CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, DRUGS, & ANGST
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I writhed beneath my bedsheets, panting heavily as my eyes screwed shut with discomfort. Nothing felt right; everything felt unnerving and out of place. With a startled gasp, I sat bolt upright, staring forward with wide eyes as my breathing stalled, my heart pounding dangerously fast against my chest. Before I had the chance to curl forward, a bright blue tub was placed in front of me, a small, pale hand grasping the side as something rubbed soothingly up and down my back. An unsettling pain lingered in the center of my stomach, a groan slipping from my lips as I instinctively leaned over the tub. I felt as if I'd done this repeatedly already, but that thought quickly subsided as a searing pain jabbed at my temples. This wasn't how I wanted my morning to unfold, but after last night what did I expect?
Last night. What even happened last night? All I could remember was dragging myself inside after matching Rachel's address with the one in the Bentley's navigator, only to collapse against the fridge in search of something to drink. Alcohol. I'd drank my pain away and like the stupid girl I was I'd ended up getting caught. Everything was a blur after that.
"Just breath, angel."
I immediately recognized Jimin's voice beside me, his hand brushing against the front of my head to push my hair from my face. A whimper escaped my trembling lips, rapid pants forcing themselves from the depths of my chest as I tried to push past the lingering pain in my head and stomach. "Jimin," was all I could groan, lowering my head until it rested inside the blue tub.
"Oh, baby no." Something smelled awful beneath my nose, Jimin releasing my hair to push gently against my shoulder. He sat me upright, a moan slipping past my lips as a burst of pain flashed through my head. The blonde gently stroked the sides of my face, cupping my chin to inspect me carefully before going back to rubbing soothing circles against my back. "It's okay, angel. Just sit still for me, okay? You'll be fine."
"Jimin." I felt so pathetic, my words coming out as strangled whimpers as tears sprang up in my eyes, cascading down my fiery cheeks and dripping onto my thighs. A mess was what I was, and a pathetic one at that. I must've blacked out sometime last night because I couldn't remember much well after midnight, but somehow I had ended up in Jimin's bed with the blonde at my side, sunlight peeking in through the blinds behind us.
"Shh, shh. It's okay, baby." I felt the mattress shift beneath me as Jimin leaned over the edge of his bed to grab his phone off his nightstand. One hand still on the small of my back, he used his free hand to type out a quick text before dropping his phone and folding me awkwardly in his embrace.
Almost immediately, I felt completely safe, shielded from the intrusive thoughts that threatened to overflow in my mind. I threw my arms around his torso, burying my face in the crook of Jimin's neck and breathing in the familiarity of his presence. My tears dampened the collar of his shirt, but his skin radiated with heat from beneath. Eyes shut, I rolled myself forward until I was seated between his legs, curled up against his chest as I began to cry uncontrollably.
"Jungkook," I whimpered, not caring if the blonde could hear. I didn't know if I had told him what I'd found the prior night, but at that moment I couldn't care less. I was hurting all over, and this time I wanted everyone to know that I was coming close to my final straw. If I held it in any longer I would completely fall apart.
The bedroom door creaked open, the light pitter-patter of footsteps making their way to the bedside. Jimin scolded someone softly under his breath, quiet panting sounding from close to the floor. I cracked my eyes open to find Nari peering up at me with the same piercing blue eyes that I had looked into last night before making my way to the garage. The last pair of eyes I'd looked into before everything I had grasped onto fell apart at my hands. Just the thought made me cry even harder, turning to hide away in the crook of Jimin's neck as his arms tightened around my backside. Beyond the feeling of him wrapped securely around me, I could feel another hand begin to gently rub my back, tingles of fear rippling across my skin. Flinching shy of their touch, I glanced up to find Yoongi peering down at me with soft, caring eyes. His gaze made me feel at home; he'd been my lifeline for so many years and he was still around to this day, but while knowing that I had lost Jungkook, I felt that I was losing him as well.
"Hey," Yoongi whispered softly, drawing his hand up my neck to cup the side of my face. "Angel, it's okay. We're right here, just tell us what's wrong, please?"
I tried to hold in my sobs but ended up choking instead, coughing and sniffling all at once as my tears splattered on Jimin's clothes. If I stopped crying I would most likely end up having to tell the others what I had found, if I hadn't already, and explain my reason for crying so much. I must look like such a mess.
Finally, I had managed to collect myself, reduced to rapid pants and tremors that wracked my whole body. Jimin pressed feather-light kisses against the top of my head, sending warm streaks down my spine as I stared up at Yoongi with wide eyes. A soft smile adorned his face but I could see the concern clouding his eyes. Out of pure shame, I turned away, hiding my face against Jimin's chest with a distressed moan.
"Aw, do you not wanna look at me baby?" the brunet chuckled half-heartedly, a shaky sigh escaping him.
It hurt my heart to hear his voice wobble as he spoke but he was trying so hard to hide it from me. More tears slipped from the corners of my eyes, turning Jimin's once white tee a dull, depressing grey under my head. It wasn't that I didn't want to face him; I just didn't want the others to find out about Rachel.
"Hyung, maybe we should just let her rest," Jimin muttered listlessly, shifting his hand so that it clasped the front of my stomach. His touch settled the throbbing in my abdomen but not completely.
"Yeah..."
I felt something nudge my arm, cracking my eyes open to find Yoongi still leaning close, this time with a water bottle extended in his hand. He urged it forward until I took it, patting my hand in reassurance before standing to his full height.
"Try and finish the bottle, angel. You drank a lot last night; you're probably dehydrated."
He was right. I hadn't noticed it amongst the pain in my head and stomach, but my tongue was as dry and swollen as cotton and I could only assume the same color. Disgusted with myself, I used my teeth to unscrew the cap before nursing the bottle to my lips, my eyes falling shut with exhaustion. How much had I drunk last night? I could only remember stumbling about to get two bottles, but by the way I felt today, I knew I'd drunk well over that. I sipped the water slowly, my mouth no longer dry and the throbbing in my head subsiding to a dull thump thump thump.
"I'm going to go check on, uh... them. You're gonna stay with her?"
A reply rumbled deep in Jimin's chest, Yoongi slowly exiting the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. My eyes flicked open, staring out into the quiet bedroom. I watched Nari circle around the carpet before dropping to her stomach, her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth as she blinked up at nothing specific.
"Jimin?"
"Yeah, angel?"
I sniffed a few tears away, clearing my nose as I muttered a quick, "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry about."
"But-"
"Shh." The blonde ran his hand across the top of my head, silencing me so that I wouldn't try and apologize further. He made me feel small, but in a sense to where I believed I was safe in his arms. Screwing the cap back on my bottle, I held it against my chest, cuddling as close to Jimin as I could get without making him uncomfortable. Protectively, his arms slipped down to my waist, one hand stroking my thigh to give me a sense of comfort while I lie in a puddle of my own tears, thinking over everything that had gone wrong in such a short time.
_
Yoongi offered a knock on Jungkook's bedroom door, met with a gruff, "Come in," from Taehyung. The brunet had been hanging around his younger boyfriend since he arrived home, not willing to leave his side for fear he'd disappear again. Jungkook had been just as unwilling to let him leave, always clinging to his waist or side when he was awake and sometimes even in his sleep. Stepping inside, Yoongi found the pair on Jungkook's bed, Taehyung sitting at the edge and watching over the maknae as he dozed peacefully beneath his sheets.
"How's he doing?"
"Better. He's quiet... Doesn't talk much. He's still upset that Yumin went through his phone."
"Mmh, I would be too. I told her to stop snooping, but I guess she didn't listen and found something last night."
Taehyung turned to look at his hyung with a paling face, his eyes half shut with exhaustion. He looked as if he hadn't slept all night. "What?"
"Jimin found her drunk in the kitchen; I only came down from using the bathroom because I heard them talking."
"Why was she drinking? Yumin rarely drinks."
"Well, she was drinking last night. A lot. Drunk so much that she dropped a bottle of soju and it shattered on the floor."
"Shit."
"Yumin only drinks that much when she's upset. I guess she continued snooping after we all went to sleep and found something she didn't like... but she won't tell us what."
"You think it's bad?"
Yoongi couldn't help but sigh. He had a feeling he was going to be answering these kinds of questions a lot in the future and soon he was going to have to start giving a different kind of answer. "I don't know."
"It can't be that bad." Taehyung's voice was growing defensive as he glanced down at a sleeping Jungkook, gently brushing his bangs away from his pouting face. "It's Jungkook we're talking about. The worst he's ever done was dent Seokjin hyung's truck."
Both of the boys chuckled, eyes trained on Jungkook as he scrunched his nose in his sleep, turning and burying his face away in his pillow.
"I don't know what Yumin found. I don't even know who's fault it is, but whatever she found upset her a lot."
"Is she still crying?"
The brunet glanced up at Taehyung with a cocked brow, wondering how he knew Yumin was crying when he hadn't seen her since the prior evening.
"I heard you guys early this morning. Y'know...when she was throwing up?"
Yoongi grimaced at the memory of holding Yumin's hair away from her face as she leaned over the seat of the toilet, burying her head in the bowl as tears streamed down her face. If only she hadn't drunk so much last night.
"She's not throwing up anymore, but she woke up crying. Jimin texted me to come bring her a bottle of water a little bit ago and now..." He trailed off, a frown pulling at his plump lips as he re-ran the sight of Yumin hiding away from him, her tears burning red trails down her already flushed cheeks. She had hidden from him. As if she couldn't bear to look him in the eye. Yoongi had tried to brush it off comically, but deep down it was tearing up his insides as he tried to figure out what was wrong with the brunette.
"Maybe I can talk to Jungkook," Taehyung murmured, "And you and Jimin, or even just one of you, can try and talk to Yumin? It's clear that something happened that night and both of them know what, so they gotta tell us eventually."
"I don't know. Yumin seemed deadset on not telling us what she found. I'm not sure Jungkook is gonna be any more compliant than she is."
"Will you at least try?"
Yoongi couldn't ignore unease lacing Taehyung's tone, offering a nod before stooping low and pressing their lips together. The younger boy hummed in surprise, eventually letting his eyes flutter closed as he reached up to cup the side of Yoongi's face. Their lips moved together slowly for a moment or two before they broke away, staring down at each other with dark, starry eyes. Yoongi's heart swelled for a moment, offering him a bit of peace while it seemed as if everything else around him were collapsing. Taehyung could be his safe place for a bit, but for now, he had other things to tend to.
Dragging himself away from his boyfriend with heavy steps, he exited the bedroom, Taehyung's pale, sunken face the last thing he saw.
_
"Maybe I can talk to Jungkook."
Taehyung's voice floated in and out of Jungkook's ears like a gentle breeze, making a shiver run up his spine as he eavesdropped on his hyungs, pretending to be asleep. He listened as they discussed Yumin's snooping; apparently, despite their encounter from last evening, she'd continued trying to find dirt on him well after they'd gone to sleep. And it looked as if she'd found something.
"I don't know."
Fuck. Whatever Yumin had found couldn't have been good. But, what did she find? Taehyung had fallen asleep with him last night, so unless she had been meticulous while searching, there was no way she could've come back into his room in the middle of the night to go through his phone. Even if she had, he'd hid it beneath his pillow, so if she'd been looking for it, he'd have been woken up either way.
"Will you at least try?"
Jungkook could feel tears spring up behind his closed eyelids, grunting and burying himself in his pillow to hide from the others. His mind reeled in a flurry of panicked thoughts, wondering why Yumin was so deadset on snooping on him. Maybe, whatever she had found, would help him tell the others what exactly had happened. Jungkook felt nauseous at the thought of gathering everyone around him and trying to find the words to explain that someone who he thought was his friend had turned around and drugged him for her own pleasure. His stomach knotted at the memory, a pained moan slipping from his lips as he fisted his bedsheets.
The sound of his bedroom door shutting brought him back to the present, his nerves settling the slightest as he listened to Taehyung's breathing. His hyung sighed, the mattress dipping at his feet as he leaned back against his bed. Daring to open his eyes, Jungkook peered over his shoulder, watching the brunet as his chest rose and fell while he lay quietly, his arm draped over his face. He felt pity towards his hyung for putting not only him but everyone else in an unsettled, distressed state. He wanted to tell everyone where he'd been that night, but he was just so scared of what would happen when he did.
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This was kind of a filler chapter. Sorry it didn't necessarily go anywhere, but for future chapters, I advise you read the trigger warnings at the start of each page. Please. It contains strong subjects that might anger or set some people off and I only wish to provide you guys entertainment, not worry. I love this book and don't wish for it to be continuously flagged, as it has been once before. If you don't like what I'm offering, then leave.
Other than that, thank you again for getting this book so far. It's become my safe space to write again so I'm far more eager to get chapters out to you all then I was months prior. And with school and work, it shouldn't be much of an issue to update around my new schedules. <3