CLEMMY
16 YEARS OLD
Morning sickness sucks. Mostly because it isn’t morning sickness. It is all morning, afternoon, and evening sickness. What is even worst is that I still haven’t told anybody that I’m pregnant and trying to hide my adverse reaction to 75% of foods is really difficult. I think that my sister might be catching onto something, but she hasn’t said anything yet. We share a Jack and Jill bathroom, so I know she has heard me, even though she doesn’t say anything.
Thankfully, it is still summertime and I’m able to spend most of my days outside of the house. Sometimes that is just hanging around the lake or spending time in Grandma’s garden, but today I decided to head into town and see if anywhere was hiring. My dad would have an aneurysm if he knew I was looking for a job. He doesn’t spoil Prue and me, but he wants us to really focus on school and not getting a job. He says that we have our entire lives to work and be adults. Little does he know that the adult part is going to come sooner than later.
After driving around to a handful of places and getting applications, I find myself traveling aimlessly. I can’t help but to think about the shitty situation that I am in and I know that eventually, I’m going to have to tell somebody, everybody. My dad included.
My driving landed me in front of my cousin Miles’s place. I have no idea why, the odds of him being here are slim to none because I don’t see his car, but maybe that isn’t a bad idea. His fiance Ember would be home and for some reason, I had a gut feeling that I needed to tell her. I could trust her and she could be somebody that would have my back.
I park my car in front of their house and make my way up to their cute little suburban home. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and then ring the doorbell. It doesn’t take long for Ember to swing the door open. I can tell that she’s surprised to see me and she’s already trying to read me to see what is going on.
“Hi, Ember. I’m sorry, but are you busy?” My hands are shaking, but I’m trying to hide it by clasping them together.
“Don’t be sorry, come on in, hon.” she stepped aside and I walked inside and put my stuff down on the front table. She motioned for me to go to the living room and I walked that way but stopped to face her before sitting down.
“Is Miles here?”
She shakes her head. “No, he left for dinner at your Grandma’s already. Are you okay? Did you need him?”
“I don’t know what I need. I was in town and I didn’t know where else to go and I thought maybe it would be okay if I came here.”
“Of course. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll grab you a bottle of water?”
I nod and take a seat on the couch. Ember heads into their kitchen and I spent the entire time she’s gone second-guessing even being here. The thought crosses my mind to get up and leave, but just then she comes back into the room with a plate of small sandwiches and a bottle of water for both of us.
“Thank you,” I say through a small sniffle, trying to hold back the tears burning behind my eyes. She takes a seat next to me, but she doesn’t say anything. We kind of just sit in silence for some time. I can tell that she is waiting for me to make the first comment, but I don’t even know what to say. I reach down and grab one of the sandwiches, taking a small bite. Something tastes off, so I put the plate down. “What’s in this?”
“It is ham salad, so minced up ham, mayo, relish….” she was in the middle of listing the ingredients, but I didn’t hear a word past mayo. I stood up and bolted down the hallway and into the bathroom. I closed the bathroom door and started throwing up. Mayo was one of those foods that I just couldn’t handle. Perhaps it was psychological, but just hearing the word sent my stomach into a state of revolt.
The bathroom door opens and without saying anything. I finally stop throwing up and sit back against the tub, attempting to catch my breath. Ember crouches down next to me and puts a moistened washcloth on the back of my neck. I open my eyes slightly and see Ember’s friend Stef and my cousin Lyle’s wife Harlow standing in the doorway too.
“Clemmy, sweetheart….”
I could tell by the way she said my name that she knew what was going on. Before she had the chance to ask her question, I blurted the answer out. “I’m pregnant.”
Ember pulls me against her chest and the flood gates open. I sob into her chest. I cry for being pregnant at sixteen. For Robbie being an asshole. For his parents not wanting to help me. For my future. Stef and Harlow also got down on the floor as well and attempt to comfort me.
“Is it Robbie’s?” Stef asked.
I nod my head and begin talking through my sobbing. “I’m pregnant with his baby and he completely ghosted me. The email he gave me bounces back and the phone number for video chatting is disconnected. I don’t know what I did, he doesn’t want me and I’m pregnant with his baby.”
Harlow rubs my leg to comfort me. “Did you try talking to any of his friends? Maybe he had to get a new number or something.”
I shake my head, “No. I went to his parent’s house and I asked his mom and dad. They said that he was moving on and not interested in little girls. I told them that I was pregnant and his mom just laughed at me and slammed the door.”
“That fucking…” Stef begins, but she doesn’t finish the sentence.
“Hey Clemmy,” Harlow lowers her voice to a sweet whisper and I look up at her through the tears. “I know this is going to be hard, but I promise you won’t go through anything alone. In fact, we’ll do this together, because I’m pregnant too.”
For just a moment, I wasn’t in a complete state of depression. Lyle and Harlow are going to make great parents and I’m so happy for my cousin and Harlow. The moment of happiness doesn’t last long though and the crashing reality comes down on me once again. I take Harlow’s hand in mine and squeeze it. “Will you come with me when I tell my parents?”
“Of course, I will, Clemmy.” Harlow looked to Stef, Ember, and back to me, “In fact, we’ll all be there with you.”
“Agreed,” Stef says, “and whatever you need, you can always call on us. Welcome to the group, sweetheart. We’ve got your back.”
-----
With Ember, Harlow, and Stef right behind me. I walked into my parent’s house two days later to find my mom in the kitchen with my little brother, Porter. She gave us all a smile as she looked up from her work on the counter.
“Well, this is a surprise! Come on in, girls.”
“Hi, Brielle. Whatever you are baking smells amazing!” Harlow commented that made my mom happy, a smile spreading across her entire face.
“I was just making some banana bread, have some overripe bananas and didn’t want them to go to waste. Would you girls like a slice?”
The other three look at me, but I shake my head. “Uh, no. I think we’re good. Is Daddy home yet?”
“Sure he is, he’s downstairs watching TV.”
“Do you think that maybe I could talk to the two of you?” I asked, my nerves beginning to get the best of me.
My mom nodded her head and whispered something into Porter’s ear. He grabbed his plate and left the kitchen, probably heading up to his bedroom. “Let’s go get your dad.”
My mom leads up downstairs where my dad is sitting on the couch, flipping through stations. He smiles when he sees us and stands up to greet us. He wraps his arms around my mom’s waist and gives her a kiss. A lot of kids may have found their parents’ constant PDA gross, but I always loved that even after all these years and all us kids, my parents still loved each other and weren’t afraid to show it.
I wanted that for my future. I wanted a man that I could grow old with, but that spark would never die. They say that a girl learns what a man should be like based on how her daddy treats her, if that was true, Prue and I were going to end up with the most amazing men ever because I know for a fact I would never settle for less than my dad.
“What do I owe this pleasure of all you beautiful women?” That was my dad, the forever flirt.
“Hey, sweetie. Clemmy said she’d like to talk to us about something.”
“Oh, okay. Is everything okay, honey?”
“Um….uh huh I guess.”
Harlow takes my hand and walks me over to the couch where I sit down. Ember sits next to me and Stef rests on the arm of the couch. My dad sits back down and my mom sits on the arm next to him. Dad leans forward a bit, resting her forearms on his knees.
“You look freaked out, Clemmy. Whatever it going on, you know you can tell your mom and me.”
I nod my head, “I know.”
“You’re starting to scare me, honey.” Mom looks at me with so much concern that it almost breaks my heart all over again. I close my eyes, trying to will the tears away. I’ve cried so much since finding out about the pregnancy, I just didn’t want to cry anymore.
I feel a soft hand on my shoulder from Ember and Harlow squeezes my hand tightly. I open my eyes and look up at my parents and just rip off the band-aid right away. “I’m pregnant,” I said in a soft whisper.
Both my parents sat up taller and with a harsh voice, my dad spoke up first, “What did you say?”
“I’m so sorry, Daddy.” I begin to sob again and Ember pulls me closer to soothe my tears, but she’s not the touch that I want.
“No.” That was all he said as he quickly rose to his feet.
“Daddy, please!” I stood up and went after him. I grabbed his arm and he swung around quickly and pulled his arm away from me.
“I told you!” He points a finger at my mom.
“Mitch, you need to calm down,” my mom tried to placate him.
“Do not tell me what to do. I told you, didn’t I? I told you that she was too young to date an eighteen year old and she was going to end up pregnant. You swore that wouldn’t happen. You said he was a good boy. I fucking told you, Brie!”
“Mitchell Alexander, you better watch how you speak to me and your daughter right now.” My mom put her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I was sobbing into her chest as she ran her fingers through my hair. “Shh, it’s okay sweetheart.”
“It is NOT okay, do not lie to her Brielle. I swear to God I’m going to kill that fucking guy.”
Dad starts to storm off, he gets two steps up when I scream at him, “Good luck finding him. I can’t even get in touch with him.”
“What?” My mom pulled me away from her and looked down at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Robbie’s email address and phone don’t work anymore. I don’t know where he is. He doesn’t know and I don’t know what to do.”
“Don’t you have an address or something?” My dad finally asked, but I shook my head.
“No, he said he was going to be moving around so often that it was pointless. I’m sorry, Daddy. Please forgive me.”
I looked at my dad and saw the pain in his eyes. I just wanted him to soften his jawline and open his arms so I could run over and get a huge hug from him. That didn’t happen though. His eyes glanced to my mom and back to me and then he turned around and walked upstairs without another word. My legs gave out and I fell to the ground, only to be caught and held by my mom. She rubbed my back and attempted to soothe me through her own tears.
Even my own dad hated me now.