"Rej."
I slowly opened my eyes when I heard someone is calling my name. Mas lalong nagising ang diwa ko nang may yumugyog sa akin.
"Ivan, stop." I heard Kuya Raine's voice.
"Is she okay, Uncle?"
"Yes."
I saw Kuya Raine and Ivan's worried faces in front of me. Umupo ako sa kama at inalalayan ako ni Kuya Raine. Hinawakan ko ang ulo ko nang makaramdam ako nang pangingirot doon.
"Anong nangyari?"
"Mommy, is your head painful? I am sorry. I think you passed out because I was so hard headed a while ago. Sorry." Umiiyak na sabi ni Ivan.
"I passed out? Why?" Tanong ko kay Kuya Raine. "Stop crying, baby." I told Ivan.
"Oo. Nakita nalang kita na hinimatay sa harap ng pintuan. Napano ka ba? Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo?"
Bakit nga ba ako hinimatay? Ni hindi ko na nga maalala kung bakit?
"I-I don't know. I don't remember anything."
"May masakit ba sa'yo?"
"Ang sakit sakit ng ulo ko." I said and I massaged my temple because it feels like my nerves in my head are pounding.
"Here. Drink this. Take a rest for now and bukas nalang tayo umuwi sa atin."
Umiling ako at kinuha ko ang gamot sakaniya. I don't want to stay here anymore. Hiyang hiya ako sa gulong nangyayari. Ayaw ko rin munang makasama si Kuya Red after what I did to him. I used him and made him feel that it was him whom I wanted to be with.
"Give me one hour. After one hour, umalis na tayo." I said and went back to bed.
"Ako nang mag aayos ng mga gamit niyo. Kukunin ko nalang 'yung mga bagay na importante." Kuya said and I just nodded and I closed my eyes.
"Mommy, are you really okay?" Dinig kong tanong ni Ivan sa akin. I felt his head on my chest and he is hugging me.
"I am baby. Don't worry about me."
"I'm really sorry, Mommy. Sorry for acting like that a while ago. I was a bad kid."
"Ivan." Yinakap ko siya at inalo alo ko ang likuran niya.
"I just really wanted to be with Dad, Mommy."
"M-me too." I answered at dinig ko ang mahinang pagkabigla niya. "But let Mommy heal first, okay? Let Mommy forgive Daddy first." Inaantok na sabi ko.
"I will, Mommy."
"I love you."
"I love you." He said and I felt his lips on my lips which made me smile.
When I woke up ay nagpaalam na kami kay Tito Ryu na aalis na sa poder nila. Humingi rin ako ng tawad sakaniya sa mga kaganapan na nangyari nitong mga nakaraan. Hiyang hiya ako sakaniya dahil syempre ama siya ni Ryoga at Kuya Red. Hindi niya ako sinagot at tanging pagtango lang ang natanggap ko sakaniya nang humingi ako ng tawad. Nagsalita lamang siya nang paalis na kami at halos hindi na maalis sa isip ko ang sinabi niya.
"Forgive Ryoga for what you think happened. You two were just a victim from this playful world that is full of people who have grudges. I will punish myself the real perpetrators."
Ni hindi ako makatulog sa pag iisip sa sinabi niyang 'yon. Wala akong maintindihan at kahit anong pilit kong pag iintindi ay walang pumapasok sa kukote ko. Ano kayang gusto niyang sabihin? At sino ang sinasabi niyang real perpetrators?
I slowly stood up from my bed and fixed the blanket of Ivan. Dahan dahan akong lumabas ng kwarto ko at dumiretso sa kusina para magtimpla ng gatas. Kumuha ako ng cup at nag init ng tubig sa electric kettle. I waited for it to be boiled at nang kumulo na ito ay binuhos ko sa mug ang tubig. Hinalo ko ang gatas gamit ang kutsara at pumwesto ako sa dining table. I sat on the chair.
Nakatulala lamang ako habang nag iisip. Bakit hindi ma alis alis sa isip ko ang sinabi niyang 'yon?
"I will punish myself the real perpetrators?" Tanong ko sa sarili ko.
Para na siguro akong tanga habang nag iisip dito. Paanong nasabi ni Tito Ryu 'yon? Sinong real suspects ang binabanggit niya? Take note na plural form pa ang noun ha. So, it is more than one right?
I massaged my temple when I felt that my head is pounding again. Shit! I should stop thinking about it now. I drank my milk at mabilis kong inilayo ang mug sa bibig ko nang mapaso ako. I touched my tongue when I felt pain there.
"Bwishit." Inis na sabi ko habang hawak ko ang dila kong napaso.
"Mukha kang aso."
"Aahh!" Sigaw ko nang magulat ako. Nabitawan ko ang cup na hawak hawak ko at nabasag ito sa sahig.
"Shit!" I shouted.
Buti na lamang ay hindi ako napaso. Pinulot ko ang mga bubog sa sahig at mabilis akong hinila ni Ryoga patayo.
"Ako na. Baka masugat ka pa." He said and he started picking up the broken pieces of the mug.
"Kumuha ka ng basahan at dust pan." Utos niya na mabilis kong sinunod.
I went outside to get the dustpan at inilagay sa tabi niya. Kumuha rin ako ng basahan at pinunasan niya ang sahig. He went to the sink at kumuha ulit ng bagong basahan and cleaned the floor. Nang matapos siya ay naghugas siya ng kamay atsaka siya humarap sa akin.
"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Tanong ko.
"Raine called me and he said that you passed out. Buntis ka ba?"
"Ano?!" Gulat na tanong ko sakaniya.
Naglakad siya papalapit sa akin at napaatras ako ng wala sa oras. Nang wala na akong maatrasan pa ay naramdaman ko ang malamig na pader sa likuran ko.
"Get off me." I said when he locked me between his arms.
"I don't want to." Nakangiti na sabi niya.
"Umalis ka nga! Saka anong buntis? H-hindi ako buntis!" I shouted right in front of his face.
Tsaka teka nga, why is he acting like this? As if we were okay? We were not yet okay baka nakakalimutan niya. I was about to push him on his chest when he claimed my lips. My eyes widened because of that sudden movement. What the hell?
I didn't move my lips and he was kissing me. He placed his both hands on my waist and pulled me closer towards him. He groaned when he bit my lower lip and he took that advantage to entered his tongue inside my mouth.
Napakapit ako sa may braso niya nang maramdaman ko ang panlalambot ng mga tuhod ko. Para akong dinadala sa ulap ng mga labi niya. I want him to stop but I know to myself that I missed this. That there was a big part of me that misses him so much.
I kissed him back when the sadness filled up my heart. I was longing for this. I missed his kisses and the way he touched me before. He raised my one leg and I jumped to him. He placed his hands under my ass and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked towards the table and made me sit there. He placed himself between my legs.
Bumaba ang mga halik niya papunta sa leeg ko at napapikit ako sa sensasyon na nararamdaman ko. Sinabunutan ko ang buhok niya at mas lalo kong diniin ang sarili ko sakaniya.
"Ryoga." I called for his name.
"Yoshikawa." He whispered that made my eyes opened
My heart started to beat so fast because of it. I heard him laughing a little while he's still kissing my neck. Napalunok ako at halos manigas na ako sa takot. I tried to push him but he just burried his face on me.
"Are you scared?" He asked.
I felt his lips on ny neck and he sucked it. I groaned in pain when it hurts me.
"Hindi ako natatakot sa'yo." I said and he stopped from what he is doing.
Inilayo niya ang mukha niya sa leeg ko at halos maiyak ako nang magtama ang mga mata namin.
These. These are the eyes who hurt me.
"Yeah. You shouldn't be scared of me. I am still Ryoga." He said atsaka siya lumayo sa akin.
He grabbed a chair and sat on it, infront of me. Tinikom ko ang mga hita ko dahil hindi magandang tignan ang posisyon naming dalawa. He is not Ryoga. Kahit iisa lang sila ng katawan, magkaiba parin sila.
"Anong ginagawa mo rito? Bakit nandiyan ka nanaman? Where is Ryoga?" Matapang na tanong ko kahit pa takot na takot na ako.
"Didn't you miss me?" He asked and he touched my legs. "Because I missed you. Especially what happened to us during those days."
He pulled his chairs towards me at pinwesto niya ang sarili niya sa pagitan ng mga hita ko. He wrapped his hands around my waist and he's looking up to me.
"Bakit hindi ka na takot?" Nakangiti na tanong niya. "Mahal mo na rin ba ako?"
Imbes na sumagot ako sa tanong niya ay isang malakas na sampal ang binigay ko. Bumakat ang kamay ko sa maputi niyang mukha at pulang pula ito.
"Edi ouch." He said and he laughed so loud.
Dumagundong ang tawa niya sa kusina at para siyang baliw sa pagtawa niya. After seconds of laughing ay tumigil ito at napalunok ako nang tignan niya ako nang masama. He stood up from his chair and he raised his hand in the air. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko nang akmang sasampalin niya rin ako. Hinintay kong maramdaman ang palad niya sa mukha ko, pero wala akong naramdamang sampal. I opened my eyes again just to see him looking straight to my eyes.
"Even if I want to hurt you, I can't do it." He said which made me confused.
Hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko, at napalunok ako sa way ng pagtitig niya sa akin. He's looking at me like I am the most precious thing to him. I can see the love and care on his stares. He's looking at me the way Ryoga is looking at me.
"R-Ryoga?" Tawag ko sakaniya pero ngumiti lamang ito. That smile confirms me that it's still him.
"Yoshikawa." Pangco-correct niya.
"W-why are you looking at me like that? Hindi ba't galit ka sa akin? Bakit hindi mo 'ko saktan ngayon gaya nang pananakit mo sa akin noon?"
"I can't." He said again. "I can't hurt you."
"You hurt me before!" I shouted but he just laughed.
"You think so?" He answered and held my chin up.
"Bitawan mo 'ko." I pushed his hand away. "You know what, I badly want to kill you right now. But the fact that it's Ryoga's body, I can't even do it!"
"Pwede mo naman akong saktan ah?"
Naglakad siya palayo sa akin at napatakip ako sa bibig ko nang kumuha siya ng kutsilyo.
"W-what are you doing?!" I asked and I ran towards him.
Akmang aagawin ko na ang kutsilyo sakaniya nang itaas niya ito sa ere. He is taller than me so I couldn't even get it from him.
"Give me that thing! Don't you fucking dare hurt Ryoga's body!" Naiiyak na sabi ko.
"Oh my, naiiyak ka na ba? Weak mo naman." Tumatawa na sabi niya.
He pulled me towards him habang hawak hawak niya pa rin ang kutsilyo na nasa kamay niya. I stopped from moving when he placed the knife on my neck. I swallowed my own saliva and my hearts started to race so damn fast.
"A-are you going to kill me?" Tanong ko sakaniya.
"I told you I can't hurt you, right?"
"Then, what are you doin-"
I stopped talking when he pressed the knife on my neck. I stopped breathing for seconds at nakahinga lang ako nang maayos nang bitawan niya ang kutsilyo na hawak hawak niya.
"Joke lang! Masyado ka namang kabado e." Tumatawa na sabi niya. He let go of me and my tears suddenly fell on my eyes.
"Walanghiya ka!" Sigaw ko sakaniya at pinaghahampas ko siya. He was just laughing like an idiot while I look like a fucking crazy crying and hurting him.
"Napakasama mo! Gago ka!" He caught both of my hands and hugged me. I was crying on his chest while he was hugging me so tight.
"I didn't hurt you. As long as I wanted to hurt you so badly before, I couldn't. Ryoga is me, and Yoshikawa is Ryoga. And if Ryoga loves someone, I love that someone too."
Tumigil ako sa pagpupumiglas sa pagkakahawak niya sa akin. Anong sinasabi niya?
"I was born because of what happened to Jowana. I was created to take a revenge for what happened to her, to my mom and to your family."
I was about to look at him but he just hugged me tighter.
"I hated you ever since. I wanted to kill you, to hurt you and to do what exactly happened to Jowana. I despised you the most. But when that fucking stupid Ryoga fell inlove you, I started to feel the same thing with him. Fuck him for ruining my plans."
"W-what are you saying?"
"Do you wanna know a secret?" He whispered to my ears.
"W-what secret?"
"Mahal din kita." Bulong niya sa tenga ko habang tumatawa nang mahina.
"A-anong sinasabi mo?!"
"At kung may mahal ka, sasaktan mo ba? Hindi, 'di ba?"
Humiwalay siya sa pagkakayakap niya sa akin. Nakangiti siya sa akin nang nakakaloko at halos kilabutan ako sa ngiti niyang 'yon. Bigla niya akong inatake ng halik at halos manlaki ang mga mata ko.
"A-no hmmmp."
Sinubukan kong humiwalay sa mga labi niya pero hindi ko magawa. Tinulak niya ako at napasandal ako sa may pader habang hinahalikan niya pa rin ang mga labi ko.
"Yoshikawa!"
Tumigil siya sa paghalik sa akin nang marinig namin ang boses na 'yon. Humiwalay siya sa akin atsaka niya ako tinago sa likuran niya.
"Nandito ka na nga?" Inis na sabi niya.
"What are you doing to her?" Kuya Red asked.
"Are you okay, Rej?" It's Kuya Raine this time. Sumilip ako at nakita ko silang nakatayo malapit sa amin.
"I didn't hurt her for fuck's sake." Yoshikawa said while laughing. "I can't hurt my girl."
"Tara na. Umuwi na tayo." Kuya Red said.
"Can't I stay with her? Damn, I missed her."
Yoshikawa held my hand at hinila niya ako papunta sakaniya. Inakbayan niya ako at kita ko ang takot sa mata ng dalawang lalaking nasa harapan namin.
"I-It's okay. He won't hurt me." I said.
"Won't hurt?" Kuya Raine asked. "He hurt you before! You fucking bastard, kahit katawan pa 'yan ni Ryoga makakatikim ka talaga sa akin if you hurt her again!"
"Why are you mad at me man?"
"Huwag mo 'kong matawag tawag na man. Hindi tayo close."
"Takpan mo ilong mo." Bulong niya sa akin.
"Huh?"
"Takpan mo sabi ilong mo. Bingi." He whispered to my ears again.
Automatic na tinakpan ko ang ilong ko at sinunod ang bilin niya. May kinuha siya mula sa bulsa niya at tinapon ito sa harapan ng dalawa.
"Ba-bye!" Masayang sabi niya at nakita ko na lamang na may usok na lumabas don sa hinagis niya.
"Huwag kang hihinga." Sabi nito.
Hinila niya ang kamay ko at dali dali niya akong kinaladkad palabas ng kusina. We are both running away and I could even hear Kuya Red and Kuya Raine's coughing.
"Walanghiya ka! Ano 'yon?!" Sigaw ko sakaniya nang makalabas kami ng bahay.
"Pampatulog 'yon. Madalas nilang gamitin sa akin 'yon, kaya sakanila ko naman 'yon gagamitin. Ang galing ko 'diba? Karma is a bitch." He said like a kid. "Tara na."
"S-saan tayo pupunta?!" I shouted when he started walking at hila hila nanaman ako.
"Baka last day ko na 'to. I want to spend it with you."
Kinaladkad niya ako palabas ng gate at may sasakyan ang naroroon. Binuksan niya ang kotse at pilit na ipinasok sa loob.
"Yoshikawa!" I shouted when he closed the door. Hindi ko na mabuksan pa ang pinto at sunod siyang pumasok at pinaandar ang makina ng kotse.
"Saan mo 'ko dadalhin?!" I asked him but he just ignored me and started driving the car.
Napakapit ako nang sobrang higpit nang halos lumipad na kami sa pagpapaandar niya ng kotse.
"Putangina! May anak pa 'ko!" I shouted and closed my eyes.
"Anak natin dzai!" He answered while laughing.
He is crazy! What if we die by the way he drives?! Ryoga is a hella crazy driver but he is crazier! Buong byahe akong nakapikit habang nagdarasal na sana walang mangyari sa amin. Idinilat ko na lamang ang mga mata ko nang huminto ang sasakyan. I took a lot of deep breathes and he went out of the car. Bumaba rin ako ng kotse at tumambad sa akin ang isang hindi kalakihang bahay.
"Kaninong bahay 'to?" Tanong ko.
"Sa kaibigan ko." He said and went to the gate.
May kaibigan siya? Kaibigan niya lang ba o kaibigan nila ni Ryoga? He pressed the door bell multiple times na para bang wala siyang balak na tumigil kung hindi lalabas ang taong nakatira.
"You're annoying." I said.
"I know. But the woman inside this house loves my annoying ass."
"Is she just really your friend?" I asked and he stopped pressing the doorbell.
"Bakit? Selos ka? Iyo lang naman ako e." He said and winked at me.
"Disgusting."
The gate opens and a pretty woman welcomes us. She looked at us with a wide eyes na para bang nakakita siya ng multo.
"Y-Yoshikawa."
"Hi." He greeted her and hugged her right away.
"A-anong ginagawa mo rito kasama siya?" Tanong ng babae at humiwalay ito sa pagkakayakap niya sakaniya.
"Pinapakilala siya sa'yo. Reginy si Arah. Arah si Rej. Shake your hands." He said at inabot nito ang kamay ko sakaniya. I shook her hand and she looks so uncomfortable.
"Why do we need to introduce ourselves with each other?" She asked.
I stared at her face and somehow she looks so familiar. Hindi ko alam kung saan ko siya nakita, o kung nagkakilala na ba kami noon. But I know for sure that I know this face of her.
"W-why?" She nervously asked me when she noticed that I was staring.
"Nothing. You just look familiar. Have we met before?"
"N-no! Ngayon lang kita nakita!" Mabilis na sagot niya.
Or maybe may kamukha lang siya? Ay, ewan. I really don't care din naman. I just want to go home! Why am I here in the first place again? Especially with Yoshikawa?! I must be crazy!
"Pasok kayo." Arah told us at nauna nang pumasok si Yoshikawa. "Rej, tara?" She told me sweetly and even her voice sounded familiar.
Pumasok na lamang ako sa loob at sinara niya ang gate. Bumungad sa akin ang napaka gandang garden na puno ng mga bulaklak. Kahit gabi na ay hindi ko maiwasang ma amaze. May mga christmast lights kasi na nakapalibot sa ibang halaman na nagbibigay liwanag sakanila.
"Your garden looks so beautiful." I commented.
"Yoshikawa was the one who designed this. Siya rin ang nagtanim ng ibang mga halaman at bulaklak."
"Oh?" Gulat na sagot ko.
I don't know why but I felt a little angry thinking how Yoshikawa was planting these plants for her. Siguro dahil alam kong si Ryoga pa rin siya at may pinagtataniman siyang ibang babae.
Pumasok kami sa loob at sala ang unang bumungad sa amin. I sat on the sofa and I can hear Yoshikawa's voice singing in the kitchen. Maliit lang ang bahay at tama lang kaya dinig na dinig ko ang boses niya rito.
"I'm sorry if he is noisy. He's always like that whenever he is cooking."
"Aahh." Tumatango na sabi ko.
I looked around the sala room and I saw some picture frames na nakasabit sa wall. Napakunot ang noo ko nang makitang may pictures sila ni Yoshikawa. Tatlong picture frames na magkakatabi. Ang isa ay matinong picture. They are both smiling next to each other. The second one naman ay naka akbay si Yoshikawa sakaniya habang naka peace sign silang pareho. The last one naman ay naka piggy back siya kay Yoshikawa while he is pouting his lips. Are they closed?
"I didn't know Yoshikawa has a life." Bulong ko.
"He has actually. He might be just an alter ego but he has a life to live too."
"So you know about his condition?"
"Yeah. I knew it from the start."
"Kailan pa kayo nagkakilala?"
"When he was twenty."
So, matagal na pala? Ilang taon na!
"L-lagi ba kayong magkasama?" I asked.
"As long as I wanted to be with him always, he can't. He only stays at Ryoga's body for two weeks at madalas pa siyang dalhin ni Red sa California."
So, they are really closed. She even knows Kuya Red.
"Heto na ang pancit canton!" Masayang sabi ni Yoshikawa nang lumabas siya ng kusina.
Dala dala niya ang isang tray na may isang malaking plato na punong puno ng pancit canton. May pandesal din doon at isang pitchel ng orange juice.
"Kumain muna tayo. Nagugutom ako."
Umupo siya sa tabi ko at inabutan niya kaagad ng plato si Arah. Nilagyan niya rin ito ng pancit canton sa plato niya at pandesal. He even put juice on her glass. I was just watching them.
"Kain ka na, Reginy." He told me.
I waited for him to give me a plate with pancit canton but he didn't do it. He even started eating!
"Kumain ka na. Ayaw mo ba?" He asked while they are both eating.
"Ayoko. Busog ako." Masungit na sabi ko atsaka ko siya inirapan.
Fuck! If this is Ryoga, he will never ever do that to me! Baka nga nanginginig pa siyang pagsilbihan ako! Tapos itong gagong 'to, pinagsisilbihan ang ibang babae?! This is fucking crazy! I'm getting pissed.
"Yoshikawa." Tawag sakaniya ni Arah at kapwa kaming napatingin sakaniya.
"Dito ka ba matutulog?"
"Excuse me?" I interrupted. "He is with me. He can't sleep here with you."
"Ah ganon ba?" Malungkot na sabi niya. "Magtatagal ka ba sa katawan niya? Pang ilang araw mo na?"
"Una palang pero palagay ko hindi na ako magtatagal ng dalawang linggo."
"B-bakit?" Naiiyak na tanong niya. "Kailan ka ulit babalik? Matatagalan ba?"
"Arah, ang totoo niyan sapalagay ko hindi na ako magtatagal." Binaba ni Yoshikawa ang plato niya sa may lamesa. "Kaya ako nagpunta rito kasama siya ay para sana magpaalam."
Totoo ba 'tong naririnig ko? Bakit parang ang bait ng demonyong 'to?
"M-magpaalam? Bakit? Anong nangyari?"
"H-hindi ko alam. Palagay ko may nangyayari kay Ryoga."
"Anong nangyayari sakaniya?" Nag aalala na tanong ko.
"Hindi ko alam. Noon kapag ginusto kong lumabas nagagawa ko, pero ngayon nahihirapan na ako. Para bang ayaw niya akong palabasin. Maganda na rin 'to. 'Yung mawala ako para masaya na kayo. Hindi ba?" He asked me while smiling.
"O-oo. Mabuti na nga 'yon." I said and I heard the sound of the plate cracking on the floor.
"Huy! Bakit mo tinapon?! Sayang! Putek!" Sigaw ni Yoshikawa at mabilis niyang kinuha ang pancit canton at nilagay sa plato niya.
"Wala pang five minutes! Pwede pa 'tong kainin!" Tumatawa na sabi niya.
"Umalis na kayo."
Napatingin ako kay Arah at kita ko ang pamumula ng mga mata niya. She looks like she is about to cry but she's just stopping them to fall.
"Arah, galit ka ba? Bakit hindi ka hospitable? May bisita tayo oh."
"Umalis ka na, Yoshikawa! Huwag na huwag ka nang magpapakita sa akin! Lumayas kayong dalawa!"
"Arah." Tawag niya sakaniya.
"Alis!"
"Arah, huwag ka namang ganito. Bakit ka ba nagagalit? Dinalaw na nga kita oh. Hindi ka pa ba pasalamat? Nagdala pa ako ng isang kaibigan kasi sabi mo wala kang kaibigan bukod sa akin."
"Please lang, Yoshikawa. Get the fuck out of my house."
"Baka ito na ang huling beses mo 'kong makikita. Paaalisin mo pa rin ba ako?"
"Alis."
"Arah, ayaw kong mawala nang hindi tayo maayos. Magpapaalam ako nang maayos sa'yo."
"Bakit kailangan mo pang magpaalam?" Nagulat ako nang bigla na siyang umiyak. "Kung aalis ka rin naman at mawawala, sana hindi mo nalang sinabi. Hinayaan mo nalang sana akong maghintay sa wala kaysa malaman kong hindi ka na babalik!"
"Ayaw kong magmukha kang tanga sa paghihintay sa akin."
"Please lang, Yoshikawa. Umalis ka na. Umalis na kayong dalawa sa harapan ko."
Biglang lumapit sakaniya si Yoshikawa at yumakap ito nang mahigpit sakaniya. She started crying even louder and she hugged him so tight too. Bakas sa mukha niya ang takot at sakit.
"Huwag ka nang umalis. Dito ka nalang sa'kin. Please." Dinig kong bulong niya na nagbigay ng sakit sa dibdib ko.
"Kung pwede lang, matagal na akong nanatili sa'yo. Kaso hindi ako ang mayari ng katawang 'to. May buhay si Ryoga at hindi na natin siya pwedeng guluhin."
"Nagmamakaawa ako, Yosh. Huwag kang mawawala, please. Hindi ko kaya!"
"Sinabi ko naman sa'yo noon, 'di ba? Hindi pwede." Humiwalay siya sa pagkakayakap nito sakaniya at pinunasan niya ang luha sa mga mata nito.
"Pahiram lang ako e." He added and I saw tears falling down from his eyes. He is crying!
"Why can't you stay?! Huh?! Why?!"
"Kapag nanatili ako, hindi gagaling si Ryoga. Ayokong mabuhay habang buhay na nakikihati sakaniya. Kaya nakikiusap ako sa'yo, tanggapin mo nalang din gaya nang pagtanggap ko. Tinatanggap ko na."
Arah hugged him again and I don't know why but I feel their pain. I can feel the pain of Arah. She doesn't want him to let go.
"Mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita." Dinig kong sabi niya.
Yoshikawa looked at me as if he is asking for a permission. Fuck! He's inlove with her! Tumango na lamang ako sakaniya. Hindi naman si Ryoga ang nagmamahal kay Arah e. It was Yoshikawa, right? Magkaiba pa rin naman 'yon, 'di ba?
"Mahal din kita."
I looked away when he kissed her lips. Is that valid? That was Ryoga's lips and he is kissing another girl! In front of me! Tinignan ko sila ulit at nakita kong magkayakap na lamang sila dalawa. Naunang humiwalay si Arah sakaniya at pinunasan nito ang mga luha niya sa mata.
"Sige na, umalis na kayo." She said. "Okay na ako."
"Arah." Tawag nito sakaniya.
"Okay na 'ko, Yoshikawa." Nakangiti na sabi niya. "Masaya na ako at pipilitin kong maging masaya kahit wala ka na."
Yoshikawa looked at me and motion me to stand up. Tumayo ako mula sa sofa at hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.
"Mauna na kami. Mag iingat ka parati." Yoshikawa said.
"M-mag iingat ka rin." Arah said and then she looked at me. "Mag iingat kayong dalawa. Masaya akong makita ka ulit."
Ulit?
"Tara na, Rej."
Hinila na ako palabas ni Yoshikawa at mabilis niya akong kinaladkad papuntang sasakyan niya. Ipinasok niya ako ron sa loob at dali dali nanaman siyang nagmaneho.
"Bilisan na natin. Baka hindi na ako makaabot." He said.
Bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko sakaniya? Bakit parang ibang iba siya sa Yoshikawa na nanakit at nanamantala sa akin? Why do I feel like he's a different person?
"Yoshikawa." Tawag ko sakaniya habang busy siyang nagmamaneho.
"Oh?"
"Ikaw ba talaga 'yung taong nanakit at nang gahasa sa akin?" I asked at halos sumubsob na ako harapan nang bigla siyang mag preno.
"Ano ba?! Are you going to kill us?!" Bulyaw ko sakaniya.
"Always remember, Rej. I hated you and wanted to hurt and even kill you. But I can't." He said and started to drive again.
Anong ibig niyang sabihin?