I was in the hospital for about 2 weeks I didn't have any visitors until my last day there. I was getting my stuff together for discharge when I heard a knock on the door, I turned around, "Hey kiddo." I smiled, "Bobby." He came over and I hugged him, "How you doin?" "I'm getting out today." "That's great." "Thanks for coming to see me." "Sorry I didn't come sooner I just didn't know what to say." "Bobby Singer speechless that's gotta be a first." He smiled, "I'm sorry about the baby." He said while holding his hat and looking down. "Thank you. Hey it just wasn't meant to be." "Hey you can still have kids one day." I looked down, "Not for me. I wanted a baby with Dean and now that's never gonna happen." "Whaddcha mean?" "Have you talked Dean lately?" "No not since..well about 2 weeks, what's going on?" "I told him I never wanted to see him again." Bobby's face got sad, "Why?" I exhaled, "I can't put myself in that life any more, I thought I could ya know let him help every once in awhile but I knew that wouldn't last, when I found out I was pregnant my whole perspective on life changed, I wanted me and the baby to be enough but we just weren't." "Oh darlin I'm sorry, but are you sure you wanna give up on him? I mean he lost the baby too." I started to get upset, "If he would have stayed away then none of this would have even happened." "I get ya but..." "No more buts Bobby, please." He nodded, "So what now?" "Go back to my house and pack up my things and start over....again." "I suppose I can't talk you into stayin with me for awhile I mean you are a great cook and it would give you time to..." "That's nice of you but I just can't see him right now." "They don't come see me that often, and the dog loves runnin around the scrap yard." "You put up a good argument.. Sure I'll stay but just a couple weeks." "That's just great, I really appreciate it. Do you need a ride?" "No I called a cab." He hugged me and left. I was wheeled out and I got in the cab, I couldn't wait to get home and make sure my dog was ok. I unlocked the door and called for her but she didn't come, "Aurora come here!!!! Come on girl!!" I walked around the whole house and I noticed her bowls were gone. I picked up my phone and called the one person who would know where my dog is. "Dude Nikkis calling." "Why would she be calling you?" "I don't know should I answer it?" "Up to you." "Hello? Hey how are you...um yeah he does, I'll let you talk...oh ok I will tell him." He hung up the phone, "What did she want?" "Her dog." Dean looks in the back seat at the sleeping dog, "That's all she wanted?" "Yeah sorry. She asked if I could meet her some place and give her the dog back." Dean looked so heartbroken, "Are you gonna give her the dog back?" He didn't say anything, "Dean???? Hello???" "Um yeah it's her dog I just was keeping her until she got better." Sam just nodded, "I have to admit it was nice havin her here, she is such a good dog." "She is but she hasn't been the same since Nic..." "She asked if I can meet her at the house." "We are pretty far away, so tell her tomorrow." I got a text back from Sam saying it will be tomorrow before he can get here. I text him back and said ok. I walked around the house looking at all the things that could have been. I walk to my bedroom and opened the door to an empty room that felt cold. I grabbed my bag out of the closet and a box with a blue bow fell out, "To my future little slugger, love daddy." I opened it and there was a tiny little baseball jersey, with the name Winchester on the back of it. I stepped back and sunk down on bed sobbing holding that little tiny jersey, "Oh baby boy I'm so sorry your life was taken before you even had a chance to live." I cried my self to sleep holding the only thing I had left of my baby. The next day I got everything packed I needed which wasn't much. I was done before Sam came so I sat on the couch waiting. There was a knock on the door and I walked over to open it, "There's my pretty girl!!! I missed you!!" She wags her tail and jumps up and licks my face, "Hey how are you?" "Destroyed. And yourself?" "Soul less." "Wanna trade?" I said "Look Nikki I'm so sorry..." "Save it!" Sam moved to the side and I could see Dean sitting in the car, "I'll be gone in about half an hour he can come get whatever he wants then." He nodded turned around and left. I loaded up the old truck Dean used with a few things and hit the road. "She said she will be gone in a half hour if you wanna come get some stuff." He put the car in gear and without even looking at his brother he said, "Everything I cared about is gone, I have nothing left."
It was about a 7 hour drive to Bobby's so I filled up with gas and grab some food. "Hey kiddo!!" "Hey Bobby, are you sure this is ok?" "Please I insist." "Thank you, the only thing I ask is if you know the boys are coming over you give me a heads up." "Of course, I made stew I hope ya like it." "Thanks I'm sure it will be great." "You can take the room you and...or which ever room suits you." I smiled, "The old room will be fine." I went upstairs and put my bags down. Dean had some things in the room. "Sam should we visit Bobby?" "Um yeah sure I mean we don't have a case and it's been awhile since I saw him last, you want me to call him?" "Nah he never leaves the house so I'm sure he's home." "I'm gonna take the dog out before we eat." He smiled, I walked around the yard and seen the old impala parts he took out after it was wrecked, everywhere I looked I saw Dean which meant I also saw the baby we lost. I went back inside and the dog went to her bed. "Beer?" "Water I think." We ate dinner that night but we didn't say much to each other, "I'll do the dishes since you cooked." "That sounds fair." He smiled and went to his desk. I finished up the dishes and went back upstairs to grab some towels I had. "Bobby I hope you don't mind but..." I was stopped in my tracks, "I didn't know they were comin!" He looks at me worried, I just turned around and went back upstairs. "Uh Bobby what's she doing here?" "I asked her to move in for a bit. Why didn't you idjits call first?!" Sam hits Dean, "I told you!" "Shut up!" "Do ya need help with a case or somethin?" "Do we need an excuse to come see you?" "No that's not what I'm sayin but things are different now." "Why don't you go talk to her I mean we're here you might as well." "Thanks for that advice Sam but I'll pass!" He goes to the kitchen to grab a drink. I was upstairs and I could hear muffled talking, "No Aurora I just took you out! Stop scratching!" But she wouldn't then she started whining. "Ok ok!" I grabbed her leash, "Everything ok?" "Yeah she has to go outside I guess." But she was pulling me towards the kitchen and Dean, "Let's go girl!" But she was fighting me. "Looks like she wants in the kitchen." I glared at Sam, I pulled her outside. Bobby walks in the kitchen and smacks Dean on the back of the head, "Don't be a dumb ass!!! Go outside!" "Bobby I can't!" "Don't you love her?! Don't you want to fix this?!" "Bobby she blames me for losing the baby!!" Deans never shouted at him like that before so Bobby wasn't sure what to say. "I can go talk to her." "Yeah Sam cause you're her favorite person right now." He says while rolling his eyes, "Look man I'm just trying to help cause I gotta tell you, you've been a major downer since..." Dean gets in Sams face, "Since what huh?! Since I left my wife and unborn child to go help you when I should have put them first!" "I didn't make you come I just asked." He grabs Sam by the shirt, "If I wouldn't have left that night my baby would still be alive!" "So it's my fault?" He let's him go, "No it's mine for always trying to protect you when all along they were the ones I should have been protecting."
"Dean! This is not your fault you hear me boy?!" "Bobby.. You're right about a lot of things but this, this is 100% on me, I should have stayed away, stayed where my family was." He walked away and went outside, I was standing off to the side when he comes out, I didn't look at him, he stops beside me and plays with his keys, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry about the baby, I know it's my fault, I feel the pain of losing him every second I'm awake, if I could take it..." I turned to look at him, "All you had to do was choose us." I turned and walked back in the house, I heard the engine roar and the tires throwing gravel all over. Sam goes running out, "Shit! Where did he go?" Sam comes back in, "Do you know where he went?" "I didn't ask and I don't care." Sam huffs, "Ya know you're kind of being a cold bitch." "What did you say to me?" "You heard me!" "Oh I'm being a cold bitch because my husband chose his soul less, crazy, self centered, dysfunctional, demon blood drinking, asshole of a brother over his wife and child." "What did you call me?" Sam starts towards me, "Did I stutter?" As he walks closer my dog jumps up and starts growling at Sam, "I guess she can sense evil!" I turned and walked away, "Sam I think you need to leave." "You can't be serious Bobby!" "Oh I am!" "You're gonna choose that that.." "Watch yourself son!" "Fine! I'm outta here!" Bobby came upstairs and knocked on the door, "You alright?" I walked over and opened it, "I don't know, but thank you for asking." "If you need anything just holler." I smiled and shut the door. I sat on the bed just staring down at my ring, I was so angry at him, I don't understand why we weren't enough. I miss him so much but I can't be with him. I have to find a way to live my life with it just being me. Bobby tried calling Dean several times but he never answered. Dean was sitting on his car with a bottle of whiskey almost empty staring at the moon. He sat there all night trying to understand why this had all happened like it did. The orange colored sun came up and Dean was passed out on the grass. I got up and decided after last night I can't stay here. "Hey Bobby." "Yeah, what's this?" "I just can't stay here, after last night." "Oh, they probably won't come back without calling again." "That's the problem, you're their family they shouldn't have too." "You're my family now too." "Thanks that's sweet of you but it's just best if I break free from everything." "Drop me a line every once in awhile." "I will. Hey I'll trade you that old truck for one of your cars." "Deal." I put my bags and my dog in the car and took off for Arizona, I thought they wouldn't come there so that was the best place. I rented a cute little house and decided I wanted my career back the one I worked so hard on, this time i wasn't hiding I was just done. I didn't have to worry if I would be found or not. So after sometime of studying and exams and the steps I was finally doing what I loved again..saving people.
"How are you doing honey?" This little 6 year old looks up at me with these big eyes, "My arm isn't working." "Aww well I'm gonna fix that for you. Can you tell me what happen?" I asked while I examined her arm, "I was riding my bike and a cat ran out so I got scared and fell off my bike." I looked up at her mom who looked very nervous, "Those cats can be tricky little buggers, can you tell me what color the cat was?" She looks up at her mom almost like she was needing help remembering, "She said it was a white cat." "Allison honey I'm gonna need to take some pictures of your arm ok." She nods, the nurse came in and I told her to get her ready. I stepped out of the room to the nurses station "Hey Sarah can you call Dr. Holt for me." Dr. Holt was the chief of staff, I had some suspicions, "Hey Dr. Holt, so I have this little girl with a broken arm, but the reason I'm calling is I think it might be abuse, could you come down and take a look? Thanks." He came down and we both went into the room, the mother got even more nervous, "Allison this is Dr. Holt I told him how brave you are and he wanted to come see you for himself can you belive that!" She laughed, I took the mother out of the room to ask some questions, "Was she riding by herself?" "Um yeah just down the street from our house." "Who lives in the household?" "Why does that matter?" "For her records." "Oh um me, her, my son and husband." Dr. Holt came out and they were wheeling Allison to X-ray, "She's going to X-ray you can go with her." The mom left, "Can I speak to you in private please?" "Yeah sure." We go to the room and the minute the door closes he's grabbing me to kiss me, "What are you doing??" "I'm sorry I just couldn't help it I haven't seen you in like 17 hours!" "I know, I've missed you too, but if we get caught we are both in trouble." "Uhhhhh ok fine!! But tonight when you come over we are not leaving the bed for 17 hours!!!" I kissed him and said, "Ok." "Oh by the way you should call Sharon at cps that little girl had bruises all over her back." My heart sank, he winks at me and shuts the door. I called Sharon and she took it from there. My shift ended at 2 am and I was so tired but I promised Liam I would come over, he is the first man since Dean that I even let hold my hand. Its been 2 years since I last saw Dean but I still think about him and what could have been. I often wonder how he's doing and if he's moved on. I speak to Bobby less and less and actually it's been about 4 months since the last time, which is strange. I've been dating Liam for about 5 months and he's perfect. Of course without him realizing I put him through all the test just to be on the safe side. He's tall good looking successful so smart and funny, with him it was easy, but still he can't make my body weak with just a look like Dean could. "How was work?" "Oh you know never a dull moment." "Come here you!" He pulled me into him and he kissed me, "You hungry?" "No just tired, im gonna take a quick shower and then go to bed ok?" "Um yeah sure." I know he's frustrated with me because I haven't slept with him yet and don't get me wrong I am attracted to him but I just can't picture anyone but Dean. I took a shower and when I got out he was in bed waiting for me, I walked over and sat on the bed, he grabs me and pulls me on top of him, "Are you happy with me?" "Why would you ask that?" "I don't know sometimes it seems like you are some place else." I smiled at him, "I'm sorry. I told you about my last relationship so I'm a little weary." "I can understand that, I mean that guy was kind of a tool." "I wouldn't say that, I would say he was lost." "Well he must have been an idiot to let you go!" "Trust me I'm nothing special." "You are to me." I don't know if it was him saying exactly what I needed to hear or maybe I was ready but I started to kiss him and it deepened quickly, I took off my shirt and his, he looked at me with such a sweet look in his eyes, he started to kiss my neck when my phone went off, "Ignore it!" "I can't I'm on call." "Crap!!!!" He said, "Just let me check it." I got up with no shirt on and grabbed my phone, it was a number I didn't know, "Hello? Sam? Why are you?... No. No you're lying! How? When? I...where is he?! I'm getting on a plane right now!" "Everything ok?" "No a very good friend of mine well more like a father was shot in the head, I need to leave." "I'm coming with you." "That's sweet but I don't..." "Listen we are in this together and I want to be there for you so I'm coming!" "I've gotta call the airline and..." He walks up and puts his hands on me, "Let me call my father he will let us use his plane." "Your father has a plane?" "Well his company does but he can use it when ever." He called and made all the arraignments, he even had someone go to my house and watch Aurora. I knew him coming was gonna be bad but I couldn't talk him out of it, and if it wasn't for him I would still be waiting for a flight. "Sam!" I ran over to him, "Where's Bobby?" "He's being operated on but he's been in there a long time." "It's ok that doesn't necessarily mean the worst." Sam and Liam just kind of looked at each other, "Sam this is Liam, Liam this is Sam. He's the chief of staff where I work." They shook hands, "Let me go see if they will tell me anything." "Thanks." Liam left to go find out anything medically, "How are you holding up?" Sam exhales, "Not sure I mean it's surreal." "I dont wanna ask but are you?.." "Whole again? Yeah. So this guys he's not just your boss is he?" "No. Where's Dean?" "He's talking to some guy about insurance and crap."
"Nikki I'm glad you came but you probably should have left him home." "I tried Sam. He insisted and we got here so fast because of him." "What do you mean?" "We came on his fathers plane." "Um wow ok." Just then I seen Dean walking towards Sam, he hasn't seen me yet, when I saw him my heart stopped, Sam turned around and when he did that Dean saw me, we said nothing he just ran over and picked me up and hugged me so tight. "How are you doing Dean?" "I'm glad you're here." "Of course." He was squeezing me so tight and he wouldn't let me go, "Ok so I found..." Dean let's go and looks at him, "Liam this is Dean." Dean said nothing. "Dean, I've heard a lot about you." He puts his hand out but Dean just looks at him and then back at me, shakes his head and storms out of the hospital, "Dean! Wait!" I start to go after him but Sam stops me, "Just let him go, he's been through hell the last 24 hours." "I don't care Sam!" I pulled away and followed him but when I got outside he was talking to some guy in a car, "Dean?" He turns around, "Well well what do we have here?" "Nic go back in!" I walk down and stand by him, "No I want to explain!" "I don't think we've met, I'm Dick Roman." I just looked at him and raised my eyebrow, Dean clinches his jaw and goes to the car, "I'm gonna make you pay for Bobby you can bet your ass! Come on Dick Roman do something!!!" "You better get back in I hear your friends not doing so hot oh and your friend up there looks delicious I might have to give her a try." He rolls up the window and leaves, "Dean who was that?" "That is the son of a bitch who shot Bobby!!!" "What? Why don't you tell the cops?!" He just gives me a look, walks back in the hospital. Dean walks up to Liam and punches him without even saying a word, he falls to the ground, "Dean!!!! What's the matter with you?!" Sam is holding is brother back while I bent down to see if he was ok, "Are you ok?" He stands up, "Yeah I'm fine, I'm gonna go wait downstairs." He kisses my head. While staring at Dean. I turned around, "What the hell?!" "I'm gonna leave you two to talk." "I get you're angry and pissed but you had no right doing that!" "I have every right!" "How do you figure!" "Cause that dick is screwing my wife!!" "Really?! First of all I'm not your wife any more, and second it's none of your business who I am or not screwing!" He looks up and exhales, "You're right. I gave up that right when I ruined everything, it's just seeing you with someone else..." "I'm sorry I didn't do it to hurt you, he wanted to come to..." "Stop you don't have to explain anything to me, you don't owe me a thing." "As soon as I know Bobby is fine I will leave." "You don't have too. It's good to see you, how you been?" "I've been good, worked and got my license to practice medicine again." "That's great! This guy he uh.." "Would I be with him if he wasn't?" "No I guess not, you know after everything no one deserves to be happy more than you." "Hey guys Bobby's awake!" We ran to his room, he smiles, "Glad to see you two worked it out." "Yeah." Dean said, he takes Sams hand and writes some numbers on it, "Idjits." All of a sudden he flatlined, "Bobby? Bobby!" "Get them out of here!" The staff was working like crazy to save him. Dean was holding me while I broke down. I couldn't believe he was really gone, I mean he was always there when anyone needed him. The boys walked me down to the lobby where Liam was, we were all pretty numb. Dean was holding my hand, "You ok?" Liam asked, I shook my head and he wrapped me in his arms, "I'm sorry for your loss." He said to Sam and Dean, Dean stuck out his hand, "Thanks, sorry for the punch." "I probably would have done the same thing." "Take care of her." He nodded, I hugged Sam and then Dean, "I'm sorry about Bobby. If you need anything call me." He whispers in my ear, "I need you." Then pulled away and they left.
The plane ride home I don't think I said more then 2 words to Liam, "We are about to land." I smiled at him. "I am sorry about your friend." "Thank you." "I am here if you need to talk." "That means a lot. I am sorry you had to put in that awkward situation." "Hey I pretty much forced you to bring me so I did it to myself, besides I'm glad I met him I mean now I have an idea of what he is like." "What do you mean?" "Before all you would say was your last relationship was it was complicated but now I get it." "Liam the person you saw was just a small part of who he is, sure he gets angry and lost his temper but I don't want you thinking he's this horrible person." "I don't know him like you do but what I saw I understand why it didn't work." "Listen..." "Shhh no more Dean talk ok." I nodded. When got to the hangar there was a limo waiting. "Did you call for a limo?" "No it must be from my dad." "Is it ok if I go back to my place?" "What ever you want but you probably shouldn't be alone." "I'll be ok, I have my dog." He drops me off and try's to kiss me but I turn my head. "I'll see you at work tomorrow." He grabs my hand, "Hey are you ok?" "Well no not really." "I know he was like a father to you and I'm so sorry he's gone but is there more going on inside your head right now?" I exhaled, "It's been a very trying and heartbreaking day, im not gonna lie and say it's just Bobby but it's also nothing you should worry about." "You sure?" I smiled a little. "I promise. Thank you for everything you did for me today, it means so much you were there for me in so many ways." "I will always be here. If you need anything no matter what time call me ok?" "I will thanks." I hugged him and he wrapped me up in his big arms and lifted me up, I felt safe in his arms. He kissed my forehead. I opened my door and my girl jumped on me, she's so big she knocked me over. I got up and went to my room. I knew lying to Liam was wrong but seeing Dean again flooded my mind with so many memories, all the great and all the heartbreaking ones. It wasn't worth having him worry about nothing. I've never told Liam about the baby because I just couldn't talk about it still. I can't believe Bobby was gone, it just doesn't seem real to me and what is with Dean not going after the guy who shot him? I tried to shut my mind off so I drew a bath and grabbed some wine.
"You alright man?" Dean didn't say anything, "Look I know losing Bobby sucks but you had to deal with more than just that yesterday.." "I don't want to talk about it." "Ok I just thought.." Dean changes the subject, "Don't think what I'm about to say is just an excuse but I think we need to go see her." "Who? Nikki?" "Yeah." "That's not a good idea!" "Let me explain before you shoot me down! When I saw Dick yesterday she was there and he said to me that she looked delicious and he might have to give her a try some day." Sams whipped his head to Dean, "What?! Are you serious!! Why didn't you say anything to her yesterday?!" "What was I suppose to say oh yeah the dick bag who shot Bobby is also a monster who eats people!" "Yeah ok, we need call her now! Dean she could already..." "Don't even say it Sammy!" Sam hurries over to his phone, "Well???" "She's not answering." "Let's go then!" "Dean we don't even know where she lives now!" "You found her number so how hard can it be to find out where she is? She said she was practicing medicine again so she has to be using her real name so you do the geeky computer stuff and I will drive." They jumped in the car and headed that way. "Hmm why did Sam call me already?" I start to call him back when I get a call about a car accident with multiple victims, "Sam sorry but you're gonna have to wait!" "I have a Dr. Nichole Montgomery m.d in Arizona?" "Arizona? I would have never..that's probably why she picked it, ok let's go!" I was sitting on the bench in the doctors break room when Liam came in, "Hey, I haven't seen you all day, how you doing?" "I just lost 2." "Oh babe I'm sorry, I should have just given you the day off I mean after all you've had a pretty tough couple days." I put my head on his shoulder, "I need to be here, this is where I'm focused and calm." "You wanna come over tonight I'll make you dinner?" "That's sweet, let me think about it and I'll let ya know." Just then his pager went off, "Never a dull moment." I smiled and he kissed me. I grabbed my purse and walked out to my car. I kept looking over my shoulder cause I felt like I was being watched or followed. I get home and start to go to my room to change when there is a knock at the door. I cautiously turn around, "Nic are you in there?" "Dean?" "Yeah open up." I open the door and before I could say anything the dog bee lines for him, I can't believe after 2 years she remembers him still. "Hey girl!! How's my pretty girl!!" Sam rolls his eyes, "What are you guys doing here?" "We gotta talk to you." I turn around "Oh no! The last time you said that to me..." "We know but this is important." "I'm done with all that shit! I left it all!!" I was pacing around, "Please just stop and listen." My phone started to ring, "Hey, yeah sorry I just wanted to get home, I don't think I'm gonna come over, can I call you back? Ok gimme a few minutes, yeah I'm fine babe." As I said that I could see hurt on Deans face, "No coming here isn't a very good idea, I'm just gonna take a shower and go to bed, tomorrow lunch will be great ok bye." I walked over and sat on my couch, "Ok what!" "When you asked me why I didn't call the cops on that dick in the car and I just ignored you and walked away." "Yeah." "Well that's because he is a monster like we've never seen before." "What?" "He is a leviathan." "Like the mythical creature?" They both look at each other, "You know what they are?" "Just from reading? So they are real?" "Yes and nasty son of a bitches too." "Ok so how does this involve me?" He takes a deep breath, "The one in the car is Dick Roman you could say he's head Dick." I rolled my eyes, "I bet you've been waiting all day to say that!" He laughs, Sam butts in, "Anyway so we think he might be coming for you." "Why?" "Because of what he said to Dean." I look at Dean, "He said you looked so good he could eat you pretty much." "Well I am pretty cute." I laugh they do nothing, "Ooo k." "Look Nic we aren't joking, these things eat people and then take their identities." "So how do I kill them?" "That's the thing, you can't." "How is that possible?" "All you can do is behead them and put their heads far away from their bodies and hope they don't become one again." "I just can't deal with this crap, I got my life back on track finally..." Dean sighs, "I know and I'm sorry I want you to be happy but I also want you alive." "Is there some way for me to tell if someone is one of these things?" "The only thing we found that can hurt them is cleaner with a chemical Borax." "That's great I can't go around splashing a chemical at people!" "We know, that's why we want you to come with us til we can..." I get up, "Sorry Dean but no way!" "This isn't a ploy to get you back..." "That's good cause it wouldn't work!" There is a knock at the door, "Who is it?" "It's Liam." Dean rolls his eyes, "Great!" I gave him a dirty look, "What's up?" "You didn't call me back so I got worried, could you open the door?" "Um yeah."
I opened the door and he came in, "I just wanted to..." He sees Dean and Sam, "I see you are feeling better, I'll just go." He starts to leave and I grab his hand, "Wait please." I lead him to my room. I look at Dean and he looks ready to pop a blood vessel. "It's not what you think." "What is it then?" "It's complicated." "I'm starting to realize it's all complicated." "What does that mean?" "I don't know what else I can do to make you happy." "Don't say that, I am happy." "Don't patronize me, I know you are still in love with him." "What? No!" "Come on i seen the way you looked at him, i just wish you would look at me half that way." Dean and Sam were listening, when he heard him say that he smirked smugly. "Please don't do that." "Do what? Tell you what you already know?" "Can we please just talk about this tomorrow." "Yeah sure, I'll call you tomorrow." I grabbed his hand and walked him to my front door, I walked him out to his car. "I'm sorry about this, I promise I will explain everything tomorrow." He nodded, I hug him and he lifts me up to kiss me. Sam and Dean were looking out the window, "I'm so gonna kick his ass!" Sam laughs. "You know Dean it's a good thing he didn't swing back yesterday." "What?! I would have... No you are right I think the guys arms are bigger than my head!" They both laughed and when they heard the door open they jumped on the couch. "Real mature guys." "So everything ok?" "Oh like you care." "I do." "Shut up Dean." "This conversation will never have an ending so let's just not deal with that right now." Sam was right. "So what do you want from me?" "Just want to keep you safe." "That's nice Sam but I can take care of myself." "Nic these things are like nothing you've ever faced they are dangerous and careless and evil, so please until we can figure something out." "Well I'm not running so if you guys insist then get comfy cause you're staying here." "Wait a minute we can't stay here, we need to be on the road!" "You can't have it both ways!" "That sounds all too familiar!" "Yeah and if you would have listened last time...you know what forget it, you guys please leave if they get me they get me I'm tired of running!" I grabbed my keys and stormed out the door. "Dean let her go, maybe coming here was a bad idea, it's brining up to many painful memories." "I know Sam it is for me too but we need to keep her safe!" "Dean you aren't gonna like this but I think it's time you two actually talk and get everything you need to say out." "No Sam, she said enough that day, I know how she feels."
I needed to get a drink so I went to a pub and had some shots after a few hours i decided to go back. I walk in my door and they are sitting on my couch watching tv, "Still here?" "I told you we are gonna keep you safe!" I rolled my eyes, "I'm gonna go take a shower unless you think I am gonna get attacked." I turned around and walked to my room. "So what now? We can't just sit here just in case they happen to come for her, we need to be looking for Dick." "Maybe you should go Sam." "And what leave you here?" Dean looks at him, "Maybe you should go Dean, I mean it wouldn't be awkward if I was here." "I'll go talk to her." He knocks on my door, "What!" "We need to talk." I didn't say anything, "Please." I exhale "Yeah." He comes in, I had just gotten out of the shower so my hair was wet and i was wrapped in a towel, "Sam and I uh..." He just stared at me, "You and Sam what?" "Yeah uh we were thinking just one of us would stay." "Ok." "Ok? Really?" "Yes. Dean I'm tired, I'm tired of fighting of running of hiding of it all I just want it to be over." "I'm sorry again for dragging you into this." I get very angry, "Gah!!! Will you stop saying you're sorry for dragging me into this!! I left willing with you, I gave it all up for you for love!!!! So you didn't make me do anything!! If you wanna be sorry for something be sorry for not doing the same for me!!!" He took a step back, "I am sorry for that, I am sorry for all of that, I'm sorry for you losing our baby, I'm sorry for not putting you first I am sorry for all of it." I walk over to him and slap him, "You son of a bitch!" I start to hit him, "You think it's just that easy?! Oh sorry for you losing our baby! Really?!!!! You have no idea what I felt!!" He grabs my wrists, "You can tell me a lot of shit Nic but don't you dare tell me I don't know how it felt to lose that baby!" I start to break down and sob, "I miss him!!! I miss him everyday!! I just wanted to be a family!!" He holds me, "I miss him too. I will hate myself until the day I die because of what I did." I look up at him and saw so much pain in his eyes. I spent all this time being angry at him to stop and realize he was in pain too. "I'm sorry, I know you lost him too I shouldn't have said that." "You don't ever apologize to me!" I stepped back, "I need to put some clothes on." He nodded and left my room. "I am glad that just happened." "I guess it had too Sam, I just wish I could go back..." "Don't do that to yourself, if you start that you'll never be ok."
I came out of the bedroom with my t-shirt and boxer shorts, "So which one of you are gonna stay?" "We thought we would leave that up to you." "I think it would be best for everyone if Sam stayed." I could tell that broke Deans heart but it wasn't his heart I was worried about. He agreed, "I want you to stay tonight though, I mean it is late." I walked over to my fridge and grabbed them each a beer, we all sat around talking, some how the conversation turned to our exes, "Sammy you remember that chick named Tiffany?" "Um oh god she was crazy!!!" They both laughed, "Sam did you ever tell Dean about Laura?" Sam looked at me, "Don't you dare!!!!" "Who's Laura?" I tried to speak but Sam put his hand over my mouth, "Oh come on Sam it can't be any worse then that tool Brady she dated!" I looked at him, "How do you know about Brady?" "Oh yeah you don't know." Sam said, I got worried, "Know what?" "Brady was a demon." "Ah uh no way!" "No it's true, he wasn't the whole time you guys were together but when he got back to school from that vaction.." "Holy shit that explains so much!!!!" "I can't believe you dated that guy!!" "Hey shut up I've met some of your past conquest and you weren't so picky either!!" "Oh yeah like who???" "Who not!!" "Ooooooohhh I see how it is!!" It was nice laughing with them it felt like old times. "Wow it's 3:45 in the morning, I'm gonna go to bed." "Night." "Hey Dean." "Yeah." "Don't leave without saying goodbye." "I won't." I went to bed and just kind of laid there for awhile. I was wondering if I should go back to that life. I mean not with Dean but being a hunter. I got up around 10 which was unusual for me, the guys were actually still sleeping too. I tip toed to my kitchen to start some coffee. "Hey." "Hey sorry for waking you." "No that's ok, what time is it?" "It's about 10:15." "Oh jeez." Sam started to stir, "Mornin Sam." "Morning." They got up and poured themselves some coffee, they sat down at the table. My phone started to ring, "Hello, yeah I did, how about you? What time? Yeah that should work, ok bye hon." Dean gritted his teeth. "So Sam I have to meet Liam for lunch around noon but feel free to make this place like your own." "Thanks." I went to change into some white shorts and a blue off the shoulder shirt, I put my hair up and wore my white Chucks. "Dean take care of yourself out there." "You too." I hugged him and walked out the door. "Dean this is ridiculous! I can't just sit here for god knows how long waiting for something to happen!" "Please Sam, I've screwed up so many times when it comes to her I don't want to screw this up too." "Yeah ok but call me if you get anything." "Yep, hey Sam, do you think this Liam guy could be a leviathan?" "I think you want him to be." "Shut up I do not! I want her to be happy and if Hulk junior makes her happy then it is what it is." I walked into the cafe and Liam was sitting at the far table, he stood up and I came over, "Hi." He kissed my head, "Hi." He waited til I sat down and then he sat, "What can I get you?" "I'll just have an ice tea." "Ok I will bring that right over." "You're not hungry?" "Not really." "So how was your night?" "Um well I didn't sleep much." "Do I wanna hear this?" "It's not because of what you're thinking." He just looked at me, "I know you probably have a lot of questions, and I'm gonna try my best to answer them." "I do, but the only question I need the answer to is, are you still in love with Dean?" I took a deep breath and sat there for a minute, "That's not just a yes or no." "No it is." "I guess a part of me always will be." He starts to get up, "Please sit." "Why? You just told me you're still in love with your ex." "No I said a part of me always will." "What the hell does that mean?!" I was a little taken aback by that, he's never even gotten a little upset at me before, "It means my heart is not 100% open and it probably never will be but it's also ready for love and happiness again." He sits back down, and I take his hands, "I've told you from the beginning I was a mess, that id been through hell and back and it's gonna take time for me to open up again. Do you remember what you said to me?" We both said in unison, "We all have issues, and I'm a patient person." "Do you still feel that way?" "Yeah, it kind of kicked me in the gut when I saw the way you looked at him." "I'm sorry, we just have a lot of history." He gets up and comes to sit by me, "So does tht mean they are gone and we can go back to our lives?" "Not exactly." He cocks his head, "They think I'm in danger so Sams...." "Wait what?" "They are undercover FBI and they think a threat is coming for me, so Sams gonna stay at my house For a little while." "What kind of threat?" "I can't say exactly." "Can't you just come move in with me?" I touched his cheek, "Thats sweet but Sams the one who knows what this is and how to protect me from it." "You keep saying this and something like it's not a person?" "What, of course it is, I was just saying that because I don't know who exactly." "I don't like this." "Well you're not gonna like this either, I need some time off." "How much?" "I'm not sure." He rubs my cheek, "I will put a leave of absence in for you." I kissed him, "You are wonderful." "You want to come over tonight?" "Yes, around 7 ok?" "Absolutely."
When I got home I expected Dean to be gone but he was still there, "Haven't left yet? Where's Sam?" "He went to the store, I wanted to talk about last night." "There's nothing to talk about." I started for the bedroom but he grabbed my arm, "Huh." "What?" "I can smell his cologne on you." "That's weird and yeah you know I was meeting him for lunch." "Yeah but I didn't....never mind, I wanted to say I'm glad we got some shit out last night." "Me too but Dean it doesn't change anything." "That's where you're wrong, it changed everything." I just looked at him, "Before last night I was a complete basket case in my head, I still have guilt about the baby but now at least I know you don't hate me any more." "Who says!" He looks stoic but i start to laugh, "Good one." He rolls his eyes, "Oh come on I figured after last night we could joke again." "Yeah I guess so." "Dean I'm sorry for the things I said in the hospital I am but I can't help what my heart was feeling." "Didn't I tell you never apologize to me." I smiled, "So this guy is he uh..." "Don't you even ask that!" "What? I was just wondering!" "He's hung like a horse is that what you wanted to know?!!!" "Um wow no!!!! Why would you even..." "Hey you started this with the inappropriate talk!" "I'm scarred for life I hope you know that!!" "Yeah well welcome to the club!" Things turned somber quickly, "Sorry I didn't..." "Yeah I know." "You wanna know something that will probably lighten your mood." "Please." "Truth is I haven't slept with him yet." Deans eyes light up, "Oh well uh that's none of my business really." He tried to hide his smile, "Yeah I bet!" I go to punch him in the arm, "You're so dumb!!" He grabs me and kisses me, for a second I give in and kiss back, it has been so long since I felt those knee buckling lips. I pulled back and push him away, "I'm so sorry Nic I..." "I can't do this!" "I know..." "I am glad we are friends again Dean but I can't go back to that place with you." "I know..." Sam comes in, "Hey, what uh..." We didn't say anything, "So I bought some cleaner with borax in it." "Ok?" They both look at each other, "Why?" "We gotta cover all the bases." "Spit it out Sam!!!" "We want you to test Liam." "You guys have lost your minds!!!!" "Look I know you already put him through the usual tests but this isn't usual type stuff." I didn't want to agree but I knew they were right, "Fine, I'm going to his house later." "What? No!" "Um yeah!" "Dean we can't stop her from living her life." He didn't say anything, "Sam you can drop me off and wait for me for a little bit til I test him, then you leave. Deal?" "Yeah deal." I went to my room. "Sam this is a bad idea!" "Dean you have to deal with it, I know you are hurt over this but we've already put her through enough, let her live her life." "Sam this is not me being a jealous dick, I just have a bad feeling." "I'm gonna be there." "Let's say she drops a little drop on his skin and it hurts him, she's not gonna know what to do and if you're outside you won't get to her on time." "So what do you want me to do?" "Convince her to let you come in just for a minute." "What excuse are we gonna use?" "Just say you wanted to come in and apologize again for your jerk brother." "That might actually work." "Nic can you come out for a minute we wanna talk." "Gimme one minute." I came out in a skin right red strapless mini dress, my hair was down and I had make-up on, "What is it now?" They said nothing, "What? Why are u staring at me?" "Uh wow you look..." "Thanks Sam I'll take that silence as a good thing. So what do you need?" Dean couldn't talk he just kept staring at me. "We think it would be best if I went in just long enough to give him the test." "Why?" "What if he is, the minute that stuff hits his skin he's going to lose it and attack you." "I can fight or did you forget?!" "No I know but...Dean a little help here!" "Oh what...yeah what Sam said." He shakes his head, "I know you can fight but these things are lethal and dangerous, I'm gonna go in and say I'm there to apologize for Dean punching him and when I shake his hand I will put a drop on his hand." "How are you gonna do it without him knowing?" "I don't know maybe I'll just put some on my hand, the stuff doesn't hurt me." I thought about it and agreed, "You gotta leave right after though." "Yeah ok." "Dean it was nice to see you, take care please." "Yeah." Sam gave Dean a look.
"Ok so please don't act all over protective." "You have my word." We pull up to Liam's house, "Nice house." I knock on the door and he opens it, "Hey babe!" "Hi um Sam is it?" "Yeah he just wanted to come and apologize." "For what?" We go in, "For my idiotic brother." "Oh? That's not really your responsibility." "I know but i figured it would be the right thing." Sam puts his hand out and Liam shakes it, it was like waiting for a pin to drop. They shook hands and nothing happen. I let out a deep breath, "You ok?" "Yeah I'm great." "Well I'm gonna leave you two love birds to it then." I winked at Sam. "I didnt want to say anything while Sam was here but you look amazing!" He wraps his arms around my waist from behind. "Thank you, you look pretty good yourself." "I made you dinner." "Aww that was so sweet of you." We sat down at the table and had our dinner, "I thought we could drink some wine and watch a movie?" "I would love that." We went into the living room and he put a movie on. "Are you staying the night?" "I can't." "Do you have a curfew?" "Stop. I just better get back." "Sorry I feel like we haven't seen each other." "I know I'm sorry." "I know a way you can make it up to me.." "I bet you do." He pulls me close and we start to kiss, he starts to pull down my dress, but I stop him and pull away. "Sorry I just can't." "I'm getting real tired of your teasing!" "What did you say?" "I said your prude teasing ass is getting on my nerves!" "Whoa ok? I'm outta here!" I start to get up and he grabs my arm, "I don't think so!!! I think it's time I had a taste of you!!!" All of a sudden his face morphed into this huge thing with teeth, "How? I mean.." "See us leviathan are smarter than you humans, I know how those Winchesters think so I took precautions." "What the hell does that mean?" He pulls an arm out of his shirt, "I knew they would test me so I just took your boyfriends arm after I ate the rest of him that is." He gets really close to my face, "You smell incredible! I bet you taste even better!" "Why me? I don't even talk to Sam and Dean any more?? And why Liam he did nothing wrong??!" "I needed a cover and as far as you go, anyway we can hurt the Winchesters we take it!" "Ugh I can't listen to you talk any more will you just eat me already." "You think I won't? You think I'm some low life demon scum well you are sadly mistaken!" He grabs my arms I try to get loose but he is crazy strong, he opens his wide mouth, "Mabye I should have kept my big mouth shut." I close my eyes and scream the next thing I know I see his head slowly separate from it's body, as it falls I see Dean standing there with a machete in his hand, "Dean!!!" I ran to him and he hugged me, "It's ok, I told you I will always protect you." "But how did you know?" "Something inside told me you were in danger." I just held onto him as tightly as I could. "Lets go." I nodded and looked down at the floor to this head that looked like Liam but I knew it wasn't. We got in the Impala something I thought I would never do again, "You ok?" "No not really." "I am sorry about your boyfriend, he didn't deserve to have that happen to him." "It's my fault." He grabs my hand, "Don't do that." "It's true, I'm never gonna be away and free from monsters. So I am just gonna have to be alone for the rest of my life." He looked over at me, "You don't have to be." "I can't Dean." "I just want you to know that I'm always gonna be here." "Thanks."
"Dean what are you doing here?" Sam saw the blood all over me, "You ok? What happen?" "He fooled us and was about to eat me but Dean chopped his head off and saved me, now if you don't mind I'm gonna go take a shower and get my boyfriends blood off me." "Dean what the hell?" "I don't know man, I was headed down the road when I got this pain in the pit of my gut, I knew she was in trouble." "Wow ok, but how did he pass the test?" "She didn't tell me. She didn't say much." I stood in the shower watching all the reddish water go down the drain. I know I should be more upset that Liam is gone. He was such an amazing guy but still I could never give myself to him fully. I couldn't stop thinking about Dean, he saved me tonight. He always saves me. He always breaks my heart too. I gotta stop this, I can't let myself fall back into that, into him again. I turned the water off and stepped out onto my cold floor, I wrapped the towel around me and stood looking in the mirror, "This life is over again, on the run here I come." I exhaled and walked into my bedroom, I put my robe on and went into the living room, "So how long?" "Uh how long what?" "You said these things can't be killed so how long before his head is back on his body?" Sam hits Dean, "You didn't take the head." Dean hits Sam back, "No it wasn't exactly a lets think about things situation!!" "Should we go back?" All of a sudden there's a banging on the door, "Nikki are you in there it's me Liam!" I looked over at Dean, "That's not him Nic." "Please let me in some guy showed up at my house and attacked me!" "Dean? Could that thing have taken his look without killing him?!" "Maybe but..." I walked over to the door, he pulls my arm, "Don't open that door!" "Why aren't you letting me in? Please I just got back from the hospital they bandaged what was left of my arm." "Dean that monster said he took Liam's arm.." Dean puts his hand up on the door, "That is not him! He is trying to trick you!" "Sam? What do you think?" "I don't know I mean it is possible he just took his arm but they aren't known to leave the rest of people." I looked at Sam, it did make sense I mean why would they let him live if they were gonna walk around as him, "Liam I can't, I just got out of the shower and I'm not dressed." I shrugged my shoulders, "That's ok seeing that will make me feel better." Dean gritted his teeth, "Can I call you tomorrow?" "Yeah sure." Dean walks away and I stayed against the door, the next thing I know the door goes flying and so do I. I'm thrown against the wall and knocked out, when I come too the boys are in a heavy fight with this thing, Sams been knocked down and Dean was thrown, I crawl my way to the kitchen sink where I keep my cleaner, good thing he is distracted by choking Dean. I grab my floor cleaner which has borax in it, I stand up and throw it on the monster, he screams and like starts to melt, "I thought we had something special?" He comes towards me, but Dean once again cuts it's head off. My dog was going nuts outside, "Now this time will you take the head!!!" Dean just looks at Sam.
"We have to go." Dean said, I exhaled and knew he was right, "You get the dog and I will go get my bags, I will meet you in the car." I had my bags packed and shoved in the back of my closet, I knew deep down I might have to leave quickly one day again. Sam put the head in an old duffel I had and put it in the trunk. I shut my door and got in the car. I didn't say anything just sat there petting my dog, we drove for hours. We stop at a cheap motel, "Home sweet home I guess." I said with a deep sigh, "I'm sorry Nic." "Dean please stop saying you're sorry, I don't want to hear it any more. I know you are, I know this is my life now and forever so please enough with the apologies." Sam came back with 2 room keys, "I wasn't sure if you wanted to...." "Thanks Sam it's best I be alone for a while." I took the key and me and Aurora went to our room. "What's next Dean?" "I don't know Sammy."