Remember your worth it and that your not alone ♥️
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"No choice? What do you mean?"
Kenji looks at his brother and Kalen wasn't meeting his eye. It's as if he was avoiding him and Kenji wasn't having it. "Tell her. It's your fault we didn't tell her sooner."
"It's not my fault. We were going to tell her together, but you wanted to hold off-"
"Dont put this on me brother. I told you yesterday it was only a matter of time before she found out-"
"I know that but-"
"Can you guys tell me what the fuck is going on already?!" I yell and they both stare at me in silence. "Who fucking cares who said what! I'm at the point where I'm gonna beat the both of you for not telling me such important information!"
"I'm sorry, I'll tell you." Kalen sighs.
"No I will. Remember when I told you when we turned 16, our father told us that we'd take over the company?" Kenji asks and I nod. "That same day, we met Soyoung and Soyun. Our father took us to the company for a birthday dinner, which was unheard of because our father never celebrated birthdays. When we got there, there was another family there, the Lee's. Dinner was awkward and uncomfortable. Especially learning the dinner was a ploy for business." He starts and shakes his head. "We learn that the family we were having dinner with, was the owner of another huge company. Bigger then ours."
"In Korea?" I clarify.
"There and here. They have connections and relationships deep within the police and with politicians. Some people say they even have connections with the black market. They're a very powerful company, and our father wanted to have good ties with the owner."
"The whole point of the dinner was to strengthen their friendship, by selling us on a silver platter." Kalen adds bitterly and I frown.
Kenji nods. "Our father wanted to expand in China, but it was Lee territory. Mr. Lee was trying to find suitable husbands for his daughters, and coincidentally we were around the same age. While our parents talked business, we talked to the girls and they were pretty cool, but we had our eyes on someone else." I'm assuming the girl that hurt them. "We weren't that interested, but the girls were and I'm assuming told their father that night, that they liked us a lot."
"About a week later, our father told us that we'd meet with the girls again and to be nice to them. I didn't understand why, till we met with their family that weekend to learn we were engaged to them. My father already signed the contract without our consent or knowledge." Kenji explains and my eyes widen a bit. "Our father couldn't expand in China till we got married, so Mr. Lee gave him leeway in the States till then. But the whole point was, it sealed our futures set in stone. We'd take over and then get married to the girls. Until then, we could do what we pleased but in reality that wasn't true."
"We didn't mean to hide it from you. At first we didn't see a reason to tell you, but when things started going further and kinda getting serious, it was already too late before we could say anything to you." Kalen informs and I looked at him. "We were suppose to meet with them next week, but they came to see us early."
"But last night-"
"-was amazing and we meant every word Simone." Kenji tells me and I look at my hands.
"If you're engaged where does that leave me?" They didn't say anything and I look at the both of them. "Was I gonna be your little secret forever? You'd get married and what? We'd see each other a few times a year, sneak around till we get bored?" Kalen touches my hand but I pull away. "What was the point of even confessing to me? Or accepting my feelings? We can't be more than what we are now. We can't even be what we are now." I scoff and get off the bed.
"Simone we can still be together-"
"No we can't and you know that. You're about to get married for crying out loud! Dont you get it?!" I shout and Kenji tried to touch me but I move away.
"So what if we get married? It's not like we like them or anything! We want to be with you not them! We can still be something regardless if we're married or not." I shake my head.
"How could you say that?" I ask in disbelief.
"Why? What's the problem?"
"What's the problem? The problem is your asking me to fuck around with married men is the goddamn problem! Just because you're getting married and don't like the girl, doesn't mean you get to ask me to be a home wrecker Kenji! I don't want to be someone's side chick or concubine. You already lied to those girls already, you said you wouldn't sleep with other girls and here you are sleeping with me!"
"Why do you care about how they feel or what we said to them? Of course we lied because we wanted to be with you." Kalen sighs and stands up. "There isn't anything we can do about us marrying them, but we can still see you."
"Not with you taking over your fathers company. You'll be more busy than you are now. He was right, there really is no room for me in your life." I sigh and I watch Kenji pop a blow pop in his mouth.
"Who was right?"
"Your father." The twins tense and look at me in confusion.
"You talked to him? When did you see him? Where and why?" Kenji panics and I back away from him.
"He came to the penthouse a few days ago-"
"And you didn't tell us?!" He yells and I flinch at his tone.
"Because it wasn't important-"
"What do you mean it wasn't important?! He knew you were here and he spoke to you and you didn't tell us? What did you talk about?" Kalen puts a hand on Kenji's shoulder.
"He offered me money-"
"Did you take it?" I scoff and glares up at him.
"I'm still here ain't I? He said he'd give me any amount of money, only if I pack my bags and leave without a word. If I took his money don't you think I'd be in Ohio by now?" Kenji frowns and looks away from me. "You think I'd take the money?"
"Besides that what else did he say to you? What do you mean he was right?" Kalen butts in and I look away from Kenji to him.
"He said that I'd soon learn that you'd hurt me and that you didn't have room for me in your life. That I should cut my losses with you guys before it's too late. So I told him to kiss my ass." I move past them and grab my phone.
"What? You s-said that to him?" Kenji stutters
"What are you doing?" Kalen sighs.
"Booking a flight home." Kalen grabs mr phone and throws it to the side. "What are you doing?!"
"You're not leaving Simone! Stop!" Kalen yells when I try to get my phone again.
"Fuck you! There is no point of me being here anymore! I'm just gonna get hurt, and I refuse to be someones side hoe!" I push him away. "I deserve better than that! I deserve someone who will be mine and only mine! Not someone else's because that isn't who I am. I don't fuck up marriages or relationships, regardless how they were made! I refuse to be someone like my mother, and if I have to let you guys go, the men I love because of my morals, then so fucking be it!" I grab my phone and start looking up flights for Ohio.
"So that's it? You're just gonna leave and never speak to us again?" Kenji spoke and I could hear the hurt in his voice.
"What do you want me to do? What do you want from me? For us to be friends? I can't be that Kenji. I love you guys way too much, but I love myself more. I can't hurt myself more than I already have, by pretending that I didn't have feelings for you, by being selfless instead of selfish. I have to think about myself and my future, and by you asking me to stay and to continue on with whatever this is between us isn't going to work anymore. Believe me when I say I want to, and I really really want to. But I can't. I wanted to believe that I could make this work, that we could possibly be more, but we can't. Our worlds are too different." I sob and book the earliest flight.
"Can't you at least try?" Kalen grabs my arm and I sigh deeply as tears fall.
"I can't. It's not just about me anymore." I mumble.
"Who else is this about then?"
"My unborn child." I tell them and the mood in the room takes a complete 180.
"Your what?" Kalen asks quietly and I wipe a tear.
"I'm pregnant." Kalen pulls his hand away from me and I don't face them. "I've only known for a week and some change. I'll be honest, I wasn't going to tell you till I figured out what I wanted to do. Once I had a plan, I then tell you guys and we'd figure something out."
There was silence for a while, till one of us spoke up. "You're...pregnant?" Kalen asks monotonous and I look at him only for my heart to drop. He looked not only pissed but disappointed. Kalen didn't look happy not one bit, and it made my heart break.
I knew they wouldn't be happy at all. How could these two men, who are about to get married and didn't even want kids in the first place, be happy that a girl who wasn't even their girl friend, is pregnant? Anyone who didn't want kids and all of a sudden is about to be a parent, wouldn't be happy.
I wouldn't blame them or be upset if they didn't want anything to do with me, or the baby. There wasn't room for us in their life anyway. So what's the point of being upset? I'd be disappointed and heart broken if that was how it would be, that I'd be left alone and be a single parent. But if that's what I had to do, then so be it.
It's my fault for getting pregnant, not the baby. It shouldn't be punished for my irresponsible decisions, and I'd hate the thought of giving it up just for my personal benefit. I'm more than capable to take care of the child, I have the money, a place for them to stay, and the stability as well. I was going to take care of this baby, with or without their father.
"I-I don't know what to say." Kenji sighs and rubs his face.
"You don't have to say anything. I'm going home." I mumble and grab my stuff. As I was about to head out the hotel room, a hand grabs my arm and I look back seeing Kenji. He had a blank expression but I could see the pain in his eyes, the fear and anxiety.
"What?"
"Simone I'm sorry. I don't think I'd be a good father." He admits and I smile sadly.
"I don't think I'll be a good mother either. But I'm still going to do it, and I'm going to try my damn hardest to do it." I shrug and he pulls away.
"I don't want to lose you Simone." He says desperately and cups my cheeks. I stare up at him and felt my heart aching as I did. He looked so hurt and I even saw tears in his eyes. I've never seen the twins cry before, I've only heard Kalen cry, but never seen them. But I didn't want to see them cry, it made me feel bad.
I know Alex said that bad bitches don't cry for men, that men cry for bad bitches, but it hurts to see Kenji cry for me. To see him so hurt and upset that I was about to leave them, hurt me more than it was hurting them.
I cried with him as I held his hand and he set his forehead against mine. I then hugged him tightly and he did the same, but I instantly regretted it because I now didn't want to let go. Soon, I felt another pair of arms around me and I sobbed when I knew it was Kalen.
I don't know how long the three of us stayed like that, but it was for a long while. It was then time for me to go before I'd miss my flight. I pulled away from them before giving them a kiss on the cheek. "I gotta go." I mumble and put on my shoes.
"Let us take you. You forgot a bag at our place anyway." Kalen offers and I wanted to resist, but I also wanted to spend a little more time with them.
"Ok."
We head to the twins penthouse and I gather my items. I walked around the place to make sure I had everything, while the twins waited downstairs. As I took one last look at their rooms, I knew I'd miss it. I'd miss sleeping in their beds, cuddled up in their arms. I'd miss just being here period with them, but it was fun while it lasted.
I walked downstairs seeing them talking in hushed tones, before stopping as they realized I was there. We then head out in silence and drive to the airport, not saying a word. I already texted Alexander that I was on my way home, and to be ready to pick me up later in the evening. Alex knew not to ask questions and just said he'd be there when I landed.
Once the twins parked, I got out the car and Kalen helps me with my bags. I thanked him and start heading inside, but he calls my name. I look back seeing him walk up to me and give me another hug. I sigh softly and hug him back, then pull away soon after.
"This isn't goodbye." Kalen tells me and I look up at him with a frown.
"Then what is it?"
"A see you later." He gives me a small smile and I shake my head.
"I won't see you in person, but maybe on tv or something." Kalen shook his head.
"You don't want to call us anymore either? Or FaceTime?" I pinch the bridge of my nose.
"Kalen, it's already hard enough as it is-"
"Your pregnant Simone, I'm going to check up on the mother of my child, or Kenji's child." I stare up at him in disbelief.
"He's right." Kenji walks over and shoves his hands in his pocket. "You're not the only one who made this baby. One of us did, and it's irresponsible of us to not step up to the plate." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"You want to be apart of this?"
"Regardless who's baby it is, we're gonna support you and the baby. It wouldn't be right of us to go our separate ways and leave you with a baby that one of us helped make. Our mother would be disappointed if we didn't." Kenji says and I sigh.
"You know, you're different from when we first met." I point out and he frowns.
"How so?"
"Your just way more...I don't considerate and mature. Before you were cocky and annoying, well your still annoying but in a more tolerable way."
"I had no reason to keep my facade up around you." He shrugs and nod.
I checked the time seeing I had a little bit of time left, but enough to talk to the twins a while longer. I lean against the car and rub my stomach when it starts to churn.
"What's wrong?" Kalen asks worriedly and I chuckle.
"Nothing, just feeling a bit nauseous. But when are you taking over? Next month right?" They nod.
"There's a huge event. It's gonna be a huge party where a bunch of famous and important people come to socialize. I also think it'll be on tv. Our father wants to make the big announcement on the air, while he announces our engagement." I nod slowly and look at the ground.
"Sounds exciting." I mumble. "What channel, so I can watch you guys?" I smile and they shrug.
"We'll let you know." Kenji says.
My flight gets announced and I sigh not really happy that I had to leave. The twins walk me as far as they could, so they wouldn't get spotted by reporter or anyone there. I give them one last hug before grabbing my bags and walking through the parking lot.
Once I got to the door, I look back seeing them still standing there with sad expressions. Kalen waves while Kenji gives me a wink and I wave back before heading inside.
I walked to the gate and handed the lady my ticket before walking onto the plane, and having a seat. It didn't fully sink in that I was going home, till we actually took off and flying high in the sky.
I put my AirPods in as I stared out the window, my tears silently falling. I wasn't going to see the twins anymore and it hurt so badly that it might be a reality. As much as they said they wanted to support me and the baby, I didn't believe it.
They were going to be busy with their business and their wives, and won't have any time for me and our child. I wasn't going to depend on them, I was going to go on with my life and take care of my baby. Not only that, but I'd have to move on from them.
I had to forget about my feelings for them for good this time. I couldn't keep hoping and dreaming that we'd be something, when we weren't anything in the first place. I should've moved on from them last summer. I shouldn't have let Kalen into my apartment when I saw him again, and I definitely shouldn't have asked them to be friends with benefits. I should've let them go when I left California. But no, my stupid heart had to fall for them and I had to want more from them.
Now I was going to be alone and taking care of a child, while struggling in school and getting over people I was deeply in love with.
✈︎ ✈︎ ✈︎ ✈︎ ✈︎ ✈︎ ✈︎ ✈︎
"If you look closely here, you'll see a little jelly bean shape. That would be your baby." The technician points and I stare up at the screen. "Here is a little foot and I see a hand too.."
"Aww it looks like a weird fish." Alexander comments and I glare up at him. "What? It does." He mumbles and I shake my head.
"That's one way of describing the baby." The tech chuckles and moves the wand around on my stomach.
"When can you tell what the gender is?" I ask.
"Once you hit 18-21 weeks. Did you tell your OB if you wanted it to be a surprise?" I nodded.
"My best friend will know the gender before I do." I roll my eyes and he squeals.
"I can't wait either! I'm gonna throw you the best baby shower ever, and it's gonna be so much fun."
Soon my 12 week appointment was over and I was handed the ultrasound pictures. Before Alexander and I head out, I made my next appointment and we decided to get some lunch. I was currently 3 months along and things have been going smoothly. So far.
I was still nauseous, but I luckily found foods that I could eat. I was also starting to get some back pain, and needing to pee a lot. My doctor said it was normal and not to panic, but it wasn't that difficult to get used to. Alexander has been really helpful with everything lately, since he was really excited about the baby.
Even though I was still able to do much on my own, he did it for me including Ryan. Ryan always cooked me meals to make sure I was eating, and eating healthy. My fridge was full of leftover food and ice cream, in case I wanted some. I felt really bad with them doing so much for me, but they wanted to do it so what could I do?
Since I had a spare room, we were already getting it set it for the baby. I personally didn't know what theme I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted it to be gender fluid. Once I learned the gender, I'd add a bit of things for them, but the color of the walls and furniture will be gender fluid.
I had told Tiffany that I was pregnant once I got back home from California, and she was very surprised. Even though she was my friend, I hadn't told her I was still sleeping with the twins. She had a clue that I was still in contact with them, but never had a thought I'd end up pregnant by them.
Since then, she's cut my hours a little even though I didn't want her to, but she insisted so I could have time for school. We were over staffed anyway, and me getting cut 15 hours wasn't a big deal for her. Tiffany didn't ask questions about the twins and I was grateful for her, she was also very supportive.
School was going smoothly so far even though I had anxiety, but I put majority of my energy into school and staying healthy for the baby. When I wasn't working, I was studying or eating and keeping a positive mindset.
I haven't seen the twins since I left, but I have heard from them. I didn't want to talk on the phone, so I only texted them updates about the baby and the baby only. They'd ask if I was eating and doing good in school, and I did answer those questions, but other then that I didn't respond.
I knew it made them upset that I wasn't engaging further, but I had to move on from them and I couldn't get swept up again. I had to focus on myself and not have them on my mind 24/7 like I used to. Heartbreak wasn't easy, it was actually one of the most difficult things I was going through, but I wasn't letting it consume me.
Alexander and Ryan helped distract me, I basically saw them almost everyday. It would've been every single day, but I'd force them to not come over so I could study and relax.
"Where do you wanna go for lunch?" I give him a look and he chuckles. "Chinese it is." He sings and we head to the local restaurant.
Once we got seated, I my phone goes off and I check it see. It was a text from a random number and I frown looking at the message.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
𝙸𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚆𝚊𝚝𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚜?
Me
𝚆𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞.
𝙼𝚢 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝙹𝚊𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛.
Me
𝙸𝚍𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚜, 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛.
Me
𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚖. 𝚂𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚍.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
𝙸𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚝 𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞? 𝙷𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕.
𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎.
I block this number not even wanting to continue the conversation. Then turn my phone off and look through the menu with a sigh. "What's wrong?" Alexander asks and I set my menu down.
"Someone is claiming to be my mom and wants to meet me." I shake my head and he frowns.
"Really? Did she provide proof?"
"No, and even if she did I don't want to meet her." I reply and take a sip of my water once the waiter sets it down.
"Were you ready to order?"
We order our food, a wide variety of things before going back to our conversation. "I don't blame you if you don't want to. But I'm kinda curious as to why she left y'know?"
I shrug. "I don't care." I mumble and look out the window. "Whatever reason it is, it was more important than me."
"Simone you don't know that-"
"She cheated on my father with another married man Al. There is no excuse as to why she left my father, with someone else. But I've survived and lived this long without her, so why do I need to see her for?"
"Closure." I raise a brow at him. "You may deny it but your still hurting. You resent her for leaving you behind, because of everything you went through as a child. Your father had to make difficult decisions, but he did them to survive. While you had to survive on your own majority of the time. I know you want to know why she left and to know if she even cared about you. You act as if you don't, but deep down you do Simone." I look away in frustration, knowing he was right. But I didn't want to admit it.
"Whatever."
"Remember the same thing happened to me. I got my closure and now I'm moving forward. I'm telling you the same thing you told me babe." I didn't say anything.
The rest of lunch goes well after we dropped the whole mom conversation, before heading back to my apartment. After he parks the car, we head up to my place and get settled in. I go to the bathroom and empty my bladder, before heading to my room and changing into more comfortable clothes.
I walk out seeing Alex opening a package and I walk over seeing what it was. He then squeals when he sees what's inside and I roll my eyes heading to the couch. "Ahh! It's the unicorn onesie I got! Simmi look!" He giggles and shows me the colorful onesie for 0-3 month old.
"Please tell me you're not gonna buy only unicorn clothes Al." I complain and he pouts.
"No.." he mumbles and I shake my head. "But it's cute.." I laugh.
"Yes it is very cute. Thank you Ally." He squeals and heads to the baby room to hang it up.
I lay back on the couch and turn on the tv, before getting another text. I sigh deeply wondering why I'm being bothered, but then I see Kalen's name across the screen and I quickly read his text.
Kalen Choi
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚝 𝚐𝚘?
Me
𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐.
Kalen Choi
𝙽𝚘 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎?
Me
Kalen Choi
𝚆𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐
Me
𝙻𝚘𝚕 𝚢𝚞𝚙.
Kalen Choi
𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢? 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕?
Me
𝙷𝚊𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚎, 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎. 𝙸𝚖 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚋𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚕
Kalen Choi
𝙾𝚔..
𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝟼, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘 𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚋𝚢 𝟽. 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚕 𝟷𝟸
Me
👌🏾
Kalen Choi
𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 ♥️
I turn my phone off after that and set it to the side. Why would he put a heart emoji? Sometimes I really wished they'd understand how hard it is for me to move on. Both of them do little things like that, or leave voice memos calling me pet names and saying sweet things. It makes my heart race and ache at the same time, and I hate them for it. It's like they won't give up and act as if we'd see each other again.
We were never going to see each other again, and soon they'd understand that.
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Yeah I didn't plan for any of that. But that's just how the chapter played out.
Lmk what you think. Bye!