'Gone 8: Finally!! I have completed the task I came back for. I hope she will be fine and try to understand my situation. I know she is strong enough to face the fact that I'm already gone. But how to console myself now? She's lost and I can't think straight. I will never forgive myself for troubling her. When life seems to suffocate with problems and issues, she is like a gasp of fresh air. Her love revives me and keeps me strong. If I had to choose whether to breathe or to love her, I'll use my last breath to tell her that I've loved her for a thousand years. Sometimes I look at her and wonder how I got to be so damn lucky. I'm amazed whenever I look at her, not just because of her beauty, but because of the fact that every thing I have ever wanted is right infront of me. This is the biggest truth of my life. And I'll find you soon madam. This is my duty. Nothing will happen, trust me. Stay strong.'
"Ugh! You talk a lot," I slapped my alarm clock to keep it's mouth shut. "Don't you dare roar at me, I will get a heart attack."
I got out of my bed and opened the window. It's even colder today. I switched on the heaters and drank the cup of chocolate my mom keeps everyday in the morning by my bed.
The took my hands out of the window and sighed, "still no snow."
I kept the cup down and went to take a shower after packing my school supplies.
It hardly took me twenty minutes to finish bathing since I don't like showers in winter, not even hot ones.
I once again slid the window open when I found something different in weather.
"Snow fall?"
It took me a while to realize that it was really falling snow and not confetti. I wore my slippers and ran downstairs.
"Hey wait! Where are you going in a bath robe? Wait!", my mom kept shouting.
I came outside and it seemed as if nature is showing me with crystal white flowers. I joined my palms to collect some snow and threw it up in the sky.
"Oh! I should make a wish," I joined my hands with snow trapped within, and closed my eyes to concentrate.
I kept thinking deep but nothing could come in my mind. I have waited so long for this day but when I have snow in my hands, I don't have a wish. It's true that I wanted to die but....I want to live. I am not saying that I found a reason to live but that's exactly what I am saying. I want to live for someone I love. My heartbeat increased like a wild horse in an open field. Problems are still there but I've got the courage to fight them.
"Ye Jun...."
That's all came from my mouth. Maybe that's all I want.
I rushed inside the house when cold snow started hitting my almost bare body. I started sneezing at once when my foot came in contact with the wooden floor.
"Who told you to go outside?", my mom shouted.
"I am f-fine," I coughed.
"Why you do this when you know that you catch cold frequently?", she shouted again while showing me the kitchen ladder she was holding in her hands.
"I-I said I am fine," I sneezed. "I'll be okay within few hours."
I climbed the stairs to my room, got ready before the clock shouted again, and got out of the house without a meal.
"Hey! Take an umbrella atleast!", she shouted even after knowing the fact that I am a spoiled kid.
Going out without an umbrella when it's showing outside is also a fun experience I suggest everyone to try once, but only if you have someone to hold an umbrella beforehand for you.
All dogs were sleeping under shades to protect themselves from bitterly cold weather. Sadly I didn't had a blanket. Kindly help animals in every way possible because their lives matter.
"Good morning sir," I bowed when a teacher passed by my side in the school corridor.
I don't want to be sad today. I want to be happy. I opened my locker to stack my stuff and smiled once again.
"You are still here?", I asked the bouquet of daffodils. "I will tell Ye Jun to pick you up."
I kissed the flowers which were not at all fresh till now, but I love them because Ye Jun bought these for me.
"J", I caressed the bracelet attached to it. "I am in love with this letter."
Ye Jun is the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and the most beautiful person I've ever known, but even that is an understatement. He is intimate to me. People think intimacy is about touching and all, but intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand infront of them and their response is 'you are safe with me', that's intimacy.
I am jealous of the one who gets to see him everyday. The only pain I am experiencing now is his absence. I don't want him to walk behind me, I may not lead. I don't want him to walk infront of me, I may not follow. I want him to walk beside me, hand in hand, in an endless paradise.
It's so weird thinking back to when I first met him and that moment I had no idea he would have such a big impact on me.
I love him but is it really love? I don't wanna get lost in infatuation. I have seen my good and bad but staying with him makes me give my best. Am I doing it right? Sometimes I am a mystery to myself.
"Hey Dhriti," a cute guy waved at me, who was hardly a metre away, and passed me a bouquet.
"Me?", I pointed at myself as he nodded. "For what?"
"I want to confess you," he blushed hard enough to make his ears turn red. "I've been seeing you from the very first day and I guess...it's love at first sight."
"Are you sure it's not infatuation?", I laughed nervously while others around were simply sending death glares wrapped with silver foils. "But I don't even know you--"
"You know me Dhriti. I'm in your class!", he exclaimed in joy but his voice felt sorrowful.
"Sorry sir, if you are not Ye Jun then I don't know you," I returned his bouquet and started moving towards my seat.
I am sick of this fake love and attraction. Why can't people look beyond the outer beauty? Is our world that small? I wish we could see the colours of ourselves and love others for what we are from inside. Outer complection is a temporary winning but inner beauty is the actual beauty. I don't care if Ye Jun was a dark fat boy, because I have loved his soul and love is beyond what our foolish eyes can see. It's a feeling which comes from within. We need to find that voice to love ourselves before we love someone else.
"Dhriti wait! Please listen to me--"
"Sorry but I can't accept your proposal. I already love--"
"Me!", someone from the back shouted while others kept quiet.
He came towards us and patted the back of this guy hard enough for us to hear, "she loves me so you better back off."
He was pink, tall and cute with his friendly looking smile. He is Ye Jun. My Ye Jun. Don't sue me for being so possessive.
"Dhriti!", the guy who just now proposed me shouted and shook my shoulders.
"Y-Yeah?", I asked in confusion and a little bit shocked.
"Where are you lost?", he asked. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Ye Jun--", I looked around and no one was there. I slightly hit my head and laugh at myself for this stupid act. "Sorry but I can't. Excuse me."
Everyone resumed their work as the bell rang with the heroic entry of our comedy teacher. My ears wait to get new nicknames from him everyday.
"Good morning my snow flakes," Mr. Han said in his usual energetic tone.
"Are we that cold?", a girl questioned and we started tittering.
"No. But you all are that beautiful," Mr. Han said and started with the class.
The whole time I was lending the window my hot breaths, drawing hearts and smilies on it. Who cares about the lecture? I know I am going to top so no worries.
I entered the canteen after the classes and seeing no special lunch for me but fried chicken leg pieces on my plate too made my day even special. But he is not there, the one whom I wished for.
I was sitting on the bench under my favourite tree, reading my diary and engraving our names on it when someone in all back attire with an umbrella waved at me.
"Where were you all this time?", I asked Ye Jun and slightly hit his arm for making me wait.
"I was at the hospital with my mom."
"Oh! How's she doing now?", I asked in a concerned manner.
"G-Good," he laughed nervously. His forehead started sweating even in this cold weather.
"I hope so," I paused. "By the way, what are you doing here?"
"I came to pick you up. I wanted to celebrate the first snow with you."
"You believe in the first snow magic?", I asked as my curiosity was reaching its limit.
"What's that?", he asked casually to destroy my mood.
"Why you are so boring today?", I pouted.
He cupped my face, "I know about it and I've also wished something."
"What you wished?", I asked with eyes containing stars.
"My wish won't be fulfilled if I tell others," he teased me and ran towards the school gate. "Catch me if you can!"
"Why you want me to become an athlete?", I breathed heavily while taking support of my knees for help.
"Dhriti I want to spend this day with you and only you. Can I?", he held my hands.
"The best thing you can do is to find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. That's the kind of person worth sticking with. And I found it in you."
"You have my whole heart. You always did," he opened the car gate for me. "Please get in young lady."
"I have a big heart full of love so please take it all," I got inside.
"My love is eternal. It's all free for you baby," he wore the seat belt. "Let me drive you to heaven."
"Ye Jun, can I say something?", I asked when he played some music.
"Hmm."
"You are the best thing ever happened to me."