Jacob was kissing her. Not entirely sure if she was dreaming, Jessica lost herself in the feeling of his mouth on hers. It started slow with a mere brush of his lips, but when he returned a moment later it was more insistent and when he nibbled on her lower lip she moaned, allowing him to deepen the kiss. The slight taste of brandy was intoxicating, and she wanted more of him, but he took his time, bestowing her with slow, drugging kisses that made heat travel through every nerve of her body.
When she slid her arms around him and pressed against him, needing him closer, he let out a groan. His hands moved to bury in the long hair at the back of her head as he kissed her, alternating between deep kisses and soft teasing. Sliding his hands down along her back, she gasped when he cupped her bottom and hoisted her up against him, wrapping her legs around his hips.
Pinning her against the wall, he leaned down to nibble a sensitive spot on her neck, and a rush of hot pleasure coursed through her, gathering at the junction of her thighs where their bodies met. Slipping her arms around his shoulders, she laced her fingers through the soft hair at the back of his neck. When his hardness rubbed against her, a moan broke free of her lips as the pleasure intensified.
"God, you feel amazing." The hoarse words mumbled against her skin as he trailed fervent kisses down her throat were nearly as exciting as his touch, and she almost complained when he pulled back slightly to look at her.
Her lips tingled, and she wanted him to continue kissing her. This was a terrible idea, but her body ached for him and she couldn't imagine not kissing him again.
"We should stop," he said. It sounded like a plea. "This will never end well."
She shook her head. Then nodded. Then shook it again. "I don't want to stop," she admitted. Definitely not while he was still pushing against her. Unintentionally, she shimmied a little and immediately gasped as a spear of pleasure shot through her.
He groaned, burying his face in the nook of her shoulder, his hot breath fanning her neck. "Neither do I," he admitted, his voice slightly muffled. "But we really must."
"Must we?" she asked quietly, holding her breath for his answer.
His head shot up and he stared at her with something in between shock and wonder. He touched her cheek with his palm, smiling gently. "You do not know how much I wish we didn't, but we really must. You may not think much of it right now when you're feeling this way, but you would come morning."
She wanted to argue but knew he was right. It was just difficult to focus when her body ached for his touch. The sensation of him against her was better than anything she'd ever experienced, and she was loath to relinquish the feeling.
Seeming to sense her rioting emotions, he gave her a hesitating look. "I could..." He fell silent for a moment before continuing. "I could still pleasure you. Without ruining you."
"Really?" She wasn't entirely sure what that would entail, but the fire inside her liked the idea. As long as he'd keep kissing and touching her, she was more than interested.
He nodded and rolled his hips against her as if to prove his point, making her bite her lower lip to keep from moaning. "Let me help you," he whispered, placing a hot kiss on her neck.
"But, what about you?" she asked uncertainly as she felt her objections melt away under his lips.
He chuckled against her skin. "I've had plenty of pleasure, abstaining once won't kill me."
When he nibbled on her earlobe, she knew she was lost and nodded. Coming back to her mouth, he kissed her deeply while carrying her over to the bed without releasing her. Laying her on the soft mattress, he covered her, his hands caressing a path down her sides to her thighs, then coming back up, taking the thin chemise with and pulling it over her head. The cool night air touched her skin, chasing gooseflesh over her naked chest.
He leaned back slightly, watching her in the flickering light from the oil lamp on the nightstand, his blue eyes burning intensely. His hands traced an invisible trail up her thighs, over her hips, slipping over her ribs and gently sliding over her breasts, teasing her nipples into hard peaks.
"Sweetheart, you're so beautiful." If his almost-reverent touch didn't prove it, the heated gaze certainly did, and any shyness she might have felt evaporated.
Wanting to feel more of him, she leaned up and undid the last few buttons on his shirt and with a little help she got it off him. His skin was feverishly hot under her palms as she ran them down his back to his hips and back again. Sliding them down to his chest, she buried her fingers in the mat of dark hair. The man didn't have a soft spot on his body; he was all rippling muscles and lean perfection. Apparently, he wasn't the lazy rake he allowed people to believe.
She moaned as he leaned down and captured her nipple between his teeth before giving it a lick. Burying her fingers in his hair, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations his kisses, licks and nibbles enticed. It was as if her body was attuned to his every touch, reacting to every caress, every slight movement of his lips and tongue. Frustrated, wanting more, she moved against him, pulling on his shoulders, and with a quiet chuckle, he returned to kiss her again.
With their lips locked, his hand caressed her breast before sliding down along her stomach towards the part of her aching for his touch. When his hand slipped between her legs to stroke her most intimately, she worried she might burst into flame. He continued touching her, bringing forth pleasure like none she'd ever known. Covering her nipple with his hot mouth again, he gently pushed a finger inside her and she let out a low moan. If she'd thought she'd been on fire before, it was nothing compared to the pool of liquid heat currently gathering where he touched her. While slowly moving the finger inside, his thumb rubbed lightly over the sensitive nub, longing for his attention and she nearly expired on the spot.
Closing her eyes as the pleasure intensified beneath his tender ministrations, she couldn't take much more of this. Lost in the moment, she didn't realise he was kissing a trail along her chest until she felt a wet kiss on her bellybutton.
She touched his hair hesitantly, torn between curiosity and mortification at what she guessed he was about to do. "Jacob?" she whispered. "I don't know if you should..."
He looked up at her from between her legs, giving her a look of mingled desire, amusement and frustration. "Jessica," he drawled. "I know you enjoy arguing with me, but do you think, for once, you could just trust me?"
"I..." She blushed. "I suppose."
"That's my girl," he mumbled against the inside of her thigh, his stubble scratching lightly as he placed a soft kiss on the sensitive skin.
Before she could object further, his mouth replaced his fingers at the core of her desire, and she couldn't have said anything even if she'd wanted to. All she could do was moan as her fingers clutched at the bedding to anchor her in the storm. The previous heat paled compared to the inferno building with every stroke of his tongue, every lick and nibble. As he focused on the sensitive nub, the pressure built until it was nearly unbearable. When she didn't think she could take anymore, he pushed a finger inside again, matching every flick of his tongue with a deliciously wicked movement, and her world erupted as the fire exploded, sending wildfire chasing through her limbs.
Jacob moved up and captured her mouth in a kiss that echoed her passion and urgency. Without thinking, she pulled on his breeches and when they were off, she ran her fingernails over his backside, eliciting a groan deep in his throat. Moving his hands to bury them in her hair, he deepened the kiss as he rocked against her and she moaned as the friction sent sparks through her body. Wanting him closer, she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, loving the feel of him against her.
Something foreign pressed against her, and there was a moment's discomfort as he filled her in a way his finger had not. They stilled, staring at each other. He looked as shocked as she felt.
"Jacob?" she whispered, her eyes not leaving his. "Are you ruining me?"
He swallowed with difficulty. "I'm afraid so."
"Maybe you should stop?" she suggested helpfully.
He buried his face in the crook of her neck and she could feel his chuckle reverberate through their bodies. When he lifted his head, the warm smile combined with the mirth in his eyes made her stomach fill with warmth. At that moment, she wanted to keep him with her forever.
"I'm sorry," he said, growing more serious. "It's not a laughing matter, but I think those books of yours are sorely lacking. It's not something I can undo." He grimaced.
She frowned. If that was the case... His weight wasn't uncomfortable, she rather enjoyed the feeling of him on her. In her. Shifting underneath him, she adjusted to the intrusion. It felt right. Like this was exactly what she'd been waiting for.
He groaned. "Jessica... If you want me to stop, you must not—" He closed his eyes for a moment as she pushed against him again. "Move. Oh, God... You feel so good, sweetheart."
She dug her fingers into the hair at the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss as he moved his hips. The friction made her gasp against his mouth, the fire inside her reigniting.
"We should stop," he said, his voice strained. "I can't—"
Kissing him again, she stemmed his words. Running her hands down his back, she loved the feeling of his warm skin against her fingertips. When he wrenched his mouth from hers, she stared up at him, wanting to commit the sight to her memory.
"Jessica." Her name on his lips was something in between a plea and a warning.
"If I'm already ruined," she whispered. "You might as well do it properly."
His eyes widened, gleaming in the lamp's glow, and for a moment she feared he might deny her. Then his mouth captured hers in a deep, soul-stirring kiss that stoked the fire inside her to a blazing roar.
If she had any doubts about the wisdom of her actions, they were temporarily dispelled as he began moving rhythmically, every roll of his hips bringing a fresh wave of pleasure. Each thrust stoked the flames hotter and hotter until they erupted in a blaze that threatened to engulf her. Capturing her cry with his mouth, he buried himself deep inside her with a muffled groan as he found his own release.
Nuzzling into her neck, he remained on her as their breaths settled into a slower rhythm. She absently played with the soft hair at the back of his neck with one hand. She could scarcely believe she'd just made love to Jacob. The man she'd been dreaming of since before she knew what these things were. And it had been glorious. Better than any dream she could have conjured.
He rolled off her onto his back, staring up into the ceiling. Tilting her head to the side, she watched his profile, not liking the haunted look on his face. He glanced at her quickly before returning to stare at the empty ceiling for another moment.
"What have I done?" The words were quiet, incredulous, but loud enough that she could hear them. He sat up, running a hand through his already messy hair. "Bloody hell."
With restless energy, he got off the bed and pulled on his breeches before staring at her, his eyes dark pits of despair. "Jessica... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—" He shook his head, frustration etched in the lines of his face. "I won't marry you."
"I never asked you to," she said stiffly, sitting and pulling the covers up, not liking the implication that she'd expected him to. "I don't want to marry you, either."
Her answer didn't seem to please him as he gave her a dark look. "I'm sorry," he said again, and his repeated excuses were beginning to annoy her. They were both at fault. She had allowed this to happen as much as he had. He swallowed. "I just... I can't marry you."
"Don't fret," she said coldly, ignoring the tiny stab of pain in her heart from his words. Not that he wouldn't marry. He wouldn't marry her. "I'm hardly the first girl you've ruined and not married."
His head shot up, and he gave her a grim look. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I heard about that poor girl you ruined in London some years ago and then refused to marry, even though she was with child." She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a frosty look. "That's despicable."
"Yes, I seem to be despicable, don't I?" he said lightly, but she could hear the bitterness in his voice even if he tried to hide it. Not looking at her, he muttered, "You shouldn't believe everything you hear."
With that he left the room, slamming the door behind him, making her flinch. She stared at it for a moment before flinging herself back onto the bed. Well, that hadn't ended quite as well as one might have hoped. Their lovemaking had been wonderful, and as much as she probably ought to, she couldn't bring herself to regret it. One night of passion with Jacob was all she ever would have wanted from him, anyway, since she didn't think he'd make a good husband. That she'd been ruined in the process was less than ideal, but as long as they kept it a secret, she suspected she could get away with it. And with his insistence he had no intention of marrying her, she felt safe that Jacob would not spread any rumours.
But his remorse hurt. He obviously hadn't enjoyed it as much as she, since he couldn't get out of there quick enough, struggling to so much as look at her. Any friendship they might have had would be impossible now. That might be her one regret.
She punched her pillow in frustration once before finally falling into a restless sleep.
The next morning she stayed in her room longer than usual, not ready to face Jacob yet. Feigning a headache, she didn't venture downstairs until past noon. By the time she did, she discovered Olivia had gone to Bridlewood and Jacob was nowhere to be seen. With nothing better to do, she sought out the duke and found him sitting in the library reading a book. He looked up when she entered and gave her one of his rare smiles.
"Are you feeling better, Lady Jessica?" he asked politely.
"Yes, thank you very much." She remained silent for a moment. "Do you perhaps know where Jacob is?" Drat. She'd promised herself she wouldn't ask.
The duke looked at her and then marked the page in his book and put it aside. "My son departed for London this morning. Said he'd been away for too long," he added dryly.
"I see," she mumbled. So he wouldn't even be in the same house as her.
"Are you all right, Lady Jessica?" the duke asked her. "You look a little pale."
"I feel a little faint, I'm afraid." It was almost true. Shattered pride could make one faint, couldn't it?
"Perhaps it's best if you get some more rest."
"Yes, I think I will do that." She stood and smiled at the older man before leaving the library and going back upstairs. With every step, her anger intensified. It was unfair of Jacob to treat her like some leper. She had not asked for any commitments and certainly did not expect him to marry her. Wouldn't have said yes even if he'd asked. She didn't want him! He was an arrogant arse and a nuisance more often than not. Not to mention, a reprehensible rake that would never stay faithful to any wife. He was all these things and more.
She sighed. But he was also the man who had stolen her heart.
~~~~~~