One year earlier
I WAS GOING TO KILL WHOEVER WAS BANGING ON MY DOOR. Ten o'clock in the morning was too gods-damned early to be waking me up. Especially considering I was cranky. Very cranky.
I stomped up the door. Reighla was gone, she had things to do and had told me last night she'd be gone all day. So it was just me and whoever decided it was a good idea to bang on my door. Clearly they didn't realize they had a psychotic assassin on the other end ready to bash their head in for waking them. I prayed it wasn't Emile, I really didn't feel like shouting at him this early in the morning.
I was on vacation! I was allowed to sleep in for once. Being in Minette's Band came with some perks, but this was definitely one of the downsides. No sleep. My sleep schedule at home was horrendous. Getting whatever little sleep could be offered and taking it graciously. It hadn't mattered what time of day it was. Sleep was sleep. And that's all I needed. And someone was really testing me. This is all I had wanted. To get away and sleep.
But nooo.
And I had a feeling of who was waiting for me outside that door.
With a hideous scowl plastered on my lips I wrenched open the door, glaring and groaning at the cocky-ass grins waiting for me on the other side of the door.
"What do you want," I snarled. Landon pouted. "Someone really isn't a morning person, huh?"
I bared my teeth before attempting to slam the door in their smug faces. It was too early to deal with them. I needed a heavy dose of caffeine in me before talking to them. Opium would've been another great option. Being as high as a kite. But, of course, I did not have that luxury.
Kam's foot caught in the door. I pulled back and glared. "Yes?"
He snorted before raising two things in his hand, both from Gennie's pastry shop—the place we went yesterday that Emile recommended. In Kam's left hand was a bag filled with pastries, no doubt. The other was a tray, cups with hot beverages in them. I raised a brow. "Tea or coffee?" I queried. Here came the real test. If it was correct I'd let them in.
He smiled, "Tea."
I wanted to smack him for how well he seemed to know me but also kiss him for bringing tea instead of coffee. I hated coffee. I preferred tea, but I don't like it too sweet. Just a spoonful of sugar and a splash of milk. That's all I needed. It would have been even better if it was—
"Earl grey," he said pointing to two of the drinks. "And green."
I bit back my moan and begrudgingly opened the door. I'd pester him later on how he knew my two favourite flavours, but for now I was going to accept it gratefully.
Kam smirked and gave a slight bow before walking in, Landon trailing after but not without winking at me first. I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind them. Why were they here? Yesterday was somewhat okay, but I hadn't realized we became friends. I'm not exactly sure we did, but they're here and I'm too tired to fight them. Not without my tea first.
Kam walked over to the settee and set the tray and bag down, he began to pull out the drinks and delicately placed them on the glass coffee table. Landon flopped down on the couch behind him. I strolled over to the armchair opposite of them and plopped down.
"Care to explain," I drawled, leaning back into the comfy chair whilst draping my legs across the arm. Kam raised his head, eyes looking at me through his lowered lashes. "We brought breakfast," he stated.
I deadpanned. "I can see that."
Landon snorted from behind his cousin. "Someone's grumpy."
"Do not start with me, pervert, it is too fucking early to deal with your bullshit, you foul mouthed—"
Kam shoved one of the teas in my hands, earning my silence. Landon gaped at me, but I didn't care. I took a large sip from the tea and moaned in delight. He somehow knew my exact order too. It had a twinge of sweetness to it but that was it, the earl grey itself was perfect. It didn't need anything else to change that.
I glanced up at Kam. "This is godly, I'm in love with you right now."
He smiled and gave me a wink before digging through the pastry bag. Landon crossed his ankles and pouted his lips again. "I brought the teas too, why don't I get an 'i love you'?"
I growled at him. "Because you continue to open your mouth and provoke me when you know damn well I will go over there and cut off your—"
Kam thrusted a chocolate muffin in my free hand, silencing me once more. I squealed and gently placed my cup down and dug into the muffin. It was euphoric. I could have died happily off the muffin alone. In a perfect world I'd also have a big mug of earl grey in my other hand.
But, beggars can't be choosers.
"I love you even more." I muttered in between bites.
"I can't tell if she's talking to you or the muffin," Landon observed. Kam chuckled whilst passing a tea and muffin to Landon and then finally served himself last.
I moaned when I put an extra chocolatey bit on my tongue. "Definitely the muffin."
They both chuckled before eating their muffins and sipping their hot teas. I glanced up at them. "What're you doing here?" I asked, genuinely curious. I didn't know why they were here, especially so early.
Kam ripped off a piece of his blueberry muffin, plunking the pastry onto his tongue. I found myself staring, entranced by the meticulous and calculated way he broke it apart. It was intricate and fascinating. He concentrated on the base of the muffin until all that was left was the top. Then he began to rip that apart too.
"Apologies for the past two days," Kam said, in between bites.
I smiled then. "Apology accepted. But, I'm still riding off my chocolate muffin and tea high, I don't know how future Ember will feel about your apology. But this Ember has quickly forgiven, as long as you keep the muffins coming, that is."
Kam's gold eyes met mine, amusement and satisfaction dancing through the amber irises. He smirked. "I'll take what I can get."
I snorted before carefully picking up my hot tea and guzzling it back. Not at all concerned about the burn that came with it. Okay, more than a burn, a fucking fire comes with it. But I had let none of it show. Too tired to care at that point.
I cradled my hands around the hot cup, running the pads of my thumbs across the paper cup before I looked back at them.
"Okay, but seriously," I said, gaining both of their attention. I didn't know how to react, I had two powerful Fae men giving me their attention. I didn't think they did that often. To have both of them truly care enough to look at me? To give me that respect?
I swallowed back the lump in my throat and continued. "Why are you here?"
"Remember what I told you yesterday?" Landon asked, raising a delicate brow. I nodded my head as Kam reached back into the pastry bag and handed me another muffin. I mouthed a "thank you" to him, to which his only answer was a wink. My heart flipped. "Well, we're going to the creek," he continued, drawing my attention back to him and not Kam's intoxicating gaze. Landon took a long swig from his cup before shrugging. "Kam thought it was a better idea to butter you up with sustenance before telling you."
I narrowed my eyes. "Not asking me? You're telling me I'm going?"
He grinned. "You got it, babe."
I made a disgusted face before taking another sip from my drink. If it was yesterday, I would have bashed their brains into the pavement for all to watch. Today? I was fed and caffeinated. I was in a much better mood. It didn't sound too bad.
Landon stared at me with his brows raised. My own shot up on my face.
"You want to go now?" I asked, incredulous. Landon opened his mouth, but I stopped him with the raise of my index finger. I knew exactly what he was going to reply with. You got it, babe. I threw him another disgusted look before turning to Kam. He leaned back against the settee and nodded his head. Sipping－daintily－from his cup.
He looked at me over the rim of his drink. "That was the plan, yes."
I smiled dryly. "Great, thank you both for deciding to include me in your little plans of taking me without asking."
Landon snorted again. "You－"
I pointed my finger at him, accusingly. "Don't,"
He chuckled before propping his head up with his fist. "Now would be the time to go get changed, or if you'd like we could always go in naked. That would be quite scandalous, wouldn't you agree Kam?"
I narrowed my eyes. There was no way in hell that was happening. Like I had been saying; pervert. I slid my gaze from Landon, but not before throwing him my particularly favourite finger.
My heart picked up as me and Kam's eyes locked. His gaze alone sent shivers down my spine. Lovely shivers. His eyes made my skin tingle, sparking that fire deep inside my chest. Looks like those . . . made me feel things I really didn't want to feel. Shouldn't feel, was the better phrase. No one looked at me like that. With such . . . hunger. I was never gawked at. People gawked at Faune, some flat out stopped walking in their tracks to stare at her, but one snarl from me and they averted their eyes. It always bothered me－still does－that people choose her to stare at. Because of her beauty. All I had ever wanted was for someone to look at me like that. With longing; desire.
No one ever had.
People ran from me. Soiled themselves when I held their stares. The fear in their eyes, every single time. I didn't like to admit it, but it hurt me. Still does. I had never wanted to be feared. I wanted to be loved.
Wanted.
I had been with my fair share of men and women. Never stayed though. Everyone ran. Everyone leaves.
Staring at him with that intensity had me wanting to cross my legs. To stop my treacherous body from reacting to a look. It was just a look. I needed to calm down.
But I couldn't. Not with him staring at me.
Kam wet his bottom lip, not breaking our stare. He smirked. "Yes, it would."
His gaze roved over my body, I couldn't take it. I bit my lip and turned my attention back to Landon, who had a knowing smile on his lip. It instantly brought my mood down. The aggressive assassin making a comeback.
I glowered at him. "If you come even close to me naked I will cut off your favourite bits."
Landon gasped dramatically, throwing a hand over his heart. "Not my favourite bits!" He protested.
I shook my head, hardening my glare. "Joke all you want, but I make good on my promises, pervert." Landon chuckled.
"Oh?" Kam's voice rang out, trying to gage my attention. "Is that so?"
I didn't look at him as I smiled, knowingly at Landon who began to sputter out curses at me to stay away from him. I smiled sweetly before taking a sip from my tea, which was practically done. I frowned a bit.
"Go get ready, Hannah. I want to be out of here as soon as possible." Landon whined like a child. I scrunched my brows together. "Why the rush?"
He sighed. "Because I'd like to spend as much time there as possible before I have to go."
I leaned forward, raising my brow this time. "Got other plans?"
He nodded. "Someone I have to see,"
"Oh?"
He downed the rest of his tea and threw it up in the air. I opened my mouth to bark at him to clean that up, but it was already gone. It vanished. Like it was never there to begin with.
"Wow－"
He sprang up from the couch, he waved a dismissive hand and strode towards my chair. "Yes, yes, it's very cool. I'm magnificent, I know." He reached me, plucked the cup from my hands and dragged me to my feet. "Come on, Em. Time to get ready."
I slung some filthy curses at him before leaving them in the living room. As I reached my room I found myself glancing back at Kam. He was talking animatedly with Landon, he must have felt my stare because suddenly he was looking over his shoulder at me. He gave me a knowing smile before winking. I glared at him while I walked back into my room.
I needed something to wear. I hadn't packed anything to wear for swimming. I didn't think I would, especially considering that bathing suits show a crap ton of skin. To show off peoples' glamorous and flawless flesh. But mine wasn't even close. Mine was heavily scarred, torn up, clawed.
My skin was hideous, and I couldn't afford to show anyone. Show the nightmares that still live in me. On me.
It was one thing to be friends with the two jackasses, but it was another thing to trust them. Trust is not something I gave out willingly.
I needed to hide my skin, more specifically my back. I didn't want to have them stare at me, with disgust on their faces, or pity. I didn't want any of it. I didn't need their questions, or them inquiring why there is a word etched into my skin. They didn't need to know anything.
And I didn't want them to.
So I opted for grabbing a tank top with thin straps and that was tight but didn't feel uncomfortable. It hugged my chest nicely, without revealing too much skin. It was a maroon top that Faune had bought me, it would have to do. I didn't have any pants that were light enough to swim in, it'd have to be my underwear then. Lovely.
I walked over to my dresser, slipping on my favourite pair of black garments. They were cotton, soft and comfortable yet hot at the same time. They did wonders for my ass, and they were comfy. A girl's one dream.
I wasn't going to walk around Kryler in just my underwear, I didn't want to give Emile a heart attack. I rifled through my dresser for my flowy grey shorts. I frowned when I couldn't find them. I could have sworn－
Crap, I wore them last night and shucked them off on the couch. I got hot and took them off, they must have fallen down the side of the settee. Damn. Which meant I had to walk out there in my underwear to grab them.
Oh well, this was my suite and they barged in. I wasn't going to shy away and be embarrassed because of how I was dressed.
I straightened my spine, lifted my chin and strode out of my room, throwing the door open wide behind me. Both males turned around. Landon's jaw slacked as he ogled at my bare legs. Kam's eyes were transfixed on my skin. I had never been so happy to have shaved the night before in my entire life. I smirked at them before striding over to where they both sat. Landon's eyes darted between me and Kam.
"Off," I said, jerking my chin at them. Landon's throat bobbed, Kam's eyes darkened on me. "Ember . . ." he warned, his voice rough and low.
"Off the couch." I corrected, they scrunched their brows together in confusion. I huffed. "My shorts are underneath where you're sitting. I need you off the couch pl－" I stopped myself before saying please, manners sucked sometimes. But I refused to be nice and polite, they barged into my suite and sat on my shorts, I had no reason to be polite.
The looks on their faces though, those were priceless.
I clicked my tongue. "Dirty birds." I shook my head holding in my laughter. "Really, is that all you think about? My, my, such scandalous thoughts." I turned my head to Kam and frowned, he was scowling at me. "I expected better from you, but," I turned my gaze to Landon now, his jaw was still slack. "I expected nothing less from you, pervert."
I wrinkled my nose in disgust before crossing my arms over my chest.
Kam's eyes noticed the movement, his eyes now ogled at my chest. I kicked his shins. "My eyes are up here, Kam, or should I call you pervert now?" His eyes snapped to mine for a moment, realizing what he did and that I caught him. He didn't apologize though, he laughed.
"No, I think that title still applies to him." He chuckled.
I turned my head to Landon and instantly kicked him as well. He was leaned forward, openly staring. Per-vert.
He yelped and finally drew his eyes away from my chest. I dropped my arms so they wouldn't cause any more distractions. "Move, please." I silently cursed myself for being polite but they did as they were told. They stepped away and allowed me to search the couch for my shorts. I leaned down to dig my hands through the sides, my finger caught on the material, I was just pulling it free when Landon whistled from behind me.
"Damn you have a nice ass."
I scoffed, bringing my shorts up from the couch.
"Landon," Kam growled in warning. My ears perked up at that. What was he so upset about? Was he trying to protect me or was he seriously angry for Landon checking out my ass?
I turned around, Kam was glaring at Landon as he laughed. "Sorry, won't happen again." He crossed an X across his heart and winked again.
Kam's angry gaze turned to me now. "Would you please put on those shorts and stop giving Landon any ideas?" He demanded.
I clicked my tongue. "He should be able to control himself," I snarled back. "No one told him to stare."
"It was right in front of us," Kam ground out.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "And?" Disdain dripped off my tongue. He was a fool if he thought he was going to win this time. Don't barge into my place and get mad at me for walking around how I see fit.
Asshole.
Kam clenched his jaw before rolling his eyes at me.
Landon placed an arm on Kam's shoulder than mine. I tried my hardest not to jerk away. Tried so fucking hard to not scream. I did not want hands on my bare skin. "Please, don't have a brawl right now. I'm sorry. I will control myself from now on. Well, I'll try." He chuckled, squeezing both of our shoulders. I screamed despite myself and scrambled away from both of them.
Blinking back the tears I hadn't wanted them to see.
I shoved on my shorts and walked as far away from them as possible.
I needed to calm down.
He's not them.
They aren't them.
He wasn't touching me like that to hurt me. He was being friendly, Ember. He wasn't trying to touch you that way.
Calm down.
I counted down from ten then back up.
"Are you all right?" Kam asked from behind me. I didn't look back at them. I continued counting until my breathing was even and my heart stopped pounding.
"Mhm," I muttered, catching my breath. "I'm fine."
I turned then, both males had worry stretched across their features, which confused me. Why were they worried?
"Was it something I did? I didn't mean to hurt you." Landon asked, his voice grave. He seemed genuinely upset.
I sighed through my nose. "No, it's me." I admitted, I didn't know why but I did. "I have a problem with people touching my skin . . . without permission."
Landon's face fell. "I'm so sorry, Ember－"
I waved him off, making my way back over to him. "It's okay, you didn't know." I gave him a sad smile. "Sometimes I don't even notice, other times I freak out. I get these episodes. I just have to remind myself I'm not there and I'm far away." My eyes widened. Why did I just tell them that? What was wrong with me? I never talked about Brallen.
Both males stared at me sadly. I raised an angry finger at them.
"Stop it."
"What?" Kam asked.
"Pitying me," I explained. "Wipe those sad looks off your faces."
He sighed, running a hand through his styled hair. "Fair enough."
I let out a long breath, nodding my head.
Landon shook his head. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
I smiled sadly at him. "It's all right to touch me, but if you want to touch a place that has my skin exposed, ask please."
He nodded, and so did Kam. "Of course."
I shook my body, enough of this sad pity crap. I wanted to go swimming. I strode into my room and grabbed a towel before slinging it across my shoulder and slipping into my flats.
I turned to see them standing waiting by my door. I smiled.
"Ready to drown, boys?" I asked, waggling my brows.
Landon narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'd like to see you try, babe." Landon's eyes were hard but I could see the challenge and amusement spark through.
I stuck my tongue out at him. I glanced over at Kam, he was smiling faintly. "Don't even think you're safe, Bob." I promised with death in my eyes.
His eyes lit up, and I swallowed back the lump that decided to make an appearance in my throat. He leaned down and smirked, wicked intent spiraling through those gold eyes. I forced myself to not shift from one foot to the other. I forced myself to stare him down.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Hannah." He said leaning close. "But, I hope you remembered what I promised you that day in the alley. And if I'm not safe, neither are you."
He grinned before pulling away and striding out of the suite, leaving me there standing and my heart flipping inside my chest.
Well, okay then.
♢♢♢
Kam and Landon had led us down through the city and straight to the bridge. I had really wished I had Emile's map so I could look it over and show them his amazing drawings. But we had already left and were nearing the creek. We passed the bridge while walking through the forest. I glanced at Kam to see him smiling at me, knowingly. I winked at him which earned me a snort.
Apparently Landon was right. I had completely missed the creek, I don't know how I did because it was right in the open. But I somehow did.
It was pretty, but small and extremely shallow. I whirled on him. "You expect us to swim in this? It's as deep as a pixie."
He wrinkled his nose. "Your little faith in me shows." He sighed. "We have to follow it downstream, it breaks off into a lagoon." He indicated with his hand downstream. Great, there was more walking.
Kam must have been able to see my irritation because he snorted. "The walk is worth it." He promised.
I narrowed my eyes. "I'll be the judge of that." And with that I pushed past both males and started to walk downstream, and for the hell of it I swayed my hips a bit, just to piss them off further.
Landon groaned from behind but then began to cough, I looked over my shoulder to see Landon clutching his stomach, Kam no doubt elbowed him in the stomach. I grinned before turning back around. But they didn't stay behind me, probably so Landon wouldn't get elbowed for looking at my ass and bare legs again.
They were a pair of princesses, that was for sure.
Kam came up on my right and Landon on my left. We walked in silence for about a minute before Landon threw his arms up in the air, exasperated.
I rolled my eyes. "What, princess?" Kam snorted but said nothing.
"I don't like the silence, it feels awkward." Landon mumbled.
I shook my head. "No it doesn't, it feels comfortable. Have you never walked with someone before in comfortable silence?"
He gave me an exasperated look.
"I guess not," I sighed. "What would you like to discuss then?"
He perked up at that. "What's your life like as a Bastard?" He asked me.
My mood instantly dropped, I was open to having idle chit chat, but talking about my own personal life? No thanks. It was one thing being able to tolerate them but it didn't mean I had to tell them about my life. They weren't entitled to any of it. None.
"Long," I answered.
"Long? Why is it long?" He continued, I sighed through my nose and kicked a pebble while we continued walking downstream. Why was he pushing? Someone really didn't know how to read a room. Or a person, for that matter. Perhaps he truly didn't care or notice. "I work all day everyday. My hours are long and tiring and I can never seem to catch a break." I admitted, spilling the tiniest amount of truth, hoping that would placate him.
"Do you have a schedule?" He asked, more curious than before.
"No," I said. "My mistress sends me out whenever I'm needed."
"So you work around her schedule?"
"Pretty much."
He opened his mouth to continue on but he couldn't, because we had reached the lagoon. It was absolutely stunning. My mouth dropped. It was such a brilliant blue it made my eyes hurt. I felt like I was in a novel, where they describe how beautiful the waters are and they feel at a loss for words. That was me. I didn't know how to describe it. You couldn't describe it. It was that beautiful words failed me.
There were lily pads with little flowers blooming around its vines. White flowers with a touch of dust rose on the petals. There were willow trees, encasing the entirety of the lagoon, long weeping willows with gigantic branches that I could barely see because of the long leaves. My fingers itched to touch the leaves, to it rub it against the pad of my thumb.
The sun cast down an amber hue across the grotto, making it appear darker than it was. The sun was high, but with the weeping willows there wasn't much let in. I couldn't even imagine what this place looked like at night. I wondered if fireflies came in and lit up the area. It seemed like a very romantic place to be, but unfortunately I was with the two big oafs and I didn't feel the slightest bit romanticized by it.
We were at a ledge that spilled into the lagoon, the creek water falling into the bright waters below us.
I looked to the boys, Landon was stripping out of his clothing while Kam was staring at me, a content smile on his lips. The minute he caught me looking it vanished and a seductive smile took its place, that insanely charming dimple appearing.
I stuck my tongue out at him while rolling my eyes.
"What're you two waiting for?" Landon demanded, he pulled his shirt off from behind him, allowing me to appreciate his sculpted chest. It was bad enough both cousins were very attractive, but they were ripped too? Not fair. And not a single scar to be seen on Landon's chest. He looked like uncut porcelain. I wanted to dig my nails into his skin, just to make him less perfect, I don't think it would have done much. But it would have made me feel better.
Landon threw his shirt to the ground, leaving him in only his undershorts before he dove straight into the water. He swam out for a bit before resurfacing, midnight hair drenched across his forehead, he pushed it back before grinning at us. "Coming?"
I glanced at Kam, he shrugged before stripping as well. He took off his shirt first. For fucks sake. He was ripped too. Pure muscle. But unlike Landon's clear unscarred chest, Kam had scars. Thin ones. One at his collarbone, that ran down to his peck. Another across his abdomen. One above his belly button. He had scars. He wasn't perfect, but somehow he still was. His body looked like a map, and his scars were the countries and cities. It was a map of where he'd been and who he was. And he was stunning.
I was envious, his scars looked interesting﹣sexy. Mine did not.
Mine were appalling. Disgusting. I felt disgusted in my own skin.
Kam dropped his shirt before undoing the zipper on his trousers. I held my breath watching him remove his pants and take his long khaki-coloured legs out. His limbs looked strong, powerful. His thighs were lean yet wide and with each step he took they tightened and stretched. He looked like a warrior. Yet, so did Landon. They looked like Kings.
Kam strode to the ledge and cannonballed into the water, making Landon chuckle. Kam swam out for a while, not surfacing until he was far past Landon. Show off.
He popped up a metre away from Landon. He took in a deep breath with a wide smile on his face. His dark hair clung to his forehead but he made no move to push it away.
He inclined his head. "Come on, Hannah. You think you can do better?"
Landon leaned back in the water, floating on his back. "I would say he's challenging you."
I deadpanned. "Really,"
"Just get in already!" Landon yelled, I scrunched my face at him even though he couldn't see me.
I began to peel off my shorts. Kam's eyes were on me. Watching my every movement, every breath I took. His gaze travelled down to my legs watching as I slowly removed the clothing from my body. My cheeks heated, thank the gods he couldn't see me well from all the way out there, I would have been mortified.
I shucked off my shorts and dropped my towel. Slipping out of my flats I moved towards the ledge, with a little run I jumped off the ledge while flipping into the water. Was I showing off? Why yes, yes I was.
The cool water hit me like a blow to the chest, but I didn't let it stop me. I dove deep and swam out. Pushing my arms forward and propelling myself with my legs and feet. I would get farther than both of them. I knew I would. I knew how to save my breath, how to train my lungs. This was just like that. It also helped that I've been waterboarded multiple times and know what I can handle and what I can't.
Brallen helped increase my lung capacity, but so did Minette. She trained us to be able to withstand any type of torture. Torture was inevitable with our line of work and we needed to be prepared for all of it. Luckily, I was.
I pushed and pushed and pushed until I felt like I was far enough out, when my lungs were burning and my eyes stinging I resurfaced. I took in a mouth full of air before pushing my dark curls away from my face and looking for the idiots. Landon was a couple metres away with his mouth open, staring at me. Kam was two metres away grinning wickedly. I couldn't help but grin as well.
I gave a half bow before swimming over to Kam. Landon had made his way over. "How did you not die?" He asked, still gaping.
"I was trained to increase my lung capacity," I snorted. "It also helps when you've been waterboarded." I joked.
Kam's grin left immediately. "What?" He barked. "You've been﹣"
"Yes, it's not a big deal. I was trying to be funny." I said sheepishly. I really was, I thought they'd laugh with me instead of staring at me with those sad and angry faces. I rolled my eyes. "It's in the past. It doesn't matter."
"Ember﹣" I didn't let Kam finish before pouncing on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and dragging his head underwater. He was so startled he didn't react until it was too late. Landon howled as I tried to push Kam's head underwater. He sprang up, sputtering. I gave him a wicked grin before diving under and going for Landon instead. Somehow both males were able to touch the ground. It was because they were so freaking tall. But I was tall, too. I was not considered short, yet I felt tiny compared to them.
I swam and wrapped my arms around Landon's waist and yanked him under, I could hear a garbled yelp before he sank under. I flashed him a grin before darting away, trying my hardest to swim as far and fast away as possible from them.
Something caught my foot, yanking me backwards. I jerked away and kicked until my foot hit flesh and I heard a groan. I broke through the water, blinking back the water in my lashes as I stared at both boys. They were both advancing on me.
"It's no fair we can't touch you," Landon grumbled.
I laughed. "This is different, if you have the opportunity, you can, but I won't let you get remotely close to me, though, pervert." I smiled sweetly.
Without another word I darted back underneath the water, diving right for Kam's feet. I wrapped my body around his leg and began to whip him off his feet. He attempted to kick me off of him, but it was no use. He was already falling into the water.
His eyes met mine for a moment, before his arms jerked out grabbing my tank top and pulling me towards him. He pulled me against his chest and flipped us underwater. He winked before pushing me farther down to the bottom. I glared at him and tried grabbing his foot again but then suddenly both feet were gone. So were Landon's. I jerked around, searching for them, until I felt hands around my stomach pulling me through the water.
I yelped as we broke through. Kam was holding me, his arms under my thighs and shoulders. He grinned, wolfishly, then threw me back into the water. I gasped, my ass hitting the water first.
I sank down to the bottom.
I had a wicked idea. It was evil, but it'd be funny as hell.
I made my body limp and let my muscles relax, willing them to look asleep. With my arms out in front of me, I sank to the bottom. My rear hitting the sandy floor first, then my back and legs. I slammed my eyes shut and waited. Waited patiently.
I could be down here for at least five minutes, Minette used to make us practice swimming and diving, while also holding our breath. She would push us every day, increasing the amount of time we could stay underwater before we needed to come up for air. It sucked, but it worked. I can survive underwater for a while before needing air.
The waters were deep enough and dark enough that they could probably make my figure out but not fully see me. I could see their torsos' lingering around me, but they didn't step forward. Probably realizing that I can be down here for some time and not need air, and knowing I'm up to something. I needed to stay down here for longer, then to throw them off. Which meant I had to start taking fewer breaths and letting my lungs calm. Willing my body to cooperate with me. To hold on.
The water around me was sloshing back and forth, seeming agitated. Landon and Kam were agitated. They probably couldn't decide if I was doing this for show or actually drowning.
But it had only been about three minutes, I could hold on for two more before my lungs decided to protest. They were already starting to tingle and my heart was racing.
Someone was shuffling around, nearing me. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt someone break through the water and swim up to me. Hands waved in front of my face before I was being lifted from the bottom of the water. We broke through, I didn't breathe through my mouth, it would have been a dead giveaway. I didn't breathe at all, actually, I still had two more minutes until my lungs would start burning. So, I held my breath as I was pulled from the water and held in strong arms. My cheek was pressed up against a hard chest.
"Ember!"
I was leaned up against Kam, his bark rumbled through his body and pushed up against my cheek.
"Shit," Landon cursed, he sloshed through the water towards us. "Did she hit her head on something when you threw her?"
Kam sucked in a breath. "Gods, I don't think so﹣"
That was my opportunity, and I struck. Like a viper; fast and viscous. I elbowed Kam in the stomach. He gasped, losing his hold on me. I swung around and jumped on his back, forcing him under the water. I kicked his shins for good measure and then struck Landon. He tried darting out of the way but I was faster. I grabbed his waist and used all my strength to pick him up and throw him under. People are lighter in water though, so it wasn't all that hard. He cursed the entire time and sank to the bottom.
I swam a little away from them and smiled.
That was fun.
Kam and Landon both broke through the water at the same time. Sputtering and glaring. I howled with laughter.
"We thought you were dead!" Kam yelled.
"Next time we'll let you drown," Landon coughed.
I brushed back my tears and grinned at both of them. "That was fun." I beamed.
Landon began to curse me to every inferno he could think of. I ended up floating onto my back while he went off on a tangent on how much of a brat I was being and that he and Kam were very concerned over my well being, he told me that I should be touched that they both cared enough to actually check on my health.
I tuned him out with a smile on my face. It was the most fun I'd had in a very long time. The first time I had an easy smile on my face, one that wasn't forced. It felt natural and free. I felt free. I liked it.
We spent the rest of the morning lounging around and talking, Landon and Kam refused to play any other games with me because I played "dirty" and "unfairly" which was true but sucked. I wanted to do something more fun, but I was completely fine swimming around the beautiful lagoon while talking to them. It felt nice, conversation didn't feel forced or awkward, it felt like we were all friends, and I liked that. Even if it was Bob and pervert I was friends with. I could do a lot worse.
"Shit," Landon muttered. "I'm late."
I pushed the hair out of my face and looked over at him. Kam and I had been swimming underneath the water and trying to find pretty rocks. We both stopped swimming to turn back to Landon.
Kam nodded his head. "We'll see you later." He said in farewell.
Landon began to swim hastily back to shore. When he got there he quickly put his clothes on. While zipping up his pants his eyes locked with mine. "Want to grab dinner later?" He asked.
I pondered it, Reighla hadn't asked me to dinner tonight, but I wasn't sure I should go, it was one thing to hangout with them, but dinner? I didn't know about that﹣
"We'll pay," He continued.
I grinned. "Deal,"
Landon snorted before shoving on his boots and vanishing. Leaving me and Kam alone in the lagoon.
I turned to look back at Kam but he was gone. I knitted my brows together in confusion. He was just there a moment ago﹣
"Boo," He whispered in my ear. I yelped and whirled around. He was incredibly close, our chests were nearly touching. His head was dipped as he stared me in the eyes, bright gold eyes holding mine.
He smiled, crookedly, that infuriating dimple appearing. "What're we to do now that Landon is gone?" He asked me, his voice low and thick.
I swallowed back the lump that rose in my throat. His closeness was sending heat to my stomach, to my cheeks, I prayed he couldn't see it, but he was Kam, he saw everything.
I tilted my head up to him. "Got any ideas?"
His smile furthered. "A few,"
His hands came around my waist, resting on the back of my tank top, he didn't touch any of my bare skin. He tugged me a bit, until our chests pressed together. My breathing was heavy, heavier than I would've liked. But my body always seemed to react to Kam without my permission. It longed for him. His touch, his gaze, his skin. It wanted all of him, and I couldn't tell if it was just my body reacting to him, or if it really was me instead. I knew I shouldn't. That I shouldn't indulge him. I shouldn't start anything when I was leaving soon. But then again, I was leaving in three weeks, I could do whatever I wanted to do and not deal with the consequences.
Kam's head dipped, his mouth brushing up against my ears, I fought the shudder creeping up on me.
"What if we spent the next couple of hours like this?" He whispered, his breath fanning across the side of my cheek.
"Like this?" I repeated, a little breathless.
I felt him smile. "In eachothers arms'," Kam said. "It would definitely make time go faster."
"Someone thinks highly of themselves," I replied. "What makes you think I want to be close to you?"
He chuckled, I felt it rumble through his chest. "Then tell me to move, and I won't be close to you."
The hand on my waist began to draw small circles on top of my shirt. Goosebumps pimpled across my skin. "Tell me to move," He repeated.
I stood there, frozen. My pride told me to push him off me, to yell at him and kick him and call him every curse word I could think of. Yet, my mind and body didn't want him to move. My body liked his bare chest pushed up against mine. Liked the feel of his warm body. Liked his fingers drawing circles on my back. And maybe my heart didn't want him to move, too.
I didn't move and I didn't utter a word. My lips remained shut. My body stiff yet satisfied. He didn't move either. He was waiting for my answer. He needed me to say it outloud, because if I told him to back off he would. I knew I didn't know him long but I knew that if I was uncomfortable he'd leave me alone in a millisecond. My heart warmed at that.
I sighed through my nose. "I don't want you to move," I murmured.
His palms flattened against my back, he pulled away from my ear to look me in the eye. His gold eyes were shining in the dim lagoon, the reflection of the water shimmering in his amber irises. Midnight hair stuck to his forehead. Beyond my better judgement, I pushed the hair away. My fingers gently moved the wet hair off his stunning face.
His eyes darkened, watching me, something I couldn't make out flashed through him. He looked a little shocked, but he pushed it back, he pushed it away and his lips kicked up in a crooked grin.
"What do you want, Ember?" My heart picked up when my name left his perfect lips. I looked up at him. My eyes met his intense gaze. He could see the answer in my eyes, he could see what I wanted, but he needed me to say it outloud. He needed my permission. I wanted to kick my own ass for telling them that I have a problem being touched sometimes. It doesn't happen every time, but sometimes it flares up out of nowhere and there is nothing I can do to stop it. They had touched me before and I had never reacted that way. But Landon touching me triggered me earlier.
Kam needed me to say out loud what I wanted. I needed to say it too.
"I want you to touch me," I murmured. "Touch me."
Kam's eyes lit up.
His hands left my back and twined themselves into my hair, he pulled my head up gently to his eye level, angling my face towards his. My throat bobbed in anticipation, but it never came. He seemed to study my face instead. He looked over every little dent, his eyes roving over my freckles and no doubt my acne. I felt incredibly self conscious. He was staring at the flaws I couldn't hide with clothing.
I looked away from him, but he pushed my face back with his finger.
"My favourite part," He said.
My brows furrowed. "What?"
He tapped the clump of freckles on either side of face. "They're my favourite part of your face." He clarified. My face heated. "Your eyes are stunning, your mouth's perfect, your nose is cute, but your freckles are gorgeous. They make you even more beautiful." My eyes widened. I had not expected him to say that. I hadn't known what he was going to say, but that was certainly not it, that was for sure.
Moisture pooled in my eyes, I had never been complimented like that before. Minette complimented me on my skills. Reighla complimented my body and gazed at me for too long. But no one had ever told me that things I'm insecure about were beautiful. Never. I blinked back my tears and tried to tear my gaze away from him, but I couldn't. I was enthralled by him.
He wrapped a finger around one of my curls. "My second favourite." He told me, running his thumb over the hair on his finger.
"It's beautiful," He murmured. "You're beautiful."
I opened my mouth but he silenced me with his lips covering mine. My body was stiff, I didn't know how to react, well not until his lips began to move against mine, then I turned to mush and kissed him back.
His hands were in my hair again, angling my face up towards his, my hands wrapped around his bare back. My lips moved feverishly against his, his breath mingling with mine, sending a very wanted shiver through me. Making my stomach flutter and float inside of me. His tongue clashed with mine, teeth scraped against teeth. I wanted to savour every moment of this, this was such passion and heat that my heart was stammering and beating irregular and fast.
His elongated canines nipped my lower lip, getting a small moan from me. His touch alone was sending flares through me. My body was like putty, and was weak to his touch. I had been with many men but never it had felt so . . . hot. Kam was so fucking hot. His mouth was so experienced moving against mine, his lips claimed mine with a searing kiss that made my limbs numb. I couldn't feel anything but him.
He grunted into my mouth before his hands left my hair and found their way under my thighs. I gasped as he lifted me from the ground and placed me around his hips. My legs wrapped around them, instantly. My arms came around his shoulders, pressing him as hard as I could to me. Not wanting any space between us. I had debated pulling off my tank top and speeding all of this along, because the ache between my thighs was pulsing and I needed him. I needed him there. But I couldn't pull it off, not without him seeing my scars. Majority were on my back and so was that word, but there were some on my stomach, one underneath my left breast, two between my thighs. I didn't want him to see them. Not yet, at least. So I kept my needy hands on his shoulders.
He kept one arm folded around my back and one in the roots of my curls. He wrenched my head back, I groaned a bit, but more from pleasure than pain. His lips left mine to leave hungry passionate kisses all over my neck. He scraped his teeth against my throat, I arched against him, earning me a grunt of approval before his lips were back on my skin. Sucking and licking against the sensitive spot behind my ear. How he knew it was there, I'll never know. He was driving me crazy. I wanted him everywhere.
My fingers combed through his wet hair, pushing him closer against me. He chuckled against my skin. "So needy," He murmured in between kisses. He trailed his lips up my throat and across my jaw. He nipped and scrapped and then kissed and licked the hurt away. "I like this side of you." He continued. "Pushing my head against you," his teeth scraped against my cheek, I shuddered.
"Tell me, Ember," he purred. "Would you be doing the same if my head was between your thighs?"
My only response was a moan, he chuckled again.
"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you," he told me. "Ever since the bridge, the bookstore, the alley, I've been imagining some very inappropriate things to do with you."
My head fell back and my eyes fluttered shut as I let his kisses consume me. "Like what?" I asked, breathlessly.
"They're very dirty, they cannot be spoken aloud."
I opened my eyes just to roll them. "What, scared you'll scar the birds and squirrels ears'?"
He yanked my hair a bit, I gasped. "Sarcastic thing," He said. "No, I am not worried about the birds and squirrels. I only want you to hear them and no one else, and unfortunately, we are not alone."
All feelings of lust left me at that. My body tensed, becoming stiff. My head snapped into place, looking for anyone, any prying eyes. I scanned the lagoon, but all I could make out was the weeping willows. Perhaps they were hiding in the trees, making sure we couldn't see them?
I couldn't see anyone . . .
Kam's voice rang out from beneath me, booming laughter, sure enough to make our lurker hear. I jerked my head to him and slapped his shoulder.
"What are you doing?" I hissed. "You said we weren't alone."
He continued to laugh. I stared at him incredulously. What was he doing? If someone was seriously here . . . oh, that asshole.
"You're an ass," I told him.
He continued to laugh as he let go of my hair and buried his face in my neck. Now I really didn't know what he was doing.
I didn't know how to be affectionate. I could kiss, I could fuck, and I could leave. That's all I knew how to do. This? What the Hell was this?
Was I supposed to pat him, or rub his shoulder, or did I just stand here and let him do . . . this?
I didn't know.
But I was angry at him, so I refused to touch him, well, touch him more. I was holding onto his shoulders but that was because I had to. Where else was I supposed to put them? Have them hang limply at my side? No.
"That wasn't funny," I reprimanded, which made him laugh more. I smacked him lightly again.
"You should have seen your face," he laughed. I ground my teeth and tried to slip away, down his body and swim away.
We had our moment and now it was over. He ruined it. And now that it was done I didn't feel like being pressed up against him. Actually, that was a lie, I really liked it. But I was more angry at myself for letting myself be close to him. Instead of pushing him away keeping things strictly platonic.
Gods knew that wasn't true. I hadn't wanted him to be my friend the minute I saw him. I wanted to touch him, I wanted to kiss every crevice of his body, I wanted to be pressed up against him. But the way things were going meant that there was no way we could be one simple hookup. I could tell he didn't plan on leaving. That he was going to stay and keep coming back.
That scared me.
Kam wouldn't let me go, his arms tightened around my waist. His fingers began to draw those damn circles again, undoing me again.
I slumped against him, letting him hold me, letting myself enjoy it, even if it wasn't for forever.
My heart kicked up again when his lips started to move against my skin. Trailing kisses lazily down my neck and to my chest. He looked up at me briefly, his eyes had darkened once more, hunger filling those bright orbs. Although his eyes were hungry there was something else in them. He was asking me a silent question. Asking me if it was okay.
"Please," I said arching my chest to him, giving him more room and letting my head fall back. His only warning was a small growl before his face was pressed up against my chest. Kissing the bare skin there. Kissing and sucking against my chest.
Gods I had wanted to rip my shirt off, but I couldn't move. I was limp in his arms as his lips devoured me. He buried his head in some of the exposed skin of my breasts at the top of my tank top. I arched into him, while sucking in a sharp breath as one of his hands left my back to cup my breast over top my shirt. He groaned against me.
I felt like I was going to burst into flames, his lips set me on fire with every kiss he pressed to me. I wanted him badly. My legs and thighs were aching, I squeezed them against his hips, wiggling against him. He hissed out a breath. I gasped when I felt him pressed against me. The hard length of him pressed against his undershorts. I smiled with the knowledge that I was affecting him as much as he was affecting me.
"Don't be getting cocky," He said, lifting his head from my breasts and removing his hand from me. My smile quickly vanished, a frown taking its place as his hand and lips left my skin.
But then I snorted. I lowered my face to see him. His lips were puffy and red from kissing. A smile took over my features again, looking at his swollen lips, knowing I was the cause of them.
"What are you laughing at?" He asked.
"You said 'don't be getting cocky'," I informed him. "I think I should be the one saying that, don't you think?"
He flicked my nose, then out of nowhere threw me into the water. I yelped, inhaling a mouthful of water in the process. I swam to the surface sputtering and coughing.
"Jackass!" I spat, he chuckled before making his way over to me. He grabbed my hand, tugging me back to him. He dropped a quick kiss to my lips before pulling me through the lagoon. I had to swim until my feet were able to finally grasp the sandy floor. Kam pulled me up and onto the ledge.
"Dry off and we'll start heading back," He said. "I'll drop you off at the hotel for you to change then Landon and I will grab you for dinner, sound good?" He asked. I smiled and nodded before toweling myself off and slipping my shorts and flats back on. Since my feet were wet I kept sliding in the shoes. Kam grabbed my hand to steady me and never let go. He intertwined our fingers and we began to walk back.
At one point he took my wet towel from off of my back and slung it on his shoulder.
"Thanks," I said with a smile.
He raised our intertwined fingers and kissed the back of my hand. My cheeks heated and my heart flipped
Kam walked me back to the hotel, we chatted the whole way back. It felt nice, it felt . . . new. I had never done this before, I didn't know how to act, but Kam did and I mirrored him.
I felt extremely comfortable around him. I felt like I could tell him everything. I wouldn't though. Not yet, at least. If this went somewhere, I would. I'd tell him everything about me. I'd share the darkest parts of me with someone. He felt like the right person to share all of it with.
Kam felt safe.
When we entered the hotel I expected him to leave me at the entrance, but he walked me the entire way to my room. Never letting go of my hand.
We reached my door, I unlocked it and strode in, but he pulled me back, right into his chest. He kissed me, fiercely and hungrily. It left me breathless and dazed when he pulled away. He smiled down at me and tucked a loose curl behind my ear. I beamed up at him.
"Thank you for walking me, although I would have been perfectly fine on my own, thank you very much." I turned my nose up at him, he chuckled, doing exactly what I wanted him to do. I laughed along with him.
"It was my pleasure," Kam said. "I know you can walk back on your own, but if I'm being truthful, I was the one who needed you, I was scared of being attacked and I needed you to protect me." He pouted. I stuck my tongue out at him and tried walking into the suite again but he pulled me back.
"Two hours, is that enough time to get ready?" He asked. I nodded. "Yup, plenty. Thank you."
"I wanted to tell you to wear something hot, but I think you could wear a burlap sack and look stunning."
I tilted my head back and chuckled. "You really think so?"
His face mocked seriousness. "Oh, I know so. This is no joking matter, Ember. You could make people stop dead in their tracks in it."
"Yeah, because of how ridiculous I would look." I snorted.
"Then I'd have to kill them," Kam said. "For not appreciating your sack."
I chuckled again. "You're such a dork."
He scrunched up his face. "I resent that, just because I think you'd look hot in a large brown sack does not make me﹣"
"You're stalling." I deadpanned.
"I am not﹣"
I reached up on my toes and planted a kiss on his lips. Hoping that was the right thing to do, what a girl in a relationship would do. When I pulled away he was grinning.
"Okay maybe I was stalling," He agreed. "Or maybe I just wanted you to kiss me and I wanted to kiss you back. Maybe I was hoping it'd lead to me pressing you up against this wall and﹣"
I disentangled myself from him and danced away from his reach.
"Goodbye Kam."
He frowned as he leaned up against the door frame. "That wasn't very nice, I want you back here please﹣"
I chuckled. "I'll see you in two hours." I told him.
"Two hours," he growled.
I nodded. He opened his mouth but I closed the door in his face, laughing. "Cruel creature," he yelled.
I laughed again before running into my room and flopping on my bed. I couldn't help but smile while I stared at the ceiling.
Today was a good day.
A/N: chapters 31 and 32 will be up later tonight but I felt like posting 30 now, so enjoy :)