(Y/N)'s POV
It had been one month after that suspiciousness flooded my head. All with all the things about job getting busier and stuff, I could feel that we weren't as close as before.
Especially after that awkward moment at the alley. She looked really shocked back then, she didn't even talk much...
And in term of job, I could tell that we were pretty busy. I tried to chat her, but she didn't reply back. Maybe her job was somewhat very distracting. Not that I wanted to get her full attention! But... she hadn't replied any of my chat...
I couldn't say I wasn't distracted as well. Plus, thinking about job and about Rosie at the same time, my head felt like it was about to split in half like a cracked coconut.
My job performance was getting lower and lower. And I felt more tired just by thinking about Rosie. No chat, no phone call, no meeting with her... I didn't even meet her at the church. As if I lived in a different time line.
And here I was, sitting on the canteen with a cup of coffee. I didn't even get much sleep for myself. "Bro."I felt a little tap on my shoulder from Jonathan. But I didn't respond because of how tired I was. "Shit, you don't look too popping. Something happened?" I just lowered my head, not wanting to talk about it about it.
Hell, I didn't even want to think even a bit about this... I was too confused. "Come on, lil' bro. Talk to me."
But... then again, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell him... that I actually had a friend beside him. It's not like I would make him 'jealous', right?
And so, I told him everything about her. How things started back when I felt something strange about her, how I felt like she had something behind her... and how things back at the alley worked out.
Without telling her name, or her gender, of course. "D-Do you mind keeping everything that has happened today to ourselves?"
Her unusual statement really confused the hell out of me. As if our meeting was a proximity bomb that would explode as soon as someone realized that we talked to each other.
I still remembered Rosie saying that thing. And I would respect her wish. If she wanted privacy, then she would get it. Even if it would puzzle my mind.
"Guessing from your situation, I could tell that things wouldn't be easy... girl's problem, huh?"
I just nodded in defeat. "I don't know what made her mad... she just... left like that. And left me all wandering what in Heaven Earth and Hell I had done to make her cry like that." But he just laughed at me rather than saying something...
He relaxed a bit more and leant against the desk while sipping his coffee. "Boy, you're so far from romantic life." I looked at him the look of 'what do you mean?' "Girls are really hard to be guessed. At first, I always thought that Jisoo was a quite girl.
But after I got to know how she acted, I found something new about her. Every single time." He sipped his coffee, while I sipped his word with a big question mark on my head.
"What are you getting at?"
"You see, girl's personality isn't based on their look. You need to look deeper." I knew that, everybody said it. But the look on my face told him that I wasn't sure enough of it as I raised my eyebrow. "Not convince?" He pulled his phone and started typing. "Before I show you this, I want to hear your opinion about Jisoo. Everything. Looks, personality, anything goes."
I thought for a sec. and gave an okay before he extended his phone with his dream girlfriend on it. I looked thoroughly into her face, her figure, everything. From her face, her figure... "I'd say she's a quite person, she's so mature, she likes to pick her food carefully, maybe she likes keeping some distance with some animals too... guess that's what came out of my head."
Jonathan nodded at me. "You're half right, but half wrong." I looked at him with a little irritation. He kept going on and on without telling me his true purpose. Does this have any meaning at all?! "She's not quiet, she's calm. And about her maturity, that's not entirely true. She could be goofy sometimes. And her goofiness could cheer someone. Even a crying kid."
I couldn't help but carved a stronger unconvinced face for his out-of-box statement. Well, I wasn't the one to judge since I didn't know her that well. Meanwhile he had been paying attention to her his whole life. I bet.
"I'll let you in on something." I braced for what was coming. "Her favorite food is actually chicken."
After hearing that, I was glad that I wasn't drinking anything. Or else, I would spit it on his face. What kind of beautiful girl ate such thing as their favorite food?! "C-Chicken?" Or at least, that was what I thought of how complex food choices for girls...
He put up his phone and showed me a clip of Jisoo with her friends from YouTube. He showed me several that contains everything Jonathan said about Jisoo.
Her goofiness, her cuteness, how she spelled some English words in some hilarious ways. All according to Jonathan's descriptive explanation.
And the answer... yes, she was really cute and goofy, just as Jonathan said... my eyes couldn't believe it as I tried to open my eyes wider and wider the more this girl became bizarre in my eyes. A 'beautiful calm' girl could be this playful, funny, like this?
He showed some more videos of Jisoo playing games with her Nintendo Switch. As soon as I detected a huge wide monitor on her room, my eyes felt like it would pop out of my skull if I opened it wider.
She's a freaking gamer?! Jonathan, who noticed how mind-blown-ed I was, grinned in satisfaction that the fact he spoke about went along with the expression he expected me to let out.
He scrolled down through the ocean of videos about Jisoo's crackhead montage. "Oh, you gotta see this one! She looks like a girl from another world!" Well, it wouldn't hurt to watch another. Hell, why would I, anyway? I needed some refreshing as well. We saw Jisoo who was playing with her hair.
And we just sat there for what it felt like forever, watching Jonathan's dream girl. Until... "Oh, look! I think this one is when Jisoo was with Rosé"
My heart sank deeply as instant as her name echoed inside my ears. Rosé?! What the hell is with this name?! The video started, showing Jisoo with... Rosie?! Rosé...Rosie... Rosé...Rosie! What the hell is this name?! What is this mind-blowing game?!
What kind of mind game is this?!
"Hello, I'm Rosé." The girl on my right introduced herself in an Australian accent that wasn't strange enough in my ears.
"I'm Jisoo." While the other introduced herself in a slow-pace English with some Korean accent in it.
"And we are Chae-Soo!"
I silently pinched myself... but the scenery wouldn't change. It was still... Rosie... or ... Rosé. Rosé... Chaeyoung... Rosie... god damn it...
I didn't even realize that my breathing had become heavy due to my head spinning around like a tornado with so many things I didn't understand. And it seemed like Jonathan noticed it before me. "(Y/N)! Damn it, you okay? Stay with me, boy!"
"I-I need to go." I pushed him off me and quickly left the coffee on the table before I ran quickly to the front door. Those names... Chae...Chaeyoung...Rosie...Rosé... Who is she? How come she has so many names on her pockets? What kind of parents named her like those?!
Which one is the real one?!
I hopped onto my bike and quickly cycled my way home. I tried gain my focus as I rode the bike. As hard as I could, I pressured the thought deep inside my consciousness so I wouldn't end up hitting something. Or worse, someone.
After twenty minutes of riding the bike like crazy, I reached my apartment without hitting anything, thank God...
I didn't bother putting things neatly. I quickly sat on my bed while trying to calm my breathing down. What are you... who are you? The REAL you?!
Okay... time out! There are things that have been budging my head... and I don't thing all of this is a misunderstanding... nor a coincidence, I'm afraid...
First: She has a sister named Jisoo. And I first saw Jisoo when I was with Jonathan as part of the Blackpink. Today, I saw her with Rosé... which makes her sister is part of the Blackpink...
Second: This Rosé bullshit. I have become really really irritated with this name... as if my ears would bleed if I ever hear this shit one more time. Rosie told me that Rosé is her special name from the guy back at the alley... but if it's so special that makes her that terrified, it's not supposed to be used carelessly.
Meanwhile, her name is everywhere on the media!!
There... two solid explanation... why...
No! For the last time, I didn't want to jump into conclusion. I still wanted to believe that my friend was Rosie, not Rosé.
And I guess, there was only one left to do. One thing, that separated me from the truth
I picked my phone and typed on YouTube. 'Rosie Blackpink'. Please no, please no, please no... I slowly and hesitantly pressed the search button...
Rosé's POV
It had been a whole month, without him... I missed playing around with him. I didn't even meet him when I biked on the park on the morning.
I didn't blame him if he was still awkward after that incident with Chanyeol... I owed him an explanation too. No, I owed him a lot of things... even an apology, a big one.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was mad at me... I had been a bad friend too. And now, I went away for a month without saying anything...like someone went away without saying goodbye... except that this wasn't a goodbye....
I hope...
I had been debating with myself, and gaining some courage to face him... I even consulted with the pastor at the church, and it made me came home way later. I wouldn't be surprised if (Y/N) didn't know since... I didn't have the courage to discuss this at the church. So I picked another spot outside the church while still bringing Hana for playing.
And if you asked me how often she asked me about her Oppa... I didn't dare answer it with another lie... enough was enough! Besides, lying to a kid would be so much worse than anyone else...
Morals, tips, encouragement, I got the supports I needed from my Unnies. They kept cheering on me, accompanying me whenever I needed them, whenever I cried, whenever I became too quiet.
Lisa kept cheering me, like stealing my chipmunk plushie, as always. Jennie Unnie kept inviting me to do a lot of things. Cooking, playing with her dogs, and painting some random stuffs with her....
While Jisoo cheered me by playing with Dalgom and offering her chicken snacks to me whenever I was in the middle of my activity. To her, chickens always cheered her up when she was sad. Always.
And now, we were gathering on the living room. Ever since I cried, we always gathered to spend time together. Event our pets were here. Yay... ish.
Now that we were all in the living room, in a quiet vibe, I knew things were about to go seriously. "Well, have you made your decision, Chaeyoung? It's been a month and I think it's too long." Jennie was getting impatient as she crossed her hand as if she had been waiting along with (Y/N). She was the one who encouraged me the most to call him, maybe she was dying to know my answer.
Jennie was staring at me while the other two was nodding at her statement. "I-I know, I just... I'm not sure whether I'm ready or not."
"Don't... be late." Jisoo added.
"Yeah, Chae. If you're late, you might not gonna see him again. Maybe... forever." Lisa's last word echoed in my head. Forever. No, I didn't want that. I never wanted anything about it!
"But I want to-" feeling overwhelmed, I had no choice. Feeling too pressured with the amount of time I had consumed, and some conviction from my sisters... "Ugh, FINE!!" the three cheered up and circled up around me in a group hug.
I searched his name on my phone for a few minutes. Yes, I had a lot of contacts. And finally, I found it after I dug through the ocean of contacts.
(Y/N) :p
Everyone was already behind me, waiting for the call to happen. But... I just... couldn't touch the "Call" button.
It was so easy, yet so hard to do. So close, yet so far... Good thing Lisa helped me do it. Well, more like she initiated the call, leaving me on my panic state.
"Lalisa Manoban! What are you doing?! My mental is not prepared." The others couldn't help but laughed at my state right now. Ugh, thank you Jerry!
"Come on girl! You're all good! You've been preparing this for a whole month, there's nothing to go wrong here. You think too much." Lisa massaged my shoulder playfully. Then AGAIN, she sped up my heart beat as she pushed the loud speaker button. "No secret."
Ugh... everything I had planned for things to work, EVERYTHING!!! It might blow up in a second thanks to this little maknae of mine
After a few beeps, he finally picked up, and my heartbeat went faster than Dalgom running around. Okay, Rosie Posie! Calm down. You can do this! Be cheerful just like how you really are, and ask him out to go to a place so we can have a little chat about this!
"A-Annyeonghaseyo, (Y/N)! It-It's been a long time!" I tried to sound as cheerful as possible. But inside, I was shaking like a broken washing machine.
"Oh, it's you, Rosie." But his voice was rather... off. He sounded... dead, different... maybe I called the wrong person? But when I checked the contact name, it remained the same as when I pressed- Lisa pressed the call button.
"Or should I call you, Rosé"
My heart sank deeply... my smile slowly dropped as Unnies gasped. "(Y/N)... I-" I tried to find the right words to explain to him
"What's the meaning of this, Rosé?" I wanted to explain to him really bad, but nothing came out of my mouth and nothing was going according to what I predicted.
I was too shocked! Too scared! This didn't go along with everything I imagined in my head! "Why, Rosie? I'm gonna ask you this one last time." I could sense his anger on his tone.
Scared of him thinking it the wrong way, I started explaining with fear rising in me. "I-I... I thought you... you were one of the BLINKS who just want my stuffs and keep stalking me. I-" those words slipped from my mouth without me noticing it and without my brain controlling it.
"So... it is all according to my prediction in the end, huh?" I could head his sigh, my heart sank even deeper.
I turned behind. "Say something!" Jisoo was mouth cueing to me. I could already felt rubs on my back.
"N-No, (Y/N), I-"
"So, you never trust me... from the very beginning. After all this..." I felt my heart cracked into pieces just by hearing those simple words.
His cold, dead voice was spoken to me with so much anger, agony, sadness, but most of all... disappointment. Those words cut even deeper than blade on my heart. And my eyes already felt teary because of it. The funny part was that I was the one who caused it.
"Well, I guess this is how things are supposed to go... you're a celebrity, and I'm just... nobody. There's no way you'd trust someone like me, right?" he sadly laughed to himself... the feeling of betrayal filled the conversation as I could feel myself cracking even more like a broken vase.
"NO, WAIT-"
"Thank you for everything. Goodbye, Roseanne Park. Or Rosé, Chaeyoung... whoever your name is." But those words meant deeper than just a normal goodbye...
It was filled with sorrow, his voice was telling me that he felt... betrayed. I betrayed him... just because of my idiocy and this fucking insecurity... Ha... hahaha... serves me right. Hahaha... hahahahahahahaha!
I couldn't hold my tears anymore as I let a few sobs escaped my mouth. "Rosie, don't worry... we'll-"
I didn't even get to hear what Jennie said. I felt my body was getting limp as I threw my phone on the couch, surprising everyone around me as I felt anger rising. Yet I wasn't angry to anybody in the room... Not even (Y/N).
He had his very own right to be angry at me who had betrayed him and stabbed him from his back. I was angry with myself and my stupid brain that had nothing inside but insecurity! I ran toward the room and slammed the door really hard.
I didn't care how... I didn't care why... I didn't care anything else. I wanted him... I wanted him back. Real bad. While here I was, powerless, wanting the broken friendship to be magically repaired.
I sobbed and cried really hard in my room. I screamed, I hit the pillow I was crying on, I wanted him back. I hugged myself and rocked back and forth on my bed as I heard the three quickly entered my room and hugged me really tight.
Lisa even cried along with me, and the others were keep hugging me. But those weren't the things I needed. I needed him. I wanted him. (Y/N) (L/N). No one else! No one!
"I lost him! *sob* I want him back! I don't want this! *sob* I don't need *sob* this stupid idol life! *sob* I want my friend back!" I kept sobbing harder and louder on Jisoo's shoulder as everyone kept rubbing my back, hoping that it would ease the pain that was already too painful.
"I know, Chaeyoungie... we'll figure this out, okay?" Jennie soothed me with some of her magic words. But I knew, it was all nothing but some lies. Yet I was too smart for it... shame.
"I betrayed him! I threw his trust away like a... fucking garbage! I want-" I didn't get to finish it before sobs after sobs came out of my mouth, filling the whole room with a stronger tensive vibe.
I shocked everyone with my first 'real' curse word I had ever spoken in my entire life, showing how broken I was in front of them. I destroyed him into pieces. And ironically... I got destroyed along with him...
We stayed like that, for about an hour. The others kept soothing me, until I fell asleep on our hug, letting me drifted to the land of dream. A land of dream that I did not wish to be in there. where (Y/N) expressed his disappointment in me over and over. A land of dream... more like a land of nightmare.
Since then, my night was never peaceful again... nightmares started haunting me, creating false image that I did not wish to see.
Everything was never the same since that night.