-Jung Hoseok.
Namjoon looked at me, i looked back at him and gave him a soft smile. He quickly turned his head and walked away.
I felt a sharp sting, my heart.. it.. hurts...
I sighed, and lowered my head.
"I'm sorry guys, i need some time right now, could u please leave for a bit? I'll be okay!" I said softly, while grinning.
Binnie looked worried, but nodded at me while giving me a pat on the head. I couldn't help but crack a small smile at him. I looked at their backs as they walked away, and laid down on the bench to look at the sky.
It calms me, to look at the clouds softly move around the big blue sky. It feels like ur standing still, but the world is going on and on. It's peaceful even for just a little bit. I let my arm rest on my forehead, and breathed in and out a few times.
Suddenly my eyes got watery. I couldn't help but just to let the tears flow. The crying wouldn't stop, but maybe that was for the best. My frustrations kept growing, and my heart kept getting heavier.
When will the pain stop? Will it really ever go away? I dont believe that. I can't at this point. It never fucking ends. Im so tired of this bullshit. When does it end, when?
I sit up, cheeks red, eyes puffy and tears still flowing. I grab a cig and take a few deep puffs. I blow them out into the sky, looking at the clouds once again. I chuckle at myself acting dramatic like im in some movie, and smoke further while now looking at the surroundings. The big green tree in front of me, it's leaves slowly falling down onto the big grass field. The purple flowers in front of me, with some white flowers in there too. Then i hear the sounds of a plane.
Mhmm.. isn't it peaceful right now? I just want to be nothing, enjoying the world.