Being Blake's girlfriend wasn't so much different from being his hookup, except for we didn't have a taboo topic. Our future.
Since the afternoon we talked in the laboratory, his words were like a wake-up call to me. As much as I wanted to hold on to my dream future, without Blake in it, I could barely see what life had in store for me.
I fell for him. Hard. And it took me forever to admit it because the other part of me was still unsure about love and marriage. I still doubted that it was a thing for me. Because loving someone meant we gave a part of ourselves to our loved one and trusted the person to hold it or to break it.
Will Blake hold a piece of my heart or will he break it? I dared not think of it right now. All I knew was that I didn't want to lose him.
Despite his intense upbringing, Blake was surprisingly an open-minded person when it came to being a partner. It wasn't about having an open relationship, obviously, since we both agreed that we didn't share. It was more about giving me enough room to move.
In my whole life, people around me always told me what was best for me, even when I didn't ask for advice. They wanted to look out for me and I loved them for that, but it was suffocating sometimes. Even my deceitful ex, Tom, always treated me like I was a clueless teenager who needed guidance.
Blake didn't do those things. He listened to my problem, he gave his opinions about the issue, but he wouldn't decide anything for me. I wasn't used to having this, at least not in an extensive way. Even though Blake said he would fully support whatever decisions I made, I couldn't help feeling anxious sometimes. I supposed this was my learning curve of being an adult.
The current test of being one was when I had to decide where I was going to live. I'd been frustrated in the past few days because Nadine and I had come to our last month of being tenants in our flat. Since I decided to stay two months ago, I canceled moving into my mom's apartment.
"You're not listening to me!" I grumbled at my boyfriend who was fixing his eyes on the TV screen. While glaring at him, I put the rest of the croutons from the oven plate into the salad bowl before adding the Caesar dressing to it.
"Of course." Blake tore his eyes from the TV monitor and turned his head to me. "I mean, of course, I'm listening to you."
I put both my hands on my hips. "And? What did I say again?"
"You said..." Blake glanced up, peering at the ceiling. "You didn't know which one to choose, the one in the city or near your current place?"
He did listen. Not wanting to deal with his smug face, I turned around and continued preparing for our lunch. "I'm so tempted to take the one in the city but it's freaking expensive. But then I don't have to burn money for transportation. Everything is within walking distance, including your apartment." I bent over to grab two plates from the cupboard. "The problem is, if I can't get a better job, I'm screwed."
Blake bit his upper lip. I knew he was tempted to tell me to join his Center and not to worry about money, but the last time he did that, it didn't end well. I would not take charity even if it was coming from him, scratch that, especially if it was coming from him. This was not my reason to be with him. I wouldn't want to be his burden, not as long as I could help it. What was the point of getting my degree if I couldn't find a decent job and become an independent human being?
"Well, you still have a month. Maybe look around some more? We can always go check the places on weekends." Blake got up and joined me in the kitchen. He sneaked up behind me and wrapped his hands around my waist, pressing his jaw against my cheek. "Don't worry too much about it."
We sat at his breakfast counter and started digging into the salad, but my mind was still busy digging into my plans.
I'd been working in an international rental company as a junior HR staff for a month. It was a rather clerical job in the first year before they let me into the higher function in the human-resource dynamic. I wasn't very happy with the job, but this was the best option at the moment. Surely, I could find jobs with better pay, but then there was no career path, and I would throw away my background skills. I didn't want that. It would be like chopping my own fingers.
Blake glanced at me as he brought a big chunk of grilled chicken into his mouth. "Also, you can always stay here until you find a place for yourself."
The fact that we spent every weekend in his apartment had me unconsciously building my nest here at his place. He even made a space in his drawers and wardrobe so that I could keep my stuff. Still, moving in was a different story. It was far too soon. Also, we had not yet gone public about our relationship. Heck, I hadn't even told my parents about him.
Unfortunately, Blake had to stay at the university until the end of the year, meaning he was still officially a professor at the campus I was studying. We needed to stay under the radar for as long as we could, or at least until I attended my graduation ceremony.
"Hey." Blake nudged my elbow, pulling me out of my bubble. "I said you can always stay here as long as you want."
"Yeah, I heard you," I mumbled as I smiled at him. "Thank you."
Later in the evening, we lay in bed and talked about stupid moments in our life. Blake became less and less responsive after a while, nuzzling his face to the back of my neck while his breath tickled my skin. When a faint snore vibrated from behind me, I knew he had departed to his dreamland, leaving me behind with my thoughts.
Peaceful. That was what I felt right now. There was no other place I'd rather be than being here, in his arms. I chose to stay for him, for us, and I hadn't regretted my decision.
Blake was an awesome boyfriend. Well, he was still the notorious, insensitive asshole, but he was my asshole. His directness and tendency to not sugarcoat things made it so easy to be with him. I didn't need to second guess what he meant which assured me that he didn't have hidden agendas.
The weekends were still my favorite time because Blake and I could disappear from the world and stay in our little bubble. But when Monday came, the bliss vanished into thin air. Every time I put on my uniform —yes, we wore a uniform at work, an uneasiness started to crawl in me because the five-day torture was about to start. But I convinced myself that it was just a normal problem in working life, that it was just a little obstacle for me before I moved forward.
I had a job with a regular paycheck so that I could cover my bills. I had a hot and supportive boyfriend. I made my mom cry with joy when she heard about my plan on staying. I could even see the relief on my old man's face when I broke the news to him. Everyone was happy. It should be enough reason for me to be happy. Right?
My graduation day had arrived. We were lucky that the weather was also celebrating with us. After a wet and gloomy week, the sun finally sparkled in the clear blue sky, radiating its warmth.
After a couple of brief presentations delivered by guest speakers, the ceremony began. We lined up next to the stage, waiting for our names to be announced one by one. A big grin plastered on Blake's face when I walked to the podium to receive my diploma. A few rows behind him, sat my dad with his proud gaze with Mom next to him, busy dabbing her cheek with a tissue. A sudden rush of warmth filled my heart just by thinking about how much I loved these people.
When the graduation ceremony was finally over, the master of ceremony counted on three before we threw our caps into the air and shouted out our freedom. We were congratulating each other when Nadine squeezed me into a tight embrace.
"We made it, Jenny!"
"Yes! Finally!" I grinned at her. "We're finally free! Um, I mean I'm finally free."
Nadine rolled her eyes. "Don't ruin the moment, please. The Master's program won't start before September. I just want to savor my student-less status even if it's only for two months."
"True. And you're going on a holiday to Maldive!" I squealed.
"Yes..." Nadine's voice faltered as she looked up at someone behind me.
Blake's scent hit my nostril before I could turn my head to see who was standing close to my back. "Congratulations, ladies."
"Thank you, sir," Nadine replied, confusion plastered on her face.
"I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'd like to have a word with Ms. Adrian."
"Oh yeah, of course!" Nadine stuttered before giving me another hug. "I'll see you tonight at home then." With that, she dashed to the others, joining a group of squealing girls.
"Oh no, she will be in my bed tonight," Blake mumbled but hard enough for me to hear. "But let's save it for tonight. Now, follow me. I'm going to introduce you to someone."
"Who?" I asked but Blake was already walking away.
With curiosity growing in me, I followed him as he headed back to the stage, where all the faculty staff members and the guest speakers gathered. My heart picked up the pace with anticipation. What was going on?
"Jenny, my favorite student!" Mr. Watson exclaimed, grinning widely at me. "Congratulations!"
Feeling a few pairs of eyes fall on me, I smiled at him nervously. "Thank you, sir!"
Mr. Watson and I had become familiar with each other now that he was Blake's advisor in his private Assessment and Training Center. For some reason, Blake didn't have trouble telling him about us, and I was grateful that he wasn't the nosey kind.
"Just about time! Come! Let me introduce you to Mr. Waltz." Mr. Watson turned his head to the middle-aged man who was standing next to him. He was one of the guest speakers, the representative of the Green Energy team, a leading energy manufacturing company. "This is Jenny Adrian, one of our best graduates this year in our faculty. She accomplished her study in a shorter time than average with remarkable grades. She also served a few months at our faculty Assessment Center."
Mr. Waltz, who listened to Mr. Watson attentively, raised his eyebrows approvingly.
"I'm afraid that Mr. Watson is a little bit too generous," I said, extending my hand to Mr. Waltz. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."
"The pleasure is mine, Ms. Adrian. And congratulations! Well done!" He shook my hand with a tight grip, making me almost wince.
"Thank you, sir. Likewise, it was an amazing speech you shared with us. Very inspiring."
"I'm delighted to share it with all of you. It's always been my call to encourage young talented people to dream big and be ready to explore their limits."
The next thing I knew, we were absorbed into a group discussion about how to break into a successful working life. Even though I was flattered to be in the group, I felt somehow irrelevant. The three men in front of me were in their element but they were definitely out of my league.
"I believe Ms. Adrian needs to continue celebrating her graduation with her family," Blake interjected during the conversation. He must have noticed my restlessness.
"Oh right, of course. Don't let me stop you." Mr. Waltz took a small cardholder out of his pocket. "If you're interested in having a career in the energy industry, do not hesitate to contact me. Actually, we are currently opening a new batch of Management Trainee programs. You're more than welcome to join the selection process."
I held my breath when he extended his business card to me. Nervously, I took it and pretended to read it but my mind went blank.
"If you submit your CV to the second email address stated on the card, we could have a quick look and arrange an interview."
"Oh wow," I gasped, not believing my ears. "Thank you very much for the opportunity. I'll definitely consider this."
"Good. I hope to see you in the program soon." He nodded with a firm smile. "And, again, congratulations."
"Thank you, sir." And it was my cue to leave. We shook hands once more before I nodded briefly at Mr. Watson and Blake. "Mr. Watson, Mr. Andrew."
With Mr. Waltz's business card in my hand, I pivoted on my heels and walked away while my mind ran a mile in a second. What the hell had just happened? Did Blake introduce me to him so that I could get this opportunity? But Remington headquarters was located on the other side of the country. What about us? What about our blossoming relationship? Didn't he want me to stay?
With my head still full of questions, I zigzagged between people who were talking, laughing, squealing, and taking pictures in the campus yard. Squinting my eyes to search among the ocean of humans, I caught my dad's red hair, with Mom, Dean, Brian, and even Sam standing next to him.
"Jennifer Adriaaaaaaaan!" Brian's voice was thundering, stopping the humming sound from people around us. "Congratulations!"
I grinned as my parents and the Parker family walked in my direction. I pushed all my lingering questions about Blake and the job opportunity to the back of my head as I shoved the silver card into my bag. In the next second, I was crushed in a group hug by the people I called family.
After we took several photos of the campus background, we decided it was time to head to our cars. Dad had booked a table at a five-star hotel & restaurant up on the hill for my celebration lunch, and he also booked me a room for one night, together with unlimited access to the spa treatment as my surprise graduation gift.
"Hey, Jen," Dean murmured, his hand rubbing the back of his neck while he was eyeing the rest of our family who was walking away. "Before we go, umm, Ma would love to congratulate you in person...if you're okay with that."
"Okay?" I wasn't sure about what he meant by 'in person'. Was Katherine on the phone now? But then my question was answered when my eyes fell on a woman standing next to a graduation banner; the woman once I called my second mother.
Katherine wore a yellow mustard dress that suited her tanned skin color. Gigantic sunglasses framed her diamond-shaped face while her hands held a bouquet of orange and yellow tulips. It had been over a year since I saw her, and she wasn't as thin as I remembered. Her brown hair was let loose, passing her shoulder level. Katherine used to hate long hair. It seemed like things had changed so much in the past twelve months.
She shifted on her feet while waving at me hesitantly. I took a deep breath and slowly walked to where Katherine was standing. I wasn't sure what I felt about her at the moment, but at least I would act civil today.
When I stopped in front of her, I forced a smile. "Hey."
"Hello, Jenny." Katherine pushed her brown sunglasses up, brushing her hair backward. She then extended the flowers in her hand to me. "Congratulations on your graduation."
"Thank you."
"You're a grown woman now, and very pretty." She smiled while fiddling with her fingers. "Dean updated all the news about you regularly. I'm so proud of you."
"Thank you, Katine."
Katherine smiled widely when her nickname slipped through my lips. Katine was how I pronounced her name when I learned to say it for the first time. I never got it right for quite some time and the name stayed.
"I...also haven't got a chance to apologize to you. It's–"
"It's fine. It's in the past now," I said.
"Okay," Katherine mumbled, looking unsure.
After standing there for a good thirty seconds without knowing what to say, Katherine cleared her throat. "I guess I should get going now. I thought I would just pop up to congratulate you while I'm in town. I wish the best of luck for your future, Jenny."
"Thanks. And also thank you for the flowers. They're beautiful."
Katherine put back her sunglasses on. "You're welcome. This is the least I could do for now. Enjoy your celebration, Jenny." With that, she nodded and turned on her heels.
"Maybe...we can catch up over coffee sometimes while you're here?" I had no idea why I asked her this.
Katherine spun around and her lips curled up into a bright smile. "I'd love that."
I grinned back at her, feeling the warmth —which wasn't coming from the glaring sun above— crept into me, bringing back the piece of happiness that had been long lost.