I lay with my back against the grass outside, looking up at the weird sky. The book I had picked out yesterday actually turned out to be good, and I spent the whole night reading until the lights from outside began to light up my room. So it's safe to say that I didn't get the sleep I was supposed to get last night. I even finished the book quicker than I had thought I could. So now I'm just lying here, with nothing to do. I think this is the first time I truly feel bored being here. There's still lots of places for me to discover inside the castle, but somehow I don't think I want to see the rest of it. Part of me is scared of what I might find in there, so maybe that's what's holding me back.
A deep sigh leaves my lips, as I try to come up with some kind of idea of what I can do. I don't want to bother Lucifer now, I think it's too early for me to come back after what happened. But I also want to run right up to him, and jump straight into his arms. But that would be weird, wouldn't it? Yes it would be weird for me to do that, yesterday was most likely a one time thing. But I want to make it a thing. I want him to get used to the idea of me popping in every now and then, and then I want him closer to me. Not five feet away from me, as he usually likes.
Maybe I only want to be close to him, because of the fact that he doesn't like being close to others. And maybe it's just because of yesterday's events. I want to make him comfortable with me, and get him to open up more. I like the way he responds to my questions, not like Hades who doesn't give a straight answer or responds to my questions with a question of his own.
And what were those words he had spoken to me, the other day? It wasn't a language I speak, so I have to ask Hades when he comes back. And then I need to tell him that what happened between us can never happen again. It was wrong.. And yet it still felt good. Why is it that doing stuff you know is wrong, feels good? Although I doubt I will get married to a man now after everything. So maybe it's alright? But is it really alright if I think about another man, wanting not only one but both as I share an intimate moment with one..
I shake my head trying to get rid of those thoughts. I turn my head to the side, and then I see a man walk up to me. ''So this is where you're hiding huh'' I squint my eyes to see Hades smiling at me.
''I wouldn't exactly call this hiding'' I turn my head to look up at the sky again.
I can feel him sitting down beside me, and shortly after he begins to play with my long hair. ''You look tired, little one'' He comments after taking a good look at my face.
''I didn't get much sleep''
''Why? Were you thinking too much about me?'' He jokes, making my cheeks blush.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. ''No, I was up all night reading''
''Lucifer gave you another book?'' His voice gets colder, and he lets go of my hair.
Why is that when just the mention of me reading gets him to act like this? Sure I borrow books from Lucifer, and it's only once he actually made a suggestion for a book. The other times I just took one, and told him I would be back once I was done with it. I use my arms to push myself up so I'm sitting beside him, and then I narrow my eyes at him.
''Don't tell me you're jealous''
''I'm not..'' He mumbles, picking at the grass.
''You totally are!'' I laugh at him.
Hades turns his head to face me. ''And so what if I were?''
My heart skips a beat as I think.. What if he truly is jealous? He grabs a hold of my chin, and then he leans in closer, making me hold my breath. ''What did the words you spoke to me the other day mean?'' I ask, trying to change the subject.
''Don't worry, I'm sure you'll figure it out some day'' He chuckles.
''Why won't you answer my questions properly'' I feel myself getting slightly annoyed with him.
He leans closer to the skin just below my jaw. ''I do answer them.. If I remember correctly I asked you, if you believed me, if I told you I was a god'' He bites down on my skin.
''And I don't..'' I feel like I'm swallowing a big lump, as he bites a little harder.
''And why is that?'' His teeth let go of my skin, and then he looks at me. Waiting for an answer.
I frown a bit at him. ''Why would I?''
''I guess that's fair'' He shrugs his shoulders, then he moves his hand up so it's between us and then a blue flame appears on his palm.
My eyes widen at the sight, and I quickly reach out to grab his hand. The flame disappears, and I turn his hand with my own, to look if he's gotten burnt. But his hand appears to be fine, no burn marks can be seen on his skin. Not even a little one.
''Do you believe me now?'' He asks me.
''No, for all I know you could be some demonic thing like Sebastian'' I see him rolling his eyes at my words.
''But I'm not, and deep down you know it''
He leans down again, and once more I feel his lips on my neck. I feel him lick my skin, and that's when I push him away from me. ''No, Hades stop. We are having a conversation here, you can't just do stuff like that anymore''
I try looking at him with a serious expression, but he just laughs at me. ''I'm not doing anything'' He tries to look innocent.
''We are friends''
''And i'm just expressing how glad I am to be your friend''
''But friends doesn't do that Hades''
''Oh, but I do''
''Do you do that with all your friends?''
''No.. But for you I make an exception''
I throw my arms up in defeat. ''What is that you want?'' I ask him, not feeling like discussing this further with him.
His lips pull up into that wicked grin of his, and his eyes light up at my words. ''I'm so glad you asked me that little one'' He grabs the front of my dress and pulls me closer. ''I want to touch you'' I look confused at him for a minute or two, before my eyes widen.
I wanted him to touch me in my hazy daze the other day. But no. No way. ''And I want to taste you'' He whispers into my ear, before sucking on my earlobe.
I close my eyes as I feel his mouth on me. He leaves a trace of kisses down my neck, to my collarbone, and then he continues down until he reaches the top of my dress. He pushes me down against the grass, and then I feel his hand beginning to slowly raise my dress.
''I... Hades.. N-No'' I let out a shaky breath as I open my eyes again. I almost jump away from him so this can't go any further. ''You, I. We.. We can't do this, this is wrong. Oh my god, no'' I begin to walk away from him.
I can hear him laugh from behind me. ''I'll see you soon little one''
I look behind me to see a blue cloud of smoke, signaling that he's actually gone now. I pull at my hair in frustration. I'm tired, and I feel frustrated. I want his hands on me.. No, no I don't. Am I really attracted to Hades? I think I am. Even my body reacts to his touch, and it's like I want more.
I groan, and I almost let myself scream at my stupidness. If I just didn't let him come that close to me in the first place, this would've never happened. What the hell is happening to me? This isn't how I am. I don't do this.
My hands pull the doors to the library open with more force than needed, making Lucifer look weirdly at me. ''I need a new book'' I mumble, placing the book I just read on a table. I look through the bookshelves to find something, anything really, even a boring book. Just so I can take my mind off the things I want to do, and want to think about right now.
I pick a random book, and then I plop myself down on one of the couches. He doesn't say anything, but I can feel him staring at me. I don't blame him for that, I did just barge in here almost demanding a new book. I pull my knees up to my chest, and hide my face in my dress, letting out a couple of deep breaths. This is horrible. The way my body yearns for just a little touch, how does he do this? I bet this is a little game to him.
Looking up I catch a glimpse of Lucifer looking at me, but as soon as my eyes meet his. He turns his head the other way, and walks away. ''I'm sorry for coming in here like that..'' He stops walking. ''It was a good book, by the way'' I mumble before hiding my face in my dress again.
''I know, I wrote it myself''