~Pain~
TW: Violence and self harm.
Silence emitted across the room, every pair of eyes widened at Draco's question-including mine. Nolan's arm around my shoulder stiffened, the joint he was bringing to his lips stopping half way in shock.
"The fuck did you say?" Nolan snarled, leaning forward slightly.
Draco's expression was emotionless except for his eyes, they were dark and daring. His gaze fixed on Nolan, glaring daggers at him as his eye twitched scarcely.
"You heard me." Draco jerked his head forward in a slight nod, brows raising temporarily.
The room was heated with tension and no one dared to speak up while the two boys scowled at one another. I just watched in shock, unsure of what I could possibly say. Why would Draco bother to care why I had bruises? It had no effect on him, so why would he bring it up? Choosing to push those thoughts away, I edged forward to speak.
"It's nothing, I'm just really clumsy." I laughed it off, however no one joined in. Some seemed entertained by the small brawl, others were just looking down at the floor-to intoxicated to care.
"Nevermind that," Nolan said, relaxing a little and leaning back to he was against the sofa again. "How come you were looking at my girlfriend Malfoy? And why are you so concerned about her?" He tilted his chin up, raising a brow at the blonde boy.
Draco shifted in his seat a little, placing his drink on the coffee table infront of us. "I'm not," Draco shrugged. "I'm just curious because the bruises on her look quite painful, and not something to be found from being clumsy."
I glanced down at the floor, dreading to meet his blue hues-afraid that if I did i would break knowing that he's caught on. But nothing is wrong with mine and Nolan's relationship. We love eachother, we really do. Just because he gets a little angered sometimes doesn't mean anything. We all have our flaws.
"I think you should mind your buissness, Malfoy." Nolan challenged. "If it hasn't occurred to you already," He stood up. "You know nothing about her, yet have the nerve to ask such stupid questions."
Draco stood up also, the coffee table between the being the one thing blocking them apart. "I'm sorry, Hawk. But at least I know how to treat my women." He challenged, Blaise, Theo and Adrain also standing as if they could sense something was about to go down.
"And what might you be trying to accuse?" Nolan's fists clenched from beside him. If I thought it was a bad idea to step in before, I'd be stupid if I did it now.
Draco straightened his back, head high and chin tilted up. He rolled his jaw before saying, "I think you may be mistreating your so called girlfriend."
Nolan's fist collided with Draco's jaw.
Everyone shot up, but I just stared in horror. Draco held his jaw for a moment before forwarding over the table to strike Nolan-forcing him to fall back against the sofa next to me. My mouth opened In shock as Draco hovered over Nolan with a busted lip to continually punch him with harsh knocks.
I saw Mila rush over to me to pull me from my position at the corner of the couch, a foot away from where the boys brawled. Blaise wrapped his arms around Draco's body to attempt to pull him away with no success, causing Nolan's face to become more blooded.
Theo came rushing to Blaise's side, helping to remove Draco who had an infuriated look on his face. "Piece of fucking shit!" Draco sneered before he was finally drawn away from Nolan. He struggled against Theo's and Blaise's grasp, his busted lip smearing blood on his chin.
"Get off me!" Draco spat, shoving the two boys away from him. His gaze met mine, eyes softening when he saw my wet cheeks-I didn't even realise I was crying until now. He bit his lip, bringing his thumb up to wipe off the blood before turning around to stride out of the room.
I stood frozen with Mila grasping my arm, until Nolan's groans snapped me back to reality. I rushed over to him where he lay on the sofa, eye bruised a large cut on his left cheekbone and blood smeared all over his face.
I crouched infront of him, moving his hair out of his face with my fingers. "Nolan, Nolan are you okay?" A tear rolled down my cheek, adrenaline still roaming in my blood.
All he did was groan more, bringing his hand up to press against his jaw, he winced from the contact. "He needs to be taken to the hospital wing!" I called, looking at the three boys.
"Right, yeah-okay." Adrain stammered as they all picked Nolan up to carry him out of the room.
"Are you not going with them?" Pansy asked.
"No." Is all I said before striding out of the room in the direction of where the blonde boy headed not too long ago.
I trudged to Draco's dorm only to find it empty, only one neatly made bed inside as he had a dorm to himself. Lucky bastard. Closing the door, I turned to head to the common room, finding it swimming with a couple of third and second years. But no Draco.
One of the students walked past me so I quickly turned to face them. "Exuse me, did you see someone tall with pale blonde hair come through here?" I asked them.
"Yeah, um he looked pretty angry but he went out of the common room" they pointed to the door that would lead you into the halls. I quickly thanked them before walking out of the room.
The halls were empty and dark as it was past curfew and quite late at night. The cold air fanned against my skin, its brisk manner forcing the hair on the back of my neck to stand. In a swift motion I turned corridor after corridor, determined to find Draco and confront him.
Getting frustrated, I considered heading back to my dorm and waiting until morning too see him. A small sense of guilt sat in the back of my mind, I was more concentrated on talking to Draco than my own boyfriend. I pushed that thought away, hearing the sound of a door closing a few feet away.
Head wipping in the direction of the source of the sound, I saw a bathroom door swinging slightly from just being opened. I rushed over to reopen it, only to be met with the sight if Draco leaning over a sink-lip still bleeding.
I sucked in a breath before slowly stalking over to him, but froze once his eyes snapped to mine through the mirror. A stiffened a gasp before continuing to walk close to him, standing on his right.
"Get out of here Avalon." Draco said, glancing down at his hands and I noticed that his knuckles were cut and bruised from the fight.
Ignoring him, I chose to conjure a small cloth with my wand, walking next to him to wet it in the sink. He moved back with furrowed brows to leave me some space to use the sink.
"What are you doi-"
His head jerked when I brought the cloth up to his lip, raising my brows as he sent me a confused look until rolling his jaw and letting me continue. I wiped the blood of his chin and was careful when cleaning the cut on his lips.
While I worked at his lips, I could feel his gaze fixed on me- a strange sensation settling in my stomach from his stare. He towered over me, our bodies close together in the dim lit room.
When I looked up to finally meet his eyes something washed over me. The way his hues carved into mine was sacred, it almost felt criminal to see him this close-the unfamiliar feeling rushing in my blood.
"Why did you do that?" I whispered, bringing the cloth away from his face and breaking our eye contact to clean the blood off his knuckles.
"What? Punch the bitch?" He laughed, but not an actually humorous one but a tormenting one. "What did you expect me to do? Sit there and take it like a pussy when he punched me first?" He scoffed, wincing when I pressed the cloth against his wounds.
I frowned. "No, why did you ask him that question?"
I looked up at him and he was still watching me. His eyes flickered, narrowly slightly as he watched me with an intense gaze.
"It doesn't matter." He turned his head to the side, pulling his hand from my grasp and stepping backwards. The space in between us now felt empty, no longer filled by both out bodies.
"It does matter," my hands dropped to my side. "You could have pretended not to see the bruises, but you did. Why?" I questioned him.
His jaw tightened before he turned back to face me. "So you're saying they are from him?" He stepped forward again, coming closer to me.
My eyes widened. "No-no I didn't say that." I stammered.
"Why are you nervous then?"
"I'm not"
"Yes you are."
"Malfoy-just stop."
"Why should I?" He raised his voice causing me to jump. His eyes grew dark like before, his stare piercing through me. "I know something's up with your relationship. I've suspected it for a long time now!"
I bit my lip, anger building up in my insides. "You don't know anything!" I yelled causing his face to flicker with surprise. My breathing was heavy, small pants escaping my lips.
He drew closer. "What he's doing isn't right, you need to understand tha-"
"Shut up!" Tears brimmed my eyes, a glossy aspect filling them. "He loves me! Nothing is wrong with us and even if there was it's none if your buissness!"
I watched his face stiffen, he looked me with so many words lurking in his stare that it was uncountable. He rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek, running a hand through his hair.
"Whatever." He said before breaking his gaze and striding past me to leave the room.
Once the door shut I immediately broke down, sobs rasping from my throat. Tears leaked from my reddening eyes, I buried my face in my hands. Why did this have to be so hard. Why did he have to make this so hard. He could have just minded his own business and we wouldn't be in this situation.
He shouldn't care what happens to me, we are barely friends. He has no right assuming he knows what's right and wrong in my life, that's for me to decide.
But why did it hurt this bad?
With teary eyes I glanced to the floor, noticing a small blade of glass sitting on the ground. The temptation lurked in my stomach. My brain repeated the same words in my head over and over again.
Use it.
It will help you.
The pain will help you cope.
Use it.
You know it will make you feel better.
Pain is better
Use it.
And I complied.
The sharp blade pierced into my skin, blood appearing on the surface as I drew line after line on my arm. My face cringed, twisted at the pain-but it was good, I reminded myself. It took the mental pain away and replaced it with physical pain, and I was used to that. It was better to feel this than think of anything else.
I didn't want to feel anything else.
_________________________________________
If you ever need someone to talk to my dms are always open. There is always someone to help you if you ever feel the way theo feels right now.
Please remember to vote and follow <3