Amanda woke up at 6:30 AM. She took courage and got up at 6:41 AM.
- Ah, how laziness ...
While she was taking a shower she was thinking about what the day might bring her: the money, the inscription, talking, the materials, talking, Daniel, the pictures, talking, the map, money, the food, Daniel ...
She had thought of Daniel's name: "Daniel César Martín Brühl González", she recalled that, when she knew Daniel's full name, she immediately deduced that his mother should be the origin of his Spanish language; also that surely Daniel must have been born in Spain; and that, due to the certain accent with which he spoke Spanish, he surely had Catalan origins and that he must have ended up growing up in Germany; oh, and she also thought that having three names was a lot of custom.
He was a well-decipherable mystery.
As she left her, her sister reminded her that they should meet later to go buy her a mobile phone (finally).
The fact that in the very near future she would have to travel miles and miles of distance, round trip, for all the existing business days in a period of four and a half years was undoubtedly enough reason and motive for her to carry a telephone mobile
Amanda did not tell her sister that she was going to Cottbus in the car of an almost, almost, stranger, and to tell the truth, she also did not give her many details about her situation with Daniel, the money, the camera, the debts and other details for the Which did not want sermons, discussions, or long "dialogue" talks.
Was that okay? ...
-.-.-------------------------------------------
Amanda arrived at the station at 7:30 sharp.
Locating Daniel's car took him a minute and a half.
She spotted Daniel leaning against his car with his arms folded and an angry face.
He was in a bad mood, he hadn't managed to eat more than an apple on his hasty departure to be on time. Daniel might have Spanish roots but he had deeply German features, and one of those features was precise punctuality.
It was already 7:32 and that was a definite offense.
Amanda ran to where Daniel was. When she arrived, Daniel greeted her saying:
- If you arrive this late to your classes you will not last long.
She just faked a condescending smile and said quickly:
- Sorry, good morning.
"Now is she nice?" Daniel thought as he proceeded to open the passenger seat door.
"Ah, no, I'll go back," she stopped him.
- Of course not. I have a lot of things to tell you.
- What.
- You better go ahead.
- Why.
- Why not?
"Because I don't trust him, being by his side puts me at high risk, it would be within his reach, what if he suddenly covers my face with a cloth with chloroform, or threatens me with a gun, he could be a kidnapper, a serial killer, a madman, or something ... And it hurts me, you will also not want to have to feel his presence so close, I don't want to talk to him either, I just want to get to Cottbus and I want him to pay me what he owes me, and I don't want to have to deal with him more, dddddd "
- Ah ... well, because I don't want to. And I don't think it's that necessary. - Amanda said, after thinking about the real and complicated reasons for her refusal.
"Scheisse" Daniel mused.
-------------------------------------------------
Halfway through, Daniel noticed a problem and, looking at him in the rear-view mirror, he communicated it to his indifferent passenger:
- This road is too congested, I would like to take a shortcut but I'm not sure ...
"... I have a map," Amanda interrupted.
- And then could you do me the honor of moving your presence here and sharing your great map, please?
Amanda didn't respond, she stared into Daniel's eyes in the rearview mirror.
The car was not moving yet because it was in the middle of the terrible traffic congestion.
- You know, - Daniel told her, - if I had wanted to do something to you I would have done it many days ago, and look at what reasons I had no lack. So now stop your nonsense and come here quickly, will you?
"Yeah, yeah ..." Amanda said with annoyance.
-----------------------------------------------
Daniel held the crumpled map in his hands and pointed a path with his snowy index finger as he said to Amanda, who was now next to him:
- If we take this route we can get there avoiding all this chaos.
- Why are you speaking to me in English?
Daniel looked up from her to her and watched her silently for a second until he said:
- I thought you spoke English.
- Forget it, go ahead.
Daniel sighed.
- As I was saying, what we will do is advance a little until we reach this point and from there we turn to follow this route that I told you and that is how we will arrive.
- And what if that route is also congested, others will also want to cut the road.
- It won't be as terrible as here. We'll see when we get to that point I told you.
- They are already moving forward!
Daniel grabbed the wheel and drove off. Then Amanda noticed something that she incredibly she hadn't noticed before. For the past few days she had been following Daniel everywhere. She knew so much about him that she came to believe that she might end up obsessing over him. She finally she accepted, sanely, that she really didn't know enough, she didn't really know Daniel.
And seeing him drive in that particular way, she confirmed that she really could overlook very important and interesting things.
- You are lefthanded.
- What, I didn't hear you well.
- You are left-handed.
Daniel shot her a fleeting, incredulous look.
- Yes I am. What, you didn't already know? .- He cocked her head to one side of her.
"No, and I don't know how I never realized it," Amanda replied with her gaze lost on the horizon.
- It's incredible, how is it possible. You've been after me all these days, and you never knew it. I do not believe you. At some point you must have seen that I was using my left hand ... Here's the point. It doesn't look bad, let's fold.
Amanda watched him with a bit of concern and some interest at the same time. The truth was, she had a terrible soft spot for left-handed guys. For some reason, all the guys she came to like, except for Andy Gregson, were left-handed. This is how she came to a tentative conclusion that a left-handed boy was a special or particular boy. So Daniel the creep was a special boy?
- And now why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong with you,- he questioned. Amanda didn't answer, she just stopped looking at him and stared at her straight ahead.- Hey, do you really think I'll hurt you or something?
- I do not know...
- You know, use your logic, if I had wanted to do something to you I would have done it before, and you are aware that reasons were not lacking.
"He had already said that," Amanda thought, looking at him again, "will he have a tendency to be repetitive or, will he be forgetfulness ..."
-You looks annoying,- Amanda finally told him.
"And wouldn't it have to?" Daniel thought.
- And you are very quiet.
Amanda didn't say anything. Daniel didn't look at her but he thought about whether to confess the thought of her or not.
He finally told her:
- You know, you're weird.
- I have personality problems.
Daniel did not expect that answer.
- Wow, how frank.
Amanda didn't answer and Daniel couldn't help but yawn from hunger and sleep. Eating and sleeping were two things that, more than essential, he liked so much that the lack of any of them ruined his day.
He had woken up a little late and, in his eagerness to get to the station on time, he only took an apple from the kitchen and a bottle of water, thus he drove the car that his sister lent him to the meeting point. He was feeling too nervous, and at some point along the way he worried about not looking good enough ...
Not that he wanted Amanda to like him, it was just a matter of male conceit. He glanced at himself in the rearview mirror and noticed a pimple on his forehead, rolled his eyes, and leaned his head against the steering wheel with an annoyed snort. It was all because of the stress of the past few days, and it was all Amanda's fault.
After an hour of travel, now, he had already forgotten the pimple on his forehead and if he looked good or fair, he just felt hungry, and he wanted to continue sleeping.
After a couple of minutes of silence, Daniel couldn't help but comment:
- So...you come from beautiful Spain ...
Amanda activated the alert signal, she did it every time someone "outside" wanted to inquire about her, they had been taught it at home: You did not have to tell your whole life to a stranger.
- Aha.- she said only, and immediately and quickly she thought: "I have to divert the conversation, I have to ask something so that he does not ask more about ..."
- And how did you decide to study in Germany?
"Ray!"
- Well ... it's something I wanted.
Daniel frowned at him and insisted:
- And why.
Now Amanda was frowning at her and thinking annoyed: "Can't keep his attention on the road and leave me alone? Ush."
- Because if. I felt like it, I saw the possibilities, I organized things, I planned, everything fell into place, and ... here we are ...
Amanda smiled briefly and sarcastically, on the part of her Daniel just raised his eyebrows and thought "So she always like this, she gets what she wants"
- Are you telling me that you always get what you want?
- No, I did not say that. I told you I plan. Okay? Do you understand that? Planning is the way to get things done. Now, that doesn't mean I get all my quirks ...
- I don't understand, it's not ...
- ... you know the saying "if you want, you can"?
-Yes.
- Is not true.
Daniel narrowed his eyes at her and watched her fleetingly.
Amanda explained:
- Wanting is power as long as it is within the framework of our possibilities.
- AHA.
- That's why planning is important. To analize the situation...
- I get it-. Said Daniel, and then added: "The bad thing about making plans is that nothing is perfect and things may not go as expected. At certain times, I suppose, you have to know how to improvise."
- For that the possibilities are analyzed ... It is called "prevention".
- Prevention?
- Pre-see.- She explained using her hands and expressive grimaces- You put yourself in the possible situations: the main path, and if it doesn't work out, you have to take another path, a plan B, and so on, if that path it does not come out, you have to see others and etc.
- And if in the end, there are none? Or if something happens that you didn't "foresee"? ... Hmm? -Daniel leaned a little towards her, and looked at her raising his eyebrows a lot and smiling. Amanda, all scared, looked at him with wide eyes and simultaneously reproached him:
- Hey, you're invading my space. Look ahead! Look ahead!
- Well!, nothing happens.-Daniel said annoyed.- Now, look where we are. Did you foresee that you would be here with me, now and under these circumstances, a week ago?
- No, and I don't want to think about that, what a fuss.
- And then where is your planning in this matter?
- Plans are tailored to the circumstances.
- I mean the exact moment of the change. What did you do when I fell on you and all that mess happened in the street, the hospital and etc? Those minutes ... in those few minutes your plans changed, and what did you have to do? ... Well, you improvised!
- I made a quick plan in my mind. It was some ...
- ... that's called improvisation.
- ...
- ...
- OK, OK, but I focus on long-term planning.
- In a few minutes, even seconds, the most important changes and events can occur ...
"What do I do. I tell him yeah, he's a fucking genius, or what. Ahh, shut up Daniel." Amanda thought, and she finally she just said:
- Hm, yes, it's true.
Daniel glanced at her briefly. What a disappointment, I expected more fight.
Already an hour to go to Cottbus University, Daniel came up with another question, he had many.
- And what will you study at Cottbus?
"Aaahhj ... I should have asked him something to make him stop focusing on me. What the fuck." Amanda thought again. Then it occurred to her to reply:
- What do you think I'll study?
Daniel, surprised by her response, looked at Amanda for a couple of seconds, smiled and then said:
- If you are a photographer, surely you will study something related to that. Maybe design, art, audiovisual art ...- he made a carefree face- something like that ...
Amanda burst out laughing. Daniel didn't say anything to him.
- Well, no. I will study Environmental Management.
- What. Environmental management? That sounds very interesting. I need to know why.
- And why do you need to know that?
- And what does it cost you to explain.
Amanda thought with annoyance:
"Me da h * eva"
- I am lazy to explain ...
Daniel began to feel very disappointed by Amanda's lack of dialogue, then she thought:
"Uff ... I'll make an effort, just because he's left-handed and to change that vomit face"
- In 1972, the Stockholm Summit was the first ONU conference that touched on environmental issues and established the effect of human activities on the environment as well as the need to establish environmental standards in each country. Because of this, those countries that previously did not have established environmental legislation to control activities and their environmental impacts, issued laws and decrees to regulate, evaluate, and mitigate or minimize the environmental impacts of any activity, work or project within their respective territories. In Europe there was already a history of environmental legislation but, after that conference, more solid and specialized regulations were established. Because of this, currently, and according to the law, no work or project activity can proceed without carrying out an environmental impact assessment study of the same to establish, if applicable, mitigation measures. So who do they need? To professionals how will I be. And then, how did environmental management come about? Well, with the concept of sustainable development. Environmental management solves the requirement of sustainable development, which is to achieve economic and social progress in balance with environmental maintenance, the use of resources, so as not to affect the needs and stability of future generations. So not only actions such as environmental impact assessment are required, but also environmental policies, land use planning, environmental education, conservation and strategies ... And I'll be there.
Amanda finished with a brief smile of pride and conceit. Daniel was silent processing everything he had heard, he knew it, he had knowledge of what Amanda had said, but he did not expect her to come to tell him with that attitude. Finally, Daniel only said:
- Interesting...
- It is the profession of the present and the future.
- And why do you want to study it?
- Because I want.
- And why in Germany and not in Spain.
- Because I wanted it that way.
- And why can't you speak German?
Amanda was hurt by that observation.
- Because ... I do know. I speak English very well, then I was learning, or trying to learn, German in a self-taught way but, but ... it's very rare ...
- You are rare.
- I'm not weird! I am only limited edition.
Daniel looked at her strangely, then asked her again:
-And how will you study at the University if you don't speak German? -And she answered to himself immediately- Ah, surely it is one of those international universities that teach completely in English, right?
- So is.
- If you know how to speak English, it is easy for you to learn German, it is not too difficult, it is a matter of practice. Practice the pronunciation. It is necessary that you know how to speak German if you will live here for the next few years, as you have already seen that all kinds of situations happen every day and if you do not know how to defend yourself with the language ... you will have complications.
- Yes, I suppose I should ...
- The career you will study is very interesting and very important. I think it's a great thing.
- I know.
- And what will you do with the photograph?
- To photograph.
- Did you work in Spain as a photographer?
- No, I just studied. I studied two years at a photography school. I have a degree, now I only do some workshops and courses, I will focus on landscaping and wildlife.
- Oh, that makes sense. And ... could you photograph a person? Something like a portrait?
- That's another specialty.
- But could you?
- Hmm, I can; but something as neat as a professional specialized in that area would not come out.
- Can you photograph me?
- Is that a question or a proposal?
- Both.
- Yes to the questioner, and yes to the proposal if you pay me for it.
- Ooooh! But, you just said that you wouldn't get to do such a neat job ...
- ... so what, do you expect me to do it for free?
- Maybe you could take it as a practice, a favor to your experience ...
- ... macanas. Why would I do it for free? I would not be doing you any favors, it would be a service that requires the respective remuneration.
- Then at least I expect a cheap price, since you are not a specialist on the subject.
- If you want good photos of you, why the hell do you want me, rookie, to take photos of you? And if you want something good go and find a professional in the area.
- That costs money, that's why I'm asking you.
- Why do you think I will charge you cheap for my lack of experience?
- So is.
- Well, maybe I won't charge you the amount that a professional with more experience and technique would charge you, but I won't charge you for free either. And I don't want you to be picky about the results, as he is aware of the situation.
- Well, we'll talk about that later.
Amanda, she no longer wanted Daniel to keep questioning her about her affairs, so she took the conversation by the horns so they would stop talking about her.
- And you, why did you decide to be an actor?
- Well, just because.- Daniel said with a sarcastic tone- I felt like it, I saw the possibilities, I organized things, I planned, everything fell into place, and ... here we are.
Amanda looked at him with narrowed eyes and with a grimace of disagreement, recognizing the imitation he made with the answer she had given him at the beginning.
- Haha very funny.
Daniel smiled briefly, still looking ahead as he drove. Finally, with a vague tone, Daniel replied:
- Well I do not know. It has something to do with the pleasure of getting attention or pretending something. Like playing dead when I was a kid, I really thought I was good at it because my mom yelled a lot and I kept doing it.
- That is reprehensible.
- But it was fun.
Amanda looked at him with a grimace of disgust.
- Then, well, it all started with the admiration I had for my father's work, he is a documentary director and works for German television, and then I won a reading contest when I was eight years old and that gave way to reading stories on the radio, then I went to dubbing, later I was in the theater of my school, at the same time I was in some television series, I was in an agency for children and around my fifteen years I made my first film, that's how I started Earning my first money and well, obviously that felt really good, you know, being able to buy something you want with your own money, making that money doing something that you enjoy ... I knew then that I wanted to dedicate myself to this.
Amanda was listening carefully, Daniel continued.
- I knew that this was what I really wanted to do, and I kept doing it and working ever since.
- So it's your calling ...
- I suppose so, as I told you, from the age of 15 I was already sure that this was what I wanted to do.
Amanda was thoughtful, she was thinking about her own situation.
- And you, - Daniel questioned him - is being a photographer your vocation?
- ... Yes ...
- And what of Environmental Management is to "live"?
- Yes ...
Daniel spoke after a few seconds of silence:
- Being an actor is not something simple, nothing is. I am looking for the great opportunity to show my talent, when I find it I will be able to obtain a reference that opens me to more opportunities and obtain more references, and thus build a successful or at least decent career.
- He's looking for a challenge.
- Ah?
- A challenge. Do you know when you will face his big opportunity? When you are presented with a role that you reject the first time out of insecurity or fear of not interpreting it properly.
Daniel glanced at her briefly and then thoughtfully. Amanda continued:
- Then, you must assume that role, face it, and show what your talent can achieve. This is how you will attract attention, and if you do it well, the doors will be opened, but if it goes wrong you must get up immediately or die.
Daniel was silent until he finally said:
- So deep...
After a minute of silence, Amanda asked him:
- And how many movies have you made so far?
- Hmm, not many, five or six ... nothing transcendental, actually, in most of them I was a secondary or tertiary character ... And well, in this movie ... it's the same, the difference is that I'm hating her, seriously.
- Why...
- For the idiot director, the inaccurate script, wrong half-castign, inefficient production, and above all: Your lunatic boyfriend.
- My boyfriend what?
- Andy Gregson.
- He's not my boyfriend anymore.
-And why does he act like he is?
- I do not know.
- When did you break up with him? Ricardo was showing off them whenever he could.
- So you haven't been talking to Ricardo for days.
"I guess one of those days you realized how out of the loop Gregson is."
- Why do you accuse him of being a lunatic?
- Why ... don't you see? His way of being is macabre.
Amanda laughed out loud, and Daniel frowned at her and said:
-He makes me psychological bullying every moment that he can, he is haughty, petulant, arrogant and cursed.
Amanda kept laughing. Daniel annoyed said:
- It's not funny, it's terrible ...
-He has the eccentric character of him, but he is not a lunatic and less a bastard.
- What.
-Surely he is in the skin of his character ... I don't remember the name ...
- Alec Davies.
- Oh yeah, that one.
- What...
- ... Andy is a method actor. He lives his characters, not only in the filming, but in his everyday life, until the filming ends and he gets rid of the character to continue being Andy Gregson.
- I was never attracted to that method.
- You have yours.
-Yes, but he's not as exaggerated as what you said.
- Anyway, Andy this method has worked from the theater and he does it very well. He does it well, doesn't he?
-His role? ...- Daniel was slow to respond, that is, to accept it- Yes, he acts well.
Another period of silence.
- And then why did they break up?
- I will not tell you.
- Why.
- Because it's personal!
- Well, look, I think that building over there is the beginning of your Campus. So go preparing your English and your money.
---------------------------
Amanda opened the car door once it stopped, then she grabbed her things and got out of the car. Before closing the door, Daniel leaned in to her direction and called her by her name.
- Amanda ...
She stopped and looked at him without saying anything, hoping that he would continue, Daniel did not take long to do so.
- ... how long will it take?
- Hm, I'm not sure, I guess not more than an hour.
Daniel was left with an expression of dissatisfaction, and finally said:
-Then I can come back in an hour? -And immediately he muttered- Oder ... vielleicht gehst du früher raus und stehst still ... und ... (Or ... maybe you go out earlier and stay standing ... and ...)
Amanda didn't understand the last babble and she made her face of impatience as she questioned Daniel:
- How do you say?
- You know nothing.
- ...
- I will wait for you here.
- Does he have to go somewhere?
- Ah ...
- If you have to go somewhere, just go.
- What? - Daniel didn't understand very well.
- Do not worry. I'll come here in exactly one hour, if you have to go somewhere you can go, and come back in an hour, and if I'm not here wait ...
Daniel felt that everything was getting very complicated and interrupted the explanation that Amanda was giving him and that he was not capturing very well because of his command of the language since he did not have the habit of speaking in Spanish for a long time and hasty.
- ... No, no, forget it, I'll wait for you here, that's better. Go.
"Well," Amanda said and then she left.
------------------------------------------------
Amanda was back in 47 minutes. From a distance she could see Daniel in a black T-shirt, since he had taken off his warm brown jacket, with his arms crossed and leaning on his car. He was surrounded by a group of three girls with whom she had struck up a nice and flirtatious conversation. Amanda lightened her pace, smiling as she saw Daniel putting his flirting skills into action. She did not want to interrupt such a situation and she took the opportunity to observe him.
It didn't take long for Daniel to deal with him and, smiling, he ended up writing his number on the folder of one of the enchanted girls. After they left, Amanda made the appearance smiling and with her hands clasped behind her back.
- What, did you finish your business?
- Ja.
- If that was a Yes in German, how terrible.
- Dss, let's go.
----------------------------------------------
Once inside the car, Daniel, after putting on his seat belt, stopped before starting and resignedly declared:
- Amanda ...
- What happens.
- I'm hungry.
Amanda looked at him indifferently and said:
- Aha, so that's why the mess at the beginning. And why didn't you eat something while you was waiting for me.
Daniel showed him the map of her, she had the expression of a child.
- The coffee shops are here.
- And...
- It's a bit far, I didn't want ... I didn't want to risk you leaving earlier and you'll be stuck ... Anyway, I thought it would be better to wait for you to come back.
Amanda looked at him funny.
- Do not look at me like that!
- So what, now what do you want?
- I don't want to take a lot of time from you, it will be quick, we will go to this place, I will eat something, then we take this route and return to Berlin.
- I have another option ?.
- Please...
- Anyway, well ... okay, start.
------------------------------------------------
When Daniel parked the car near a shopping center, he offered Amanda to accompany him because he did not like to sit alone in a cafeteria, but she refused since deep down she knew that consuming something in a cafeteria was not included in his daily budget because that was what she ate at home. Thus, Amanda waited for Daniel to return, surprisingly, he soon returned with a bag from the cafeteria in hand.
"What happened?" Amanda asked in an innocent and intrigued voice.
- I told you I don't like sitting alone in a cafeteria.
- And ... now what will you do, will you eat in the car?
Daniel stopped her movements and turned to see her, looked her up and down for a couple of seconds. Amanda blinked several times moving her eyes from side to side until she was staring at Daniel with raised eyebrows.
- Does your sister know that you came with me?- Daniel then asked with a deductive tone.
- Yes ... - Amanda answered with obviousness. And obviously it was a lie.
Daniel smiled and then said without hesitation:
- It is not true.
- What...
- You are the type of person who does not say all the things to avoid situations that are uncomfortable due to certain complexes, right?
- What, what, what,...what?
- You haven't told your sister. She must think you're on the train. And anyway, she must be working and she must not have knowledge of your adventures more than everything you tell her and she believes you because she trusts you.
-Wait a moment, how does you dare to draw deductions about me?
- Put him down, Amanda. Let's go back to Berlin.
- "Put him down, Amanda"?
- What,- claimed Daniel, who was already starting the car.
- I can't believe it ... You know ... you know, let's just go now!
Daniel began to laugh a guttural laugh, that was his laugh. Amanda felt chills but they weren't from fear.
"Look at the map," Daniel said suddenly as he drove.
Amanda took the crumpled map, unfolded it and looked, Daniel immediately told her:
- Do you locate the Kinderspielplatz?
"The Kinderspie-what ??" Amanda thought as she searched for something written on the map that sounded the same.
- It's a small park. It should be written as Kinderspielplatz Cottbus Süd.
Amanda kept looking, she hadn't realized that her face was 10 cm away. of the map.
- I think you need glasses. Let me see...
- ...I already found it!
- Well, we'll stop by, and what do you think ...
- What...
- I'll have my delicious coffee there.
- Good for you ... wait!
- Yes, it will be a moment.
- No !, I want to return quickly to Berlin, I did not come for a walk and less with you!
- I said I would have my coffee there, ME. If you want to stay in the car.
- No!
- No what!
-You are going to leave me here alone? This was not planned! We said to ...
- ... Improvise!
- What!
- Improvise. It's time for you to make "a quick plan in your mind" - Daniel laughed with a mixture of malice and derision.
- Hey!
- Take it easy!
- You calm down!
- I'm calm!
- Look ahead! Our lives are in your hands!
- I already know it! I'm looking straight ahead!
- I'm not going to your stupid park!
- I already told you you don't have to go!
- I'm not going to stay alone in the car!
- But you were alone when I went to the cafeteria!
- That was a secure parking lot ... Now where are you going to drop me off ?!
- At a parking meter ...
- On the street! What if someone shows up?
- Who the hell can show up?
- I do not know...
- If something happens, you defend yourself. You know how to defend yourself, do you remember?
- I always prefer to avoid it ...
- Everybody wants that. Look we're coming ...
Amanda covered her face with her hands and resigned herself.
---------------------------------------------
- Come on, let's go ... don't stay there, let's go!
Daniel encouraged Amanda to decide to join him. He was about to enter the playground, he stopped and turned around, walking backwards, he smiled, his smile was innocent, it conveyed tranquility and, perhaps, a certain peace. He waved his left hand for Amanda to follow him.
Amanda sighed in resignation and got out of the car. She walking she approached Daniel until she was by her side and they both continued on. When she saw him, she was not afraid. In a situation like that she knew she must feel some wake-up call, but no ... she didn't feel any of that. Strangely she felt that everything was fine, that there was nothing to fear, that, on the contrary, a repressed emotion was stirring inside her, something beautiful, something good ... as if she were exactly where she should be, doing exactly what he had to do.
They both entered the park, as green as it would not be seen again for a few months after the snow fell and it was lost when winter ended. They came to a couple of wooden swings and, next to it, they found a kind of bench where Daniel sat followed by Amanda.
Daniel offered her a juice, but Amanda refused, showing her own bottle of water, she never accepted anything to drink or eat from people she didn't know enough, then, with her hands tucked under her sleeves and placed on her knees, she said:
- I should have demanded a contract specifying that we should go and come back without stops like this ...
"Speaking of contracts ..." Daniel interrupted as he took out an envelope from the inner pocket of his jacket, which he had placed because some clouds covered the sun and the cold had begun to feel in the environment.
- What is that.
"Here," Daniel said offering him the paper that he took from the envelope, "it's the contract you asked for last night, about the debt I still owe you ... I did it last night when I got home."
Amanda took the paper and Daniel proceeded to drink his coffee and gulp down his waffles. Amanda wanted to read the document and observed:
- It's in German ...
Daniel swallowed her food and said:
- It is translated backwards ... on the other side of the page, there it is in Spanish.
Amanda flipped the page upside down and was able to read the content in Spanish.
- My mother helped me translate it, I'm not very good at writing in Spanish, I sent her an e-mail to review it and she forwarded it to me corrected.
-She corrected him a lot?
- The spelling ...
- Wow ...
- How about. Read it well while I eat.
-Her mother taught you Spanish since you were a child?
Daniel swallowed his food again and replied indifferently:
- I don't speak when I'm eating. Read it well.
And then he drank his coffee again.
Amanda looked at it, grabbed her water bottle, and drank some of its contents. Then she got up with the paper in her hand and went to the pair of swings, when she arrived she sat on one and, while she swayed slightly, she began to read the contract.
Daniel, concentrating on his food, just gazed at the distant horizon as he calmly but thoroughly chewed his food.
When he finished eating, Daniel took the disposable glass of juice and looked up at the swings, he saw Amanda still balancing on one of them with the paper that she had finished reading several minutes ago on her lap, held by her hands her. She was also looking at the distant horizon, the braid that she brought from her in her dark hair was beginning to loosen and a few strands of her hair were loose on both sides of her face giving more volume to the particular bangs of her on her forehead. A breeze made her way, and both the locks on Daniel's forehead and Amanda's, subtly ruffled towards the northwest where was the infinite horizon that they had both been looking at and where the breeze plowed through. The same direction, even beyond everything, so far that there would be no end, because endings do not exist, they are only new beginnings.
Daniel, juice in hand, got up and walked over to Amanda. When he arrived he stood in front of her, Amanda then turned her gaze to him. They both looked into each other's eyes for a second, until Daniel brought the juice up to Amanda's face.
-Take it, she will give you energy.
- And for what...
- To live.
Amanda, almost unconsciously, grabbed the disposable cup. Daniel sat on the swing next to him and began to sway slightly as well.
Amanda looked at the juice and remembered the event with Andy, then she curiously asked Daniel:
- If I ... well, if you asked me to pass you a glass of orange juice and then I would pass it to you but when I did I would grab the glass with my fingers stuck inside ...
- ... That?! How disgusting!
Amanda impressed, but satisfied, with Daniel's response, said exclaiming:
- So is! It's very ugly ...
- It's disgusting, tasteless, very unsanitary, and very bad ...
- Yes! That was exactly what I thought ...
- I don't understand, did you ever do that? Or did they? - Daniel asked with a grimace of disgust.
- They did it to me ...
- Who
- Andy ...
"Andy, your ex?" Daniel was incredulous and horrified.
- Yes ... and that was the final cause that I decided to end him.
- Of course! It's a horrible thing. I can't believe it ... how could he ... he ... I told you he's crazy and he's a bastard, why don't you believe me? Although if you finished with him, you have already realized that something is not right with him, but still I think you do not want to accept it. What more crazy things did he do?
-He is not crazy, it is not because of his character. What I told him was very unpleasant, but it was only the climax of the situation ... I ended up with him mainly because ... because ... it is something complicated, perhaps a long time to explain.
- And he has never had strange behavior?
- Aaaahhhh ... I don't think so.
- Really?
-Why is he so interested in Andy, that maybe ... Oh, I know.
- What.
- You envy him.
- What?!
- I think so.
- Of course not, why would I envy that guy.
- You tell me.
- You are drawing hasty and wrong conclusions.
Then a new silence. Daniel remembered the contract he gave Amanda, looked at her and said:
"So what, did you read it?" He asked Amanda pointing to her paper on his lap
- Yes, I'll sign it.
- Great.
-Congratulations, you knows how to write a convincing contract.
- Hey, I'm an actor, not a fucking ignorant.
-I didn't say you was ignorant ... I just paid you a compliment.
- Well, your compliment sounded like a terrible sarcasm.
- You are drawing hasty and wrong conclusions.
Amanda imitated him in the same way as he had done when they were talking in the car.
- Ha-ha - Daniel also imitated her with a very sarcastic and burlesque tone.
And another silence until, finally, Amanda broke it by saying:
"The first time I saw Andy, I felt my heart beat very hard ..." Amanda looked at Daniel from the corner of her eye and, with a dreamy tone, continued "My breathing stopped," and she laughed.
Daniel looked at her intrigued.
- It was something ... it was a crush. My hands were sweating, I got nervous and started shaking, and when I start shaking I can't stop it. But it was momentary. He was my first boyfriend for a little less than a year. During that time, as he lived in Ireland and I in Spain, we only wrote e-mails, he was good at writing nice things and he sent me pictures, he was cute.
"So, did you have a virtual romance?" Daniel was about to laugh.
- I think so.
- And how they met. He went to Spain?
- I went to Ireland. I won a photography contest, I had never won an award like this before ... for something that mattered to me or liked so much, thanks to that I encouraged my parents with this photography and then I studied to be a photographer. It felt good...
Daniel listened to her and understood her. He wanted to achieve what she had told him, he wanted it and she had already achieved it.
- The award was in Ireland, that's how I went there. I went with my sister, and Ricardo was also because he also won. Ricardo invited us to the theater, because he likes theater a lot, and Andy was performing there.
-There he shot you ...
-No, when he was dressed and made up like his character was not Andrew Gregson. I admired his performance, he loved it. Ricardo offered me to go behind the scenes at the end of the play, he was a good friend of all and they knew him. That's when I saw Andy being just Andy.
- And then how many times did you meet in person?
- A few times.
- I don't understand how something like this can work ...
- It was a great feeling. He was a recognized actor and I was his girlfriend, suddenly I met his world and being with him I felt that I was part of that world. He made me feel important, he told me beautiful things, he was tender and cute, he is obviously very handsome and that he loved me, gave me his attention, made me feel important ... made me feel special, raised my self-esteem.
Daniel parted his lips a little, he recognized the situation.
- But ... that, and you will have noticed, was not absolutely correct. I was an insecure person, and a prince charming came, he gave me the self-esteem that I should not find in him but in me. And finally, one day I asked myself what I was doing with it ... that is, I didn't find a meaning or a valid reason for it. That was not the relationship I wanted to have, I did not feel that special connection, that thing that is worth fighting for, giving things and receiving them ... I was dependent because of a motivation that I should not find in someone else but in myself. .
- So that's how you let him go ...
- It is not worth wasting time on something that does not make sense.
"That makes sense," Daniel said and began to swing.
- I feel better alone. When I'm next to him I don't feel anything anymore.
"You sound like you're looking for something ..." Daniel said without stopping swinging.
- I want to love another person who is not my family in the same way that I love my family.
- And what is love to you.
- Words cannot describe what love can do.
- How poetic, surely you got it out of a song.
"Damn, how insightful he is", Amanda thought at Daniel's wisdom. Then she said:
- To love is a very strong feeling, it is a bond, it is something ... They are like fireworks, I look for fireworks, that power, that feeling so pure and disinterested, that special connection ...
Daniel slowed his swaying, and stopped swinging. He looked at Amanda and noted his insecurity even in lingering glimpses.
- That sounds nice, but I'm sorry to tell you that that doesn't exist.
-How does he know?
- Because the only real love you know is that of your family, but the love you are looking for is a romanticized idea that you should have fed with fairy tales, songs, a lot of television, and some school anecdotes. I see you and I know that you have lived in a bubble for practically your whole life, you do not know much about the real world other than the beautiful letters from Andy Gregson, which also fed your idealization of love. And the truth is that, in real life, that kind of love you are looking for does not exist. I'm telling you based on the experience that I have, I know how it feels ... that you said when you saw Andy Gregson for the first time, that your heart stopped and stuff, that's real but it's momentary, you can't call that love nor hope to live with that all your life. When he was much younger, I was very infatuated, I still am but not too much, I felt what you felt every time I met a girl who caught my attention, it was something cute but fleeting. All the boys knew it deep down even though we said it was real and it was forever, but we didn't really care, we just lived it. That feeling is great and it becomes your addiction, you need it and you look for it. Over time, when you grow up, you realize that these are passions, and that love is actually something much more serious and unexciting.
- So, what is love.
- Love is a decision. And it is also a construction. It is a decision followed by a construction. When you decide to love someone, you make a commitment, a commitment to build to secure that decision. This is how you build a family, that family that you love. That is the love you have in your family. It is a construction.
- And the fireworks ...
- That is something you can feel in moments, of course, but it is not what a love relationship is based on if you want it to be as solid as what you are looking for.
-Gabriel García Márquez says in one of his books that love is an unnatural feeling that unites two strangers in a mean and unhealthy relationship, the more ephemeral the more intense it is.
- Of love and other demons, yes. I really like García Márquez. He also says, "Love is the only thing worth dying for." I see it the same way. Love is the best reason to take risks. For me it is the most important thing in life, an engine. For love, I would even risk a friendship. That is why I tell you that love is something real but serious. Therefore, when you do something important, you always make the decision, it is something crucial, and then you give it the dedication, and that is the construction.
- Have you already fallen in love?
- I still haven't found the right person.
- And how you will know when you find it.
- These things are felt and evaluated. Look, you felt what you felt for Andy, but it was momentary, you saw that a relationship is much more than just feeling fireworks, because these fires are like that ... they explode intensely and quickly disappear. Everything else is a matter of coexistence, of knowing yourself and knowing the other, and that. So you already made your decision regarding Andy, you decided to leave him and that's fine ... you don't have to live with someone with whom you don't feel completely satisfied, you know your own worth and you know that you deserve better.
- That was exactly what I thought. But about the fireworks ... I see ... you're right, what you said makes sense.
- That's right.- Daniel opened his jacket and took out a pen from another inner pocket.- Now, if you're satisfied, sign that contract. I have another copy for my backup, you will sign that too. Read it again if you want.
- Okay.
-------------------------
After a few minutes enjoying the silence and tranquility of the park and themselves, Amanda said to Daniel:
- You say you told stories on the radio ...
- ... no, I didn't say that I told, I said that I read stories. I am not very extraordinary at telling stories, but I am very good at reading aloud, many like to hear me read.
- Ah.
Amanda had had the crazy idea of asking Daniel to tell her a story, because she loved listening to stories.
"I sure read fairy tales," she told him then.
- Yes. The usual stories.
- And the German mythology?
- Sure, sometimes, but yes.
- The Nibelungs.
- What's with them.
- And Loreley.
-That is familiar to me, she sings on her cliff on the Rhine. The Rhine passes through Cologne, my city.
- In mythologies, love is something so spontaneous. Siegfried fell in love with Brunhilda and she with him just by seeing each other. And they lived together for 3 days and they were already promised for life ...
-But if I'm not mistaken, Siegfried forgot his love and married another.
-That other one gave him a potion to erase her memory ...
- Those fantasies ...
- And then they died from the curse of the ring of the Nibelungs.
- Those curses ...
- Siegfried was talking to the birds.
- I think you are basing yourself on Wagner's work, but if you take away the fantasies and curses it is nothing far from the pure and everyday reality.
- I think so. And I suppose he read Brothers Grimm stories too.
- Sure.
- Andersen.
- Sure.
- The one I like the most is The Snow Queen.
- The one I like the most is The Emperor's New Clothes, "It doesn't have to be true what everyone thinks is true." Brilliant.
-That story was one of my favorites ... The boy yelling at the end "but he's naked!" and all who were praising the emperor so as not to look fools.-Amanda said laughing.
- Count one.
- One.
- What.
- What.
A second to look at yourself wide-eyed.
- Tell a story.
Daniel told him, trying to pronounce each word clearly.
-Your pronunciation is extraordinary but suspiciously strange.
- I am German, born in Spain.
- When you think, do you think in German or Spanish?
- Of course in German.
- What are you thinking now.
- Meine Eier tun weh, weil ich so lange gesessen habe.
Daniel told him in an exaggerated tone. Amanda when she finished listening to him, and without understanding a damn, she just lowered her head without taking her eyes off him and said:
- Ray...
- Did you get anything?
- I think not.
- Ich hasse dich so sehr, dass ich Angst habe.
- Ich is Me and dich is something directed at me. Hope it's a good thing.
- I don't even know.
- Qué.
- What.
- So.
- What?.
- Que-so. Queso, cheese. Yum, yum. What mice eat.
- Your ex boyfriend always calls me little mouse and says yum yum i-i every so often. So don't talk to me about cheese or mice.
- He thinks you have a mouse face.
- Tell him I think he has the face of a lunatic. And my face is very nice, not for nothing do women chase me.
-He thinks the same about his face.
- Tell me a story, Amanda.
Amanda looked ahead of her and, holding onto the chains of the swing, rocked gently. Daniel looked at her freely.
-A long time ago, a young marquis lived, he was 15 years old, and he lived in a beautiful mansion with his parents and his brothers. Like every boy his age, they warned him about the sorceresses that roamed the forest and who yearned to steal his existence. He was responsible and he knew how to take care of them. As long as he was with his family, he felt safe. Until one terrible day, the war began, his parents and his brothers were murdered by his enemies, only he survived. Alone and devastated, he was vulnerable. He found refuge in a sorceress who made him believe that there was no world beyond her, that if he walked away he would die, but if he stayed next to her he would drive everyone away from him. One day the young marquis ran beyond the woods and knew that there was a world beyond, that he could breathe and live in a world without her. From then on he lived a lot and knew a lot. The young man, who was no longer a marquis, went through wars and shortages, faced them and survived them all. He was lost in time and crossed ages and eras. He came to have various names and various positions. He came to a time where he became a lieutenant, sided with the vengeful, and also discovered immense wealth that he kept for centuries. Jumping in time he reached a privileged but unknown position, he maintained his rank of lieutenant. He knew love and knew it would last for many years. He died fighting with honor at the age of 32, became a deserter, a hero, a ghost, and a vision.
- A vision?
- Sometimes he appeared to you in a vision, and gave you a message. He would smile and then disappear.
- I did not understand.
- It's just a story.
- It's not real, and it doesn't make sense.
- Of course, it's just an improvisation
- Unheimlich. And yes.
- Yes what.
- I do envy Andy Gregson. He is an extraordinary actor, he is very talented, he is methodical, he is committed, etc. He has a somewhat strange character, but that hardly matters when you commit to the role. I do not like him as a person, but I envy his talent, because I know that he will achieve much faster what I want, because of his capabilities, because of his appearance, because of the way he acts, and because he is Irish. He will have more and better opportunities than me, and I know that he will know how to take advantage of them very well, he will soon go very far. Anyway. I am also aware of my abilities, and I know that I will have to try a little more and above all keep insisting, I just hope I am lucky enough with the opportunities.
Amanda watched him silently. Then they both began to swing.
----------------------------------------------
When they both got back to the car, Amanda made a request:
- Can I drive?
- What?. Of course not.
- I have a license, can I show it to you?
- Better not. I don't know, I ... I'll feel better if I drive.
Silence and discontent in Amanda's eyes.
----------------------------------------------
- Well, do you know how to start?
- Obviously yes! Didn't I tell you? I have a license.
Finally, Amanda had convinced Daniel to be able to drive.
"He has a CD player!" Amanda exclaimed as she settled into the driver's seat.
- Aha, like all cars ...
- Take my backpack and look in the front pocket.
- What for...
Daniel looked both ways to find Amanda's backpack.
- Ash, just do it, man.
- All right, woman.
Daniel found the backpack and opened the front pocket.
- I took out the CD case.
Daniel found a circular case, took it.
- Do you want to...
- Take out the first CD ...
- This one? ... or ...
- In the other side...
- East.
- That one.
Daniel looked at the CD cover and read X-Ray Spex and next to it Germfree Adolescents, and five people stuck in what appeared to be test tubes.
- Now what, do you want me to play it? ...
- Put it on the player.
Daniel put the CD in the player and made it enter. Amanda skipped the slopes to the last as she said:
- I like listening to music while driving, it relaxes me.
- Ah, well, I just hope that decreases our chances of dying.
- Don't be exaggerated. To die? Please ... You not will regret letting me drive, you will see.
- I already regretted it.
- Just relax, huh?
Amanda put her hands on the wheel, deftly started the car, and hit the play button.
Daniel, who was looking out the window, felt the engine roar, the car began to move slowly and then a small voice from the player's speaker:
"Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard, but i think ... Oh Bondage Up Yours! One, Two, Three, FOUR !!"
At the last cry Daniel was startled with fear, and he looked at Amanda with wide eyes full of horror. She was extremely relaxed and was humming the song. Daniel pressed against her seat as the saxophone blaring, the shrill voice singing: Bind me, tie me, chain me to the wall. I wanna be a slave to you all, they made him shudder and feel that the chances of dying on the road were increasing. In truth, Daniel feared for his life.
"But what the hell is that!" Daniel exclaimed.
- He's punk, isn't you in a movie about something like that?
- I have no interest in that movie.
- Well, it's punk. I love.
- You should have made Gregson listen to all these CDs, because surely they are all the same genre.
-Yes, I made him listen, but he didn't call her attention. Not even the movie caught his attention, he would not have agreed to act had it not been for the insistence of his agent, and well because they begged him too much. They offered him a lot of money.
- That? Really? ... damn.
- Ajá.
- You know, you have to fill up with gasoline, there is a station a couple of kilometers away. I'll let you know when we get there.
- Well ... accept that you are shitting with fear ...
Daniel did not answer, but he knew the answer was yes. Amanda laughed.
------------------------------------------------
When they got to the gas station, Amanda got out of the car and walked away from it.
Daniel took care of the reloading, until at one point he approached Amanda.
- Are all your CDs punk?
- The majority. What music do you like?
- It depends on the occasion. Although I always liked the music of The Smiths.
- There is depth and background in his lyrics.
- I know.
- And your favorite band?
- Soda Stereo
- Is that punk?
- No. I don't just like punk. But let's say I like Soda Stereo in the same way that you like The Smiths.
- I never heard them, Soda Stereo.
- Surely.
- You also have a strange tone in your pronunciation.
- I like your jacket.
- And to me your weird hat.
- It's called ch'ullo.
- Why.
- Because that's what it's called. My mother wove it for me, and she always told me that she called it that.
- Where does your mother come from? Of Latinamerica?
-Yes.
- From Peru?
"Damn insightful, but still misses"
- No, from Bolivia.
- Is that close to Peru?
-Yes.
-She came to Spain as a refugee from the dictatorship?
-No. She came to Spain due to the economic crisis. Many Bolivians migrated to Spain in those years looking for work. Many did not do too well. My mother was lucky, she married my father and then my sister and I were born in Barcelona. That's why I value money and I hope you pays me very soon.
- Are you breaking me again with that "Pay me" thing?
- Sorry.
- My parents, at the time, sheltered in our house several people who escaped from the dictatorship in Latin America, especially Chileans and Argentines. All that was when I was a child, since I knew how to speak Spanish I was able to speak with them, it was one of those experiences that you never forget.
- Your life has been very interesting.
Amanda looked back at Daniel and discovered his moles. Then she started laughing.
- What do you think is funny now? I have ... I have monkeys on my face, jumping from side to side or what?
- His moles form a cross on his face ...- and she kept laughing.
Indeed, Daniel had many moles, two of them were exactly on both cheekbones, another on the crook of the chin, and another on the bridge of the nose next to the left eye.
- So what.
-Does you cross himself with them?- And she kept laughing.
- I don't see the joke.
Amanda stopped laughing, then brought her thumb, index and middle fingers together, and finally placed them on each of the four moles that formed a cross on Daniel's face reciting:
-In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit ...- she then she joined both palms of her hands and finished- Amen.
- How funny you are ...- Daniel said sarcastically. Amanda laughed.
Daniel got back to his car.
-------------------------------------------------
Daniel had returned to his position as driver, Amanda guessed and accepted that fact; however, she did not stop putting her CDs in the player.
"Now what will we hear?" Daniel asked without much emotion.
- The Voidoids.
Daniel just raised his eyebrows.
Amanda then changed her mind:
- Better to Patti Smith. I love Patti Smith ...
-She's very good. She's fine, put her on. - Daniel felt more relieved.
- Gloria!
- Hallelujah.
The song was called Gloria, it was a version performed by Patti Smith. The interesting thing about the event is that Amanda began to sing.
Daniel found humor in the situation, and said:
- You also sing. I used to sing when I was in school. I was in a band.
- Yes?, what was you band called
- Purge.
- What does that mean.
- It's not important.
- Were they very popular?
- Enough. But now I don't sing anymore, that was a long time ago. Nor was he an extraordinary singer. I wrote songs ... I just hope they are all burned.
- Are you ashamed of having flirted with music?
Daniel laughed.
- A little, it makes me sad to see myself singing.
- And if in a movie they ask you to sing?
- First, if it's worth it, I do it. Second, I cover my eyes and ears when that scene happens.
- How exaggerated ...
- You better keep singing, let's go.
- Good, but from the beginning. I love this song.
Amanda played Gloria again.
Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine, Amanda sang and continued. Daniel listened to her calmly as he drove calmly down the highway. The music did relax.
Amanda sang with such passion and emotion that she began to transmit her energy to the serene Daniel.
- Oh ... she looks so good, oh ... she looks so fine.
And I got this crazy feeling and then. I'm gonna AH-AH! make her mine ... Oh, I'll put my spell on her. Here she comes ...- Amanda stopped and encouraged Daniel to sing. Daniel just shook his head. Amanda continued more eagerly- Comin 'through my door. Here she comes !. Crawlin 'up my stair. Here she comes! ...
She got to the most important part of the song and Amanda really wanted Daniel to sing the name part.
- And I said darling, tell me your name, she told me her name
She whispered to me, she told me her name - she pushed Daniel slightly to sing the name and insisted - And her name is, and her name is, and her name is, and her name is ... g-l-o-r-Iaiaia .. .
G-l-o-r-i-a!
Daniel then sang almost whispering: Gloooriaa ...
Amanda continued: g-l-o-r-i-a!
And Daniel repeated: Glooriaaa ...
Amanda insisted: G-l-o-r-i-a!
Daniel only slightly raised the tone of his voice: Gloooriaaa
- Say it louder!
- Gloria !!! - Daniel yelled.
They both laughed out loud.
Daniel was so encouraged that they finally got to sing together, moving their heads up and down to the rhythm of the song:
And I heard those bells chimin 'in my heart
Going ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong.
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong
Counting the time, then you came to my room
And you whispered to me and we took the big plunge
And oh. You were so good, oh, you were so fine
And I gotta tell the world that I make her mine! make her mine!
Make her mine! make her mine! make her mine! make her mine ..! Aiaiaiaiaiaia ... Uuh !!!
They arrived in Berlin just about the time the train was also arriving at the station. When they said goodbye, they knew that inevitably and necessarily they were going to meet again, they just did not yet conceive the idea that this could take so long.
They always met again, and they always fell again.
One day, the lieutenant who was once a young marquis, appeared and brought a message, it was a voice brought from the thought of a woman from a future still distant but close enough not to forget it:
"When I met him, I loved him with all my heart."