So I'm still not sure how to organize all the things I have written about their life together, so for now it's a bit "thematic" I guess, as I'd have if it had been some imagines. Let me know if it feels weird.
Photo by Kevin Schmid on Unsplash
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"It's going to be awkward.
-We had dozens of dinners at Maria and Tommy's, it always went well.
-It's the first time we're going as a couple, well, as an official one.
-It's going to be fine. And then, she's there to lighten the mood."
With a nod of his chin, he gestures to Ellie, who trots lightly in front of them, her headphones tucked into her ears. Chloe remains worried. Although neither of their hosts have come to talk to them about their relationship since they've made it official, she can't help but dread the evening. The arguments they made the first time still stand. There's still the age difference, he still has taken care of her when she was at her worst. What would stop them from bringing it up again?
Joel can feel her being nervous by his side. As Ellie rings the doorbell, he leans in to gently kiss his lover's temple. This is the first contact they have had since leaving their house a few minutes ago. Although they no longer hide, they remain discreet, uncomfortable with showing affection in public.
Maria greets them with a warm smile, ushering them in with enthusiasm. Tommy serves them a drink while his wife sets the food on the table. Slowly, Chloe relaxes. It feels like they're back months ago, before all the drama. At the other end of the table, Eugene winks at her. Of course. It was he, the peacemaker, who must have finally allayed all Maria and Tommy's fears. She gives him a grateful smile before diving back into the conversation.
As they all settle down to watch a movie, Joel sits next to her. She tenses as she feels his arm come around her shoulders. But when she realizes that no one cares, she relaxes and moves a little closer, settling into the crook of his arm. The rest of the evening passes quietly. As she says goodbye to Maria, the latter hugs her warmly. That's all it took for her to be completely reassured. She always looked up to the leader, the idea of being in bad terms with her made Chloe uncomfortable more than anything else. Now she knows they're good.
Back home, they stand in the kitchen discussing the film over a tea.
"That was stupid of him to do that.
-Yeah, but you know, men do stupid things to impress women.
-What's the stupidest you've ever done?
-Broke my arm.
-What?!
-Ahem, she had her eyes for one of the popular guys, coming to school with his motorcycle everyday and all. So I borrowed my friend's. Tried to do some figures with it and well... She saw me breaking my arm."
He looks at her, she has a hand over her mouth, preventing herself from laughing at the image. So ridiculous.
"And in the end, did it work?
-Well, I got her pregnant, so I guess it did."
----
Weeks go by and life is sweet. Her nightmares are less strong, less regular. A comfortable routine settled between them, full of love and laughter, often mocking but never mean. People have lost interest in their story, now that it's official, less scandalous, gossip is not so much interesting.
The only downside is Ellie's attitude, she's more and more distant. This pains Joel and makes Chloe worried. Is it her fault? Does the teenager feel left out now that she shares her life with him? One day when the young girl comes to look for a book in the living room, the adult decides to clear the air
"I've never asked you, but are you ok with me living with Joel?
-Why are you asking?
-Well, you're distant these days. I know he takes a lot of time for me, but I don't want you to feel wronged. You know he really cares about you no matter what, my presence in his life doesn't change that. And if you want to spend more time alone with him, I will understand, just tell me.
-No, it's ok. I'm fine with you two. He's well with you. I'm glad you're finally together.
-Then what is it?
-Nothing, everything is fine.
-Come on Ellie. I've known you for a year now. You seem off."
The young girl doesn't answer, browsing the books in the bookshelf. Chloe doesn't move, not knowing what to add. Ellie breaks the silence.
"What did Joel told you about us before we move to Jackson?
-He just told me that he accompanied you to Salt Lake City, because he promised to someone in Boston to do so, but that arrived there, you haven't found what you were looking for, so you two decided to come and settle here.
-That's all?
-That's all. Why? Is there anything else to know?
-No... Nothing important, really."
Chloe frowns, but Joel entering the room prevents her from questioning the girl. Ellie barely greets the man. Tense silence fills the space. To try to divert it, Chloe decides to talk about her new idea.
"I'd like to organize a dinner party at home, so that we have family and friends together. I've been wanting to do that for a while. What do you think?
-Can I invite someone?
-Of course, ten people even if you want. The more the merrier, right Joel?
-The more the dishes to wash."
She rolls her eyes and brushes off his remark before looking at Ellie with a smile. The girl relaxes a bit.
"It'll just be Jesse and Cat.
-Not Dina?
-I'm not sure she'll accept, she has a lot of things to do these days.
-Ask her anyway and we'll see. We won't be close to one person.
-She's going to cook for twenty people anyway, and we'll have leftovers for two weeks.
-Keep complaining, you won't have anything to eat."
----
It's been a nice evening. Everyone had a good laugh, stories had been told, music listened to. She had received tons of compliments on her food, on her table setting. They all seem totally at ease with their relationship now, to her delight. Being able to gather people around her makes her happy. As with Talia, years ago. When the club was closed and all the girls got together, chatting and snacking on what the boss had managed to recover from the soldiers who frequented her establishment. Simple moments of happiness. A comfort never forgotten.
The house is empty now, the laughter has faded to give way to the sound of the dishes being put away. As she cleans a plate, he stops in his tidying to hug her from behind, kissing her shoulder softly.
"It was fun. Have you seen Ellie and Jesse? I believe there is something going on between these two. I'm good to detect that sort of things."
Chloe can't help but smile. How can he be so blind? All evening, it had been under his nose. Ellie's hands brushing Cat's, glances hidden but so full of meaning. Gestures that had been theirs months before. She bites her cheeks so as not to laugh or say something that might betray the teenager. It's up to her to tell Joel, and her alone. All she hopes is for Ellie to tell him, rather than he find out the way she has, not long before.
----
Singing softly, she walks down the porch to make her way to Ellie's studio. She and Cat are having a girl afternoon. Wanting to please them, Chloe baked some cookies. She knocks softly before opening the door. What she sees inside freezes her. The two young girls are on the bed, in a position that leaves little room for interpretation. She apologizes quickly before hurrying to close the door, embarrassed to have been so intrusive.
Later, when Cat has just left, Ellie appears in the kitchen.
"Is Joel here?
-No. He went searching some stuff for his wood carving, I didn't really understand what.
-Ok."
An embarrassed silence falls between the two women. Chloe concentrates on her recipe, not daring to look up at the teenager. But realizing that she won't dare to speak first, she takes the plunge.
"Does Joel know?
-No... I... I don't know how he would take it.
-Well, I'm pretty sure he won't mind. The guy really cares about you, you know?"
This time, she is looking at Ellie. But this one is focused on her twisting fingers, a sign of her concern. Chloe continues.
"Don't worry, I won't tell him. You wait until you're ready, there's no need to hurry if you don't feel like it. And I promise that from now on, I'll always wait until you open the door."
The teenager smiles at her and thanks her quietly.
"You can talk to me if you need to. I'm probably not the best counselor, I've had my fare share of shitty relationships. But well, if it can help you not to make the same mistakes that I did, I'll be glad.
-Thank you. You can talk to me too you know.
-About me and Joel? Are you sure you want to hear about that?
-No, I don't. Leave me out of it."
They both laugh softly, accomplices. Ellie reaches out for the dish Chloe is preparing. The older woman gives her a light blow on the hand with her wood spatula.
"You're a savage, can't you wait for dinner?"
----
"What do you think? I should talk to her right? Tell her I'm ok with her seeing Jesse. And then, we should have... The talk. She's 15 but in that world, God knows what she knows about that. Heck, I didn't know shit, otherwise Sarah would never have been born.
-Ok, stop there Joel. We don't even know if there's something between them, don't ruin everything. Don't go harass her, she'll tell you about it when she's ready. And please don't play the role of the father threatening his daughter's boyfriend. I know you're cut out for this, but it's ridiculous."
----
Ellie had agreed to come see a movie with them that night. She's been keeping herself away from them for almost a week, so they gave her the choice of film to try and please her. Much to Chloe's regret. On the TV, the violent images follow each other without interruption. In the middle of the movie, she gets up, whispering an excuse before going into the kitchen. She helps herself a glass of water but puts it down, leaning over the sink, gagging. Joel arrives, worried after she came out so quickly.
"Are you alright?
-Not really.
-Wait... Is that the movie?
-Have you seen it?
-Yeah, but I also saw you killing a half-rotted infected without flinching the other day.
-I was just saving my ass, and I didn't really look at it. This is just sick to watch this for pleasure. Isn't our life violent enough?"
He gently runs his hand across her back, the contact relieving her immediately. He can't help but say the bottom of his mind.
"You sure that's it? You're not sick? Or... You know? It's not really likewe're taking precautions.
-I told you, I can't get pregnant.
-I know, I know. But they told you so many lies, they could have-
-Considering the job I had, don't you think I'd have known if that was a lie?
-Right."
From the living room, they hear Ellie's voice ringing out.
"Guys you're missing the best part, he's about to pop his head off!"
A new retching takes the young woman. Joel can't help but have an amused look. Resuming normal breathing, she declares.
"I'm going to sit outside with a book and let you finish your wicked movie."
He laughs softly and kisses her temple before heading back to the living room. She goes out and sits on the rocking chair he made for her. The air is cool, but it allows her to come to her senses. As she opens her book, she can't resist, and put her hand on her stomach. She knows it's empty and will remain so. But she can't help wondering what it would be like to bear a child. His child.