Chapter Fifty-Five
Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
I wish I could say everything went back to normal after that...
That we fell back into our normal patterns and went back to being us.
It wasn't that easy though.
Things still weren't the same...
And it sucked.
But what could we do about it?
We had three kids to take care of now.
We were lucky to be alone for even a minute.
But even when we were it was just silence.
Neither of us wanted to talk about it...
Neither of us wanted to break the thin sheet of ice that kept everything from falling to shit.
But to be quite honest... that sheet was breaking by itself.
Niall hadn't said anything about being pregnant since I had come home.
To be fair it had been two days, but he still should've said something by now.
I had even been dropping subtle hints...
But he'd just ignore them like I hadn't even said them.
I was getting frustrated to be honest, but I couldn't ruin this.
I couldn't ruin the sense of everything being okay just yet.
So that's how we found ourselves sitting in the back yard, a blanket on the grass with the twins laying on it comfortably. A.J. was running around with his stuffed elephant, making plane noises as he did so.
Niall was on his back, looking up at the sky as if he was watching the clouds. I however was sitting up, keeping a careful eye on A.J.
"I think we should move." Niall suddenly said, catching me slightly off guard.
"What?" I asked, not really sure if I heard him right the first time.
"I think we should move... Find a bigger place."
"What's wrong with the one we got? We've got plenty of room for our little family Niall... Sure A.J. and Jonah will have to share a room once they're older but it'll be okay." I said, shrugging as if it wasn't a big deal.
But on the inside I was kind of freaking out.
Was he gonna say it?
Was he going to tell me?
"What... But what if we had more kids Harry? Where are they going to sleep?"
"We can figure that out when it's time to. You're not pregnant or anything right now so it's not like it's a top priority. We've got time Niall."
"What if I was though?"
"Then we would figure it out." Dammit Niall just say it.
Why wasn't he saying it?
Was it so hard to say three words?
But then again it took him almost a year to tell me he loved me...
He has issues with three word sentences...
"Okay..."
"Why?" I bit my lip, the anticipation nearly killing me.
Why wouldn't he tell me?
Was he scared I would be mad?
Or... Or was he not pregnant anymore?
"I was just.... I was just wondering." He whispered, turning onto his side as he looked down at the twins. Both of them were awake, cooing as they lay there. They seemed to enjoy the sun, Jonah especially.
I assumed he liked the feeling of the sun on his skin.
He liked anything that had to do with touch and feeling really.
"Harry?"
"Yes Niall?" I sighed, trying not to be annoyed with him.
I just didn't get why he wasn't telling me.
Was it really that hard?
"Do... Do you want another baby?" He asked, looking up at me as I glanced down at him. He was biting his bottom lip, his eyes locked with mine.
"I wouldn't mind another one... I mean a baby right now would be hard but I wouldn't be upset." I said, being completely honest.
It would be hard to have three kids under the age of three, but we could do it.
"Are you sure? Even if we didn't plan it?"
"Niall, when have any of our kids really been planned? A.J. was the surprise of a lifetime and the twins... maybe one of them was planned, but baby number two most certainly was not."
"I guess you have a point..."
"Why though? Why the sudden questioning?" I asked, hoping that would finally jump start him into telling me.
I was screaming at him internally to...
"I..." He started, but then he looked away from me and went back to looking up at the sky. I internally groaned.
Seriously Niall.
Three words.
It's not that hard.
But I guess it finally clicked that he wasn't going to say anything...
He was going to put it off for as long as he could.
The stupid f ucker.
"Liam told me." I blurted out, finally sick of the dancing around the bush.
The avoidance of the elephant that was clearly not the one A.J. was playing with.
"Told you what?" He said, still acting like there was nothing.
I hated it when he did that.
Dammit Niall.
"He told me you were pregnant." I said, watching his face as I gauged his reaction. Niall didn't even look at me.
"Im gonna kill his turtle." Niall said, glaring up at the sky.
I let out a surprised laugh.
"What?"
"He wasn't supposed to tell you..."
"I figured as much... but why not?"
"I didn't... I didn't know if I was gonna keep the baby. I found out like right after you left and I... I didn't know for sure if you were gonna come back... The other day I went... I went to the hospital for... you know... but the-they put me in the same room where we found out about Jemma and Jonah in... A-And I couldn't do it. I almost did though and I feel terrible for even considering it..." Niall's voice trailed off into a whisper as he looked at me finally.
"Promise me that you won't leave?" He asked, looking at me with serious eyes.
"Why do you keep thinking I'm going to leave?" I whispered, feeling somewhat offended that he always assumed that.
But then again we both had a tendency to leave when things got hard.
"I... Just promise me?"
"I promise... Things are going to be okay Ni..."
"I sure hope you're right."
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Bleh.
This chapter seems to be an absolute bore.
I don't like it all that much :P
This books is also (FINALLY) drawing to a close. I think we're looking at about 60-65 chapters in total.
But then again I might surprise you.
Cause I said this story would be done at like chapter 30.
So yeah....
QOTD: What is your favorite 1D song?
AOTD: Hands down its TDKAU. I still get shivers (ha. I crack myself up) whenever I hear that song on my playlist. It's absolutely beautiful and I cry.
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Connie xx