!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Warning: Mature rated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~but only starting with around the second half of the chapter.~
~Xiao Zhan's POV~
After putting out the fire in the stove, we went outside, neither of us mentioning what had just happened.
"We are so lucky that the forest is a birch forest.
This white birch bark is the best for firewood, it's not wet and it's burning perfectly.", BoBo spoke, while opening the car door for me.
I thought that we would walk , but he explained that the road along the lake, leading to the forest, it's landscaped.
He kept talking while driving:
"But it's a pity that it's only February and the forest will look kind of depressive. If it would have been at least March, we could have found mushrooms and even flowers.
Birch forest is much more attractive in spring and summer, but the most beautiful is in the autumn time.
You will love it, much more for sure, when we will come in autumn, the colors are amazing.
Am I boring you? Just tell me to shut up, if you are fed up with my nature rambling."
"No, no, it's fine, I love it. But how come you know so much about trees and stuff?", I smiled widely, because of two main reasons.
One, I was grateful to have him rambling on. It saved us from an awkward conversation about our making out session.
And two, I smiled because of that: "...when we will come in autumn"...
He started telling me stories from trips with his friends.
I loved how his whole face was getting enlightened while talking:
"Wow, you are really passionate about nature, I envy you.
The only trips I attended in nature were when I was a kid, in elementary school years.
I have no clue about mountain hiking, camping or ocean diving. All that stuff you are talking about, sounds to me like scenes cut from books or movies, not from real life."
"Do not worry, I can teach you...
I can show you the wooorld
Shining, shimmering splendiiid", Wang Yibo started to sing.
I joined him, and we sang together:
"A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you"
My heart almost broke my rib cage when he repeated the last verse in a whispered voice, while taking one of my hands and pressing a soft kiss in the hollow of my palm.
"Errmm, BoBo, can I ask you something?", I encouraged myself.
"Of course, but before asking, promise me that you will let me show you the world, no matter what."
"No matter what?
What is that supposed to mean?", I asked, puzzled at his wording.
"I mean, I want us to come here together in the autumn, no matter if you will get back together with the jerk.
I noticed how scared you got when he pretended to kill himself, I think you are still in love with him.
But, even if you two will get back together, we could still be friends, don't we?", he glanced at me with hopeful eyes, not letting go to my hand, but interlacing our fingers together.
Ouch! That hurt!
I withdrew slowly my hand from his, and tried to prevent my voice from cracking:
"Friends...yeah...We could be friends...
But, what a hell are you talking about?
I could never get back together with Yu Bin!
Yes, our relationship was special, but I'm not in love with him, I can now be honest to myself and admit that I have never been, actually.
I don't think that it could be called love, that kind of love, the feeling that he was my responsibility to take care of him.
Of course, I was scared when he threatened to kill himself.
That would have meant that the three years of psychological therapy were not effective enough.
Yu Bin was a very sick person, and I think he still is.
But I have no more strength remaining in myself to keep on taking care of him.
Especially not after meeting you.
Yes, you! Don't look at me like this!
When I met you I had a sudden revelation, that maybe I should have the right to think about my own happiness, too, not only about others' well being.
I will tell you about Yu Bin and me , later, if you are curious, but now let me ask you the thing I wanted to know since a while: why didn't you tell me that you are gay?
Because you are gay, aren't you?
Otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me. At least not the way you did."
"I didn't tell you, because you asked only about Wei Wu Xian, not about me.
I didn't think you were interested in my person.
And I kissed you, because I felt the need to kiss you. Not only on that particular moment, but from the first time we've met.
Zhan Zhan, I like you very much, I really do...I like you so much that I'd be content with being only good friends, if we can't be more.
Also, I admit that I want you very much...I mean, the urge and need to have you are eating my guts..."
"You mean, you want to be my friend, but a friend who fu*ks me?", I asked in irritation. An irritation mixed with hurt.
"Zhan Zhan, please don't feel offended.
Of course that I'd like to be more than friends, but I don't want to be your pickle.
Maybe I'd accept it if it would be for someone else, but Zhan Zhan, understand that my feelings for you are something special, the kind I've never felt for anyone else before, and I couldn't bear the pain.", he spoke in a soft tone of voice.
"To be my pickle?!!!"
"Did you never eat so much cake or sweets, that you got nauseated and felt the need to have a bite of something sour?
When it happens to me, I always eat a pickle.
But after I feel better, I go back to eating again the cake or the sweets.
As much as I like pickles from time to time, my favorite will remain the sweets.", he smiled with a sad smile, taking both of my hands in his, after stopping the car.
"Oh, I understand now.
You think that Yu Bin was my cake, and you would be a rebound lover to me, and after a while I'd go back to him.
I admit that somehow I feel strange not being with Yu Bin anymore after three years.
I've never been apart from him since that day when I saved him from being killed by his homophobic step father, and maybe I'm emotionally unstable right now, but...
But I have no intention to go back to him.
On the other hand, maybe it would be too soon for someone new to deal with me.
I wouldn't want to hurt you in any way, but at the same time I don't want to lose you.
I like you, BoBo, very, very much...And I'll honestly admit that I want you, too.
But, yeah there are so many but... But I don't want to lose you as my friend.
Therefore I think it wouldn't be alright for us to have sex, as much as I'd like to."
And that way we both agreed, with a handshake, to remain exclusively good friends.
Friends who will drink a coffee together, maybe more often than occasionally, not as Yibo said that he usually does with his sex partners after one or a few fu*ks.
Both of us tried hard to pretend that our decision was the right one and we were satisfied with being just good friends.
For a while that was relatively easy: we cooked, more like we warmed up on the stove some canned meat, we ate and drank some wine, we had fun laughing at Yibo's stories from his trips, we spent good time like usually two friends would do.
His skills and humor in telling stories are captivating.
Actually, I didn't find, yet, anything about this guy to not captivate me.
It happened only one thing that disturbed me and got me emotional somehow: he brought in his backpack the piece of my homemade chocolate that I gave it to him, when we first met...He didn't throw it.
We ate it together, while I was overly praised for my cooking talent.
It was easy to act like we were just two trip buddies, to act like we were not being sexually and spiritually attracted to each other.
Yeah, it was easy, but only until it was the time to go to sleep.
We've bravely washed up, outside, with water from the lake, cold like Satan's heart, and for brushing teeth we warmed some water on the stove.
To give me some time alone, he made himself busy with stretching the cover sheet over the car.
I closed the zip of the tent, stripped down, put on my sleeping oversized shirt, and crawled into the sleeping bag, praying that he would not notice my "weird" sleeping outfit.
Weird to others, but not to me.
I can't give up on my sleeping habit, nothing feels more comfortable than sleeping wearing nothing underneath an oversized pajama shirt.
Everyone should try it!
But this time I made an exception by wearing a pair of clean briefs too, given to the circumstances.
By the time he came inside, I pretended on sleeping. It was for the best to avoid more awkwardness between us.
I heard him putting some more wood in the stove and unzipping his backpack, probably for getting his pajamas.
The sleeping bag was double, for two persons, indeed, but still pretty narrow.
Even though I crumpled myself at the furthest edge, when he crawled inside, his chest was practically plastered to my back.
I tried to refrain myself from shuddering at his disturbing proximity.
"You are still shivering from that damn ice cold water.
But don't worry, soon you will get warmed up, we will keep each other warm.
I had in the trunk an empty aluminum canister which I filled with water and put it on the stove. That way we will have warm water in the morning.
Are you asleep?", he whispered, rising straight up into the air the thin hair from my nape and from my whole body with his hot breath ghosting the back of my neck, and his arm thrown over my waist.
I answered nothing, but it was harder and harder to pretend that I was sleeping, especially when I learned that he was wearing nothing on his upper body.
I knew that because when he slipped his arm underneath me, and his other arm across my upper arm, my skin came into a straight contact with his bare chest.
~MISSING PART~
________________________________________________________
You can find the completed MRated chapters in a separated book with similar cover and title, just that it's with the 🔞 added on it
Author note: This 🔞book with the completed chapter will come tommorow!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Same story with no pics/gifs inserted along the text
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Xiao Zhan's POV~
After putting out the fire in the stove, we went outside, neither of us mentioning what had just happened.
"We are so lucky that the forest is a birch forest.
This white birch bark is the best for firewood, it's not wet and it's burning perfectly.", BoBo spoke, while opening the car door for me.
I thought that we would walk , but he explained that the road along the lake, leading to the forest, it's landscaped.
He kept talking while driving:
"But it's a pity that it's only February and the forest will look kind of depressive. If it would have been at least March, we could have found mushrooms and even flowers.
Birch forest is much more attractive in spring and summer, but the most beautiful is in the autumn time.
You will love it, much more for sure, when we will come in autumn, the colors are amazing.
Am I boring you? Just tell me to shut up, if you are fed up with my nature rambling."
"No, no, it's fine, I love it. But how come you know so much about trees and stuff?", I smiled widely, because of two main reasons.
One, I was grateful to have him rambling on. It saved us from an awkward conversation about our making out session.
And two, I smiled because of that: "...when we will come in autumn"...
He started telling me stories from trips with his friends.
I loved how his whole face was getting enlightened while talking:
"Wow, you are really passionate about nature, I envy you.
The only trips I attended in nature were when I was a kid, in elementary school years.
I have no clue about mountain hiking, camping or ocean diving. All that stuff you are talking about, sounds to me like scenes cut from books or movies, not from real life."
"Do not worry, I can teach you...
I can show you the wooorld
Shining, shimmering splendiiid", Wang Yibo started to sing.
I joined him, and we sang together:
"A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you"
My heart almost broke my rib cage when he repeated the last verse in a whispered voice, while taking one of my hands and pressing a soft kiss in the hollow of my palm.
"Errmm, BoBo, can I ask you something?", I encouraged myself.
"Of course, but before asking, promise me that you will let me show you the world, no matter what."
"No matter what?
What is that supposed to mean?", I asked, puzzled at his wording.
"I mean, I want us to come here together in the autumn, no matter if you will get back together with the jerk.
I noticed how scared you got when he pretended to kill himself, I think you are still in love with him.
But, even if you two will get back together, we could still be friends, don't we?", he glanced at me with hopeful eyes, not letting go to my hand, but interlacing our fingers together.
Ouch! That hurt!
I withdrew slowly my hand from his, and tried to prevent my voice from cracking:
"Friends...yeah...We could be friends...
But, what a hell are you talking about?
I could never get back together with Yu Bin!
Yes, our relationship was special, but I'm not in love with him, I can now be honest to myself and admit that I have never been, actually.
I don't think that it could be called love, that kind of love, the feeling that he was my responsibility to take care of him.
Of course, I was scared when he threatened to kill himself.
That would have meant that the three years of psychological therapy were not effective enough.
Yu Bin was a very sick person, and I think he still is.
But I have no more strength remaining in myself to keep on taking care of him.
Especially not after meeting you.
Yes, you! Don't look at me like this!
When I met you I had a sudden revelation, that maybe I should have the right to think about my own happiness, too, not only about others' well being.
I will tell you about Yu Bin and me , later, if you are curious, but now let me ask you the thing I wanted to know since a while: why didn't you tell me that you are gay?
Because you are gay, aren't you?
Otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me. At least not the way you did."
"I didn't tell you, because you asked only about Wei Wu Xian, not about me.
I didn't think you were interested in my person.
And I kissed you, because I felt the need to kiss you. Not only on that particular moment, but from the first time we've met.
Zhan Zhan, I like you very much, I really do...I like you so much that I'd be content with being only good friends, if we can't be more.
Also, I admit that I want you very much...I mean, the urge and need to have you are eating my guts..."
"You mean, you want to be my friend, but a friend who fu*ks me?", I asked in irritation. An irritation mixed with hurt.
"Zhan Zhan, please don't feel offended.
Of course that I'd like to be more than friends, but I don't want to be your pickle.
Maybe I'd accept it if it would be for someone else, but Zhan Zhan, understand that my feelings for you are something special, the kind I've never felt for anyone else before, and I couldn't bear the pain.", he spoke in a soft tone of voice.
"To be my pickle?!!!"
"Did you never eat so much cake or sweets, that you got nauseated and felt the need to have a bite of something sour?
When it happens to me, I always eat a pickle.
But after I feel better, I go back to eating again the cake or the sweets.
As much as I like pickles from time to time, my favorite will remain the sweets.", he smiled with a sad smile, taking both of my hands in his, after stopping the car.
"Oh, I understand now.
You think that Yu Bin was my cake, and you would be a rebound lover to me, and after a while I'd go back to him.
I admit that somehow I feel strange not being with Yu Bin anymore after three years.
I've never been apart from him since that day when I saved him from being killed by his homophobic step father, and maybe I'm emotionally unstable right now, but...
But I have no intention to go back to him.
On the other hand, maybe it would be too soon for someone new to deal with me.
I wouldn't want to hurt you in any way, but at the same time I don't want to lose you.
I like you, BoBo, very, very much...And I'll honestly admit that I want you, too.
But, yeah there are so many but... But I don't want to lose you as my friend.
Therefore I think it wouldn't be alright for us to have sex, as much as I'd like to."
And that way we both agreed, with a handshake, to remain exclusively good friends.
Friends who will drink a coffee together, maybe more often than occasionally, not as Yibo said that he usually does with his sex partners after one or a few fu*ks.
Both of us tried hard to pretend that our decision was the right one and we were satisfied with being just good friends.
For a while that was relatively easy: we cooked, more like we warmed up on the stove some canned meat, we ate and drank some wine, we had fun laughing at Yibo's stories from his trips, we spent good time like usually two friends would do.
His skills and humor in telling stories are captivating.
Actually, I didn't find, yet, anything about this guy to not captivate me.
It happened only one thing that disturbed me and got me emotional somehow: he brought in his backpack the piece of my homemade chocolate that I gave it to him, when we first met...He didn't throw it.
We ate it together, while I was overly praised for my cooking talent.
It was easy to act like we were just two trip buddies, to act like we were not being sexually and spiritually attracted to each other.
Yeah, it was easy, but only until it was the time to go to sleep.
We've bravely washed up, outside, with water from the lake, cold like Satan's heart, and for brushing teeth we warmed some water on the stove.
To give me some time alone, he made himself busy with stretching the cover sheet over the car.
I closed the zip of the tent, stripped down, put on my sleeping oversized shirt, and crawled into the sleeping bag, praying that he would not notice my "weird" sleeping outfit.
Weird to others, but not to me.
I can't give up on my sleeping habit, nothing feels more comfortable than sleeping wearing nothing underneath an oversized pajama shirt.
Everyone should try it!
But this time I made an exception by wearing a pair of clean briefs too, given to the circumstances.
By the time he came inside, I pretended on sleeping. It was for the best to avoid more awkwardness between us.
I heard him putting some more wood in the stove and unzipping his backpack, probably for getting his pajamas.
The sleeping bag was double, for two persons, indeed, but still pretty narrow.
Even though I crumpled myself at the furthest edge, when he crawled inside, his chest was practically plastered to my back.
I tried to refrain myself from shuddering at his disturbing proximity.
"You are still shivering from that damn ice cold water.
But don't worry, soon you will get warmed up, we will keep each other warm.
I had in the trunk an empty aluminum canister which I filled with water and put it on the stove. That way we will have warm water in the morning.
Are you asleep?", he whispered, rising straight up into the air the thin hair from my nape and from my whole body with his hot breath ghosting the back of my neck, and his arm thrown over my waist.
I answered nothing, but it was harder and harder to pretend that I was sleeping, especially when I learned that he was wearing nothing on his upper body.
I knew that because when he slipped his arm underneath me, and his other arm across my upper arm, my skin came into a straight contact with his bare chest.
~MISSING PART~
________________________________________________________
You can find the completed MRated chapters in a separated book with similar cover and title, just that it's with the 🔞 added on it
Author note: This 🔞book with the completed chapter will come tommorow!