Liliana's pov
"Jackson, are you sure that you're okay?" I asked as we sat in the back of the car while a driver drove us to the airport. We are flying out to Montana to one of the Avery hospitals to perform surgery on a ped's patient who needs a throat transplant after suffering from throat cancer. Jackson and I are both certified ENT's so we are working on the case together. I was excited for this case, because I felt like it would be good for us to get away from Seattle for a couple of days and escape all of the drama at the hospital.
"Yes, would you stop asking me that?" He huffed staring out the window.
"You've been sitting here pretty much mute and frowning the whole car ride. You're not fine. If there's an issue just say something." I sighed already frustrated at this point. I don't know what is up with Jackson, but it seems like he's been in a terrible mood since the idea of flying to Montana came up. I know we had a disagreement a couple of days ago, but nothing big enough for him to treat me the way that he is.
"There's not an issue. Can you just let it go." He said raising his voice.
"Fine." I shrugged. We rode in awkward silence for the rest of the car ride before arriving to the airport to board the Avery private plane.
"The plane is nice, why do we barely ever take it?" I asked, trying to break the ice as we took our seats.
"Because you hate planes." Jackson pointed out.
"Yeah, you're right." I sighed as I relaxed in my seat. I'm still not comfortable in regards to flying, I don't think I ever will be, but I've learned to handle it well over the years. I still get nervous and grip my seat like my life depends on, but I have this theory that I made it through one plane crash and the universe wouldn't put me through another one. Even though that wasn't guaranteed, thinking that way made me feel better.
The flight attendant walked out offering us a glass of champagne.
"Thank you." I smiled getting ready to grab it before Jackson stopped me.
"That's not a good idea. We are going straight to the hospital." Jackson said.
"Fine." I huffed. "Can I just get a club soda, please?"
"Same for me." Jackson said.
"Sure." The flight attendant smiled before walking away to get our drinks leaving us in silence.
"So are you just not going to talk to me the whole plane ride?" I asked as we sat on the plane after take off.
"Lily, this is a big surgery. I'm trying to research more for our treatment plan." He sighed running his hands down his face.
"I understand that, but we are still on a trip without our child. How often does that happen. We should at least enjoy each other's company."
"This isn't a vacation. This is work." He frowned.
"Obviously, I know that Jackson." I sighed.
"Well can you act like it." He said making me glare at him. I was trying my best not to snap, but I could tell this was going to be a long trip. I didn't know how much longer I could handle his attitude.
After what seemed like forever we finally made it to Montana and went straight to the Avery Medical Center.
"Welcome, welcome. Here are your charts, Dr. Avery and Dr. Garcia." One of the doctors from the center said handing us the charts as he greeted us. We read through the patients charts as we walked through the hallway.
"A patient and a donor. Two of them here together, same time, same day, perfect match. It's like winning the lottery." The doctor sighed happily.
"If you consider a kid being brain dead and having his organs donated a lottery ticket, then yeah." I frowned looking down at my chart making Jackson side eye me. I had a love hate relationship with most transplant surgeries. Someone was receiving the chance to live again while someone else was dead.
"Of course, and it's a horrible loss. Uh, that was... I'm just thrilled that you're both here to make this possible." He said before showing us to the locker room so that we could change into scrubs.
- -
"The donor patient's room is at the end of this ICU." The doctor said as we walked through the hallway.
"And you have the donor consent forms?" I asked.
"Yeah, before we get to that, uh Mr. Young is going to need you to explain to him why there's nothing more you can do for his son." He said making both Jackson and I frown.
"I thought he knew we were coming," I said.
"Well, he does. It... it's just that, he's had a bit of trouble accepting what's happened, as I'm sure you can understand."
"You told me very clearly that the patient's father was on board." Jackson said obviously irritated.
"Now, hold on. I never said that he agreed. I merely said..." The doctor said trying to explain himself.
"So he thinks that we're coming to save his kid, not take his organs." I sighed shaking my head.
"I thought that, once you had examined the boy, it'd be better coming from you." He explained before we entered the room to greet the patients father.
"I'm just glad you're here. I mean, Dr. Corridan said that there's nothing he could do. Then he said there was another doctor who was coming in from Seattle. I was like..." He sighed his eyes full of tears of hope. I felt so guilty because I knew that we were about to break his heart. "I mean, it's great, right? Th-there's hope. So, okay. What's the plan? I mean, you... you... you want to do some tests? Surgery? Obviously, you want to examine him, but how long before you think he'll wake up?" He asked making Jackson and I glance at each other, because we knew that this wouldn't be easy.
"Mr. Young, I'm a..." I began to say.
"Eric, Eric, please." He says.
"Eric..." I say.
"It's his birthday. Did I tell you that? Double digits, he kept saying. I mean, he was having the time of his life up on that mountain. "Just one more run, dad. Just one more run..." He said as he reminisced obviously feeling guilty over the accident.
"Eric, I'm afraid we have some difficult news. We've looked at Brian's scans, and, unfortunately, Dr. Corridan was right. There's nothing that we can do for your son." I explained causing him to let out a shaky sigh running his hands over his face.
"Then why are you here?"
"We are here..." I said trying to find the words to explain that we were there to take his son's organs. "Because we wanted to talk to you about... Donating your son's organs."
"No." He shook his head. "You're here to help my son."
"I understand how difficult this is..."
"Difficult? If you understood what you were asking, you wouldn't..." He scoffed on the verge of tears.
"Mr. Young..." I sighed.
"I know what we're asking." Jackson sighed. "When all you want is to have him back, to hold him. I know the thought of letting any part of him go feels... Impossible. You're the only that can make this decision." He said. Obviously we both knew how hard it was to let go of hope. To let go of your child. It's something that no parent should ever have to experience. Even though I've learned to cope, there's still a whole in my heart from losing George and I think about him every day.
"We understand that. We wouldn't ask you to do something that you're not comfortable doing. And if ultimately you don't want to do this, that's fine." Jackson continued. "We are here to support you either way. All I know is... Is when I lost my son...I just needed to find a little meaning in it." He said making me tense up. I understood that he was trying to make a connection, but for him to just come out and talk about our experience without any warning threw me off guard and it made me uncomfortable. That isn't something I thought that he should just share without considering how it would make me feel. We both lost our son.
"Where do I sign?" The father asked tears running down his face.
- -
"This way to Caroline's room. Her parents are very eager to meet you." The doctor said leading us towards the room of the recipient. We stopped once we made it to the outside of the room where the parents of the patient stood. "This is Risa and Mary Hodges."
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you both." Jackson said.
"Listen, we're grateful that you're here, that you came all this way, but our daughter's met dozens of doctors, each one ordering more tests, putting her through more hell, making promises they had no business making." Her mom Mary said, obviously frustrated.
"Mary, maybe let the guy say hello." Risa said.
"She needs the tumor gone. But she needs her vocal cords. She needs her voice. So if this throat transplant isn't real... I mean, if it's just another rug
you're gonna pull out from under her, then...
"You're scared. I totally understand." Jackson said."Let me, um... Let me start over. It's my fault.
I'm Dr. Avery. I am a double board-certified
plastic surgeon and ENT specialist. I'm also a dad." He said making me side eye him. Maybe I was being sensitive, but I was tired of him bringing our kids up to his patients that we didn't even know. There are other ways to connect without mentioning them or our experiences. "Now, I've come a long way because I know that I can help your daughter. And I do not make promises that I can't keep." He explained. We walked into the room so that we could examine our patient and further discuss the possible treatment plan.
"I just... I still don't know if this is the right thing. The laryngectomy is still the safest..." Mary said as Jackson did an examination.
"No, Mary, we agreed. They are not taking
her vocal cords."
"What if you go in there, Dr. Avery, and you cut open her throat, and the transplant doesn't work?"
"In that place, we'd be looking at a permanent trach." Jackson explained
"Permanent. See? And you want to risk that?" Mary scoffed.
"He wouldn't do it if he didn't think that he could. Would you?" Risa asked.
"This procedure gives her the best chance at survival... At getting her voice back, her whole life back." Jackson said.
"Mary, come on."
"Okay." She agreed. We further discussed the treatment plan before leaving the room.
"Why are you doing that?" I asked Jackson as we stopped in the middle of the hallway.
"Doing what?" He frowned.
"Telling those moms you're a dad to charm your way into the room, bringing up George to that dad." I said angrily folding my arms.
"It's my life. It happened." He said defending himself.
"Yeah, it's my life, too, but I don't use it to..." I began to say.
"To what?" He said raising his voice. "Help that dad make his decision? Help those moms
find a little bit of comfort? Lily, if you don't like it,
that is your problem." He said making me frown.
"Look, we have tonight to prep for the surgery. I have somewhere that I need to be. I will find you later." He said beginning to walk off before I grabbed his arm.
"What? We're having a conversation and you just want to walk off. We're not through talking." I frowned.
"I am. I'm about to go." He said before pulling away.
"Go where?" I scoffed folding my arms.
"Don't worry about it."
"Jackson, I swear if you walk away without telling me where you're going while we're in the middle of a disagreement I am going to make your life so damn miserable." I threatened.
"I'll find you later." He said sternly before walking off, leaving me in shock. I felt completely disrespected. This whole trip, all that Jackson has done is disregard my feelings and treat me like I did something to him when I had did nothing. I was so upset and pissed off that I wanted to cry but I kept reminding myself that I was at the hospital working. I needed to keep it together.
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