! I really liked writing this chapter. I don't know but I'm excited for things to start happening. Also should I make a spotify for Paige so you can see her playlist and some future things?? Lemme know!! Get excited and buckle up baby!!
also i forgot i had to update at 3 so i am literally doing this while in the shower while listening to evermore. wow. anyways.
Treat People With Kindness
xoxo
-g