/CHAPTER TWENTY THREE/
They say move on, but are
We really ready to?
~TAYO 🌺
Also it's a Tayo POV, so it might long😂😂
(DEDICATION; YOU all, thanks so much for being patient with me, for that I'm doing a double update. Also y'all are the real MVR and SPECS)
(SONG; there are two songs in this chapter 🥳🥳🥳 firstly; life's a mess by juice WURLD and blinding lights by the weeknd)
NOT EDITED!
~TAYO~
"Ouch!"
I yelped in pain as my Nana rubbed an ointment on my face. "Nana, it hurts." I told her.
"Well it would surely hurt you dear." she said, still rubbing the ointment on my face.
My Nana stayed over with me in the house since Monday, because according to her, she had to cater to my aching body and add ointments -like she was doing- to my injuries.
Speaking about the incident that occurred on Monday; when me and Tega were called back into the principal's office, I was asked why I came all the way from my school to the mainland to pick a fight and I told them the reason. I told them that he slapped my pinky, no one said nothing as they all kept looking at me in the office like I was saying the most stupidest thing on the planet.
"Who is your pinky?" the principal had asked.
"My girl." I replied him, and everyone in the office started laughing including my Nana and Tega's mum.
"So it's because of girl you turned into John Cena?" the pot bellied teacher asked but I ignored his question.
Anyways, before we left the school my Nana gave some amount of money to Tega's mum, made some donation to the school account, she even forced me to hug and apologize to Tega, which I was solely against but my Nana remained persistent and even threatened to leave me behind at the school if I didn't apologize, so, I had to concur and hug Tega, also he apologized for slapping my Pinky on Saturday. He also told me that he wasn't in his right sense that night, that's why he'd slapped her.
"Lay on your stomach." My Nana said after placing a plaster on my nose and my cheek, then I laid on my stomach while my Nana rubbed ointment on my back- which by the way was really hurting.
"Nana."
"Yes?" she answered.
"Today in school," I looked back at her but she wasn't looking at me, her concentration was on my back. "I was suspended." I told her as she continued to massage my back.
She didn't say anything, I only heard her heave heavily.
"How many weeks?" She asked after being hesitant.
"Two." I closed my eyes, stuffing my head into my pillow as my Nana touched a part on my back which was really hurting.
"My dear, do you know what I wish for you?" I didn't answer and she took that as a cue to continue. "That you'll stop getting into fights, that you'll grow up to be a responsible adult; that's what I wish for you dear, so please Tayo try to stop getting into fights and control your temper. I would be lying if I say that I wasn't disappointed and ashamed when Abraham told me you got into a fight on the mainland, but I just had to do what I had to and help my grandson out."
"Thank you Nana and sorry," I told her.
"It's okay," she commented still massaging my back. "Tade called me yesterday evening, he told me about his suspension also," she said and I didn't say anything. "Tade is coming over, do you hear?"
"Yes ma."
"I'm done," she said and I stood up from my bed, went into my closet and picked out a top to wear. "So who is Pink?" my granny asked in a teasing tone as I walked out of my closet.
I smiled not answering her question.
"Tariq," She called me by my Islamic name. "Answer me, I asked who pink is."
"My ex." I told her as I made myself comfortable on the bed, my head laying on the pillow.
"So you've broken up?"
"Nope, she's taking a break."
My Nana left afterwards to her room, leaving me all alone when I heard my door creak opened, wondering who it could be I turned my head to the direction and saw Tade closing the door before entering fully into my room. He rested his back on my door, smiling widely at me.
"Hey bro!" he greeted still resting his back.
"You didn't knock." I told him, resting my head back unto my pillow.
"I don't need to knock before entering my brothers room." he still wasn't moving from the door.
"Why are you staying by the door?" I decided to ask.
He raised both his hands, and that was when I noticed his crutches with him. I looked down to his legs and saw that he wasn't wearing his prosthetic - false leg.
"I'm resting." He said.
Tade was my cousin, but I regarded to him as my younger brother. He was part of the few people in my life who I really loved, he was understanding, nice, a dreamer with a whole lot of dreams. Tade once dreamt of being a runner not until his whole dream came crashing down all because of a damned Cancer. Osteosarcoma, also known as bone cancer.
A stupid bone cancer.
Tade had bone cancer which was the reason one of his legs, his left leg precisely, had to be removed when he was in JSS2. He was sad, and he found it really difficult to cope at first but I guess that he was getting use to it later on, until, a diagnosis report from the doctor which proved that his cancer was back, and that since had put Tade in a really sour mood, though everyone in the family; including me, try to show our support towards him.
He moved towards me using his crutches to assist himself, then collapsed on my bed on reaching it. He laid on my bed comfortably, putting his head on my thighs and I allowed.
"Bro, you didn't even notice my hair," i looked at his hair and saw that it was neatly made into a cornrow. "My dad made it," he said smiling but I didn't say anything in response as I continued laying my head on my pillow, my head thinking about a lot of things, but mostly my parents.
It had been long since I heard from them and I wasn't comfortable with that, and what hurt the most was that they didn't even think to ask about my welfare, they didn't.
"Bro," i looked at him and saw him looking at me and I nodded to him, giving him a go ahead. "Your parents are around."
"My Mum and dad?"
"Yes."
I sat uprightly on the bed while Tade had to place his head on the bed. I couldn't fathom how I felt at that moment.
Joy? Anger? I didn't know.
"My parents are around?!" I had to say to myself again because I just couldn't believe it.
It had been more than a month already, since I'd seen them last, a part of me was happy that they were finally home and the other just felt indifferent because I knew they wouldn't even bother to ask after me and also I knew that they were surely back to Nigeria for business purposes, not for me. Imagine I wasn't even told by anyone that they were back, and neither of them could come up to my room to see their son.
Parents indeed!
"Dad is in his study right?" I asked Tade who was backing me already, his eyes were fixed at the door of my walk-in closet, he didn't answer me, he didn't seem to even remember that I was here with him, and I knew exactly what was wrong with him and why he was lost in thoughts. "Tade!" I called out to him again and still he didn't answer, then I placed my left hand on his back which was backing me, I tapped him and instantaneously he faced me.
"Yes?" he answered me, his voice missing the normal energetic Tade I'd always love. "Is there anything?"
"Why are you thinking again Tade?"
He didn't say anything for sometime, until he sat up on the bed, his back laying on the board of the bed, with his remaining body laying on the bed. I could see properly his kneecap which was missing his leg and my heart cried at the sight of it and I could just imagine how Tade was feeling.
Just imagine having to cut a leg Because of that damned Cancer.
"I wasn't thinking bro," he started, his eyes lowered to the place his leg was meant to be in. "I was just wondering; You know there are more than seven billion people in this world. . ."
He trailed off and I waited for him to continue, but he didn't as his eyes were strained at the spot of the missing leg. I looked at him, feeling really bad for him, and how sad he must had been, especially knowing that the possibility that he could die from that cancer was on the higher side.
"Why me?" just when I thought he wasn't going to say anything again, he said that. "Seven billion people in this world and I just had to be few of the most unfortunate one. . .the unfortunate one with cancer, why me?"
I could see the tears swell up in his eyes, and I didn't know what to do. I was really bad at consoling people though I really wanted to. I was just really bad at telling people sorry, because I could end up saying something irrational. Few times when Tade acted so sentimental and this was part of those few times, I wished at that moment I could take all his pains and sorrows away but I wasn't his creator.
I wasn't Allah.
"What did I ever do?" his voice was low as always. Tade voice was always low, even when he got angry he spoke calmly. "You know I was always a good kid, respected my elders, did my prayers, even when my mom died. . .I never loosed faith and kept on doing my prayers because I knew it was our creator will, but then I had to have this terminal disease, just why?"
"It would pass, Tade," i didn't even know when I said that but I did. "You can't die, you won't die."
He chuckled. "You don't have to put my hopes up, I know I would. . ."
"You're talking like a fool now," I yelled at him. Remember when I said that i didn't know how to console people, well, this is was exactly the reason I'd said that, I knew I'd end up saying something irrational. "I'm the eldest here, so surely I'll die before you. And don't be scared of that simpleton called death."
"Sorry if this might come offensive bro, but you're speaking like an illiterate now," I faced him, my brows furrowed up, but surprisingly I wasn't angry with what he'd said, fine! I was a bit angry but I suppressed it. "It's not like I'm scared of death, I'm just scared of the pain that I'll be causing those that I'll be leaving down here on Earth, my father for an instant. Also bro, death doesn't know no age."
I ruminated on what he said and truly it made lots of sense, ". . .death doesn't know no age." Indeed, i also wasn't scared of death, because I know death is part of life. Death in life is inescapable, ineluctable and inevitable. Also why should I fear death when it is a reformation in something even more magnificent- than life itself.
Death is where it all starts, death; it isn't the end.
Just like my favorite philosopher- Socrates- had said, "To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?"
In other words, death is part of the good things that could ever happen to someone on Earth and only wimps and debilitated people fear death and I, OLATAYO JASPER BANKU wasn't any of those, but. . . but I did fear loosing the ones I love.
There was silence for some minutes as neither of us said a word. Tade looked like he was in thoughts, he kept staring at the window at the end of my room and I just laid down thinking about absolutely nothing, which by the way was unusual because I was always thinking about something, but that day was different because my thoughts were free and I felt at peace, then I remembered that my parents were home and my anger came running into me with force.
Mr and Mrs Banku, my father and mother were home.
"Tade?" I tapped him on his shoulder and he turned to me. "Are my parents downstairs?"
"What?" He asked with what seemed like a look of confusion on his face.
"My parents, you said they're around."
He laughed and I stared at him now confused, because I sure didn't crack a joke, or did I?
"No bro, they are not home."
"Uhn? But you said they're around, right?"
"Yes, they are around but they're not in Lagos, they're in Abuja. Remember today is Independence day, so they're in eagles square for the celebration, my dad also went this morning, that's why I'm here."
I nodded now grasping everything. I knew it. My parents were only back to Nigeria for a reason, but what I didn't know was that it was for the Independence day celebration, and they couldn't even call to let me know they were in Nigeria. The least a responsible parent should do.
There was a knock on the door which earned my attention but I didn't respond because I could guess who it was.
"Bro someone is knocking." I didn't respond to Tade. Instead, I took my phone and opened Instagram while the knocks continued. From the side of my eyes I saw Tade stand up from the bed with the help of his crutches, and moved towards the door and when he was about to turn the door knob the door clicked opened and just like I'd guess it was him, Wendell.
Honestly, I knew he'd come over to see me, especially after the fall out we had at Nola's party we didn't speak since then and as petty as I might sound I still didn't want to talk to him.
"Hola Hermano," that was Tade, and yes, the language he'd said was Spanish. He was actually learning Spanish from Wendell, so that's why he had greeted Wendell with the Spanish language, also I really don't know the English translation to whatever he'd said so I can't do the translation.
Wendell smiled and I rolled my eyes and pretended to fix my eyes on my phone, when in actuality it was on both Wendell and Tade as they stood by the door.
"Beuñas Ñoches Tade." Still, don't ask me the translation because I don't know what it means. "I can see you've really improved with you Spanish."
"Heya. It's all thanks to you, hermano."
I stopped listening to their conversation once someone's picture popped up unto my screen, the only person that could make my heart skip a beat. The picture was a selfie and her skin was glowing as usual, no make-up, just natural and I couldn't help but ogle. I double tapped on the picture and did a screenshot of the picture, when I proceeded to stroll away from the picture something got my attention below the comment section, so, I clicked the comment section and saw someone with a really dumb username -Money- comment 'my heartbeat', and for some reasons it made me angry. Truly, it wasn't my first time seeing such outrageous comment but the real reason while I got really angry was the fact that out of the thousands of comments she had on that picture she decided to reply to that comment and not only that, she replied that comment with two heart emoji and a blushing emoji. A frigging heart emoji and a blushing emoji.
Like why?!
She only used to reply to my comments with a heart, so why did she reply that stupid commenter with a heart? Just why?
I clicked the stupid commenter username which took me directly to the page and within me I just prayed hard that the commenter would be a girl, but it wasn't. I saw the stupid commenter name written in the profile, it was that stupid bastard, the idiotic Josh, the one with the stupid surname. He was the one my Pinky replied with a two heart, it was that fool.
I held unto my phone tightly as I strolled through his page. His recent post was the same picture that my Pinky had posted recently with the caption 'Most beautiful girl I've ever seen. My wifey (soon)', my blood boiled more at the sight and. . .and she also liked that picture, I also saw her comment highlighted under the picture, she commented 'Awwwwwn dear!' followed with two pink heart and a blushing emoji.
My head was hot and my heart was breaking more, I could even feel tears cloud up my eyes.
Has she moved on? Is she with that bastard now? Doesn't she love me anymore?_ those questions kept swirling around my head, but I decided not to jump into conclusion quickly, so I decided to be Petty. I went back to her recent picture and wrote 'My Bonnie. You're very beautiful!' then I kept a black heart at the back before I posted it.
My Pinky knew what a black heart meant and I only reserved it for her. The black heart was just a symbol of our undying love.
My eyes couldn't leave my phone as I waited impatiently for her to reply the comments, if she'd ever. Though I still had my hopes up that she'd reply my comment at least. Some seconds later I saw a notification pop up, I checked it and saw that she'd replied but angrily I threw my phone away without direction immediately I saw her reply.
"Tayo what the?!"
I was blinded by my rage so I couldn't see who spoke but without doubt I knew it was Wendell. I felt a presence sit besides me on the bed but I just wanted to be alone, the thoughts that my Pinky could be with another person was killing me, the thoughts that she could be showing another person love was killing me, the thoughts that she could be kissing and being cozy with another person was making me crazy. "Tayo? It's me Wendell, what is wrong?"
"LEAVE ME!!" I yelled at him as I stood up from the bed. My head was hot and I had a terrible migraine, I held my head with both my hand as I began to pace around my room. "She won't leave me, she won't leave me, she won't leave me. . ." I chanted to myself like a daily mantra.
She won't leave me. My pinky just couldn't leave me.
She was the only one keeping me sane, so she couldn't leave me.
"Tayo?! What the hell is wrong with you?" I didn't look back at Wendell, I couldn't care less about anything he was saying at that moment all that couldn't leave my head was. . was my Pinky replied me with a 'Thanks'
She replied with a 'Thanks!!'
She didn't put a black heart or even a pink heart like she'd put for that bastard.
I ran my nails through my hair, pacing as I hyperventilated, not wanting to believe that I'd lost my Pinky forever.
"Who's shouting?!" I heard someone yell as the door closed with a resounding bang. The voice was so identifiable and even without looking I knew it was my nana. "Tayo why are you shouting?"
I didn't answer her, I couldn't even remember when I'd shouted, also, i didn't want to talk to anybody. I just wanted to be alone, be by myself.
"Y'ALL SHOULD JUST LET ME BE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!" I looked back and saw my Nana and my best friend moving towards me but i shook my head and turned my back at them yelling. "DON'T COME NEAR ME!!! LEAVE ME! LEAVE ME!! LEAVE ME!!!"
My throat ached and pulled from all the yelling I'd done, and for a moment everywhere siezed, no movement and no one spoke. I wasn't moving also, I just kept breathing heavily and gasping for the air that I'd used in shouting. I thought no one was in the room again since I had my back turned back, i couldn't see. I turned back and saw them. Wendell and my Nana they were standing besides each other, both their gazes on me.
"Tayo dear, what's wrong? talk to me, I'm your Nana, please just talk to me. Also I won't leave you, i can never leave you."
I released a low chuckle, I wasn't having anything of what my granny had told me.
"You won't leave me you say, you won't leave me you say, you won't leave me. . ."
She moved closer to me almost touching me wth her hand but i evaded and moved back a little as I casted her a glare through my teary eyes.
"We won't leave you Tayo, your parents wouldn't leave you also. . ."
"NO! NO!! NO!!!" I shook my head. "They always leave me, they leave me Nana, you left me also, Tami left me also, y'all left me when i needed you guys the most. You ALL left me when I was alone, for six months Nana, i was alone with strangers, hoping one day y'all would come for me but you. . ."
"TAYO! Please that's enough!"
"No Nana, it isn't enough! let me talk. . ."
"Tariq shut up! It's all in the past now!"
"DON'T SHUT ME UP NANA!"
Then i felt it, a sting on the left side of my face. . . I felt that sting again on the other side. My Nana had. . . slapped me, she laid her hands on me for the first time. Saying I was shocked would be an absolute understatement.
"Don't you ever yell at me again, I've tolerated all you disrespect for so long and I won't any longer. I'm your Nana and you should treat me with respect!"
"You slapped me Nana. . ." was what left my mouth. I stared at my Nana as she stood right in front of me shooting daggers with her eyes, I was still in shock from the slap she'd given me. "You slapped me. . ."
"And I would do it once again if you don't mind yourself," she said, her eyes never leaving mine. "Tariq, the teeth that the dog use to play with his pup, is the same he'd use to bite it. So I have every right to scold you when you deserve it!"
I looked back and saw Wendell staring at me with a solemn expression, Tade was no where to be seen. I just wanted to be alone, I wanted my Nana to leave along with Wendell.
"See Tayo," my Nana's voice was more calm and soothing as she tried touching me again but I moved back completely avoiding her like a plague. "Please it's all in the past now, I want you to forget like you've always done and move on. I promise to never leave you alone again, your whole family is with you."
Silence.
I didn't say anything. She wanted me to keep pretending like nothing had happened to me before!? She wanted me act like they'd never left me before.
"I just want to be alone."
I finally spoke and she casted me a glance before walking out of the room, leaving Wendell behind.
"Leave wendell." and he left reluctantly, leaving me all alone in the room and I went over to the door and locked it.
I never told anyone about my greatest fear, I had also never mentioned my greatest fear, but here it was, creeping it way into my life. They were finally leaving; my pinky already left me, my parents already did also, same as my sis, very soon Wendell would, then my Nana, then my cousins, then everyone would, then perhaps the whole world would also leave me.
My greatest fear was loosing the ones I loved.
I rested against the door, holding the sides of my face tightly with both my hands. And since I was alone, I allowed my tears that I'd been holding back to flow down freely. I was in shock with everything that had happened to me over the past minutes; from her reply, to my Nana slapping me and she telling me to act like nothing had happened, but how could I act like nothing had once happened to me when it was part of me, already.
My past and my present were one.
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
A/N
I'M SO SORRY WATTPADIS, I UPDATED REALLY LATE. PLEASE IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
SO THERE WE HAVE IT GUY'S, TAYO'S POV.
SO WHAT DO YOU GUY'S THINK? IS THERE MORE TO TAYO'S LIFE THAN WE ALREADY KNOW? WHAT COULD HIS PAST BE ABOUT?
AND DO YOU THINK HE WOULD FINALLY GIVE UP ON PINK?
DO YOU THINK HIS GRANNY WAS RIGHT WHEN SHE SAID HE SHOULD JUST MOVE ON?
I'M CURIOUS GUY'S, FEEL FREE TO DROP YOUR THEORY HERE➡️
ALSO THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TAYO POV FOR SOMETIME. AND WHO NOTICED THAT I'M LITERALLY WRITING TWO STORIES IN ONE?😂😂😂
AND APART FROM TOLAS CHARACTERS SHOW TALK 🌺 I'MMA BE DOING A SPECIAL SEGMENT CALLED BOOK RECOMMENDATION; WHEREBY I RECOMMEND REALLY GOOD BOOKS.
BOOK RECOMMENDATION: BREAKING THOSE SHADOWS BY TomiGrace_xx - I'm sure if you love teen fiction, you'd surely love this one. The storyline is really nice and party can guarantee that you wouldn't get bored along the way with the thrilling and funny character. Though you might hate on the main character, but that's what surely makes the whole story interesanté, because oyinda is my favorite character. And I'm so sure Shazia would steal your heart, her cute and nice demeanor is what would remind everyone about the good people on Earth, while Noel would keep on acting like the Royal idiot he is😂😂. Anyways give this story a try and you'd love it. Ciao adios.
Tankyu so much Wattpadis 🌺
NEXT UPDATE; In the next couple of minutes or hours In shaa Allah 🌺
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺