Y/N's POV
I waved Namjoon goodbye and turned around. I immediately saw Soo Yeon coming to me.
Soo Yeon is my best friend . She stayed by me the longest. All the dating advices I know now were given by her. " Y/n ah , what's with that smile? You are creeping me out."
"It's nothing".
"Was it Namjoon again? Ah good for you."
I playfully hit her as we walk inside.
EVENING
I looked at myself for a millionth time. I was satisfied yet unsure. Honestly I haven't been on many dates with Namjoon. We always hung out at home ,chatting , watching movies, bickering. And its been a while since I dressed up. Especially for him. I really wanted to look good. Though we live in same house , Namjoon insisted on waiting for me and picking me up. I looked at myself in the mirror for the last time and walked downstairs. As I went down I was greeted by a handsome hunk. My handsome hunk. He was looking 'I can't stop staring' handsome. Man, how can he look so effortlessly good. I smiled as I waved at him. He walked towards me.
" Hey, beautiful"
"Joon, you look really good"
"Ah, no. I wanted to tell you first. Y/n you look so gorgeous."
I blushed as we got into the car.
We went on a dinner date .We talked, we ate, we laughed .Whatever we did he didn't stop staring at me. I was flustered but I had to get used to it . I knew he wasn't going to stop any soon. I spoke up finally, as we went on a walk after dinner.
" Namjoon ah , stop staring at me. It feels weird."
" I love you"
I was left speechless. Even though he tells it often, it gives me butterflies every time. I rarely give him an answer back. I don't know why the hell I do that. I couldn't tell that to him in words. He never expected me to say it back. I wanted to tell him that I love him. So I stood tip toed, gently to kiss him. All the words I couldn't tell him. All the love I had for him. I kissed him. I knew it flustered him. I never take an initiative. He was surprised at first ,but he bent down. I was on the ground again. He pulled me closer, a hand on my waist, looked into my eyes as if he knew what I wanted to tell. I put my hand on his chest. I heard his heart beating fast. I don't know if he knew but I was the same.
He kissed me back.
TIME SKIP - 1 MONTH
Y/N'S POV
Last month has been wonderful .We went on a lot of great dates. We did little things that gave us immense joy. Everything he does , it makes me go bonkers . Literally every thing . His dimple smile. The way he holds my hand . It makes me feel safe and secure. Sometimes I think was it too much to feel like this when your in love. Then it comes to my mind that I am hopelessly in love. And I do love that fact.
It's been a week since Namjoon joined his father's company. We weren't graduates yet, but his father insisted on to help him. So he had to join. I know it has been stressful for him this whole week. He had to manage both college and work. I couldn't help but to be worried. I was even more worried since he didn't come back home last night. I was a little upset and angry yet concerned. I was thinking about him , then I heard door unlocking. I ran into the hall. I was shocked at the sight I was seeing. He was a mess.
"Namjoon you stink . Where have you been?".
" I was so stressed yesterday, I drank with friends."
I looked at him seriously. "It isn't a problem that you are drunk, you should have told me first .Now, go bath".
"Sorry".
I looked at his state as he went inside. He was a complete mess. It must have been hard. I cooked him a meal while he was bathing. I was terrible at cooking yet I tried.
" Joon , lunch is ready ". I shout as he came and sat beside me. He didn't talk a word , which was so unlike of him.
" Joon, did it burn? Is it bad?".
"No , it is good", he smiled. Something was off. It isn't like him. He must have had a hard day. He was smiling but his eyes were saying something else. So I wanted to make him feel better. I walked to him and sat beside him on the couch. I slowly moved closer to him and hugged him tight. I cuddled him. Then I pulled him closer, brushed his hair. I cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. I wanted to make him feel cozy. I wanted to tell him he was loved.
NAMJOON'S POV
She cuddled me . She kissed me. I know she wanted to make me feel better. I hugged her tight and close.
"Sorry"
"It is okay. It happens sometimes. Tell me beforehand next time". She said.
But the sorry I just said wasn't for that. No matter how hard I was trying to push them away , the memories of last night were coming back. I wanted to hide it. It is better this way. We can be like this . I still want us together. I regret it. I was thinking all this but seeing her smile was killing me. Guilt was eating me up. I can't do this to her. I was wrong. She doesn't deserve this. Yet she kept caring about me . She was still worried about me. She doesn't know. I don't want to hurt her ,I already did but she doesn't know yet. I know I was drunk but that wasn't an excuse. I did a mistake. It is still a mistake. I love her. I can't hurt her. I can't do this any more. Even if it hurts I can't hide it. I shouldn't.
"Y/n", I call her.
"Hmm". she looked up.
My heart was breaking.
With tears in my eyes, " I cheated on you",I said.
Yes, I cheated on her. It was unintentional. I didn't want it. Yet it was a mistake. There is no excuse. I did a mistake.
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