Aromas of ash and woodsmoke warmed my senses as a heavy log was tossed into the crackling fire. A pyrotechnic burst of sparks flew up around the abyssal timber, swirling up into the air like fireflies dancing around an overgrown midsummer field. The bright orange flames rose with newfound fury, casting away the darkness with their ambery light. I sat on one of Valarenrik's monstrous legs, comfortably curled into his chest with my legs dangling between his thighs, laughing and telling terrible jokes with all the others.
"Alright, alright, I have another." Valarendrik joyfully said with a laugh, holding up his palm to silence all the garbled chortling going on around us. "Why don't skeletons ever get upset?"
"Because they're dead!" A man named Miguel answered with a heavy Hispanic accent.
"No, not quite..." A big dorky grin lit up Valarendrik's face as if he literally couldn't contain his effervescent eagerness to tell the joke. "Because nothing ever gets under their skin!" An uproar of jubilant laughter immediately filled the large ruinous room. His chest happily vibrated against my cheek as we laughed together, his arm gently tightening around my waist.
The whole caboodle of human-tenverian-whatchamacallthems had joined to watch the flames ignite and take part in the community meal. They were overjoyed by the idea of eating cooked food again. Some had danced with joy across the fractured stone floor like lost spirits twirling around long-forgotten sepulchers. Others casually chatted while feasting on the fruit and meat provided. Genuine happiness and laughter abounded all around, with mirth filling their forsaken souls just from being around light again.
"Okay, I have a joke." A sly toothy grin stretched across Jayden's face as he slightly held his plate up with one hand. "Why do the French eat snails?" A few ponderous murmurs followed, but no one attempted to guess. "Because they don't like fast food!" A bunch of laughter resounded over the crackling of flames, while Valarendrik creased in brows in confusion.
"Well, what about french fries? They're fast food." Oliver facetiously retorted with a cheeky smirk while bouncing Rosalie on his knee, the firelight flickering over their pale faces as they sat nearby on a stone.
"Yeah, Jayden. What about french fries?" Maribel playfully smacked his upper arm, causing him to wince away. "Your joke is trash."
"Well in my defense, French fries aren't even French." He grumbled with a smile then took another bite of his food.
I giggled at their antics, snuggling closer against Valarendrik. He wasn't really laughing at Jayden's joke. No doubt because there was simply no way he could understand it. And as lousy as all the jokes had been, I couldn't help but internally frown, knowing that he would have genuinely loved the earth-specific ones if he knew what they meant.
A silent purr vibrated in his chest while I lazily twirled a lock of his soft hair, watching how swirling shadows wisped out from the lustrous strands like a black mist. A loving smile graced my lips as I absentmindedly listened to him happily chit-chatting with the others. He was truly elated to be here. And it was strange, but I could almost feel his joy as though it were my own. He'd even disclosed to me in private how excited he was to have so many new friends, and how he never would have been able to fathom such a thing before all this.
...I suppose that's expected from someone who's been confined in a castle, then isolated in the forest all their life.
A sleepy yawn snuck up on me, catching Maribel's attention. "Tired already?" She quirked a brow. Her inquisitive crimson eyes appeared to glow as they reflected the light.
"Yeah, I suppose I am." I said with a soft giggle, tucking a golden lock of hair behind my ear. "There seems to be something about this area that's been making me drowsy."
The firelight brightly flickered across her youthful-looking slate grey face as she frowned, assessing me like the caring grandmother I knew she was. "Have you been eating enough?"
"Oh, definitely. I've practically been eating more fruit than Sagacor!" I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb towards the gluttonous undead stallion, just as he snuck a caedis fruit from some poor unsuspecting person's plate.
She tapped her chin with a claw and hummed in thought, a suspicious gleam twinkling in her gaze as it shifted between Valarendrik and me. "Hmm, child, your body needs more than just fruit. I'll bet you'd feel much better if you had some meat." She pointed to the ridiculously unappetizing remains of the three-eyed undead deer-like creature Oliver had killed.
The dilapidated carcass had been subjected to brutal desquamation, but I could still see the long sharp quills jutting up from its spine and the fearsomely gnarled antlers protruding from its skull. A glistening puddle of black blood pooled on the cracked stone floor around its dark grey body, with hunks of dark red meat exposed where it had been cut into.
...Yuck.
Valarendrik, who had been very blatantly eavesdropping, thoughtfully glanced between me and the carcass a few times, while I tried to mask my repulsion. "Oh, um, I don't know. It seems a bit odd and unnatural for me to eat abyss meat, don't you think? My body is human, after all."
Her ponytail of tight ringlets bounced as she shrugged. "It's still protein. I'll bet you're needing better nutrition."
"I think she has a good point." Valarendrik said while caressing up and down my arm with his sharp claws. "There was much more variety for you to eat back in the forest. Here you've had nothing but fruit." His expression became extremely serious as he looked down at me. "I do not want you to become ill."
"Well, I probably will get sick if I eat a freaking zombie deer!" I waved my hand towards the disgusting thing. I felt my mood swinging hard, a wave of anger suddenly crashing over me for no apparent reason. Although, I tried not to let it show and reeled my whacky emotions back in to get a grip on myself.
Valarendrik's crown gently twitched as he carefully inspected my face with a slight frown, noticing my secret mood swing. "Would you try a small piece if it were cooked?"
"I can give you the piece that I just cooked." Oliver kindly offered while holding up a small plate. "It was for Rosalie, but she doesn't seem hungry anymore, having already eaten two servings and all." He chuckled while hugging the smiling girl a bit tighter with his free arm.
"Thank you, Oliver." Valarendrik kindly replied, not even waiting to hear my answer. A few black tendrils of shadows slithered through the air and wrapped around the plate, then carried it back to us. He grabbed the plate from the swirling darkness and held it in front of me with a wide caring smile. "Here, you should at least try it."
"Um..." I stared at it with a wide-eyed look of poorly hidden disgust. The slab of dark red meat was oozing thick black blood onto the rough stone plate and smelt like a roasted squid. "I don't kno-" Something felt like it twisted within my stomach and an unexpected ravenous sensation replaced my reluctance. It was like a switch had been flipped, making me crave the meat with strange desperation and bloodlust. "Well okay, I guess I'll try it." I hastily grabbed the chunk of bloody flesh with my bare hands, not even bothering to cut it up, and began tearing it apart with my teeth like a starving animal.
...What the hell am I doing!? And why can't I seem to stop myself!?
"Ah, you see, you must need the nutrients." Valarendrik thoughtfully mentioned while happily watching me feast like a flesh-hungry grue. "I shall put more on the fire for you."
More shadows swirled across the room, enwreathing a bloody chunk of the deer and carrying it over to the fire. The meat sizzled as it made contact with the hot stone, with a cloud of steam puffing up around it. Oliver curiously tilted his head, watching as Valarendrik's shadows dissipated into thin air.
"You said that your shadows are a trait you inherited from your father. Is he a wizard or something?" Oliver nonchalantly asked with a friendly smile.
The crown twitched and Valarendrik slightly stiffened. I too froze in place, shifting my eyes around with my tongue awkwardly pressed against the plate mid-lick, as I lapped up the remaining blood like an unladylike freak. "Um, no. He was not a sorcerer. Just a very powerful man." Valarendrik's gaze flickered down to his boots as he spoke.
"They're pretty cool." Jayden added while placing his plate on the floor beside him, creating a soft clank. "Did you get that headdress thing from him too?" He casually pointed to the crown.
I could tell that Valarendrik was quickly becoming uncomfortable with being asked such things in front of everyone, but he hid it well. "It's not a headdress. It is a part of my skull." He absentmindedly answered while flipping the slice of meat with his shadows, making a sizzling hiss echo throughout the room.
"Huh." Jayden slightly bounced his head, looking intrigued while staring over at the crown. "So those are like horns or something then?"
I reached up and ran my fingertips along the bones in a loving caress, trying to make Valarendrik feel a bit more comfortable. He was very self-conscious about his crown, and after learning its dark origin I knew it was a topic he certainly didn't want to be talking about. So I decided to swoop in like a dutiful albatross and save him from having this unwanted conversation.
"It's called a crown, and the bones move with his emotions." I smiled while tucking a lock of shadowy hair behind his ear. "It's something that's unique to the abyss, I suppose. Sort of like all the zombie creatures and whispering trees. I mean, what's up with those? Right?" An awkward laugh spurtled from my lips as I tried to inconspicuously change the topic.
Maribel hummed while shaking her head. "Oh, you know it. Who would have thought we'd all be reborn in a world full of alien zombies?"
"That reminds me, you had mentioned earlier that you used to be rotted like the other natives." Oliver said to Valarendrik while slipping Rosalie from his lap, letting her run off to go play. "I'm curious how you managed to look alive again?"
"Oh, I was born with my rot. Tenverians are birthed from dead wombs, entering this world in a permanent state of undying death and decay." His shadows carried the freshly cooked piece of meat over to my plate and plopped it down. I immediately began devouring it like a savage. "It was my friend Azathoth who used his demonic power to heal my decay. It's all superficial though. I'm still undead, unfortunately." He sighed forlornly as he added that last part.
My teeth tore through the meat as I thoughtfully glanced up at him, trying to imagine what he must have once looked like. I knew full well that he was undead, yet I'd always thought of it in a sexy vampire type of way. It was almost incomprehensible to think that he'd once been undead in a rotting zombie type of way. He was much too gentle and kind-hearted to have deserved being born into such a life.
"Yo, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you're friends with a literal motherfucking demon." Jayden lovingly wrapped his arm around Maribel's shoulders as he spoke.
"Watch your mouth, young man!" Maribel angrily scolded him, despite the fact that I'd heard her swear on numerous occasions.
"Sorry." He held up a hand defensively, then turned his attention back to Valarendrik. "I've never seen a real demon before, but they must be pretty cool looking."
Valarendrik softly laughed while nodding in agreement. "I wouldn't imagine you had. As far as I know, he's the only demon who visits the abyss, and he never comes to this area. And yes, he is quite unusual looking, with glowing golden eyes and large spiky wings. He has these two twin horns protruding from his head that he thinks makes him look ferocious, but I think they look rather silly..." I slowly lowered the meat back down to my plate while Valarendrik continued to talk about Azathoth, trying to comprehend what he had just said.
...The demon never comes to this area? The same demon who's supposed to be bringing me home?
My gaze shifted up to his smiling face as he continued to chat with Jayden, and a well of confusion and doubt bubbled up in my soul. My heart began to pound and my hands became all clammy, as I tried to think of a good reason why he'd take me here knowing that the demon was unlikely to show.
Could he be deliberately trying to keep me trapped in this world?
My stomach churned with a wave of nausea at the thought. The meat suddenly lost its flavor, but I forced myself to finish the last bite regardless. I had put all my faith in him to protect me and help me return home. Now my impression of him being a good man was swiftly shattering. A sense of betrayal spread through my heart, and I suddenly just wanted to get away from everyone. I wanted to go home.
"I think I need to go to bed." I spoke with a soft quiver, trying to hide the emotion in my voice.
Valarendrik immediately swooped me up bridal style, using his shadows to take care of the plate and retrieve the lantern. "Yes, of course." He lovingly kissed my forehead while I kept my gaze lowered to the floor, listlessly taking the lantern from him. "We shall return once she awakens." He stated to the others with a friendly smile. After exchanging a bunch of quick goodbyes, he began carrying me out of the room.
The glowing lantern creaked as it eerily swayed in my hand and his footsteps softly echoed through the empty hall. My heart thundered in my chest and a whirling tempest of emotions began brewing inside of me. I didn't want to believe that my sweet and loving prince would do such a thing. That he would deceive me to keep me confined here.
"So, what are french fries?" He curiously asked, clearly just trying to break the silence between us. My lower lip trembled and tears began to unwittingly trickle down my cheeks in response. His footsteps paused and a look of deep concern and distress fell upon his face. "Lucilia? What is wrong? Why are you upset?"
I softly bit my knuckle and squeezed my eyes shut as sobs began to wrack my chest. He started to glide with his shadows instead of walk, moving us at a jarring speed as he floated up the stairs. It felt like my world was crumbling around me as shadows flung our bedroom door wide open, then gently shut it behind us. The dilapidated bed crinkled as he sat down, lovingly cradling my limp sobbing self.
"Shhh..." He gently shushed while tenderly wiping my tears away. Shadows swirled all around my body in an attempt at a comforting caress, only making me cry all the harder. "I am here for you, and I am ready to listen when you are ready to speak."
A few moments passed before I finally calmed down enough to talk. It was unlike me to become this emotional over mere speculation, and I rationally knew that I was overreacting, but I just couldn't seem to help it. "What did you mean when you said that the demon never comes here?" My voice quavered as I whispered my question.
His body stiffened and a mixture of shock and guilt flashed across his face. The crown began twitching wildly upon his head, with apprehension filling his crimson eyes. "I meant that he has no need to come to this area. He only comes to the abyss to see me, and I am rarely ever here because of its close proximity to Tenveriel." He glanced away from me as he spoke, which revealed more about his answer than what he'd said.
A powerful and unexpected wave of fury crashed over me, filling my heart with anger which boiled through my veins. He looked downright taken aback as I furiously pushed off of him and stormed across the room. "So he won't come looking for us then, will he!? How long were you just going to keep me here for!?"
The lantern light dimly flickered over his pale worried face while shadows swirled within his wisping hair. "No, he will come looking for me. It will just take him some extra time to find us." He slowly stood back up, gazing at me diffidently across the room.
"And that's why you chose this place, isn't it!?" I snapped like an angry snapping turtle. "You're keeping me away from him so I can't return home, aren't you!?"
He nervously scratched the back of his head while glancing downward. "Not exactly- Well, maybe sort of..." He looked back up at me, brows pinched with concern. "I will not prevent you from leaving if that is what you wish. But I thought that maybe if we had some extra time together and if we were intimate and created the love thing that-"
"Oh my god! You've been trying to seduce me into staying here!? Haven't You!?" I accosted while pointing my finger at his large shadowy frame.
Panic filled his gaze as it shifted back and forth between my eyes. He began to hover upon his whirling shadows, making him look like a malevolent spirit here to take my soul away. "No! That was not my intention. I-I..." He gripped his head in confusion as if he himself wasn't even convinced that that wasn't what he was doing. "It's just not like that!"
"Then what is it like!? Because it sounds to me like you've been trying to fuck me to your will while avoiding your demon friend!" I began full-on raging like a maniac. Somewhere in the logical part of my mind, I knew that I should listen to him before making all of my accusations, but my emotions were all out of whack and flying through the roof. Never had I lost my cool like this before, but I just couldn't help it. "You're not trying to protect me! You're trying to imprison me!"
With an enraged screech that could put most of the harrowing creatures in this world to shame, I psychotically wrapped my hands around the edge of the desk and tried to flip it in a fit of blind rage. It was too heavy and didn't even budge an inch.
"Here, I will help you with that." Valarendrik politely said while gliding over and effortlessly flipped it for me, making it gently land on its side. I huffed and stomped back over to the bed with tears of anger streaming down my face.
"Lucilia, please understand that I am not trying to imprison you. I would never do that." He softly spoke. "I just thought that if we had a little extra time to create love between us, then perhaps you might want to stay."
Indignation burned in the back of my throat. I was beyond infuriated with him. "That is so fucking stupid! Why the fuck would I ever want to stay in the godforsaken abyss!?" I screamed with my face all bright red and tear-streaked.
Immense rejection and hurt filled his eyes, and he staggered back as though I had slapped him. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out like he was dumbstruck, revealing the venom leaking from his fangs. My chest heaved and my lip quivered as I stared over at him, realizing how harsh I had just been.
"Valarendrik, I didn't mean-"
"No, I understand." He interrupted while holding up a hand and swallowing hard. "Why would you ever want to stay?" His forlorn voice was soft and sounded utterly broken. He swiftly wisped out of the room and gently closed the door behind him before I could even respond.
"Valarendrik?" I cried, trying to call him back. My feet quickly padded across the cool stone floor as I hurried over to the weathered door, yanking it back open with a strident creek. "Valarendrik?" I softly called while staring out into the impenetrable darkness of the hallway. "Val?"
My tears flowed down my cheeks like little waterfalls as I dejectedly stood there for a moment, not hearing or seeing anything. I dolorously closed the door, sniffling as I slowly made my way back over to the bed. Guilt gnawed ay my soul as I thought back to the look of hurt in his eyes. I knew that I had every right to be upset, but my outburst had been why over the top, and my words had been far too harsh.
The bed crinkled as I listlessly flopped face-first onto the lumpy mattress, sobbing into the tattered blankets like a pathetic little sap. I would have died long ago if it weren't for his kindness, yet I acted like an irrational bitch to the guy who'd been taking care of and protecting me all this time. I truly didn't understand why I was losing control of my emotions so easily all of a sudden.
...What is wrong with me?
~Valarendrik~
The bitter nails of grief and remorse were brutally hammered into my heart as I silently watched the bedroom door gently close. Although I had stood only a short distance from her while she called out into the darkness for me, I could not find the courage within myself to reply.
Venom leaked from my fangs, and my shadows mournfully swirled around my body like a column of smoke as I noiselessly approached the door. I lifted my hand and lightly placed it against the aged and chipping wood, crumbling to my knees in defeat as the sound of her soft cries met my ears.
...What have I done?
I had been so utterly foolish to think that she would actually want to live in this loathsome world with me. She was never mine and would never be, and I had been delusional to think otherwise. To think that I had a chance at love. I squeezed my eyes shut in immense pain, trying to come to terms with the cruel verity that I wasn't enough to make her want to stay. That I wasn't good enough.
"...You have never been good enough for anything." The crown whispered as a tear streamed down my cheek, leaving a black trail behind. "You're not worthy of her love."
...No, I suppose not... I brokenheartedly agreed.
I stayed by the door and silently wept for a long while. My heart may have been dead and blackened, but the pain blistering inside of it was ineffable. It wasn't until Lucilia's sobs turned into the sound of long even breaths and soft snoring that I managed enough willpower to stand on my feet again.
Ever so carefully, I creaked open the door and soundlessly floated back into the room. My shadows coiled across the floor, suffocating the light of the lantern to veil the room in complete darkness. I didn't want her to see me if she awoke. My claws retracted as I crossed over to the bed, taking in the sight of her slumbering frame. Her face was still tear-streaked but looked peaceful, with her lips slightly parted and her golden hair tumbling around her head. My chest squeezed with sadness at the sight of her.
Slowly, I crouched beside the bed, not daring to touch her despite how badly I wanted to. Her words replayed in my mind like the lashings of a whip, stinging my soul all over again... Had I truly been trying to seduce her to my will? That was never my intention. My love and desire to be intimate were genuine and pure, yet I doubted my integrity when she had phrased it like that.
"...You have done more than just seduced her... You have raped her." The crown darkly cooed.
I stiffened in horror, my claws lengthening as I silently hissed in disgust...No! It was all consensual! I would never do such a terrible thing! I'd never harm her like that!
"Are you sure about that?" The crown eerily tapped me on the head. "Do you really think she would have agreed to be intimate with you if she knew the truth? That you hid the fact that the demon had already come back? ...Face it, you are scum."
The crown's words cast me into a deep pit of self-loathing and despondency. It was right. She would have never agreed to lay with me. The back of my throat burned with repulsion for myself and I began to tremble in agony... No, no, no! I did not mean to! That was never my intention! I only wanted love and companionship! I gripped my writhing hair and shook my head in despair.
"Just imagine how angry she will be when the demon finally finds us and she learns the truth." It softly sniggered. "When she learns what you've done to her... When she sees you for the monster you really are... A manipulative self-serving rapist!"
Dread and panic wracked my very spirit, my soul screaming out in anguish. I distraughtly stared down at Lucilia's beautiful face with black tears streaming down my cheeks. How could I have committed such an atrocity? Surely she could never forgive what I've done. She would leave this world with nothing but hatred for me seething inside of her heart.
How could I ever fix this?
"Take her to Tenveriel..." The crown whispered.
"What?" I softly said under my breath... That is literally the worst thing I could possibly do!
"Think about it... Cerindier has a way to send her back to earth." It wiggled in delight. "Get a necklace from the queen, and our beloved will never have to meet the demon. She will never learn the truth. And she will not hate you, but instead, thank you for sending her home."
I frowned in irritation, hardly believing that it was even suggesting such an idiotic idea at such a dire time... Yeah well, I suppose that would be a great plan and all, except for the fact that my mother and I are on terrible fucking terms! She'll likely kill Lucilia, then throw me in the dungeon!
"She will do no such thing... You have something that she desperately needs..." It tapped my head, then used an outer finger to point to my bag lying safely in the crumbling cobweb adorned corner. "The Ophidian Orb..."
I quirked a brow while frowning over at the bag. "What exactly are you saying?"
"Trade the orb for Lucilia's safe return... Cerindier is incessant about being the greatest queen to have ever ruled... And you heard what that general had said... She needs the orb to save the kingdom from the serpent... She'd do anything to not see it destroyed while under her rule." The crown twitched and wiggled, its soft clicks echoing through the mostly empty room.
...So I go to Tenveriel, trade the orb for a necklace, then bring it back here and send her home?
"No!" The crown firmly replied, making me wince at the shrill tone. "She could be killed while you are away... You must take her with you!"
I don't think taking her to Tenveriel is a good idea... At all.
"You didn't think that coming here would be a good idea either, yet look what happened?" The crown sighed in exasperation. "Would you rather wait around for that demon to bumble on over and expose what you've done? What a monster you are? Or would you rather redeem yourself in the eyes of our beloved? ...Have some faith in me. I love her too, after all."
I stared down at Lucilia, taking in her beautiful otherworldly features and exotic colorations. As I gazed at her lush pink lips, the thought of never kissing them again crushed my heart and filled me with anguish. I realized that even if I had been completely truthful, I would have lost her anyway. She would have already left with Azathoth. I never even had a chance. I only prolonged my illusion of hope by keeping her here, deceiving and hurting her as I did so. And now I had to make it right.
"Redeem yourself..." The crown cooed.
I sucked in a pointless breath, a fresh wave of tears pouring from my eyes. My shadows swirled over to my bag, retrieving the wrapped-up orb hidden within it. My hands trembled as I took hold of it, trepidation filling my soul over what I had to do. After one last long wistful glance at my lover, I stood up and walked out onto the balcony.
The cold wind whipped through my hair as I gazed toward Tenveriel, and bile rose into the back of my throat. My claws scraped the stone railing as I leapt over the edge, dropping several stories to the ashen ground below. A cloud puffed up around my boots while I lifted my hood over my head and began walking toward the jagged ocean stones.
First I was going to hide the orb...
After that, I would be introducing Lucilia to my mother.