"Ivory!" I squeeze my eyes closer together, trying to force myself to fall into eternal sleep. "Get up or I'm coming in!"
I pull the covers over my head, blocking out the obnoxious sound of the banging on my bedroom door. I sigh, curling in a ball. With me being under the covers, I'm starting to get hot.
"That's it!" Austin yells from the other side of the door. "I'm coming in!" The sound of the door opening replaces the annoying yelling from my brother on the other side of the door.
I groan, low and loud as he shakes my shoulder. He sits down, the weight of my bed sinks a little lower. "Ivory, get up, okay? Listen, I know you don't want to go to school, but Ivory, you need to go. Mom will kill us both if you don't."
I pull the covers off my head. "I don't want to go."
He sighs, long and deep. "Ivory, you need to, please? Listen, just go to school today and if you don't want to tomorrow you don't have to."
I yank the covers off me, groaning. "Let me get dressed." He walks out.
***
"I'll walk you to your locker," my brother said. "Okay?"
I pull my bag up higher. "Um, why?"
He opens the front doors for me. "Because I don't want you going in alone and everything."
I stop dead in my tracks. "No," he gives me a questioning look. "You aren't going to walk me just because I'll be alone- which I've always had been since. . . Collins and you never walked me to my locker before. But, oh, suddenly something bad happens again and you decide to try to be all nice, caring big brother now?"
He opens his mouth to speak, but he closes it again. He repeats it twice. "So," I said. "Don't worry about me. See you at home." And at that I walk away, leaving him in silence. Well except the sound of my sweatpants scraping against the floor.
I gather my books, slamming the locker shut, and turning around so sharply that I slam into someone. Well when I look up at that someone it's Collins.
"Uh, sorry." I said, staring up at him. He didn't look so well either. His hair looked like it hadn't been brushed, like he had just got out of bed and not bothered to brush it, his face was a pale color except the dark purple coloring his eyes, he wore sweatpants- like me- and a plain T-shirt.
He shrugged, his eyes darting away from mine and he walked away. I stood there a moment, blinked then I gritted my teeth, set my jaw, and walked to my first class.
***
Lunch was awful. I sat at the library table once again, yet Collins was there but he was sitting exactly where he was when I first met him. He was completely asleep or really good at faking it.
I almost thought about drawing on his face again with a sharpie, but I didn't have it in me to do so.
I sat there tapping my foot, very uncomfortable. I needed to talk to him about it. But when?
I got up before my mind could think anymore but my legs seemed to say: Now is the time!
I kicked his leg, making him stir. Fake or not, it was convincing. "Hey!" I hissed at him, kicking a little harder.
He opened his eyes. "What?!??"
I crossed my arms. "We need to talk."
He stared at me. "About what?"
Was he serious? "About this." I waved my hand in between us.
He sat up a little more, yawning. "I'd rather not, Ivory."
I intake a sharp breath. "Um, why not?"
He stands up fast, real fast. For a second, I'm concerned he will get dizzy but he doesn't seem to or get unbalanced.
"Ivory, because I don't want to! Did you ever think of that?!? I don't want to talk about it, not even mention it!" He fumes at me, making me take a step back.
"Actually I don't either, but I'd rather talk about it then ignore it!" I snap at him.
"Ivory, we are not talking about this!" He almost shouts, but he lowers his voice.
I feel my face flush a deep red. "Well it sure is going to be hard for us to ignore each other when our parents are dating each other."
His face loses color. "I've said it already. We are not talking about this." And at that, he walks away and he doesn't once look back at me watching him walk away from me.
***
"Look, I'm sorry, Ivory. I've been a bad brother and I know. I just want to make you feel okay with Collins and everything. I just- I hate seeing you suffer-"
"Austin," I cut him off. "It's fine. Really. Just don't go all mushy gushy apologies, okay?"
That makes him smile. "Fine. But I still am sorry." After a moment he asks. "Have you talked to him?"
"Sort of." I said.
"Care to share?" He asks with a charming smile. And I explain what happened- all of it.
He sets his jaw. "Moms asleep."
I raise my eyebrows. "Um, yeah, and why?"
He grabs my arm. "I am driving you to his house, you have to tell me directions, and we will go there," he drags me out of my room and roughly down the steps. "And you will talk to him."
"That sounds like a demand more than a question." I said ripping my arm out of his arm. But he quickly picks me up and I cry out.
"It was, now be quiet before mom asks where we are going. And I don't want to explain that you have to be the man of the relationship right now."
***
"No that house right there!" I point towards his house. He turns off the lights and parks a little ways away from the house.
"Well," he looks at me. "Good luck, I'll be waiting here. Take as long as you need, but keep iy PG."
"Hilarious." I said with a straight face and creep towards the house.
"Please say you are still awake," I whisper to myself. Crap, which window was to his room?!?
I go to the side of his house, looking for any window. I see one with the lights on, I tip toe towards it and I get on the tips of my toes to look through the window.
And boy was I luck today, Collins was seated at the bed with a book in his hands, his face full of concentration.
I can't do this, I think. My heart was racing and my hands werr sweating. I was staring at him through the window, why did I even come here?!? I didn't even fight that hard against my brother.
That's because you want and need to talk to him, my subconscious tells me.
With a shaky hand after more minutes of convincing myself, I knock on the window. He doesn't hear it. I knock harder, making his head whip towards the window.
I shrink away a bit. I hear the creek of the window open. "What in God's name-"
"L-Let me in," I stuttered.
"What are you doing?!?" He asks me.
"I'm here to talk to you, now let me in. Please." I give him a pleading look.
"What do you want to talk about?" He crosses his arms and I look at the bed he is sitting at. The same bed we had our lips dance and so did our bodies. . .
"We,uh, never finished what were were talking about." I said.
"We finished it." He told me with no emotion.
I shake my head. "No we didn't." I sighed. "We need to talk about this!"
He looks away. "Fine, what are we going to say?!? Oh, our parents are dating and so were we. What else is there to say, Ivory."
"You said were." I state.
"What?" He asks me.
I take a deep breath. "You said 'our parents are dating and so were we.' As in past tense."
"Well do you expect us to still be dating when our parents are dating?" He asks, standing up to move closer to me.
"W-We could at least tell them!" I snap.
"Like that would help!" He snaps back. "Then they'd break up and they are happy! You really want to make our parents unhappy?!?"
I gritt my teeth. "I never want them to be unhappy. But I don't want to be unhappy either!"
He looks at me. "Then what are we supposed to do?"
I sniff. "Well, it seems like you want to not be together."
He is quiet for a long time. "I just don't know."
"You don't know if you want to be with me?" I almost yell.
"No, I do know that." He said quietly. "I just don't know what to do."
"What do you mean you don't know what to do?!?" I snap, my hands flying in the air.
He avoids the question. "Ivory, I really do miss what we almost had." He looked away. "And what it could have been."
"You-You aren't breaking up with me. . . .Are you?" I looked straight at him. "Collins, I am in love with you."
Collins looks away from me, turning away. His voice breaks, "Just go, Ivory."
I take a deep, shaky breath and walk away.
***
"How did it go?" Austin asks when I get in the car.
I turn my head towards the window. "Just drive. Please."
We didn't speak the entire time. And I was glad we didn't. We silently pull into the driveway, and into the house.
"What happened? Do you want to talk about?" He asked me. I don't know how it started, but suddenly I was a complete sobbing mess. Austin had his arms wrapped around me and we both sunk to the floor with me crying in his arms.