"Ah.......Gwen, Look......... Look who's here! Look who's actually fucking here!!"
Marcus beamed excitedly and now looking a completely different person than he had done, just a few moments ago!
"How absolutely amazing is this!"
He went on, now extending an arm out towards Alan, emphasising the fact that the movie star was actually standing there.
I stared unbelievably at the sight before me, my mouth dropping open in shocked surprise at seeing Alan just stood there, in our cluttered, pokey little flat beside Marcus like that!
Although, this wasn't actually the first time Alan had been in here, but now knowing the grandeur of his own abode I felt as if he now must think that I was living in some kind of hovel or something.
"I hope you don't mind". Alan now began to speak softly, "I thought I'd just come up and see...........".
But he didn't get to finish, as I had predicted before, Marcus could be a little bit over the top, when it comes to being in the company of movie stars.
Today was no exception.
"OMG!!!". He Interrupted, clasping both his hands suddenly over his mouth, "He's actually come over to see if you are alright after last night's debacle....... How utterly amazing is that!".
I looked down and smiled to myself.
"Oh Gwen...... Isn't this absolutely wonderful for him to turn up, so out of the blue like this! Wow!!". Marcus went on.
"Isn't it just". I continued to smile, now looking over at Alan as I spoke.
"Well, don't be mean to him now". Marcus warned, wagging a finger at me.
" You know what you're like, just remember that! He was your actual Knight in shining armour last night......Weren't you Alan! ".
Marcus now turned to look at the film star, but Alan Rickman was looking at me, his penetrative eyes staring hard into my own. But I did not turn away as he now spoke:
"I believe that I was". He said, smoothly.
"Well, your very lucky you've caught her in, coz Gwen was just off out, staying over for a few nights at a friend's house I believe, you know to get her head around things, sort some stuff out and to probably get away from me for a bit no doubt............. Even though I've only just got back".
Marcus explained very quickly to Alan, who was now eyeing up my flatmate with a certain amount of curiosity.
"I've been away..... You see. Went to Ibiza". Continued Marcus.
"It was a blast!".
"Yeah, well its not really my scene". I muttered almost to myself, "But I'm glad you enjoyed it".
I now looked over towards Alan, hoping that he had heard my distain for places that were hot, loud and full of the types of people whom I presumed Alan would want to avoid like the plague! But he just continued to study hard at Marcus with a distinct little furrow line that by now appeared to be getting deeper with each word that Marcus spoke.
"Oh, I certainly did Gwen. You really should have come with me you know, you would have loved it! It wasn't the same without you being there to hold my hand. I really did miss you loads".
"Yeah, well I had things to do. A job...... As a matter of fact. I couldn't up and leave just like that! I don't have the same sort of privileges as you have to be able to Swan off at a drop of a hat. Some people have to work for a living you know!". I spat.
I was almost angry now, knowing full well that Marcus had little intention of ever finding himself a job at all in the near future!
In fact Marcus didn't want a real job at all. He just wanted to act a little bit, in small theatres here and there. He wouldn't want anything more demanding than that and now after his feud with Hugo, the likelihood of him ever having the opportunity to act again were also now pretty slim.
"I'll get a job". Marcus said, pretty unconvincingly.
"Yeah, and pigs might flipping well fly". I muttered.
"I will........... Look, you know how bad it makes me feel that you're having to support me all the while, its certainly not what you signed up for now is it........ by being with me and I do realise that. So...... Straight away tomorrow morning ..... I will go looking. I promise". He grinned, as he now made the sign of a cross over his chest.
I shook my head and glanced over towards Alan who had been listening with great interest to our inane conversation.
What must he now be thinking of my my useless flat mate. More to the point, what must he think of me to just put up with it all.
"Oh my God!!! .......... ". Marcus quite suddenly exclaimed and now looking over towards Alan.
"A thought has just occurred to me!! You know, whilst you're actually here Alan, I don't suppose you have any jobs going for me? A part in a film maybe? Or something else you're currently working on? You know how good an actor I am, I could be of some use as an extra or something!". Marcus blurted out.
I could have died, right then and there on the spot!!
This was so utterly humiliating.
I, of course hadn't been able to say anything to Marcus about The Secret Smile, but now Alan would probably think that I had and also maybe I'd even promised Marcus a part in it!!
"Don't be stupid Marcus...... It's not up to Alan".
I laughed, trying to cover up my embarrassment, whilst also trying to show Alan that this wasn't my idea.
"It's all down to the script writers, producers and the directors. Alan can't just offer you a part in a film, just like that!".
I scoffed.
Marcus stared hard at me, possibly wondering why I was being so darn defensive about it all and not leaving Alan alone to answer the question.
" Well....... ". Alan now drawled, " Being me......... It may be quite possible that I will be able to influence a few people in the know".
Marcus's eyes suddenly widened.
"Really? Oh man that would be awesome!".
Alan took in a breath and looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Yes........ I could pull a few strings and get you a couple of days work........ If you'd like".
Marcus turned quickly towards me, his whole face brimming with excitement.
"Did you hear that Gwen? Alan Rickman, the man himself has just offered me a part in a film! What dya think about that then!". He said, crossing his arms firmly over his chest, whilst his expression went on to full on smug mode.
I gave a deep inverted sigh.
Now I would probably have to contend with Marcus on set as well as Patricia Mae, watching my every movement with a harsh critical eye.
What possessed Alan to even say that!
"Oh, this is so fantastic!". Marcus went on, smiling broadly and clapping his hands excitedly.
"I'm gonna be an actual bona fide film star, just waiting on the cusp of being truly discovered. Well stuff you Hugo Martinez and your pathetic, silly little ways. I'm gonna be making it big and without you and your constant put downs and sarcasm, just you see!".
I sighed with defeat.
Alan wouldn't possibly go back on his word now, not after seeing how darned excited with everything Marcus was now being and in a strange sort of way I got the feeling that Alan thought that he was actually doing me the favour!
Perhaps he might have thought it unfair that I was having to foot the bill into the running of the flat all the time and possibly thought that by offering Marcus some work, it might ease the pressure off of me somewhat.
But his kind and remarkable gesture however, was just making me feel worse in other ways.
Now I really will have to tell Marcus what was going on with my own career as well as in my rather personal, private life regarding Alan as well and before he arrived on set.
"Look, here's a card with the telephone number of my agent on. She will put you in touch with the powers that be and let you know when and where you'll be needed". Alan now said, reaching inside his jacket pocket for the offending object.
Marcus gratefully took it off him and continued to marvel at the writing upon it.
"Thank you Sir, thank you so very much". He spoke, almost in awe at the film actor.
"But I should leave it a day or two though, just to give me time to speak with her first, otherwise she'll just fob you off and you won't get the opportunity". Alan spoke seriously.
"Okay..... Yeah, I'll wait then. I don't wanna be messing this one up!". Marcus smiled, now tapping the offending object with a forefinger.
"Right then". Alan said, now pulling a hand slowly through his thick greying hair and giving a deep sigh.
"With my good deed done for today, I must bid you both goodbye"
I stared at him.
No mention of me coming over to his house with him then?
No words of encouragement for me at all.
It was plainly safe to say that this had now all been about Marcus!
And why hadn't Alan run it passed me first before offering him a part in the film, however small.
Didn't he realise just how really awkward this was now going to be for me!
Alan was now moving towards the door and my heart was sinking with him.
He should be asking me if I was ready to come with him?
Asking me where my bag was?
Even taking hold of my hand!
No...... That was too much to ask.
This whole thing had turned into a Marcus benefit occasion and Alan had most likely forgotten, that I was actually just returning here to get changed and to pack a bag!
Damn it!! I was supposed to be going with him, back to his lovely home. Perhaps even end up spending the night with him, who knows!
Now he was leaving and I was just standing there watching him go?!!
"This is so unbelievable". Marcus now said, staring at the card in his hand as he now sank nonchalantly into our little battered two seater sofa.
"Fancy Alan Rickman wanting me!".
I glared at my smug flatmate and was about to correct him by subtly giving him a reminder that it was actually he who had asked Alan, not the other way around!
However, I thought better of it. No point in getting into a silly little argument with Marcus about the why's and wherefores of who asked who.
Meanwhile, Alan was making his exit towards the stairs. I knew that I must go after him although I didn't know quite what I was going to say to him once I'd caught up with him!
Nevertheless I still decided to follow him out onto the landing, where the film star was already descending down the stairs.
"Wait!........ Alan!". I cried.
He stopped for a moment and turned around.
"What is it". He answered, somewhat curtly.
I was taken aback somewhat by the tone of his words. He seemed sort of tetchy, angry even and I had no idea why.
"Um...... I...... Was...... Er..... I.... Was....actually going to come back with you......... You know...... To your home......... Maybe stay over again". I found myself saying, rather shakily.
Alan stared at me. An almost cold, icy stare as if he couldn't quite believe what I was saying to him.
"Strikes me as a rather odd thing to do. Why you would feel the need to do that". He answered coldly.
"What?!!". I frowned.
Alan now rested a hand onto his hip and although it was actually me who was looking down at him on the stairway, I still felt really intimidated by him and the way he seemed to be challenging me.
" I rather think it's best if you stay here with Marcus, wouldn't you agree. Just because he goes swanning off without you, doesn't mean you should do the exact same thing to him, just to get your own back". Alan said, very seriously.
I took in a breath and shook my head.
This was crazy. Why was Alan so concerned about Marcus all of a sudden!
"Look". He now went on.
"Whatever childish little games you two are playing, I want no part in it. Do you understand me".
I swallowed hard.
"I'm...... Not". I said rather quietly. "I really am not. Alan...... I thought I was beginning to make things clear to you by now".
He turned away from me, shaking his head in an almost disappointing manner.
"This...... This as taken me an awful amount of bravery to do. I'm not normally like this.................. With anyone". I found myself now pleading with him.
"So you thought you'd try it out on me then? Nice try Miss Stevens, but it hasn't worked. Now if you don't mind...........". Alan then proceeded to go down the stairs, leaving me in an utter state of confusion.
I knew that he didn't seem over animated about my decision to just take the bull by the horns and invite myself over to his home again, but there was no need for him to be so rude about it now was there!
He could have just told me that he rather I didn't come over tonight, before I had even got out of the damned car!
I mean......... He had even helped me to unlock the stupid door to my flat!!
So now what was his problem?
Suddenly he'd gone all hostile and horrid towards me and all I'd ever done was to fall in love with him!!
I was almost in tears now and gulped back the pain and the humiliation that I was now feeling.
Was Alan just the sort of man who loved the thrill of the chase?
I had to admit that I found it quite hard to believe that now he'd got my interest, as I was starting to feel confident enough to be able to make decisions about the direction that I wished our relationship to take, he was now backing off in the most cruelest of manners!
Didn't he like the way I had invited myself over to his home?
Well, if he didn't why did he not just say?
Perhaps this is how he was when a woman tries to be a little bit more forceful in a relationship with him, although, I had to admit he never came across as such.
Alan had reached the bottom of the stairs now and I watched as he turned around to look at me. I was so desperate for him to now just walk back up this terrible, cold, dank staircase, take me into his arms and to apologise for being so off handed with me.
But he did not.
Instead he continued to give me a look of complete disappointment.
I swallowed hard.
"Look......... We are on location tomorrow. You have managed to remember that....... I presume, with Jules Ryback?". He said rather stiffly.
I nodded my head, far too choked up to speak.
I had been told by David, that we were due to start filming in Richmond Park, so I presumed I would be going there with Alan.
" I will send a car round to pick you up 6. am sharp". He said, gruffly.
"Be ready".
I swallowed hard. I really hated Alan being like this with me, furthermore, I was at a total loss to why he had so suddenly changed his attitude so completely towards me. I could only now presume that it had something to do with the way I was with Patricia Mae in that lovely little coffee shop earlier. But it wasn't really my fault she'd walked out like that. To my mind, she had the retort from me actually coming. She'd been giving me snidey, snipey little comments for a good while now, always looking down her nose at me like I was something that a dog had left behind!!
And to think that I thought she was being really nice to me at first!
Anyway, it wasn't just me who had upset her, Jules was being pretty mean to her as well.
So why had Alan decided to portion all the blame onto me!
He knows I'm not normally mean to anyone, besides I was only trying to be tougher around her, for she had always been pretty horrible towards me!!
I was actually the victim here and just because I had started to stick up for myself a bit more and make decisions for myself......... It would seem, at least to Alan that it was a completely wrong thing to do!!
Didn't Alan actually want me to be more independent? To stand up for myself a bit more and grab whatever was out there?
I thought he wanted me to be a more confident and a lot more self assured about things.
I decided to have one last attempt at trying to win him over again.
Perhaps it wasn't all lost and he would just relent and tell me to go ahead and just get my bag!
I swallowed again and then took in a very deep breath.
"It still might be a good idea if I did come over........ Now.... with you? I mean..... Wouldn't........ It..... Be......you know....... More convenient if I was to go there with......... You in the morning?".
I asked him.
I searched his face for a little crack of encouragement, just a little one, so that I knew that all hope was not lost.
But still there remained a nothingness within his expression.
It was as if he'd suddenly lost all of his interests in me and it hurt. It hurt a great deal.
"I will see you tomorrow, back on the film set". He spoke curtly.
My heart sank again, for about the millionth time.
"And I will expect you to turn up with your actresses face on, eluding the sort of maturity and commitment that is so deserving of this part". He went on.
My breathing became suddenly shallow as I took in his every word.
"And absolutely no stupid false fear factors concerning any intimate scenes that we may be required to do. Am I making myself crystal clear?". He demanded.
I bent my head down and nodded very slowly, but just where he'd got that information from, that all of my fear and lack of self confidence was not anything but genuine was beyond me!
I had been nervous and scared and intimidated. It was no act!
The hardest part of this whole process was my lack of self belief in myself.
By the time I'd looked up again, I just managed to witness the closing of the door as Alan had now shut it behind him and had gone, leaving me feeling heartbroken and confused.
How could he have just done that to me?
I wandered back up the stairs again, my feet feeling like lead and my heart heavy with heartbreak, only to be met with a grinning Marcus looking down at me.
"As Alan gone?". He asked.
"Yes". I sighed, wearily.
"Oh, he's such a sound dude isn't he!". Marcus marvelled. "I still cannot quite believe that he wants me in a film with him.......... You know in an actual film!".
I sighed sadly to myself.
Marcus had completely got hold of the wrong end of the stick.
But what did it matter.
It didn't really. Not compared with everything else!
"I don't know why you didn't put yourself forward for a part?".
Marcus said suddenly.
"You've always wanted to make it into the acting world! Why didn't you do a pitch. I'm quite sure that Alan would have found a really nice part for you as well". Marcus went on.
I smiled to myself and then shook my head.
Maybe it was about time I came clean, after all the reason I kept quiet about it all in the first place was in case he blabbed to Hugo about it! But now that Hugo was clearly off the scene now, well........there was absolutely no reason why Marcus should be kept in the dark any longer. I should also just tell Marcus that not only had I managed to get myself a part in this film with Alan Rickman, I was actually playing one of the leading characters!!
"Well....... For a start...... He doesn't like my acting......... Don't you remember?". I pointed out with a smile, "However, that didn't prevent me from..........".
But I didn't get time to finish, as the shrill sound of a Brittany Spears song started to echo around the dark, enclosed staircase. This was Marcus's ringtone from his mobile phone and he immediately reached inside his jacket pocket to receive it.
" Hi....... Yes...... Yes..... I'm on my way now. I know....... Yes..... I'll be there in two ticks...... Oh my God..... I simply cannot wait to fill you in on everything that's happened................ You're simply never gonna believe it all". Marcus was grinning to himself insanely as he then pressed the end of call button on his mobile and returned to look at me.
"I'm off out. That was Clive. He wants me to meet up with some of the other guys........ You know, Mickey and Russ and maybe even Seamus. Oh it will be an absolute scream if he was to turn up as well !!". Marcus spoke excitedly.
I took in a breath. I realised that he was wanting to see his friends, but I really needed to tell him first about the film I was in......... With Alan.
"Look....... About this film thing.............". I began again.
Only now, I started to suddenly feel Marcus's two hands grabbing hold of my shoulders.
"Can it not wait darling. I really do have to dash". He said, tilting his head to the one side.
I gave a deep sigh and nodded my head at him.
I suppose he'll find out about it all in good time.
Possibly even on the film set itself. Now that would be quite a shock for him!
"Why don't you go and see Maya!". He then suggested.
"She rang earlier. Wanted to speak with you about something". Marcus went on.
"I'd clean forgotten to tell you earlier. She sounded a bit down in the dumps.......... The poor love. Maybe you could go round....... Cheer her up a bit. I know...... Tell her about what's just happened to me........ She'll love that!".
I stared at him.
Maya! I hadn't spoken to her since the night of the premiere when she and Amelia had helped to get me inside the cinema! And the last time I had actually seen her, she was dabbing her hankie over the blooded face of a security guard that I had walloped with one of my high heeled shoes!
Oh my God! What if she was ringing up to tell me he was going to prosecute me for GBH!!
My heart gave a strange sort flutter of nerves. This would be terrible.
What if this incident even made it into the papers as well!
"Up and coming film actress hits guard with shoe in a frenzied attack!".
Oh, no...... Alan would really be pissed off with me then...... Wouldn't he!
I mean, What would he say to me about that I wondered.
Yes, it would now seem as if I'd really blotted my copybook of being this naive, timid and somewhat shy young woman, who hadn't really done anything remotely interesting in her life before, suddenly ending up in court with an assault charge.
Alan Rickman would surely not want to be mixed up with anything like that now would he?
He was far too respected and refined.
"Anyway......". Marcus now said, awakening me suddenly from my mixed up thoughts of confusion, as he now proceeded to pass me on the stairs
"I really must run now. Places to be, people to see....... Choi...".
"Yes..... See you then Marcus". I spoke slowly.
And for the second time in as many minutes, I watched the horrid, big black door at the bottom of the staircase, slam shut in front of me.
I then sighed deeply to myself, suddenly feeling that my life was really on a steep downhill spiral to nowhere and it had all been my fault!
Why had it all turned out this way?
Firstly with Amelia, one of my most loyal and trusted of friends from years ago, blindly carrying on with her relationship with a man who had absolutely no intention of finishing things with his pregnant girlfriend. Who just happened to be my ex flatmate whom I didn't really like anyway, but knew an awful lot about me. Then the man himself, someone also from my past who I used to adore, turning out to be an attempted rapist, who also used to have a relationship with a girl I was extremely jealous of because of her relationship with Alan!
And now Alan himself.
The man whom I had found to be the sweetest, most gorgeous, kind hearted person I had ever met, who I had sorely misjudged entirely and had kept at arms length for months and months.
And now that I had actually fallen in love with him, he had now unexpectedly turned horribly hostile and cold towards me!
I turned and walked sadly up the stairs again and back into the flat, with my extremely heavy heart and my very confused and muddled brain.
Maya, as always looked really pleased to see me as I met up with her in the little family run florists shop, where she worked and it was always so good to see her.
She'd already packed a few sandwiches into a cool bag along with some mini bottles of G and T's, ready for a picnic in one of the Royal parks.
When I had rung Maya to say that I was coming over to see her, it was then by her suggestion that we did a bit of a picnic lunch, being that the weather was so nice. She would provide the food and beverages and all I had to do was turn up! Well, I couldn't say no to that now could I, although I did also bring a bottle of sparkling wine with me and two plastic cups!
"Are you hoping that we'll end up getting sloshed together?". She smiled on my arrival.
"That is the general idea". I grinned back as I waved the bottle in the air.
Maya was always good company. I could just be myself with her. No pretending that I was someone else, no clamming up either. I could be just me, although I always thought that she herself held back somewhat. She was such a very private, inward sort of person, never fully opening up to her real self and had managed to keep her love for Hugo a secret from everyone. Well that is every one except for me.
I had sussed it out quite a long time ago now, although I believed that her infatuations should be directed towards someone much more deserving of her love.
I had thought this was all such a waste of time for her though, for Hugo being gay and loving only himself was just a pointless waste of time for her in the pursuit of ever being happy.
But now, after Marcus's stark revelations about Hugo now being with a girl, well perhaps Maya's dreams of happiness were not totally wasted after all.
It turned out though, that Maya had revelations of her own.
"Did you manage to get it on with Alan in the end then?". She giggled.
I smiled and then slowly shook my head.
I had just explained the whole darn episode to her about getting into the theatre then meeting Alan in the corridor and then the two of us escaping via the fire exit door! Followed by the dancing in the pouring rain in Trafalgar Square, the passionate kissing we'd shared and eventually ending up at the film Premier after party with me getting totally wasted and ending up in the spare bedroom at his home.
"Sadly I didn't". I now confessed. "In fact, for reasons unbeknown to me, I've totally screwed everything up".
"How dya mean?". Asked Maya, delicately placing a ham sandwich to her lips.
"I don't know. Maybe he's just suddenly come to his senses and realised that I am just too much like hard work. I could never make up my mind about him. I have so many hang ups and things going on inside my head all the while. The insecurities surrounding any reasonable relationship I should have with Alan is just................well, is just too intense. I think he knows that now and as decided to walk away. I can't say I blame him if I'm being honest with you ". I explained.
I had now suddenly come to the conclusion that my erratic and strange behaviour towards him had now driven him away. I suppose it was only a matter of time until it did.
I mean, why on earth would he want to put up with all my shite!
It really wouldn't make sense, especially with Alan being who he was and everything. He could literally have anyone he wanted and not be totally messed about with, like he had been with me.
"Oh..... That's a real pity Gwen". Maya said sadly, idly picking at a little bit of grass with delicate fingertips.
"He seems so nice".
"Oh he is". I agreed quickly, "He's the most loveliest person ever. But he's also got all these strange people surrounding him as well you know, like Silva for instance". I recoiled at the fact that I had just said her name and shuddered.
But I went on nonetheless :
"Oh, he says she's just a friend and all that and there's nothing going on between them. But I can't help but to keep wondering, you know. They seem so very close".
"Must be awkward for you, but if Alan's says to you there's nothing in it....... You should really just believe him that there isn't".
Maya spoke gently.
"Yeah, I know....... But I can't help it. She's always about some place, you know...... Just there! And if she's not, then there are others around him". I said, moodily.
"What others?". Maya asked between mouthfuls of sandwich.
"Well, Take for instance this guy I met earlier today. A really odd kind of fella called Joe.......he's Alan's gardener, apparently. He was just....... Well...... Just so familiar with Alan, you know, saying all sorts of things to him, things that I would never dare say, not in a million years!".
Maya looked up.
" What sort of things? ". She now asked.
" Oh, about Alan's drinking for one! .............. You know this Joe even said to him that he thought Alan drank too much and it was said in a sort of patronising way. But the funny thing was......... Alan just sat there and took it! He didn't even bat an eyelid! Then this lad was in Alan's kitchen, looking very much at home, you know I swear Maya, if I didn't know any better I would have thought they were....................... Together! ". I said, raising my eyebrows at her.
" Don't talk stupid! ". Laughed Maya. " That's absolutely absurd!
This is Alan Rickman you're talking about! ".
" I know that......... But...... They seemed........ Oh, I dunno....... It was just so weird. Even the way Alan was looking at him, that sort of intensive stare thing he usually gives to females". I said, trying to justify my thoughts somewhat.
Maya continued to shake her head at me.
"He was also very caring towards him too, you know like you'd be for a very special friend, sort of looking out for him".
I went on.
Again Maya shook her head.
"Believe me.......... No way is Alan Rickman gay. I know when someone is gay or not. Don't forget....... I'm the expert, after watching Hugo's antics over the years........... So I would know!".
It was my turn now to shake my head and smile sweetly at her.
" Well....... I don't believe that you're quite the expert that you may think that you are! ". I suddenly announced.
" Oh, but I am". Maya grinned, wagging a finger at me. "I've been mooning over Hugo Martinez for long enough now. He's not going to suddenly turn straight...... For me or anyone else".
"You're sure about that....... Are you?". I smiled, glugging down a mouthful of wine.
"Of course I am". She nodded. "I've never told anyone else before, but I did proclaim my love to him once, you know. Told Hugo exactly how I felt. He then proceeded to tell me that, although he was flattered, I was also very deluded and shouldn't waste my time with him. He then......... He then cut me from any major parts in any theatre productions".
I opened my mouth in horror at her revelations.
"He shouldn't have done that! You're a brilliant actress........ And he knows it. That's just wasting your talents. What a knob head!". I said.
"Oh, don't be horrid. I didn't mind. I should have just kept my mouth shut really......... He wasn't going to change. I should never have expected him to. I had no right".
"Well........you might be in for a little bit of a shock, one day". I teased knowingly.
"And........ so might you be". She smiled.
"You see...... I've decided to forget all about Hugo from now on and well, concentrate on..... Someone else. I need to, I guess...... For my own sanity".
"Glad to hear it". I said between mouthfuls of sausage roll.
"Well then......... You know that security guard, the one you hit with your shoe". Maya began.
My heart suddenly and unexpectedly flipped and nerves rose up into my stomach.
Oh no....... Here goes...... He was going to take me to court...... That was it! I absolutely knew it!
Maya just got me out here with this lovely picnic to soften the blow just a little bit. Make me believe that everything was alright and then suddenly hit me, like I'd hit him, out of the blue with the fact that I was going to have to stand up in that Dock, telling a judge that it had all been a big mistake and I hadn't meant to do it, I just wanted and needed to see Alan Rickman!
The judge would then look over the top of his half moon spectacles, stare at me for a moment and then proclaim that I was medically insane and would need to be locked up indefinitely.
The hammer would fall down hard onto the wooden block and he would then announce:
"Take her down".
Two burly guards would then grab either side of me and drag me away as I protested that I only did it because I loved Alan, more than he could ever imagine. And there, standing watching me impassively would be Alan Rickman himself. Looking as gorgeous as ever, but with a saddened, sympathetic expression upon his handsome face as I was being dragged away passed him.
"I love you Alan....... I always have...... Forgive me please....... Everything I have ever put you through...... Please...... Forgive me".
"Gwen!............ Gwen!". I heard a voice sounding.
My name was being called and I looked around the courtroom for a familiar, comforting soul. My sister maybe, or perhaps even my mum. Gosh I needed my mum right now.
"Gwen!". The voice sounded again.
"Have you been listening to anything I've just said to you!".
Reality suddenly hit.
I wasn't in a courtroom at all. I was sat in a park, on the grass in the bright summer sunshine, enjoying a picnic with one of my bestest ever friends!
What the heck!
"Oh...... I'm so sorry...... Jeez...... I just had a severe moment there. A terrifying thought of impending doom". I breathed almost in relief at Maya and smiled at her as I grasped my chest and took in a huge breath.
But Maya wasn't looking amused at all.
"I thought you'd at least show a little bit of interest............ Even if you weren't particularly bothered". She hissed.
"Of course I'm interested". I argued, "What were you saying about the security guard. Is he going to press charges then........ against me?".
Maya stared at me and frowned.
"No....... No...... Of course he's not! What makes you think that everything should be about you all the while aye? For once....... This is about me!".
I breathed another sigh of immense relief.
"Well...... Go on then". I said.
"Like I was saying........." Maya began, " I've actually decided that I should just throw caution to the wind and go out with him".
"What? The security guard from the other night?". I asked flabbergasted.
"Yes..... Like I was telling you. Geoffrey is a really lovely guy". Maya said seriously.
"Geoffrey?". I giggled.
"Yes...... Geoffrey. That's his name and like I said....... He's lovely". Maya said.
"Oh, wow....... Well that's great then! Brilliant! Fantastic!". I beamed.
"Well, I thought so. Seems to me you have very different ideas, not even bothering to actually listen to what I have to say". Maya said sadly.
"No..... Look, honestly...... I was listening and I couldn't be more pleased". I beamed, now grabbing hold of her arms tightly and smiling broadly.
"You've hung onto the very ideal that Hugo will change for quite a considerable amount of time now........................ And even if it looks as if he may have actually now gone and done it...........Well, He's still a snake in my opinion".
The words came tumbling from out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them and now Maya was staring at me with a questioning look.
"What do you mean, looks as if he's now done it? As something happened?".
I stared at her.
Oh God!
I didn't particularly want to tell her now about the news that Hugo was actually dating a girl and had dumped Marcus for her, not now anyway. Especially given that Maya was herself on the verge of dating someone new, for the very first time ever!
I shook my head and took in a breath.
"Oh, it's nothing for you to worry about". I smiled. "So? When are you going out on this date with Geoffrey then? Presumably you haven't been on one yet!".
"Gwen....... I need to know..... What's happened?" She asked firmly.
I gave a deep, inverted sigh and it now became my turn to pick at some grass with my fingertips.
"Well?". Maya persisted.
"It's really nothing". I shrugged, hoping she'd just let my flippant remark just glide over her and she'd not want to pursue it.
But of course this was Maya and her deep infatuation with that horrible little man Hugo Martinez. Of course she wasn't going to drop it!
"Come on Gwen. Just tell me". She went on.
"Well...... There is something......". I mumbled.
"But nothing of any real importance".
"So tell me then and let me be the judge, if its of any importance or not". She said firmly.
I took in a shallow, shaky breath. I hoped that Maya wasn't going to get too upset about this.
Anyway, I suddenly thought........ why should she be. She had Geoffrey now and had only just told me that she had wiped Hugo well away from her mind and was concentrating on someone new!!
I bit my lip.
This surely wouldn't do any harm, not now!
"Well, you know that Marcus is back". I said slowly.
"Did he come back......... With Hugo?". Maya asked, her eyes widening.
I shook my head.
"No....... Hugo's still out there...... In ibiza". I said.
"Oh". Maya sounded sad.
"Did...... Did.... Marcus and he fall out then?".
"You could say that". I mumbled, picking at a stray blade of grass.
I took in another deep breath.
"Hugo found someone new........ Well you know what he's like". I said.
"Oh". Maya said, quietly.
"That's just typical of him. He's a complete user of the highest order". I hissed.
Maya now had her head bent right down. She looked saddened, but I wasn't really certain whether it was for the fact that he'd shown such utter disregard for another human being, like he had always done or if she actually felt sad for Marcus.
"Anyway, I'm glad you've found someone nice to focus your attentions on". I suddenly said, "Instead of wasting your time on Hugo. He's never going to change".
Maya looked up slowly.
"But you just said he had..........Only a few minutes ago, you told me he'd changed?".
She asked.
I shook my head. I didn't really want to tell Maya that he'd chucked Marcus for an actual woman! That would never do.
I needed to make sure that she was now going to go out with this Geoffrey character, like him and then perhaps have some sort of relationship with him, just to get that git, Hugo Martinez out of her system once and for all.
But once again, Maya was persistent in her questioning.
"Come on now Gwen. Stop with this keeping stuff from me lark. You're supposed to be my friend you know". She went on.
I took in a laboured breath.
"Well you see..... ....... He's kind of.......... He's sort of......" I stalked.
Maya's eyes were widening with anticipation.
I took in yet another breath.
"Well...... He's now with a woman". I blurted out.
Maya stared at me, her mouth dropping open with acute shock.
"Turns out he's not really, truly gay after all". I went on.
Maya was still staring at me. Her face fixed onto my face in a sort of unbelievable manner.
"Are...... Are... You sure?". She asked, her voice was cracking and shaky.
"Yeah". I nodded. "Marcus caught them at it. He's broken to bits over it all. He's deemed himself a failure, he now thinks he's put Hugo off men...... For good".
Maya now looked down and twirled a few blades of grass around and around in her fingers.
She was now deep in thought. Possibly thinking that she had had a lucky escape from this awful manipulative man who now left a string of broken hearts in his wake.
She then gave a deep sigh.
"Well this leaves a very different Complexion upon things". She now mumbled.
"How dya mean?". I asked as I watched Maya now getting up to her feet.
"I have to go". She said, as she started to pack the picnic away.
"Thank you for eventually coming clean about everything, although I had to literally drag it out of you".
"Well, I hadn't come here to talk about Hugo particularly". I shrugged, "He's just a waste of time".
"Not to me he isn't". Maya said, as she began throwing stuff haphazardly into a bag.
I also now got to my feet and began to help her clear everything away.
"Does this mean our picnic is now over?". I asked disappointedly.
"Afraid so". Maya said, without looking up. "You see...... I have to go. I have to go right away. I have to go to ibiza!".